by HJ Bellus
“You better get that shit taken care of. Can’t lose my boy.”
“The doctors suspect it’s my gallbladder. Mom is hassling with the damn insurance. I’m going to wait until I go home this summer and get it taken care of.”
He shakes his head, not approving of my decision, but doesn’t argue with me.
“What else you been up to? How’s married life and being strapped down to one pussy permanently?”
“Jesus, Dave.” I shake my head. Teale and I had a small wedding over Spring break on Sweetwater, with her father and my family. Nothing big or flashy. We were both desperate to be married and united forever. I ended up proposing on the couch one night, while Baker was snuggled into my side and Teale working on her blog. It was our little piece of perfection.
“Married life is good. Just been hitting the gym trying to get my summer body ready.” I smirk.
He sits up a little higher in his bed. “Hunter, you don’t need muscles. They only care about one of them.”
“Oh yeah.” I’m pretty sure I know where this is heading, but bait him on. “What’s that?”
“Your dick, and if you can flex that then you’re golden. Won’t have to worry about the rest of your body.”
I laugh so hard I have tears rolling down my face. Dave joins in laughing right along with me. The only time he laughs anymore is when he makes me. They are always bittersweet moments, because I don’t know how much more we will share.
“When you go home this summer, gonna need you to stock up on some black licorice for me.”
“Okay.” I nod. “You know I’ll be making a trip up here every two weeks to see you, right?”
“Yeah, but won’t be the same.”
He’s right it won’t be, and I’ll miss him more than he’ll ever know. Teale and Baker are going home for the summer with me. Mom has one of the ranch houses all set up and ready to go. I finally convinced Teale to quit her nursing job and focus on her fashion blog. Hell, she’s making more money off ads and promotions on it, than she was nursing. I know it was a hard call for her because in her mind nursing was a career that the court deemed so necessary for her to have before getting custody of Baker. She’s always worried about being the perfect role model for our girl. I tell her every single night, there’s no need to worry and she’s finally listening to me.
“More candy?” A nurse walks in, popping her hand on her hip.
They still ride Dave’s ass about his diabetes. He doesn’t give a shit. This nursing home is strict as hell, and Dave’s always fighting them on something. Typically, they’re in the right, but I’ve never told him that. I pulled a doctor aside one day and asked him if I was helping kill Dave with bringing him candy. It’s a thought that’s rested heavily on my mind.
He told me at this point it doesn’t matter and if it makes Dave happy, then by all means. He did suggest sticking to black licorice and avoiding candy bars.
“Fuck off,” Dave growls at her.
“You know you’re not supposed to have that in here.”
“And you know I’m real tired of you bitchy nurses poking and prodding me.”
“Whoa.” I stand up from the chair. “Dave, calm down.”
I swear it’s magic the way he reacts to me. Hell, he would’ve gone ten more sparring rounds with the nurse. She goes about checking his stats and then leaves without even a goodbye.
“Are you trying to get one of them to snuff you out with a pillow in the middle of the night?” I ask him.
“Only if she shoves her tits in my face while she does it.” The black drool races down his chin as he polishes off his last bag of candy.
21
Hunter
“Funny how a melody sounds like a memory.” –Eric Church
“You have field twips in college?” Baker asks.
I’m doing her hair for preschool. I learned that braiding a girl’s hair is much different than a horse's tail. That shit just doesn’t want to cooperate, and Baker has her mother’s thick, unruly curls making it a bitch. Quinn saved my ass one day on FaceTime, teaching me how to master the art of a messy bun. You slap a bow on that shit, and if I do say so myself, it’s salon looking quality.
“Yes, there are field trips. I’m going to the Wine Cup Gamble on the biggest ranch in the west. They have over a thousand acres.”
“Hunter, I think you have the biggest ranch. I love it there.”
The proud papa inside me wants to tell her good job for hitting each sound in her sentence, but I refrain from it.
“We’ll live there forever one day, Baker.”
“I can’t wait, and I can ride that pony all day long right, Daddy?”
My hands freeze in her hair, and pure emotion strikes me hard in the gut. I fight to find the words, but every single one of them gets lodged deep in my throat.
“Right, Daddy?”
Teale clears her throat, and I turn to see her leaning up against the wall with her arms crossed.
“Right, baby girl,” I manage to croak out, feeling like the champion of the world at this moment.
“I love that pony.” Baker goes on about the little horse that will be hers on the ranch.
“You know your momma use to tease me about that pony. She thought it was pretend.”
“Momma, you’re so silly.”
Teale sits down next to us, then hands me a coffee mug. I have to take it easy on the black coffee to not upset my stomach, but the straight shot of caffeine is too hard to stay away from.
“Remember, Hun…” Teale pauses and corrects herself. “Daddy will be gone four days.”
Baker stands up with a worried expression covering her delicate features. “Promise you’ll come back.”
“Not even the wildest Indians could keep me away from my girls.” I grab her and hug her tight, then begin my tickle attack.
I drop her off like I do every Thursday morning at preschool. I’ve scoped out the boy named Carl, and make sure to give him an, ‘I’ll kick your ass,’ glare every single time. A bit childish, but the little ass better leave my girl alone.
I decide to race down to the nursing home to visit Dave before classes. I’ll be pulling a long shift at the university feedlot today to make sure everything is taken care of while I’m gone on my field trip.
The nursing home buzzes with workers racing in every direction. A few of the nurses give me a wave and a warm smile. I’m sure they’re happy I’m here to occupy Dave for an hour or so.
“Dave,” I holler louder than expected when I walk into his room.
His hands are planted on the floor, and his whole body trembling with his ass and legs still in the bed. I race over to him, helping him sit back up.
“What’s going on?”
“I keep leaning that way. I can’t sit up straight.” His body trembles as he fights to talk.
I’m thrown straight into panic mode, pushing him to the other side of his bed and then rushing out into the hall hollering for help. A set of nurses rush into the room. Chaos ensues as one of them calls for an ambulance to transport him to the hospital.
“What’s going on?” I grip the back of my neck with the question going ignored again.
I glimpse the manager of the nursing home walking by, and snag her by the arm determined to get answers.
“What’s going on with Dave?” I do my best to tamp down the hysteria threatening to erupt inside of me.
“His potassium levels have been through the roof, and we’ve been monitoring him.”
“He was hanging out of his goddamn bed when I got here!”
She, too, rushes past me. Everyone has blown into a full out tizzy with Dave’s condition. I stay by his side until he’s loaded into the ambulance, then tail it to the hospital.
I blow through a few red stoplights, fighting to keep up with the whaling vehicle in front of me.
“Shit.” I pound the steering with so much force my hand aches. “C’mon Dave, pull through this.”
By the time I sprint in
to the ER waiting room, I’ve lost track of the ambulance and Dave for that matter. I go through the same shit show I do every time at the front desk. There’s a new receptionist asking for identification to prove I’m Dave’s son. I don’t give a shit the last names don’t match.
“Sorry, Sir, I’m going to have to get clearance from Mr. Hendricks first.”
“I’m all he has.” I slap my ball cap on the counter. “He’s not in good shape, and I need to get back to him now.”
“Sir, I’ll be forced to call security if you don’t calm down.”
“Go ahead and call damn security, it might help me get back there to see him.”
“Hunter?” A familiar voice joins our conversation. “He’s back this way.”
I’m relieved when I see the nurse Dave and I both drooled over a while back. She grabs my arm, leading me to him.
“Do you have any idea what’s going on?”
She peers over to me with a sad look in her eyes. “It’s kidney failure. His potassium is sky high. He’s on so many medications his kidneys can’t filter what they need.”
I drop my head, keeping up pace. “That’s bad.”
It doesn’t even come out as a question, but rather a statement. She also doesn’t have to acknowledge the fact it’s a terrible predicament.
“Once the kidneys begin to fail, the other main organs come next.” She grips my arm tighter. “Hunter, you need to prepare yourself. I’m not a doctor, and I’m sure there are options, but just know.”
I nod, then freeze outside the door to his room. Dave’s voice floats out into the hallway calling for his boy. The desperation in his voice cracks me. Tears flow, and I don’t even have the will to hold them back any longer. The harsh time of reality is staring me right in the face, and I hate it.
“Explains his irregular heartbeat,” I say more to myself.
The nurse nods. “Go. He needs you, Hunter. My nursing degree is based on the science of medicine, but I also know for a fact that man is living for you.”
The sound of her clogs echoing down the hallway soothe my soul for a tick, until I hear Dave holler out for his boy again. There’s no doubt of the fear in his voice. I wipe away the remaining tears, take a deep gulp of oxygen, and then step into his room.
He’s still leaning, unable to remain upright with trembles wracking his whole body. I go to him without thinking and wrap my arms around him until he’s sitting upright. My biceps do their best to contain his shivering body.
“I’m here, Dave. I’m here.”
“Hunter.” His trembling hand reaches up grabbing my arm. “I just want to die. Take it all away.”
“No.” I shake my head then rest it on top of his. “I have so much more to learn from you.”
“I’m tired, and if it’s not one thing, it’s the next. I’m going crazy in this body and want to die.”
“Dave, stop saying that.” The tears come once again. I feel droplets of water land on my arm and know he’s crying too.
“It will just be another procedure prolonging all of this.”
“You will do it and fight.”
We remain this way until the doctor comes back in and explains that Dave needs two stents put in his kidney. Dave argues and becomes belligerent with him, then he looks up at me. I nod my head, hoping he will continue to take my advice. After he finally gives the go ahead, Dave’s wheeled back to the OR.
I flop down in a waiting room chair and know I have to cancel my spot on the field trip, even though it was the one thing I was looking forward to. It was an extra credit activity, so won’t affect my grades. Connor’s emailing me his notes from my missed classes today, and I’m forced to call the assistant manager at the feedlot.
My phone rings a couple of hours in with my girl’s beautiful face smiling back at me.
“Hey.”
“Baby, I missed your call when I was picking up Baker. What’s up?”
“Teale.” The one word comes out tortured mirroring my current mood.
“What’s wrong?”
“Dave.”
“Hunter.” Her voice grows panicked, but I can’t get out the words. “What is going on?”
Dropping my head, I clutch it in one hand and fight to inhale air and talk. “Kidney failure. They’re putting two stents in.”
A sharp intake of breath comes from the other end of the line. “Let me get Baker situated with Dad, and then I’ll be there.”
“He can’t die on me, Teale. I have so many plans for the farm…”
“Baby, sit tight. I’ll be right there.”
I nod even though she can’t see it. “I need you, Teale.”
“Give me an hour.”
“Okay.”
“I love you.”
“Love you, too.” I hit the end button and drop my phone in my lap.
My head bounces off the wall behind me with not even an ounce of pain registering in my body. The world spins out of control and freezes at the same moment, with my flesh being eaten alive one millisecond at a time.
22
Hunter
“Never regret something that once made you smile.” –Keith Urban
I avoid the stare of the cashier when I check out with over seventy-five dollars of black licorice. I stocked Dave’s drawer at the nursing home, but he was a bit nervous about running out when I leave for home in a month. His stay at the hospital was only a couple days long, and we’re still battling his potassium levels.
My phone rings while walking out to my truck. Dave’s name pops up on the screen.
“Hello.”
“Hunter, just letting you know they took me to the hospital today.”
“What?” It comes out as a shout.
“They had to take some more toes.”
“Fuck.” I pound the side of my truck. “Where are you now?”
“I’m back at the hospital.”
“Okay, I have some shit to do then I’ll be up there in a couple of hours.”
“What are you doing?” Dave asks.
He’s bored and wanting to chat.
“Buying a grumpy old ass another shit load of black licorice.”
“Heard he’s a sexy son of a bitch.” I can see the smile in his voice, but toward the end of the sentence, his words slur together.
“Are you in pain? Feeling dizzy?”
“No, some bitch just put an IV in with pain meds.”
“Okay, go to sleep, and I’ll be there in a bit.”
“Bye, son.”
“See ya.”
I open the door and slide into the truck.
“You okay, Daddy?”
I peer back to Baker in her booster seat, all dolled up for her dance recital. She was insistent on taking my truck because her little heart is set on being a ranch girl. Makes my heart damn proud, that’s for sure. Teale reaches over and grabs my hand; the woman can read me like an open book.
We don’t discuss it on the way to the dance recital. Baker has been non-stop about her performance. She joined lessons late, but has caught up like a real champ. Out of the corner of my eye, I watch Teale stroke the red petals on the roses I managed to sneak into the truck for Baker.
She keeps a tight grip on my hand on the way to the dance studio. To say I’m shocked Dave was taken to the hospital and had more toes amputated would be understatement. Dad gave me a good long talk about balancing life once I married Teale and Baker became my daughter. I knew it would be hard, but in moments like this, it’s tearing me apart. I’m one man torn in a hundred different ways.
The squeals of Baker in the back seat keep me smiling for the time being. Teale has all of Baker’s hair piled high up on her head. I’m not crazy about the blush and lipstick, but Teale reassured me all the girls would be wearing the same.
I barely have the old truck in park, before Baker is tearing out of her booster seat and ready to run in. I manage to get out just in time, before she streaks across the parking lot. I hear the squeal of the tires then see the glitte
ry flash of Baker’s tutu as she sprints toward the door.
I leap into action without thinking grabbing her around the waist just in the knick of time. The person driving the car slams on the brakes. When it stops, we are standing inches from the driver’s side door. They would’ve run her over, without a second thought, in the blink of an eye.
I pound on their window, my frustration boiling with a force I’m unable to control. I see an inferno of red, and am ready to punch the living shit out of the man in the driver’s seat. I’m not the fighting type, nor the kind to lose their temper very easy, but these last few weeks have not been easy on me.
I pass Baker’s trembling body to Teale who is standing behind me. Then pound on the window even harder, shocked the glass hasn’t shattered. The man slowly rolls down the window to the piece of shit car that nearly took Baker’s life.
“Motherfucker,” I hiss out with venom coating each sound.
“Sorry, man, I didn’t see her.”
I glance to the cell phone in his hand that’s not on the steering wheel, and it’s the final breaking point. “Get out of the car now.”
He shakes his head. “Man, said I’m real sorry.”
“Going to teach you a lesson about being sorry and speeding in a parking lot.”
“Baby.” Teale tugs on the belt loop of my Wranglers. “Don’t, we are going to be late. He’s not worth it.”
The love and tenderness in her voice is the balm quenching my rage. I force myself to step back and unclench my fists. The bastard is smart for driving off and not looking back.
“Daddy.” I look over to see Baker. “Yous okay?”
“Come here.” I hold my hands out to her. “Don’t ever do that again okay? You scared me.”