by HJ Bellus
I have no idea how long I’ve slept, before I feel an eyelid being peeled open.
“Hunter.”
Then my other eyelid pulls open.
“Hunter, are you awake?”
It takes me a long time to naturally pry open my eyes, but I finally do. I come face to face with Baker’s crazy bed hair and dimples.
“You’s awake!” She claps her hands together then cups my cheeks.
I slowly turn my head to the side to see Teale is still dead to the world. I bring my finger to mouth telling Baker to be quiet. Then I gently ease her out of the bed setting her on her feet. I grab her hand and then guide her out of the room shutting the door behind us.
“How about we let your momma sleep?” I wink down at her.
Baker nods her head with gusto. “Yes, because she’s wild bear in the morning when I don’t let her sleep in.”
I bite down on my bottom lip controlling my laughter, knowing all too well Teale is not a morning person.
“What do you want for breakfast?” I ask, picking her up and packing her to the kitchen.
“Waffles,” she sings out in her best Donkey voice.
I can manage that. I set her on the counter while pulling out all the ingredients. Baker is non-stop chatter telling me the steps in depth. By the time we have the first scoop of batter in the waffle maker, Baker is covered in waffle batter. She’s a complete mess.
“You know what, Hunter?”
I pry my gaze from the waffle maker over to her. “What’s that, squirt?”
She squeezes her little eyes shut then blurts out, “I love you.”
Those three words from the most honest person I’ve ever met, nearly knock me on my ass. I swallow and try to find the words to reply to her. This little person has no ulterior motives to love me, it’s spun from raw honesty. My whole world just came together. I thought this little person had shattered it the day she came running to the shop, but I was so very wrong.
I take a step near her. “Open your eyes, Baker.”
I watch as she slowly listens to me and pops her eyes open stabbing me with beautiful aqua eyes. “You let me into your world, Baker. You invited me to your birthday party, when you barely knew me. You make me laugh every single day, and also believe in the right in this world.”
She interrupts me growing restless with my explanation. “So, do you love me too?”
This time I’m unable to stifle my laughter and let it out. “Yes, that means that I love you.”
“Like you love my Momma? I hear you tell her all the time.”
“No.” I shake my head. “I love you more.”
I wink at her. “But don’t tell her that.”
Baker jumps up on the counter, then throws her arms wide open and leaps into my chest. It scares the shit out of me since she just bounded off the counter, but I catch her with grace.
“I knew it. I just knew it,” she squeals into my ear.
“What?” I ask.
“That my birthday wish is coming true.”
I smile and hold her tighter. Funny, the path life takes you on when you least expect it. I never in a hundred years thought I’d end up here, but don’t want to be any other place. Life has a funny way of making you believe in things you never thought possible. It’s sweet.
The smell of a burning waffle hits me first, then the smoke alarm begins chirping at a shrieking decibel.
“Shit.” I set Baker back down on the counter then dive for the waffle that was seconds away from becoming charcoal.
“Shit,” Baker mimics me.
“No, don’t say shit.” I try to flip the waffle out of the maker and into the sink.
“Why can’t I say shit? You just said shit.”
My knuckles graze the hot iron of the waffle maker. “Motherfucker.”
I swing my hand in the air to soothe the pain, while I flip the other one around to clear some of the smoke.
“Oh, motherwucker,” Baker chirps.
“No, you can’t say that, sweetie.” I finally get the burnt waffle to the sink while still trying to make the rest of the smoke disappear.
“You said motherwucker.”
“Christ,” I bellow out, wondering how this got so off track in the blink of an eye.
Then Teale’s giggles fill the room. I turn to see her covering her mouth watching the disastrous scene paly out in her kitchen.
“Need help, Cowboy?”
“I surrender.” I hold both my hands up and back away from the waffle iron and batter.
She waltzes up to me, curling her arms around my middle, then reaches up on her tiptoes planting a sweet and chaste kiss on my cheek.
“Go have a seat and I’ll finish breakfast.”
I find myself on the other side of the kitchen bar where I belong, with Baker sitting in front of me on the counter. She has a first aid kit out tending to my knuckles. Baker has half a tube of Neosporin on my knuckles and now about three band-aids. I don’t have the heart to tell her they’d be okay with no tending to, but she’s having fun.
“Momma, guess what?” She pushes her bangs from her face while applying the last bandage, or I at least hope it’s the last one.
“What, baby girl?”
“Hunter loves me.”
“Oh, really.”
She nods with her little tongue sticking out the right side of her mouth deep in concentration. “He woves me more than you.”
“Baker!” I exclaim in shock. “That was our little secret.”
Her tiny, white teeth shine bright back at me. “Oops.”
Like magic, Teale has our waffles plated and in front of us with all the fixings. I have no idea how she did it. Baker distracted me causing me to fail on my first shot. I wonder if you can make waffles in the Instapot? Mentally noted to ask my mom. If anyone can figure it out, it’s her.
Baker and I gobble up our fair share of breakfast. Once everyone is finished eating, I make Teale spend time with Baker while I clean up the kitchen. It’s the least I can do after the shit show this morning.
By the time, I make it out to the living room Baker is fresh from the bathtub dressed in her signature hot pink outfit. Everything about her is a miniature version of Teale, from her skinny jeans to her baggy sweater and designer boots. She’s sitting on the floor watching her favorite cartoon, while Teale effortlessly braids her hair. It’s not the three-strand type of brand I’ve mastered on horse tails, but some intricate shit.
There’s nothing more tempting right now than me wanting to go over and snuggle up to Teale on the couch and to discreetly touch her. The sad truth is there’s way too much pent up energy vibrating between us right now. An adult night is a must in the very, very near future or my balls may bust.
I end up sitting next to Baker, listening to her ramble on about the cartoon characters, and even though Teale’s hands are busy braiding she brushes the tops of my shoulders every once in a while. It’s a rare day where I don’t have any classes or have to work at the feedlot. I should be at the feedlot to make sure none of the city slickers screw up, but I’m going to take full advantage of my Saturday with my girls.
I’ll head out to Dave’s before dinner to check on him, and make sure he has food and whatever else he needs. The side of my neck is stiff, and the length of my spine screams out in soreness, reminding me of the fall I took yesterday and my still tender shoulder from the motorcycle accident. A chuckle escapes me, picturing me eating shit off Dave’s roof then ending up in the hard packed snow.
Of course, Dave would’ve heard the ruckus up on his roof. That damn man, as insane as he is, never misses a damn thing.
“What’s so funny, Cowboy?” Teale asks.
I shake my head and ignore her question. Shit, she’d have me in the ER having me checked out. Not to even mention how Baker would have band aids all along my neck and chest. It dawns on me in the rarest of moments, nursing has never been Teale’s cup of tea, but the way Baker went to town bandaging my knuckles makes me wonder. The
n it all clicks together. It’s Baker’s passion, and Teale is doing everything in her power to set a good example for her daughter.
My cell phone begins ringing in my pajama pants. My beating heart stills, when I see Dave’s name on the screen.
“Hello.”
“Hunter?”
“Yeah, Dave, what’s going on?”
“I’m in the hospital in Lewiston.”
I jump to my feet at those words not thinking twice. “What happened? How?”
“Called the ambulance because my damn feet hurt too damn bad.”
“On my way now.” I hang up before hearing any further explanation.
I’ve learned the hard way that Dave tends to make everything seem better than it is. I curse under my breath, racing up to Teale’s room to slip into my jeans and t-shirt from last night. She’s kept one pair of pajama pants for me here at her apartment for movie nights and lounging time, but it’s the only clothes I have here.
I’m pissed I’ve let Dave con me into thinking he’s better off than he is. If he was forced to call the ambulance then I know it’s bad. Teale and Baker are standing on their feet with worried looks painted on their faces, when I rush back down making me regret my hurried pace.
“Baby.” The one word falls from Teale’s lips coated in worry.
I walk right up to her without hesitation wrapping my arms low around her waist. My forehead drops to hers. “It’s Dave. He called the ambulance. I have to go.”
Her eyes water up in worry. She hasn’t spent any time with Dave since we’ve reunited, but I do know she always worries about him. They had an instant connection. Just like before, she was always there for me never questioning the endless hours I spent with Dave. I don’t know of another woman who would always be there for me when dealing with Dave.
“Call me when you know what’s going on.”
“I will.” I kiss the tip of her nose. “I love you, Teale.”
“Love you, too.”
There’s a tiny tug on my hand, and I peer down to see Baker staring up at me worrying her bottom lip. I kneel down next to her.
“I love you, little one.” I tap the tip of her nose. “I have to go take care of a friend, but will back later tonight.”
“You promise?” The tears evident in her eyes.
“I promise.”
“And we can burn waffles tomorrow?” She asks.
I pull her to me wrapping her up in a tight hug. “We can burn waffles every morning the rest of our lives.”
“Okay.” She nods her little head.
I feel like a dick leaving her behind upset, but it’s at least a forty-five-minute drive down to the hospital, then going through the damn circus of getting back to see him. The same nightmare just a different day. The only silver lining is knowing I have my girls to come back home to.
16
Hunter
“Life is tough, Darlin’, but so are you.” –Unknown
George Straight is on repeat the whole trip to Lewiston. I watch the speed limit, knowing I can’t afford a worthless speeding ticket. The pain in my gut strikes hard and fast. It’s always been there, some days worse than others. I’ve learned I can’t eat anything too fast, and to stay away from certain foods, or I end up barfing.
I slam my truck into park in the same parking lot where I picked Teale up off the ground. This place will always hold a dear memory of the tender steps it took for us reuniting. She’s recently scored a full-time job at a local clinic in Moscow. I love the fact she no longer has to drive.
Rushing into the waiting room, it feels like home away from home. Hell, I’ve been in out of so many different hospitals and nursing homes over the last months with Dave. Today there’s more action with lots of family members waiting. I recognize the receptionist behind the desk and decide in the blink of a second that lying will be the only way I get back to Dave.
“How can I help you?” She peers over her wire-framed glasses.
“I’m here to see Dave Hendricks.”
“Are you family?”
I bite down on the inside of my cheek, holding back the words wanting to spew from my mouth. “Yes, I’m his son.”
“Just a moment please while I locate him.” She glances down at her computer screen. “Have a seat, and I’ll be with you in a moment.”
I refuse to sit down, knowing that only long hours of waiting will follow. I pace back and forth, wearing a path in the ceramic tile with my boots.
“Hunter.”
My head flies up, and I came face to face with a familiar nurse.
“Yeah.”
“Dave wants you. Won’t quit calling for you. I told him I’d come out and check if you were here.”
My shoulders sag in relief. “Thank you.”
She leads me back through the swinging doors I’ve entered so many times before. The same scent, sounds, and sterile white curtains surround me. When we finally get to the room at the end of the hallway, I spot Dave.
He’s pale, but sits up as soon as he sees me. Pain still evident on his face, even though he has IV’s everywhere.
“Mr. Hendricks, I need to pull some more blood for testing.”
“Bullshit, you guys have already stuck me ten times.”
“I’m sorry, sir, but this is the final one.”
“I’m sick of you assholes wanting nothing more but to poke me. How would it make you feel? Just go…”
I stop Dave, knowing what was going to come next. I place my hand on the bed rail. “Dave, you’re not well and you’re in pain. They need to get down to the root of the issue. Let this gentleman do his job.”
He shakes his head, remaining pissed off, but finally gives in. This particular phlebotomist has never drawn blood from Dave. Anyone else who has had to deal with us in the hospital knows if they communicate through me and not directly to Dave he will cooperate. I’m tired of fighting to figure out why. The only thing I can come up with is he’s a stubborn ass.
The poor guy trembles a bit when starting to draw blood from Dave, but manages to get the job finished. Once he’s left the room, I lean down on the bed rails and stare Dave in the face.
“So, what is going on?”
“I told you, Hunter, my goddamn feet hurt.”
“The same pain you’ve been complaining about?” I ask.
He nods. “Got to a point last night where the pain pills wouldn’t even work. I gave up early this morning and called for an ambulance.”
“Have they told you anything yet?” I ask him.
“Naw, I’m just another fucking infection of some sort.”
We sit in the tiny emergency room for hours. Nurses come and go, checking on Dave. He harasses them about their looks and if they’re married. A doctor walks in when I’m ready to lose my patience playing the damn waiting game. I recognize him from Dave’s last visit.
“Mr. Hendricks.” He nods, then focuses in on the laptop in his hands. “Unfortunately, the gangrene spread. We thought wound care would be able to catch it, but they didn’t.”
“Wait.” I stand up from the chair. “Gangrene?”
“Yes.”
That’s all he supplies is a one word answer, but my questions are not finished.
“I had no clue he went home with gangrene in his feet.”
“Sorry.”
I grip the back of my neck, tamping down my anger. “Don’t you think that might have been important to relay to me?”
He looks at me for a beat, then focuses back in on Dave. “We need to amputate the toe on your right foot, and twenty-five percent of that foot to control the outbreak.”
The doctor pulls down the blanket exposing Dave’s feet. A shade of dark black, with crimson boils and sores cover his foot. The other one doesn’t look as bad, but far from healthy. I am livid. My blood is boiling out of control. Why in the fuck no one told me about this is beyond me? Here I was with him daily, listening to him talk about the pain, and I never saw wound care change his bandages.
&nbs
p; Dave clears his throat, and I realize he’s waiting for my approval of the amputation. I give him a slight nod. The doctor rambles on a bit longer before leaving the room. I have words for Dave and the doctor, so I decide to tail him out of the room.
“Sir.”
His white coat flying out as he turns. He only responds with a glance and no words.
“I’m going to be honest here. I had no idea about this and I’ve been with him every single day. It seems a lot could’ve been avoided if I was in the loop.”
He nods his head. “Okay.”
“What’s it looking like for Dave?”
“He has to have parts of his foot amputated.”
“And the odds of the outcome?”
He shrugs. “Time will tell.”
I clench and unclench my fists at my sides. He’s being a dick, and has no care to talk to me with his straightforward and one word responses. My frustration level is at an all-time high. The sight of Dave’s feet will be one that makes up all of my nightmares. No wonder the man was in so much fucking pain. I should’ve trusted my gut, knowing it was worse than he let on.
“Dave.” I round the corner into his room. “I’m pissed off at you.”
“So.”
“Did you know about this and never tell me?”
“Knew something was going on, but wasn’t sure.”
“You can’t do this shit. Your body can’t take it any longer.” I plop down in the chair and bury my face in my hands.
“I’m old and dying. It’s not a shock.”
I stare up at him, holding his gaze for a long beat before I speak. “Is that what you want?”
“I’m in pain, Hunter. My body hurts, and I’m tired.”
I scrub my hands down my face, having nothing else to offer. I’m torn in so many different directions, with tough questions that have no answers. Am I the reason Dave has been holding on fighting through the pain? Have I hindered his life? How much more time do I have left with the man who gifted me a new outlook on life? Do miracles even exist?