I grabbed Theo’s arm and hustled him out the front door. “You’re never going to believe this.”
I described my encounter with Veronica and explained my theory about Ms. Keeper being a serial killer.
“If that’s the case,” he said, “don’t go anywhere alone with her.”
“Theo! We still need to stop her.”
“Why us? Call the police.”
“Who are they going to believe? Me and my probational Bethany-hating history or a kindly member of our school’s staff? No. It’s up to us.”
“Whatever. First there’s somewhere I want to take you.” He swung around the side of the school.
“Where? There’s nothing out this way except the track.”
“And the creek.”
True. The creek was pretty small, even for a creek, but it babbled and flowed prettily. Occasionally, on hot days, students stomped through it to cool down, but generally it was deserted. Not deep enough to swim in. Or dangerous enough to drown in.
He stopped at the bank and pulled two small silver bracelets from his jacket pocket.
“What are those?” I asked. “And don’t just say ‘bracelets.’”
“These puppies will orient us back to the school when it’s time to leave.”
“Leave from where?”
“Hades,” he replied.
“Are you insane? Why?”
“I want to show you something that I think could help recover your memory.”
“Breaking and entering? In the Underworld?”
“And theft,” Theo added cheerfully.
“No way. I’m following the de-clutter approach to life,” I babbled. “Less is more.”
“It’s just because you don’t remember you want this. Trust me. You do.”
“No,” I hastily protested. “Unless you want me dead, in which case, no freaking way.”
“You’re not going to die. No one will even know you’re there. We’re going to sneak in.”
“You can’t sneak in.”
“Why not?” Theo refuted. “Suddenly you’re the big expert? People do it all the time.”
“Name three,” I demanded.
“Hercules, Psyche, and Orpheus. And me.”
“Name ten.”
He shot me an exasperated look. “We’ll be fine.”
“And by fine you mean ‘dead’? Hades wants to kill me. Generally, you don’t make it easy for the homicidal lunatic by going to the place where they are lord and master.”
“You have to go. There’s something you need to retrieve. It was a gift from your mother, and should be in your possession again.”
“I don’t care,” I lied. “Her parenting leaves a lot to be desired anyway.” I tried to keep my voice steady as I said, “Not like she’s bothered to come back for me.”
“No one knows where she is. I’m sure she’d come if she could. Which is why you need this. It’s all you have left of her.”
Damn him. I gave a tense nod.
“Relax.”
“How can I relax? You want me to go to Hell.”
“No, really,” he said. “You need to relax. This is going to hurt.” Theo slid one bracelet onto his wrist and the other onto mine. It had a reassuring solidity to it. He grabbed my hand and pulled us into the water.
I screamed as the bracelet twisted into my skin with what felt like a thousand tiny razor-sharp bites. Then something icy cold filled my body. It swirled and expanded within me. I couldn’t even catch a breath. This is it, I thought dully, I’m going to die.
Instead, the world shifted and I found myself on a grassless bank, staring at a gigantic river. Which didn’t rule out the being dead part, but did make it more watery than I’d anticipated. The sky above was dark but not like a picturesque inky night. More like every bit of light had been sucked out of it.
“Welcome to the Styx,” Theo commented dryly. “Our creek is a gateway to the Underworld, if you know how to get through.”
I was not amused. I couldn’t stop staring at this river which swirled in a corrosive blend of dark oranges and reds. “It looks like the stuff that melted Two-Face,” I whispered.
“That was a soothing facial. Trust me. You don’t want any part of it to touch you. Also, don’t eat anything. Don’t drink anything. Unless you want to be stuck here forever. Got it?”
“Got it. How can we even be here?” I asked, incredulous.
I could hear the smile in Theo’s voice as I stared, transfixed, at the River Styx. “Magic.”
“Like a transporter spell?” I took a couple of steps closer to the water, almost compelled by its sinister beauty.
“No. The creek is a gateway for appropriate people.”
“‘Appropriate’ meaning?”
“Dead,” he replied.
I narrowed my eyes and turned to him for the first time since we’d arrived. “Holy cow.”
“Yeah. We both look a little different.”
Different meaning gray and deceased. “I’m not breathing.”
“Perk of being dead?” He patted my arm. “No need. It’s part of the ‘death up close and personal’ experience.”
“Tell me this is reversible.”
“The water activated the bracelets. Soon as we go back, they deactivate. In theory.”
“Theo!”
“Kidding. You have to be dead to cross the river. So we’re in a simulated non-living state. Right now, you’re a run-of-the-mill, checked out cadaver. Should work enough to get us where we need to go.”
“Which is where?”
“The Palace. It was the last place you lived and where Hades kept this pendant he took from you. You need it back. Might help you remember. Alrighty. Get on.”
I glanced at where he was motioning and shook my head violently. “Absolutely, positively not.”
Floating before me was a massive raft. On it, a skinny, hunched old man, clad in a black robe, held a large paddling pole. His head was bowed. As the raft bumped gently against the shore, he raised his head. Whoops. Not a man. It was a demon, his ageless, soulless black eyes set in a leathery face with sharply pointed features and a smile like icicles. The big, pointy, dirty kind.
He stretched his back and I realized that he also had black wings folded along his shoulder blades. Judging by their collapsed size, they would be enormous if extended.
“I’m good,” I protested again as my treacherous feet headed toward the raft. “What the … ?”
“No choice, Magoo. Dead people have to cross. Don’t draw attention to us.”
“I don’t trust that thing’s boat safety skills.”
“It’s Charon. The ferryman. Been doing this for millennia.” Theo jumped aboard the raft.
Charon looked directly at me and I swore that he could see right through to my heart, which would have totally been racing had it actually been beating.
I meekly shuffled into the middle of the raft, careful to avoid his eyes.
“Easy peasy,” Theo enthused as we were bumped and jostled from all sides.
Carefully I raised my eyes to see that the raft was packed with people of all shapes, ages, and sizes. “They’re all dead, aren’t they?” I asked Theo, glumly.
“Great, isn’t it?” He turned to a stocky Japanese man next to him with a bullet wound visible through his head. “Bad business deal?”
“Yes,” the man grunted in broken English, “my marriage.”
“Who did you get these crackpot bracelets from, anyway?” I whispered.
He shrugged. “I still have my resources. I am a very well loved Titan.”
“Wouldn’t the correct form be ‘was a very well loved Titan’ since your boney human butt bears zero resemblance to anything ti
tanic at the moment?”
“You think busting my chops is in your best interests right now?” he chided.
Fine. I had bigger things to occupy me. Like terror. This wasn’t the smoothest ride. Apparently being dead didn’t earn you an easy passage. I sat paralyzed in the middle of the raft as the devil water sprayed and frothed around us.
On the plus side, the raft got a bit emptier as the occasional dead person got taken out by the River Styx.
I have no idea how long we were on the raft but it felt like forever before it stopped.
“Finally,” I exclaimed, ready to bound to shore.
Theo stopped me with a shake of his head. “Not here. This is Tartarus. For the evil doers. Going to be a lot of massive regret in about thirty seconds.
I was surprised when about half the figures on our raft disembarked. They’d seemed like such nice dead people. I craned my neck to take in the fence of bronze that stretched high and wide into infinity. “Doesn’t seem so bad.”
Then the cries started. It was the sound of a million souls damned into a frozen eternity. I flashed back to that place of dark terror I’d seen the night I kissed Kai. Tartarus. For some reason, I’d been behind that fence before.
The sounds overwhelmed me with despair. I sat down hard on the raft. All I wanted was to lay down and die. I started to fall back but before I could get anywhere, Theo grasped my arm, digging his fingers into it painfully. “Leave me alone,” I moaned.
“Fight it. Dead people have no emotions. If you cave, you’ll unbind to your true form and we’ll be killed. Come on,” he urged. “Neutralize the despair. Think of things you like. Chocolate, sarcasm, Hannah …”
I didn’t care. The raft pushed off again with a bump.
“Remember that time Bethany let you leave the bathroom with your skirt tucked into your underwear? Or when she loaned you her pen that leaked and you were covered in ink just in time for class photos?”
“This is your way of cheering me up?” Luckily, the farther away we got from Tartarus, the better I felt. “That was horrible.”
“Don’t worry. Our next stop will amaze.”
He was right. We were finally able to disembark at the foot of Hades’ palace, built entirely of dark green, marbled stone. While nothing bloomed in its gardens, the grounds were filled with statues and the bright moonlight cast a silvery glow over everything.
We wandered up a long stoney path toward the main doors, past a still pool, obsidian black, ringed with silver twisted trees. It was oddly calming. I remembered it as The Pool of Lethe. Hades had spirits drink from it when they had trouble accepting their new reality.
We rounded a corner and hit a crowded area. I tried not to gape. This was the ultimate in people watching. I scooted out of the way of a pair of old biddies, tottering on impossibly high heels, their hair teased and lips hideously overblown.
“Fashion victims,” Theo whispered. “Death by collagen injection.”
I muffled a laugh as we passed under a stone archway and approached a pair of ornately carved iron doors decorated with scenes of gods in battle.
“The war of the Titans,” Theo explained. He motioned to one panel which showed a god receiving a helmet from a Cyclops. “Hades getting the Cap of Invisibility. Droned on about that stupid hat for eons. Big deal. It’s not like it fit ‘ole One Eye.”
Theo gazed at the door a moment longer, a sad look on his face. I wondered if he was depicted on a panel. I would have asked him but he pivoted sharply and strode off.
I lingered, reaching out a finger to trace a detail. I could have examined the doors for hours. They were stunning and intricately crafted. But Theo had already gone inside, so I reluctantly tore my gaze away and hurried after him.
I found myself in a cavernous room. The walls were hewn from the same large blocks of green stone as outside. It was as vast as a football field and empty save for a large throne set on a base halfway across. Theo stood beside the throne, waiting for me.
I made my way across the slick, jet-black floor warily. The throne seemed to rise from the ground like an island from the sea. Cut from one giant block of obsidian, it stood thirty feet tall. Even getting to the foot of the throne from its base took about ten tremendous stairs. How large were these gods?
“Here’s the Cliff notes,” Theo began. “You know that Hades is Lord of the Underworld. He’s not the Christian interpretation of Satan. Not pure evil. Totally power-mad and arrogant, though, like his brothers. Hades is obsessed with gaining a bigger share than he got. And he’s raised junior to be the same.”
Some things were coming back to me. “Yeah. And Kai was getting tired of waiting for the throne. Hades always put him off, going on about how great Hades himself was, and how disappointing Kai was. Kai was going to do something about it.”
“Just Kai?” Theo countered.
I couldn’t answer him so I climbed the stairs at the base to examine the throne.
Kai and I stood on the base, having been summoned by Hades. The Lord of the Underworld lounged lazily on his throne, attended by an entourage of nymphs. In one fist he grasped a wineskin from which he drank greedily. His face, still handsome, showed the toll of his excessive pleasure taking.
“My son,” he boomed to his various sycophants. “Your next ruler of Hades.” He sneered. “A whelp enthralled by a slut of Zeus.”
I hated him. How could my father and mother have left me here? Why hadn’t they taken Kai and me away back up to Olympus?
“Better enthralled by a goddess then pawing desperately at any half-female, willing or not,” Kai shot back.
“I rue the day I sired you,” Hades glowered. He shifted, revealing a brilliant round sapphire set into the centre of the throne.
“Not more than I,” Kai retorted.
I snapped my head up. The gemstone was still there. I clambered up onto the seat.
The sapphire called to me. “Daughter of Demeter, born of Zeus,” I murmured. “My mom gave me this when I was born …”
“… And Hades took it away when he kidnapped you,” Theo finished.
I nodded. “No one besides than me can handle it, so Hades made me set it into the throne for him, just to rub it in. Then he cast some spell on the stone so that if anyone tried to steal it, he’d know.”
I shot a cocky grin at Theo. “Luckily, I figured that one out ages ago. He would have noticed if I kept it, but he couldn’t prevent me from holding it.” I was thrilled at how much was rushing back to me. “Hat tip to you, Theo, for bringing me back to this baby.”
“Pleasure’s all mine,” Theo replied.
I rubbed my hands together to warm them. The trick was to place my palm over the entire stone, binding the pendant to my skin. I sighed in delight as I felt it adhere. Then bit by painfully slow bit, I pulled my hand back, drawing the sapphire with it. It pulsed at my touch.
Finally, the pendant popped free. I held it up to the light. Only a couple inches in diameter and about the size of a small egg, it was finely etched. A tiny silver loop at the top could be used to thread a chain.
One etching showed a thunderbolt, the other a sheaf of wheat. The symbols of my two parents. I clasped it tightly in my palm. For not knowing it existed ten minutes ago, I was incredibly relieved to have the gem back in my possession.
“You really have to stop touching my things.”
The menace underneath that silky tone sent shivers down my spine. Hades. He may have been massive at twenty feet tall, but the past sixteen years hadn’t done him any favors. He appeared even more bloated and red-faced. His once jet black hair was now shot through with a lot of white. Even so, he exuded an enormous amount of charisma. There was something incredibly compelling about the god, despite his scariness. Probably where his son got it.
I straightened my shoulders, my h
ead held high, trying not to feel like an ant before an elephant. “How did you know I was here?”
“As if I wouldn’t know what was going on in my realm? The second you removed the gem, you triggered an alarm.”
Theo shot me an “I thought you knew what you were doing” look.
Hades smiled. Not kindly. “Hello, Prometheus.”
“Wasn’t sure you’d recognize me,” Theo said.
“Who else would accompany our Persephone? But don’t blame her. The moment I discovered she’d been murdered, I changed the spell on the stone.” He sighed as if weary. “I’m not surprised. She was too irritating to truly be dead.”
“Now what, Hades?” Theo sounded bored. “Torture? Fiery death?”
I elbowed him. Why give Hades ideas?
“Wine.”
Not the answer I’d been expecting.
Hades plucked me off his throne and ushered us around to the back of it. I thought his touch would be scaly, cold, and evil. Not so. His meaty fingers were surprisingly smooth and warm. I guess he didn’t do a lot of manual labor. He placed his hands on the base, splayed his fingers and pushed.
I gasped as a huge block of stone swung open to reveal a door in the base.
Hades manhandled us through.
I felt a moment of fear as the door silently swung closed again, blocking us in, but curiosity got the better of me.
As black as the outside of the base had been, the inside radiated a warm gold. Because it was gold. I whistled. A hallway led off the room. I could see far enough into it to know that it sloped steeply. It must have led under the floor of the throne room.
I glanced up at the ceiling to see if it was gold as well—which it was—but was distracted by a black iron chandelier. I knew that lighting fixture. “Oh!” I inhaled sharply. “That light. I stared at it … after …” A flood of images assaulted me, none of them pleasant. I grasped my sides reliving the agony of my murder once again.
“It’s just a memory,” Theo soothed. “It can’t hurt you.”
My Ex From Hell (The Blooming Goddess Trilogy) Page 11