By the time we were done with dinner my alarm rang, it was time to call Gabe so I could say goodnight to Harper and Finn via FaceTime. They were happy, tired, and ready to sleep. Tomorrow they’ll arrive at noon. Once I put the phone down, I look up at Porter’s handsome face. His eyes are sparkling with happiness.
“Penny for your thoughts?” I offer, reaching over the table and placing a hand on top of his.
Porter lifts his gaze from the candle and looks at me. “Just thinking about how much you’ve changed my life,” he says, with a hint of nostalgia. “A year ago I had no idea how to turn my life around. That day when you knocked at my door, something clicked. I found myself doing more than just working a mindless-dead-end job. Meeting you and the kids made me realize that there was more to life than what I was doing. You three are the spark that ignited the flame and became my reason to become a better person.”
He sighs and looks at me again.
“In this short period I fell in love, found my way back to my family, and now we’re planning on a future. Our future.”
He turns his hand over and places his other hand on top of mine. We remain silent for a few seconds, our gazes locked. I see it. The reflection of my soul within his. We’re kindred spirits. Two broken people who found each other. He helped me find the broken pieces of my soul and stayed by my side while I put them back together.
“If I try to kiss you tonight?” He breaks the silence. “Would you let me?”
I bob my head in slow motion, wondering how far I’d let him go.
“If I try to touch you?” My heart drops into the pit of my stomach at the lustful look in his eyes. “Because I want to, Mac, but I don’t want to push you if you’re not ready.”
Regret from the last time flashes in front of me. I squeeze my eyes shut trying to erase that night from my mind. As ugly as it was, he moved something inside of me that made me push myself further into finding a new me.
“My only regret from that night is the way I treated you,” I say, opening my eyes. He’s looking at me cautiously. His hand squeezing me gently, lovingly. “It wouldn’t be fair to you, Leo, or to myself to explain what I felt or needed that night. But know that I am sorry for hurting you.”
I take a drink of water, rise from my seat and walk to where he sits. Pulling him out of his chair, we find each other toe-to-toe. I wrap my arms around his neck, stretching myself enough to reach to his lips, kissing them.
“Tonight I want to be in your arms, to become an extension of your soul.” I smile at him moving my hands along his neck, holding his square jaw. “So to answer your question—if you try to touch me, I’ll let you.”
My hands slide down his neck, traveling to his arms, and touching his chest. “But I’m ready for more. More than just a kiss, or a caress. I’m ready for us to become one.”
Porter’s hands reach the hem of my top. His calloused fingers touch my bare skin. He dips his face, kissing my neck. “You’re full of surprises, Mackenzie Brooke. Amazing, sweet, surprises.” His lips meet mine as our kiss begins slow and sweet, but as our heartbeats increase, so does the speed.
“My room,” he gasps, breaking the kiss and leading me to the second door down the hall.
“Fuck, you’re gorgeous,” he says, as he pulls the top off me.
I unbutton his shirt, leaving it open. My eyes move to his sculpted-inked chest. My hands trace the lines of the dragon tattoo. Helping shrug off his shirt, I continue to trace his back and the rest of the design.
“You’re perfect.” I plant small kisses on his back.
“Mac,” he whispers as I reach for the top of his slacks and I unbuckle the belt.
One hand captures my waist, while the other tangles through my hair, clutching my neck. He leans closer to me, capturing my lips. He groans, sliding his hands across my torso, finding the clasp of my bra and undoing it. Pushing my skirt down over my hips, he walks me backwards until my legs hit the bed.
“You undo me, babe,” he says in a low, gruff voice. His hooded eyes gazing at me. “On the bed,” he orders, and with a light push, he sits me on the edge.
Stepping backwards, he licks his lips. His hands move to the front of his slacks, and with a couple of movements, he’s sliding them down. The muscles in his stomach contract as he bends, his biceps flexing with every move. The sight of him is beautiful. When he joins me in bed, he moves me to the middle, laying me on my back.
Kneeling between my legs, he gazes at me. “I’ve never seen something more beautiful in my life.”
And I believe him, because I’ve never felt as beautiful or as loved, as I’m feeling right now. It’s the way he looks at me; the way he touches me. Lowering his body down, his mouth moves to my breasts. He glides his tongue over my nipple, then closes his mouth over it, sucking it into his mouth. Then, he repeats the process with the other nipple. I grasp the bed covers as my body ignites.
His tongue traces a trail that begins on my chest and stops right at my pelvis. Then, he continues kissing his way down lower. I inhale sharply the moment his mouth closes over my clit. His tongue lashes against it and then he pushes two fingers inside me. My back arches at the same time I cry out his name. “Porter!” He devours me sending me higher and higher. I’m tugging his hair, rocking my hips against him until a powerful orgasm rips through my body.
“Mac,” He whispers. I pull him closer; he comes to me without protest. His eyes looking into mine. Not sure what he’s searching for but I feel completely exposed. “I don’t want anything between us. I’m clean, but do I need a condom?”
I shake my head, with my hands around his neck I pull him down for a kiss. As our mouths touch, he pushes himself forward, filling me completely.
“This feels so fucking good,” he says, breaking the kiss, withdrawing just a bit. Our eyes connect again. “Don’t close your eyes.”
His thrusts are slow, deep. He pulls out the same way, then pushes himself back in even deeper, his pelvis grinding against my tight bud. Every time he slides back in, I shudder with pleasure. As my body heats, our bodies move faster. My hips meet his with each thrust, my body aching for the release. My inner muscles begin to clench and with one last hard thrust from Porter, I come undone.
“I love you,” I murmur.
Porter shakes on top of me, letting out a big groan. Our eyes never losing the connection. “I love you too, Mac.”
He lowers his body, hugging me tightly, and I can hear it. His heart beating along with mine. Porter’s ear is on my chest, “Listen. It’s like our hearts have become one.”
I couldn’t sleep all night. The first hour I watched Mac sleep in my arms. The next hour I wondered when I’d wake up from the best dream I’ve ever had in my entire life. That’s when she woke up and we made love a second time, convincing me that she was real and that she’s mine. As she fell back to sleep, I stayed up thinking about our future. Wondering when I can ask her to marry me, discuss our family, and how soon can we move in together?
“Morning,” I greet her when she opens her eyes.
She smiles. “So this is what it’s like to wake up next to Porter Kendrick.” I give her a confused look. “Every morning since I met you, I’ve wondered what it would be like to wake up next to you nestled in those strong arms.”
“Is it everything you imagined?” I kiss the top of her head. “Because waking up with you in my arms happens to be a dream of mine and it exceeds every fantasy I had.”
“Better than I imagined. I could do this forever; in fact, I don’t know how I’ll survive without them after today.”
“You don’t have to live without them,” I hint and in return, I only get a frown. “You just need to wish for it.”
“It’s not that simple. There’s a world of difference between what I desire, and reality. But we can find ways to do this often.”
Her words are like music to my heart, the answer to what I’ve been wondering all night. Because after the earth-shattering night we experienced, I can’t imagine
not having her in my bed, in my arms, and next to my heart every night.
“Marry me,” I blurt out, hugging her tight. Then climbing out of the bed, I look for the engagement ring I picked up from the jeweler last week. Going down on one knee, I take the leap. “Mackenzie Brooke, would you please do me the honor of becoming my beloved wife? The woman who would walk by my side supporting me, as I support you. Be my companion, my lover, my friend, and the person I seek when I need to share the good news and the bad news and everything in between. Let me share your joy and take away the sadness. Be my wife because I can’t imagine my life without you by my side.”
Her eyes open wide, looking at the ring. She’s silent, as tears start peeking out of her beautiful eyes.
My heart drops to the floor. “We don’t have to . . . please, don’t cry. I never meant to hurt you, overstep, or . . . forget—”
She gets out of bed, going down on both knees and taking my hands. “Your words didn’t hurt me, Porter. These are tears of joy. You’ve always been gentle, understanding, and loving with me, and my kids. And after everything I’ve put you through, you still love me. Not only that, you want to marry me. The answer is yes. I want to be your wife, share everything with you. The good, the messy—all of it, because at the end of the day we’ll make it better, together.”
I pull her to me kissing her like I’ve never kissed anyone before, loving her like I’ll only love her. Trying to share with her my every thought, my every heartbeat, my entire soul.
“I’m forever yours, Mackenzie.”
After a morning of celebrations, house hunting, and a long discussion about how to handle the kids, Mac and I went to pick up Harper and Finn from Chris and Gabe’s place. Afterwards, we drove about an hour outside of downtown Seattle.
We found the perfect house.
Our dream home.
Once we drive by the open gate, where the big sign reads Evergreen Farms, Harper begins to ask questions, “Where are we going? Are we getting a new tree, a horse?”
There’s a for sale sign and the only thing we can see are pine trees, a small lake, and green land. Harper quiets down and I spot her from the rear view mirror looking out the window.
The moment I spot an alpaca, I hear Finn. “Porter, moo.”
“No, Finn, that’s an alpaca” I correct him. “What sound do alpacas make?”
“I think they make some sort of humming noise,” Mac answers. “I need to find out more about them if we’re planning on owning them.”
I park in front of a beautiful two-story house and turn my attention toward Mac. “Ready?”
She nods and we climb out of the truck. I don’t have to give any specifics to the kids. I’m sure they don’t care about the size of the property, or that it’s a Christmas tree farm. Those are details Mac found important, as important as the greenhouse and the seven bedrooms in the main house that was built only five years ago.
“Why are we here?” Harper asks again, walking closer to Mac. Finn stretches his arms out and I pick him up right away.
“To look at the house,” Mac announces. I grab her delicate hand and the four of us walk inside the empty house. “Maybe talk about the possibilities of moving here.”
Harper frowns, the same way her mother does when she’s in deep thought. “I like where we live. It’s close to your work, Mom. There’s a park nearby, and the academy where I take my dance lessons. I don’t want to move ever again.”
“Someone once taught me that never and ever should be used with caution. They are words that mean forever.” She gasps as we climb up the stairs. We stop right on top of the stairs; I point to the left where the row of bedrooms starts. “If we stay where you live, I won’t be able to fit my things.” Her eyes narrow and her lips twist to the side.
“We couldn’t have a pet,” Mac adds. “There’s plenty of room here to have more than one.”
“How about a little sister?” Harper asks, looking from Mac to me. “If we move, can I have one?”
“There’s a possibility of adding one or two siblings, but I can’t guarantee if they’ll be girls,” Mac says.
Inhaling, I set Finn on the floor next to Harper and kneel in front of them to be at eye level. “Harper, Finn, I love you two very much. As much as I love your mom. The three of you mean everything to me. And, if you let me, I’d like to be part of your family. If you do, I promise to always love you, protect you, be a father figure, a friend, and always support you no matter what happens in life.”
“You want to be my dad?” Harper’s bottom lip trembles, her eyes shine as they fill with moisture. I nod. “Are you staying with us forever?”
“I’ll try my best, Harp. For you three, I promise to take care of myself and be by your side for a long, long time.”
Harper’s arms hug my neck tightly. “I love you,” she murmurs between sobs.
As Finns arms wrap around me too, I can’t help but let the tears flow. After all the loss I’ve experienced since I was a kid, I finally found my place in this world.
Today was a busy day at the recording company, having to produce an entire record within a week takes a lot of my energy. It was good, though, we’re ready to release it, and this new band will be playing at Thrice on Saturday night. This is the third project Jacob and I finished from the reality show that Matthew created a couple of years back. Today is one of those days I’m grateful for my life. I have a great job and a loving family. As I enter the house, the sweet smell of cookies hits me. Sugar cookies, my favorite.
“Daddy,” I hear before Finn, my seven-year son, reaches me. I hug him tightly, happy to see him and thankful that I had another day to enjoy him. Each day I’m thankful for that, because things change so fast.
“Where’s Emmerson?” I ask Finn who shrugs.
Usually, my two-year-old follows her brother everywhere.
“Dad,” Harper greets me with that new cool voice she’s experimenting with. “You’re a few minutes early.”
“Or you forgot to set the table?”
“That too.” She marches to me and hugs me. “How was work?”
“I thought I heard the door. Welcome home, handsome.” Before I answer Harper, Mac appears with Emmerson in her arms and her beautiful round belly showing with our other little bundle of joy. A boy, Oliver. Em extends her chubby arms toward me and I pull her tightly to my chest, kissing my wife.
As the entire family gathers in one room, I look at them and remind myself how lucky I am. Thankful that I was able to find my way into the light and that Mac and I crossed paths. It’s been a hard journey. We met when she was grieving the loss of her husband and when I was still closed off to the world. Our two broken souls found each other in the dark and began to heal each other’s wounds.
That doesn’t mean that we’re completely healed. I struggled with my demons, but I work hard to keep them at bay. With the help of my counselor, I remain clean and focused on my goals. Mac is my rock. The woman believes in me and sees who I really am and who I want to be. She’s my companion and now thrives as a mother and a botanist. She grows different crops and sells it to a local organic grocery store.
We created a dream together and we work to make it a reality every day.
Life is fragile. One moment we’re enjoying a nice dinner with friends, the next week one of us is dead. Well, I’m not. But Peter, the bassist of my old band, Dreadful Souls, died yesterday night. Really fucked up, as we had lunch only days ago in California. Today I receive a message from his daughter announcing that he passed away last night from a heart attack.
“Are you okay, babe?” Gabe hugs me from the back, his hands resting on my chest. “I should have kept all the electronics away. At least for today.”
“My band is dead,” I blurt, wanting to laugh and cry. We were four friends with nothing. Stupid kids who gambled with our music and hit the jackpot. In only months, we climbed the billboard charts. Our first single was on top for weeks and we became famous. Things ended on a shitty note betwee
n us, but we shared a lot for several years. It makes me sad and makes me think about my own mortality. How much time do I have left? “Literally. I’m the last man standing.”
“Because you were the only one who grew up, babe,” he says, kissing my neck. “You found a different passion and you’ve always said it: you’re a Decker. Deckers can take almost anything.
“You became my passion.” I turn around to kiss him.
“AJ called, she wants some help with the grandkids.”
I laugh. “We both know why they want me over. I’m going to walk into the house and everyone is going to scream ‘surprise’ give me some credit, college boy.”
His smile stretches, shaking his head. “Can you pretend to be surprised?” He kisses my forehead and I can’t believe we remain together after all these years. He might have a few wrinkles, but he’s still the same pretty, college boy I fell in love with. “They’re trying to make your birthday special.”
“Yes, I can act surprised,” I agree, walking to the backyard through my office’s back door. “Though, since they came into our life, they’ve been making it special every day. Is it only the kids, or did they invite friends?”
“Only my parents, our four children, and their families. Yesterday was the big bash with friends and family.”
Last night the boys organized a concert at Thrice. Decker’s band played a few songs. Porter joined us for the first time on stage. A few of my musician friends played some of my old songs to pay tribute to me and celebrate my big day. It was a cool night. A nice birthday present from my family. The only downside is that none of my little ones could be there. My grandchildren had to stay behind. The oldest is ten and the youngest is only three weeks old. I guess today is when I get to enjoy them.
“Surprise!” everyone shouts when I slide the patio door open. As they sing happy birthday, AJ, Jacob, and Matt stand in front of everyone, holding a cake that says Happy Birthday Papa Chris.
Undefeated (Unexpected Book 5) Page 23