by J. Saman
“You really don’t shut up, do you?”
“That’s what you just took from everything I said?”
“Was there more to it than just rambling? I mean, did you tell me shit I didn’t already know?”
“Screw you.” She flips me off, but smiles as she does it.
“Cool your twisted knickers over there, Secret Keeper Emo Barbie. I’ll figure something out.”
“Secret Keeper Emo Barbie?”
“No good?”
“Utter rubbish.”
“Huh.” I rub my chin in contemplation. “I’ll have to think of something better. Right now you’re too much of a contradiction for me to come up with something more befitting a woman of your caliber.”
“You do that, cupcake. In the meantime, I need more booze. My liver is going to shrivel up and implode if I don’t feed it properly.”
“Isn’t it the other way around?”
Sophia shakes her head, her blond rolled curls bouncing. “No, Ivy informs that when you have liver disease related to too much alcohol consumption your liver becomes huge and hard.”
“You need help. Seriously. How on earth are you related to Ivy?”
“Brilliant genetics, Luke. Brilliant fucking genetics,” she winks at me. “Kisses,” she sings as she walks off toward the collection of Australian wine that’s assembled on Ivy’s kitchen island. I’m smiling like a son of a bitch. I think I love Ivy’s sister just as much as she does.
But her insistence on me coming clean is causing a sick knot to form in the pit of my stomach.
I can’t do that.
There really is just no way.
Chapter 17
Ivy
“All clinical indications point toward appendicitis,” I tell the parents of the eight-year-old little girl who is lying on the gurney in the emergency department looking miserable. Poor lamb. “I’d like to get a CT scan to confirm this and see how far along she is with it. Depending on how inflamed the appendix is, we might be able to give her antibiotics and avoid surgery.”
“Is that safe?” her mother asks, looking exhausted. I can’t blame her, it’s seven-thirty in the morning and they’ve been here for the last three hours.
“It is, but as I said, it depends on how far along she is with it. From what I can tell given her history and exam, she’s pretty inflamed. She has a lot of generalized abdominal pain and positive rebound tenderness in her lower right quadrant. We’ll know more after we get a better look at it on the scan. I’m going to place the order for that now, and Doctor Schwartz will be taking over for surgical service. He’s excellent, so you’re in good hands.”
“You won’t be doing the medication or surgery or whatever?” the father asks.
“No, sorry. I’ve been on all night and Doctor Schwartz is the surgeon. It’s always better to have a fresh pair of eyes. If he determines that Michelle needs surgery, which I’m afraid she probably will, he’s one of the best.”
Both parents sigh out simultaneously. “Okay. Thanks,” the mom says weakly.
“Hang in there, Michelle. I’ll see if they can give you something for the pain.” She offers me a tight half-smile, half-grimace and I walk out of the room, texting Schwartz as I move toward the nurse’s station.
I’m ready to go home. This night was brutal.
Three traumas back to back and one of them was a gun-shot wound that took the better part of two hours to stabilize before we could even move him up to the OR.
That and I had a child that I suspected was being abused.
Those cases shake me to my core. It was a three-year-old boy with a broken arm and large bruises on his abdomen and flank that were indicative of being repeatedly kicked. We managed to separate the child from his parents and he’s now in the hands of social services, but still. Those are the types of stories that have me boozing on Manhattans.
“You heading out?” Kate calls to me as I type in the order for the CT scan and morphine for Michelle.
“Yeah.” I rub my bleary eyes with the backs of my hands. “I’m knackered. I just have to finish up. You?”
Kate looks equally worn. The ICU got slammed last night and are just now catching up.
“Heading home as we speak. I’m hoping to catch Ryan before he leaves for work.” I smile at that. In the weeks that Luke and I have been “having fun”, we’ve spent a lot of time Kate and Ryan. The three of them together are something rare and special. You don’t often see friendships like that.
“Tell him I say hi.” I smile and she throws me a wave and a wink before briskly walking toward the exit.
Cold air brushes across the back of my neck and I rub it away as I finish typing out my note on Michelle. More cold air, but it feels like someone is blowing on me instead of just passing by, so I turn and find Craig Stanton grinning at me in that buoyant way of his and looking far too good for this hour.
Why is he blowing on my neck?
“Morning, Craig. You coming or going?”
“Isn’t that my line?”
I scrunch my eyebrows at him. “Pardon?”
He waves me away. “Nothing, just trying to be crass.”
“Oh.” I roll my eyes. “There’s a worthy goal.”
“I’m heading out. I was on all night as well.” He’s smiling at me with his pearly—probably cosmetically whitened—teeth and charming smile. I haven’t seen much of Craig in the last couple of days, which is not exactly something I’m complaining about. He’s nice enough, I guess, just a little too persistent for my liking.
“Have a good day.” I smile slimly and turn back to my computer.
“You interested in grabbing breakfast with me? There’s a case I wanted to speak with you about.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah. Hypoplastic left heart syndrome that was just born last night.”
That gets my attention. “Really? Wow.”
He nods with an excited grin.
Don’t get me wrong, we’re not excited over sick kids or patients, but we are excited over the challenge, the rarity of the case, and the ability to fix the problem. It’s what we live and breathe and slave away for.
“I was hoping you’d want in on the surgery.”
“Me?” I’m shocked. “I’m ED, not surgery or cardio.”
“I know that, but I’ve seen your work, and it’s a rare case. I thought you might like to watch, or whatever.”
Why does it feel like he’s asking me out on a date? Is it the way he’s propositioning me? Or maybe I’m overthinking this.
“I’d love to Craig. When were you thinking of doing the surgery?”
“Are you done here? I’d like to talk more about it and I’m starving.”
“Oh, um.” How can I say no to that? He wants to talk surgery, and colleagues catch a meal to discuss a patient all the time. “Sure, but can we not go to the cafeteria? That place is feral.”
Craig laughs, brushing his hand against my shoulder for absolutely no reason that I can discern. “There is a really good place close to here. I’ll just wait while you finish up.”
Ten minutes later, Craig and I are walking out into the bright morning sun, which is finally feeling more seasonably warm. We’re headed in the direction of Lake Washington when I hear my name being called. I don’t react because it wasn’t loud, and I haven’t slept. I’m probably just hearing things, but when I hear it again only more emphatically, I turn around to find Luke jogging toward us with a stoic mask on his face.
“Hey, I was calling you. Didn’t you hear me?” he asks once he catches up to us and places a kiss on my cheek.
“No. Sorry,” I smile. “What are you doing here? I thought we were going to try for a late lunch.”
He looks over at Craig for a beat before turning his attention back to me. “I know, but I wanted to catch you after your shift.”
“Everything okay?”
“Yeah, um.” Luke shifts and looks at Craig again. “Did I interrupt something here?”
Craig and
I both speak at the same time, only he says “yes” and I say “no” and now it’s just awkward.
“We were actually going out for breakfast,” Craig says, looking as cheerful as ever.
“You were going to have breakfast with him?” Luke asks in a tone I can’t distinguish. Is he mad or put off by this?
“Yes, Craig wanted to discuss a patient with me.” I tilt my head trying to figure this out.
“And you can’t do that at the hospital?”
I glance over to Craig who is smiling smugly. I don’t like this. Not one bit.
“We’re hungry. We just got off a long, grueling shift, and the thought of rank hospital food is not appealing.”
“Right,” Luke says. I still can’t tell what he’s thinking, though he’s definitely taken a very deliberate and possessive step in my direction.
“Ivy, we should get going so we can eat and get some sleep,” Craig says, grasping my elbow. Luke’s eyes ignite and I can see where this is headed.
“I’m the only one sleeping with Ivy.”
“Hey now.” I step toward Luke, as Craig maintains his hold on me. “That’s not called for. It’s a working breakfast, Luke. Like you’ve never had those before? Come on. This doesn’t have to turn into something.”
“Ivy,” Luke snarls, pointing an aggressive finger in Craig’s direction. “He wants to sleep with you. You may think this is a working breakfast and all professional and shit, but both Craig and I know better.”
I look to Craig who still has that damn shit-eating grin on his face, and now I’m just getting annoyed with both of them.
“Well, I’m not interested in playing this game with either of you. If you want to hash it out, then have at it, but I’m tired and hungry. I want to eat so I can go get a few hours of rest before I have to return to the hospital for another shift.” My voice ends on a high note as I yank my arm out of Craig’s grasp, storming away from both of them.
I hear the two of them chatting behind me, but don’t even bother trying to listen. Frankly, I don’t care enough.
Craig never mentioned where he was taking me for breakfast, but I find myself standing in front of a posh boutique hotel with both Craig and Luke hot on my heels.
Was he taking me to a hotel for breakfast?
That’s sort of odd isn’t it? Maybe Luke was right?
“Ivy, can I speak to you for a minute?” Luke asks, glowering at Craig with narrowed eyes. “Alone?”
“Of course,” I turn to Craig. “Is this where we’re eating?”
“Yes. Best breakfast ever.” He crosses his arms over his chest with a satisfied look.
“Okay, I’ll be right back. I’ll just meet you inside.”
“I’ll get us a table.”
Luke gives Craig a once-over before extending his hand to him, which makes me smile.
“I’ll see you later, man,” Craig says.
“Later.” Luke shakes his hand firmly and then Craig leaves Luke and I standing alone in the middle of the sidewalk. “I don’t like you eating with him in a hotel.”
I sigh, far too exhausted to do battle over this, so instead I circle my arms around his waist because he feels good. He always feels so good.
“I know, but it’s really just for work. I didn’t know he was taking me here.”
Luke folds me into his body as he buries his nose in my hair taking a deep breath the way he always does when he hugs me. “You smell like the hospital,” he chuckles. “You still smell like you, but you also smell like that.”
“I won’t take it personally.”
“Ivy, I don’t want to leave you here with him.”
I peek up at him with a soft smile. “You and I are sleeping together,” I raise a challenging eyebrow at him, “so it’s not like I’m going to sleep with him.”
“Okay, I deserve that look. I’m sorry for saying that to him. I was taken by surprise, is all.” He leans down and presses his lips to mine. “I’ve never been jealous in my life. This is uncharted waters for me. That, and you look unfathomably hot and sexy in your scrubs.” I laugh, rubbing my chin against his chest. “No, I’m serious. You really freaking do. If I didn’t have a plane to catch, I’d try and talk you into getting a room here.”
“Such a perv.”
“I’m your perv, and I think you like me that way.”
I kiss his warm soft lips. “I do, it’s sort of endearing in an odd way. Hey wait,” I stand up to my full height with a look of censure. “What do you mean you have a plane to catch? I thought we were having a late lunch? You never said anything about leaving on a trip.”
“I know.” Luke’s expression turns somber and severe. “But I got a call and I have to go on a . . . business trip. It’s just for a couple of days at most.”
“Can’t someone else go? I mean, I’m leaving soon.”
He looks miserable and I feel bad for asking. “It has to be me.”
“Oh, okay.” I try to hide my disappointment. I only have a few days left. “Where are you going?”
He glances away from me, out into the street.
“New York.”
It almost sounds like he’s lying. That’s my first instinct, but it’s an odd one to have. Why on earth would he lie about where he’s going on business? Especially when it’s so easy to confirm with Kate, Ryan, and Claire.
I’m sure I’m just tired.
He shifts back to me.
“That’s why I wanted to come and see you this morning. I won’t be landing until late tonight, and you’ll already be at work then, so this was my only chance to talk to you.”
“It’s fine, I’ll see you when you get back.” I kiss him and he returns it, but it feels off.
He’s distant, and maybe it’s just because he has this sudden trip and he’s preoccupied about it and Craig and whatever else, but it almost feels like goodbye. Like a real goodbye, except I don’t actually think it is. Not yet anyway.
I can’t describe it.
“Yeah, I should go. I have to pack and get my stuff and head to the airport.” He envelops me in his arms again. “I’m going to miss you, baby. I wish I didn’t have to go, but I don’t have a choice.”
“Me too. Call or text me when you land, even if I don’t respond.”
“Will do.” He kisses me good, long and hard and this kiss feels more the way it should.
More the way his other kisses have always felt.
Like a magic spark inside your chest that spreads throughout your entire body, filling you with the most delicious tingles. Like fire and heat and bewitchment. Like the best kiss you’ve ever had times ten.
And this isn’t even his A-game.
“Now go have breakfast with the douchebag and then get some sleep. I’ll call you.” He kisses me again and then walks off, leaving me alone, bereft and empty.
How’d it get like this so fast?
It’s only been a few weeks.
I walk into the swanky black and white lobby and immediately spot the restaurant just off to the right. Sure enough, there are an abundance of people eating breakfast even though it’s a workday. Craig is in the back by the window and when he spots me, he flags me over.
“Hey, sorry that took so long.”
“So, are you two a couple now?” he asks far too casually as he peruses the menu, never once looking in my direction.
“I don’t know what we are actually. We haven’t exactly put a label on anything.” That, and I don’t want to tell you it’s just sex. Or that I’m in love with him.
He sets the menu down on top of his place setting, leveling me with the full weight of his hazel eyes.
“Huh. But yet you’re here with me.”
“This isn’t a date, Craig. It’s breakfast to talk about a patient.” Now it’s my turn to make a show of looking over the menu, simply because I’m finding it difficult to maintain eye contact with him.
He’s not intimidating me on purpose, it’s just that I get a bizarre feeling when I look at him too long
. I wouldn’t say I’m uncomfortable, but there’s just more to that look than simple friendship, and no matter how hard I protest it, we have a certain chemistry together.
“True, and we are going to discuss the surgery because I would like you there in the OR with me, so I’m just going to say this once and then it will be out there and you can do what you want with it.”
I set my menu down, folding my hand on top of it, trying to appear unaffected though I’m anything but. His words coupled with the tone of his voice sets me on edge.
“I doubt you’ve heard, because it was just finalized the other day, but I was offered a surgical fellowship at Boston Children’s.” My mouth pops open as my eyes bug out of my head.
Craig smiles at my reaction, leaning closer to me, ever so slightly crowding my personal space.
“It seems I’m coming with you. And you should know that I like you, Ivy. I know I have a bad reputation at the hospital. Some of it is deserved and some of it isn’t, but it’s not like that with you. I think we’d make a good team together. We understand the demands of our work, and we have similar interests. I respect the hell out of you, and think you’re exceedingly beautiful and brilliant and talented. When you tire of Luke the child, we can try something real.”
I think I just stopped breathing.
“Wow, Craig, I had no idea you felt that way. I, um . . .” I laugh uncomfortably. “I don’t really know what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything about it right now. I don’t like to share and I definitely don’t want to share you with anyone, let alone Luke Walker. So I’ll wait. I’m going to Boston with you and he’s not, so when you’re ready, let me know.”
Jesus, the way he’s looking at me. It’s the kind of look you feel everywhere whether you want to or not.
Mercifully, our waiter interrupts our far too intimate and intense moment, and we order our food. Our conversation turns back to work, and all that other business is pushed aside. We talk and laugh and he tells me things and I do the same.
And worst of all, I enjoy it.
Chapter 18
Ivy
It’s been two days since Luke left, and though he did ring when he landed and then again the following afternoon, I haven’t spoken to him. Either I wasn’t available when he phoned, or he wasn’t available when I did. I’ve texted a few times only to either not receive any response or get one back saying that he couldn’t chat.