Twenty-Seven
Parker
The sun rises and sets. The months pass as Tora’s belly grows. We’re toward the end of the pregnancy. Every day I'm wondering if it will be the day—the day our boys will arrive. The doctor said they could come early, but they haven’t yet. I think Tora is ready to rip her hair out. She's miserable and wants her body back. She can't get comfortable when she sleeps; she's restless during the day. It's only a matter of time before I'm driving her to the hospital.
We've been fortunate that there have been no issues with the pregnancy. The babies and Tora have been healthy, even if my girl has had enough of being pregnant. She doesn't complain a lot, knowing she's going through all of this for the babies. She's one of the strongest women I know.
Today marks thirty-seven weeks. My mom has been stopping in when she's not working. Tora's mom has been here daily, dropping off food for us, insisting that she feeds us all before the babies come. She also still gives me the evil eye every time I mention takeout. It's quality food. I happen to love it.
I'm in my office working while Tora cleans the kitchen. I have someone who comes in to do that, but she insists it's not the same. She said the house has to be spotless before the babies come. I half wonder if she's trying to put herself into labor by overworking herself. I've tried to tell her to rest and relax, but the death glare she gives me has me shutting my mouth and hiding behind my computer.
"Parker!" she yells my name.
I'm out of my seat, rushing down the hall toward her. I skid to a stop when I find her standing with a sponge in one hand and a pot in another while her shorts are becoming increasingly wet, liquid pooling at her feet.
Her voice trembles. “My water broke.”
"It’s okay, sweetheart. We’ve been waiting for this to happen." I walk to her and take the items from her hands. After placing them on the counter, I help her out of her shorts and underwear as more comes out of her in a slow trickle.
From the hall closet, I grab a towel for her then go into the bedroom for new underwear, shorts, and the bag we've had packed for the past five weeks. Tora uses the towel to dry herself while I place a call to our doctor. He asks if Tora is having contractions, which when I ask her, she relays she's been having them infrequently all morning, but they've been mild.
With the phone still pressed to my head, I ask, "Why didn't you tell me?"
"I thought it might be from me overdoing it?"
"And you didn't think to rest?"
"I want these babies out of me, Parker!" she yells with fire in her eyes. The doctor chuckles on the other end of the line and tells us to head over to the hospital. That we'll see him there in a bit.
I help Tora down to the Rover and place a clean towel on the seat for her to sit on. She's still leaking but it's slowed. We start the drive to the hospital as a family of two.
"The next time we come home there will be four of us," I tell her with a huge smile on my face. The amount of joy inside me is about to burst from my body. I want to roll down the window and scream at the top of my lungs how happy I am that I'll soon be a father to two boys.
Tora's hand rests on her belly as her face becomes serious. "Can we focus on getting these two out of me first?" The doctor told us we are very lucky both boys are head down. While Tora isn't looking forward to pushing the boys out, she prefers it to a C-section. She's never had surgery before and the thought scares the fuck out of her. The doctor, plus my mom, have told her how common C-sections are, and that she'll be in amazing hands at the hospital, regardless which way the babies are born. They have a team ready for every outcome.
Grabbing her phone, she calls her mom to say we’re on our way to the hospital and asks her to tell everyone else. A contraction comes again, this time stronger. She grips the door as she ends the call.
“Breathe, sweetheart. You got this.”
“Fuck you, Parker. You’re the one who got me in this situation. You fucking breathe.”
I try hard to hide my smile, loving that she is yelling rather than worrying about what’s to come. Tora's nerves have been getting the best of her lately. Half the reason for her staying busy is to keep her mind off all the things that could go wrong during delivery. I'm not naïve to it, but I choose to remain as positive as possible. I fear if I become nervous, it's only going to make her worse. She needs me to be strong and support her in every way.
When we arrive at the hospital, we walk to the elevator, which will take us to labor and delivery. The contractions are strong now, and she's had to stop and take a few breaths until the pain ebbs before she can continue walking.
After checking in and having the doctor on call assess Tora, we’re moved to a birthing room. Luckily, it's not a full moon or we're told the place would be hopping with women going into labor. A monitor is on Tora’s belly for the babies and an IV is placed in her arm. Shit is about to get real.
****
Tora progressed quickly—faster than anyone was anticipating. It felt like we just got here, and they were asking her to push. Our doctor arrived twenty minutes prior. There wasn’t even enough time to get an epidural in. The babies were ready to be born while the doctor and nurses scrambled to take care of everything.
Jude was born at three twenty in the afternoon, with a head full of auburn hair like his mom. Holland was born fourteen minutes later, with light blond hair. Both boys have slate blue eyes and are healthy.
They are everything I could have imagined and more. The first time I saw them, I cried. I could barely see through the tears. The love I felt for them was instant and all-consuming. I knew as soon as they were born I would lay down my life for them and do everything in my power to protect them from harm. They, along with Tora, are my entire world.
The babies are sleeping beside the bed in their own bassinet on wheels. A nurse came in a bit ago to check on everyone and to tell us if the babies become too much, and we want to get some sleep, to call her and she'll take them to the nursery.
I can't sleep. I don’t want to. Sitting in the chair next to the bed, I watch Tora and the babies sleep soundly. Our families and friends came while Tora was in labor and waited until everyone was safe and in our room for the night before they came in. They cooed and passed the babies back and forth, while Tora closed her eyes and smiled. She was tired and groggy from pain medication. She tore as the babies came out and needed stitches. Still, the doctor said everything went well and we were very fortunate to get a natural birth. I don't take that for granted. A lot could have happened or gone wrong with Tora or the babies. I don't know what I would have done if I lost her.
There isn't a day that goes by where I don't stop and appreciate all I have and how different things could have gone since Tora returned to my life. Any one of my friends or family could have been taken from me. Brant almost brought my entire world down around me.
My hands form fists at the thought of what he did, but I quickly shake them out and focus back on the good. I will not let thoughts of that asshole exist long in my head when there is so much joy in front of me.
My mom and Tora's are going to take turns staying at our house for the first few weeks, until we get in the swing of things. It's harder for my mom to take off, but she does have a week of vacation she's been saving to stay home and love up on her grandchildren.
Blair was the last person to come to the hospital to see us. I had talked to her about it and said I would understand if she couldn't come. She lost her own baby, and to visit and see mine, I knew it would be hard. She insisted on it but to give her time. I told her there was no rush. We understood.
When she came into the room, Cy and Eve had gone home by then, my parents had left as well, and Tora's were walking out the door. It was only us and Blair.
She hesitantly stepped into the room and tears filled her eyes. She held out her arms and said, "Give me one of those beautiful boys." And I did.
I handed her Holland first. She sat in the chair and kissed his little head, while
she whispered things I couldn't hear. She rocked him in her arms and pressed his sleepy head to her chest while tears ran down her cheeks. I glanced over at Tora who was holding Jude, and noticed she was crying as well. We let Blair hold Holland until he cried out in hunger then Tora and Blair switched babies.
Jude settled right into Blair's arms and yawned wide, stretching his arms before finding sleep again. Her eyes met mine and I knew how she felt without saying a word. Her emotions were written clearly on her face: heartache, mourning for what could have been, acceptance that it’s the not the end and she could have more children, and joy at holding my son.
"You're a daddy, Parker. I'm so happy for you." Her bottom lip trembled.
I crouched down next the chair she was in. "Thank you for coming, B."
"I wouldn't miss it for the world."
"I know but..."
"I'm not going to lie and say it wasn't hard driving here, but I put one foot in front of the other and walked into this room full of love and happiness. You have everything you wanted, and I don't know anyone who deserves it more."
I leaned forward to hug her gently and not disturb Jude. "I love you, B."
"I love you, too."
After she left, I slid into bed next to Tora, while the boys slept in the bassinet, and held her as we both cried. The tears were sad for our friend and all she lost, then became happy for everything we had. We don’t take a moment of our luck at finding each other again or the joy of our sons for granted.
Holland stirs and lets out a whimper. Standing, I quickly change his diaper and lift him up, rocking him gently in my arms. His eyes flutter open and in them I see everything in front of me. My hope for him and his brother. The possibility of more children with Tora down the road. And most of all, a long and happy life with the only woman I've ever loved and the beautiful children we’ve created.
Epilogue
Fourteen Months Later
Astoria
"Are you sure you want to do this?" I ask Eve as we drop the boys off at her house.
"Oh, please. We got this. It's not like it's the first time we're watching them."
"I know but they are way more active now. You can't take your eyes off of them." As soon as the words leave my lips, I hear a high-pitched scream and turn to see Jude trying to chase Cy and Eve's Samoyed puppy around the living room. The white ball of fluff runs with lightning speed, but his little feet slide on the hardwood floor. Holland pops out from behind the couch and startles the poor thing. It takes off in the opposite direction. Cy comes running from the kitchen to chase all three of them as Parker laughs by my side.
"Best of luck, Eve. You're going to need it," he says chuckling.
She swats his arm. "Get out of here, you two. Go on your date. Have some kid-free fun."
We walk to the Rover and get inside. There are Cheerios on the floor in the back and sippy cups in the cup holders on their car seats. Parker's Range Rover is no longer as spotless as it used to be. In every corner of the front and back seats are reminders of the two boys who rule our lives.
Taking my hand, Parker drives us down the winding driveway. At the bottom, he stops and hands me a blindfold.
"What's this for?" I ask.
"I want it to be a surprise." He refuses to tell me where we’re going. All he would say is that I didn't need to dress up.
I slip the blindfold over my eyes. "If you're going to fuck me, you better make it good. You know I like to look into your eyes."
He laughs. "I'm not. Yet anyway. I think I'll bring the blindfold inside with us when we get home, however. All kinds of things are going through my head with how I can drive you wild not being able to see me." I sigh loudly, and he laughs. "We'll be there soon," he says. "You won't have to wear it for long."
Every twist and turn in the road has me tracking it in my mind, but I can’t keep up. I have no idea where we’re going. It's not long before Parker comes to a stop and shuts off the engine. He walks to my side and helps me out, while I leave the blindfold on. With his hand holding mine, I follow him, hoping not to trip as he leads me forward, stopping when he opens what sounds like a chain-link door. The kind you'd find on the outside of a tennis court.
After taking a few more steps, he stops us. "Take off the blindfold."
I lift it from my eyes and gasp in surprise. I turn to take it all in, reveling in the beauty of it all. We're on the basketball court where we first met, only it doesn't resemble what it once was. The chain-link high walls that surround it hold a thousand tiny white lights. In the center of the court is a big, white spray painted heart with AL + PM 4 Ever written in it. Rose petals are scattered around the heart and throughout the court. Then my eyes land on Parker as he kneels before me with a closed, black box in his hand.
"Tora, from the first moment I saw you, I knew you were special. You captivated me with your smile, and every day after I fell more in love with you. Our journey hasn't been easy, but every step we took brought us to where we are now. You’re more than the mother of my sons. You’re my best friend. My one true love. The person I want to grow old with. Astoria Livingston, will you marry me?"
He opens the box and reveals a large, square diamond, surrounded by smaller diamonds that continue part way around the band of the ring. It's stunning.
A tear slips down my cheek. "Yes."
He stands and shakily slips the ring onto my finger then smiles down at me for a moment before kissing me sweetly. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I take a moment to let the proposal settle over me. Parker’s words, what he did to the basketball court, the ring which now adorns my finger. I press a kiss to his lips, which quickly turns passionate. His arms slip around my back. He palms my ass, pressing me against his hardening length.
I moan, kissing him rougher for a moment before leaning back to stare into his eyes. "Should we take this back home? Celebrate in a very quiet, empty house?”
He kisses me again and murmurs against my lips. "I don't know if I can make it that long."
A thought dawns on us at the same time. "Rover,” we say in unison.
No matter how many times we're together, or what happens in our lives, one thing remains the same—the flame that burns between us doesn’t die down, and I hope it never will.
Keep reading for a preview of Cy and Eve’s story,
Where I End.
A Note from the Author
When I started writing this story, I wasn't sure where it would take me. I knew bits and pieces but not the full scope of what would happen. It wasn't an easy book to write. I cried with my characters. I felt their joy and pain. If you or someone you love is being abused, battling depression, anxiety, or any other mental health illness, please reach out for help. If you, or someone you love, is suicidal, please seek immediate help.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline
http://www.thehotline.org/
1-800-799-7233
RAINN
https://www.rainn.org/
1-800-656-4673
Anxiety and Depression Association of America
https://www.adaa.org/
Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (DBSA)
http://www.dbsalliance.org/
Preview: Where I End by Michelle Dare
Prologue
Six Years Ago
Eve
I hear him before I see him. He's walking up the hallway with his band of asshole friends. I close my locker and turn just as they walk by. They don't stop. Thank God. I merge into the flow of traffic, my best and only friend, Tasha, joining me. We're almost to class when he stops in the middle of the hallway, does a one-eighty, and faces me. Shit. I don't want to deal with him today. I was foolish to think I escaped him.
Everyone in the hall stops to watch. Their backs are pressed against their lockers, each getting a view of today’s entertainment. They always stop and observe anything he does. Hotshot, super wealthy, Cy Revere. All the guys want to be him, and all the girls want to do him.
"
Evie," he says, his eyes fixated on me. He’s the only one who calls me that. "I missed you yesterday. Will you be coming by tonight?"
"Not in your dreams, asshole,” I growl.
"How will your mom get home then? You have your family's only car, don't you? You drove it to school. I mean, no one can miss that red beast in the parking lot." His friends laugh, as do the others. Great. Just what I need—the whole school is making fun of me again. It’s bad enough my family doesn’t fit in since we aren’t made of money, but my car—my mom’s car—it draws attention on its own with its faded and chipped red paint, and the dent on the back hatch, thanks to my mom backing up one night and not seeing the tree behind her.
I give Cy the finger and try to brush past him, but he grips my elbow, not letting me by. I freeze. I hate it when he does this. It's almost a daily occurrence. He finds me at some point every day and makes a dick remark in front of everyone. Not even Tasha backs me up. Some friend she is. She secretly pines for his attention. She's never said as much, but I know. Your best friend always knows.
"Not so fast, Evie,” he says.
"My name is Eve, you asshole," I seethe.
His eyes bore into mine with a matching fire. It's equal hatred. I just can't understand why he chooses to pick on me. There are plenty of other kids in this school, yet I'm the object of his harassment. Not once has he singled out anyone else like he does me.
He leans forward and for a second I think he's going to kiss me, which makes zero sense. Like the dumbass I am, I lick my lips and focus on his. Sure, he's hot. Okay, he's fucking beautiful, with his black hair and eyes so blue they resemble a clear ocean. He knows it, too, and that's one of his problems. Cocky, rich boy. However, I’m no different than any girl in the school. Once you see him, there’s a part of you that wants him. I try to bury that part down deep, but every once in a while, it shows. Like right now.
My body tilts ever so slightly toward him. I want him to kiss me. My teenage hormones are going wild being this close to him. I can't help it. The only kiss I ever had was with an exchange student, freshman year. Once Cy saw my interest in him, he quickly recruited him to his group.
Where I Am Page 17