by Unknown
Drake didn’t push me. He hadn’t and he wouldn’t, not unless I wanted him to. I could have this with him, couldn’t I? I could give in to this attraction and still keep myself safe. I could make decisions. My decisions, based on what I wanted and not on anyone else. How did I tell him though, and make him understand? I led him out to the deck and took a seat. He sat beside me, crowding me with his intensity. Elbows on his knees, he leaned forward and nursed his beer. "Are you going to tell me?"
Crossing my legs, I tapped my fingers on the table. "I told you I don’t do sex."
"I know, but you gave me your address." He brushed his thumb along my jaw and leaned closer. "Underneath everything, you want me to fuck you."
Squirming in my seat, I ran my tongue over my bottom lip, and his thumb followed, tracing the moist path. I dipped my head, catching at it as the tingling sifted through me into my core. "I think… I do, but… I don’t, I haven’t." I pulled in a big breath. "I’ve never really had sex."
He drew his eyebrows together. "How does one not really have sex? You said you weren’t a virgin."
Was I going to have to spell this out? "There was an incident when I was younger." I leaned back, staring at the table, and out into the darkness, anywhere but at him.
A palm on my thigh, he caught my face with his other hand, capturing my gaze. "I think I get it. You got hurt real bad, and you haven’t healed. Let me help you." He pulled me onto his lap, wrapping his arms around me and rested his chin on my head.
"I don’t understand how you see through me. It took me years to admit that to anyone. I barely know you."
He kissed the top of my head and stroked my hair. "Don’t you feel it? When I look at you, you hold my life in your eyes and nothing else exists. I don’t understand it, but I know you. You’re mine."
I rubbed my cheek against his shirt, my fingers curled on his chest. There was something here. Something I didn’t understand, but couldn’t let go of. I slipped off his lap. "Come to bed?"
He was on his feet before I got the last word out, and I led him into my room, closing the door behind us. "I don’t know if I can do this, but I want to. I want to try."
Pulling me into his arms, he hoisted me up and carried me to bed in the dark. He tripped over the shoes I’d left near the door, and I clutched at him as he fought to regain his balance. The bed dipped when he slid me onto it and climbed on beside me, cupping my face so he could kiss me. I clutched at him, trembling as he devoured my mouth and my body became fluid and molten. "Darlin’, I want to touch you, I want to feel your naked skin in my hands."
My breath hitched and I nodded, though he couldn’t see me in the dark. I kissed his jaw, the prickle of his stubble rough on my lips as he ran his fingers under my shirt and over my belly, sending ripples through my nerves. Slowly he worked his palms under my shirt, and up, up, up over my belly.
"Touch me," I whimpered.
He slipped his hand over my bra, running his thumb over my sensitive nipple, which puckered and stiffened from his attention. A growl rumbled from the back of his throat. "I want to see your tits. They feel fucking amazing."
Reaching over, I flipped the lamp on, blinking in the sudden brightness. He was leaning on his elbow, stroking me through my bra as he stared at me with eyes that were darker than normal. With each breath he took his chest rose and fell. Each inhale and exhale heavier as he held himself in firm control. I gathered my shirt and pulled it over my head exposing my upper body to his gaze, and he licked his lips before he drew down to me, kissing my mouth, my chin, my neck. Lips to my shoulder he sucked the skin between his teeth and bit down gently. My back arched, allowing him to slip his hands beneath me and unhook my bra. Drawing it from my body he discarded it and slid his fingers over my belly, his gaze darting to my chest before he brought it back to my face. "Fucking beautiful."
I held my breath as he sat up and pulled me onto his lap. I could feel him, hard between my thighs, and I tensed and scooted back. He gripped my hips. "I’m hard because I want you, but you’re calling the shots here. When you tell me I can have you, I won’t hold back, but right now I’ll only go as far as you’ll let me."
Tugging on my lip with my teeth, I took a deep breath as I placed my palms on his chest, exploring his hard muscles through his shirt. My fingers dipping down over the ridges of his abs. Since I’d seen him in the ring with Tom, I’d dreamed of doing this. But my dreams were pitiful compared to the real thing. I dropped my hands lower, and he held his breath, his chest still as I skirted over the top of his pants and gripped the bottom of his shirt to pull it up. He took it from me, whipped it over his head, and chucked it across the room. A raucous conglomeration of colors covered his shoulders and chest, and I ran my fingertips over the ink, leaning in to kiss along the one on his shoulder. My fingers curled in the center of his chest where a smattering of fine hair tickled me. I followed it down over his abdomen to the button on his jeans. He held his arms clenched to his sides, and with wide eyes, I stared at his face. My exploration was testing his control. I took his hands and placed them on my chest, and he ran a thumb over each nipple. Closing my eyes, I savored the feel of his palms on my tits. It was better than I had expected, and when he put his lips to my breast, kissing and suckling, I arched back, thrusting it into his mouth. Never in my life had I thought sex could be like this, and it wasn’t even sex yet. What he was doing with his lips, and his hands was nothing compared to what having sex with him would be like. It wouldn’t be a drunken tussle, where pain was the only sensation. And afterwards? Well maybe he’d leave, and there would be regret, but right now, it felt right.
I ran my fingers along his waistband. "I… I want to touch you. It."
His lips vibrated around my nipple as he growled, making my insides ache. He captured my hands in his and brought his mouth to my mine for another kiss, which erased any doubts I had about him wanting to ravish me. With slow but determined moves, I undid the button of his jeans and pulled the zipper down. Pushing aside his pants, I ran one over his boxers, feeling the rigid length of him swell and jump under my touch. His hands tensed on my hips as I tugged them down to reveal the tip of his erection. I touched the blunt head of his cock, hot and sensual, a small drop of liquid smearing on my fingers as I swirled it over his skin. He moaned as his hips pushed up beneath me. "Fuck me, darlin’, you’re destroying my control."
"I know," I whispered hypnotized by the way his cock reacted to my touch, unable to stop. I pulled his boxers lower, releasing it so I could wrap my hand around it. He hissed out a breath as I grazed along the ridge underneath and circled his length, squeezng gently until it jerked in my palm. Stroking my palm up and down his shaft, I wondered how something so hard could be so velvety soft. Bowing my head, I licked my lips wanting to taste him.
He pressed me back until he hovered over me, his knee planted between my thighs. His hips dipped with each swipe of my hand over his shaft. "If you keep going, I’m going to rip those panties from you, woman, and I don’t want to scare you away."
I firmed my grip. "I’m not scared of you."
He tilted my chin and stared into my eyes. "You should be."
"Why?" I asked in a breathy voice.
He tugged at my pants, the button popping free as he pulled them from me. His fingers splayed over my thighs, he brushed them up my legs to my pelvis. "Because I’m going to show you how much you like to be fucked. You’ll be begging me for it. Never again will you say those words."
"What words?" I spread my legs a little, as he ran them down over my panties. He’d feel the wetness gathered there, know he turned me on.
He slid a digit into the thin fabric, and through my slick folds, mimicking me. "I don’t do sex."
With a whimper I arched against his finger as he brushed it over my clit, the heat inside me spreading. If he’d been my first, I would never have given up sex. He drew a desperate need to have him inside me from my molten body. "Do you… have a condom?"
"I do." He chuckled an
d pulled one from his pocket. "But, there’s more I want to do to you, before I bury myself inside you."
I didn’t know what to make of his words. "What?"
He tugged at the thin material of my panties and stretched it until it tore free. I gasped, and he grinned.
"I’m going to fuck you with my fingers." Sliding them through my wetness, he penetrated my core. His thumb found my clit, and he stroked it in time with each thrust of his digit, until I grasped the sheets my hips rising to meet him. When he sunk another one inside of me, I moaned, tilting my head back and closing my eyes, the sensation taking over. He moved in and out of me, the sound of my pussy taking his fingers, layered with the sound of our breathing. "You’re so wet. Such a perfect pussy."
Heat rushed into my face, and I was sure I was turning red. He palmed my face with his other hand. "Open your eyes and look at me."
I opened them, and stared at him as his hand dropped to my tit. He tweaked my nipple, rolling it and adding to the ache inside me.
"You are the sexiest thing I have ever seen, and I want you to see what you do to me. Don’t close your eyes and shut me out. Be here, with me."
I pinned my gaze on him as he continued to torture my pussy. With the rhythmic brush of his thumb over my clit, the swollen nub became more sensitive, until I was arching and moaning to the beat of his fingers. The heat in my core built into an inferno that rushed through every part of me. Each breath I took shuddered through my lungs, and my limbs turned to jelly, my toes curling from the intensity. My insides fragmented and molded back together by his hands, into a woman who could never again look at sex in the same way she had before tonight.
I relaxed as he slid his fingers out of me, and put them to his mouth, sucking my wetness from them. When he ran them over my slit again I scooted away, too sensitive to stand his touch. Through heavy eyelids and unfocused eyes, I stared at him, hoping he would not be disappointed in me.
He grinned. "I’m not done with you yet, woman."
"I know."
I took his cock in my hand and stroked it. He was obliterating my previous experience with sex and replacing it with one I would never be able to forget.
"No." He wrapped his fingers around mine. "Not yet."
"What then?" I glanced at our hands joined around his length.
"I’m going to taste you. I’m going to run my tongue through the sweet warmth that’s coating your pussy until you beg me to fuck you. I want you to want me so much, you can’t think straight."
His words were an arrow of pleasure to my already aching nub. I didn’t know if he could make me feel that way, but I couldn’t deny him the pleasure of trying. My tongue darted out to wet my lips as he dipped between my legs. The first stroke of his tongue on my flesh swept me up in sensation, and I reached for his head, my fingers finding his silken hair. He dipped and twirled his tongue through my folds, layering whispers of his lips against my skin, until I was bucking beneath him. I tugged at his hair as he swept in and out of me and circled my clit, making me wetter than I had been, making me frantic for him.
"More," I whimpered.
He didn’t stop. My thighs tightened around his head, holding him to me. How could it be possible he could make me feel so much? I clenched my teeth as the heat in my core overwhelmed me. "Now, Drake, now. I need you now."
I came with his tongue inside me, my pussy pushed into his mouth. Would we actually get to the part I'd been afraid of for so long? He climbed up my body, settling on top of me and kissed me. I could taste myself on him, and feel my wetness on his lips. "You’re sexy as fuck, when you cum."
"What about sex, though?" His rigid cock nestled between my thighs, bobbed as it searched for my heat, wanting inside me, like it had a mind of its own. I ran my hand over his back. "I know I want to do that… with you, but I’m spent."
He chuckled and kissed my shoulder blade. "A woman’s body is a beautiful thing. If you’re not ready we won’t, but if you let me inside of you, I’ll damn well stay there until you cum again."
I doubted his ability and mine. I’d only ever had one orgasm at a time when getting myself off. This was the first time I’d had two so close together. Surely I was done. "I don’t care if I can’t. I want you. I want to do this. When I think about sex, I want it to be this night that comes to mind."
He ran his hand down my side and back up to cup my breast as he shifted his weight onto his elbow. His cock nudged at me as he shifted above me, and I tensed. I wanted this. I wanted him, but beneath the want, I was scared. What if it hurt like it had that first time?
"Easy, darlin’." He stroked my side. "We’ll take this as slow as you need."
I nodded, and let my eyelids droop. With one hand he cupped my cheek. "Look at me, Birdie."
I trained my gaze on his and he held me locked there, in his gravitational pull as he pushed an inch into me. He felt bigger inside me than he had in my palm, and we both stayed still while I adjusted to having him there. Stroking my hair, he pressed a kiss to my lips and pushed in a little further. It didn’t hurt as I thought it would. In fact, I wanted more of him. My pelvis lifted, straining to take him deeper, and he sank into me until our hips met. "You’re so tight. Tell me you’re okay."
I curled up to kiss him and smoothed my hands down his back to grasp his hips. He felt so good inside me, but my body wanted to move. I pushed him deeper, and he chuckled as he pulled back and slid in again. "Fuck," I whimpered.
"Say it again," he growled as he thrust forward, my pussy clenching around his cock, aching heat filling me more than it had before. I shook my head as I fisted the sheets and whimpered, his thrusts building something stronger and deeper than the orgasms I had already experienced.
Picking up the pace, he continued to thrust, pulling me apart from the inside out with his exquisite brand of torture. I wrapped my leg around his hips, feeling the slick sweat that glistened on his skin and mine. "Fuck me, Drake," I cried out. "I’m going to cum. Oh god, I’m—"
It ripped from deep inside me and swept me away as I clung to him, boneless and limp. He shuddered and pulled out of me, his cum streaming onto my thigh. Shit. We hadn’t used a condom.
"Oh shit!" I sprung from the bed. "Oh my God, I can’t believe you did that." Grabbing my robe, I wrapped it tight around my waist. "I can’t believe I let you." I opened the door as he stared at me, not moving from the bed. "Get out of my house."
He scrambled to the edge of the bed. "Birdie, calm down. I’m sorry. It’ll be okay."
No, it wouldn’t be okay. I pointed at the door and yelled, "Get out, now."
He found his clothes and dressed, while I paced the room. What pharmacies were open at this time of night? Would I have to wait until morning to get the after morning pill? I couldn’t believe I’d let this happen.
"Birdie." He placed his hand on my waist and tried to pull me to him.
I glared at him over my shoulder. "Don’t touch me."
"You’re freaking out over nothing. It’s going to be all right."
I turned on him, jabbing his chest. "We had unprotected sex. You’re an obstetrician. You know what happens when people have unprotected sex."
"Yes." He ran his hand through his hair. "I’m sorry. I was too caught up in you. I didn’t mean…"
I hadn’t meant to, either. I was as much at fault as he was. Staggering to the bed, I slumped down on it, my legs shaking. "I know you didn’t. I make stupid decisions."
He crouched in front of me. "I’ll take you to find a pharmacy."
"No." I shrank away from him.
His eyes widened and his brow furrowed. Backing up, he opened his mouth to speak but didn’t say anything. Instead, he shook his head slowly, and I felt bad for taking this out on him. He had to be thinking I was overreacting. And I was, but I couldn’t help myself. Memories raced through my head, and I gulped air. How had I let myself get into this position again? Tears burned behind my eyes, blurring my focus. Nothing had changed. I hadn’t learned anything in ten years
. Here I was, still making the same stupid mistakes. My heart thundered, and I tried to push down the part of me that was screaming. I wasn’t strong enough to face another decision like that.
"I need you to leave."
"Birdie, come on. This is my mess too." He took my hand and stroked the inside of my wrist.
I ached to reach out and let him hold me, but the pressure behind my eyes was becoming unbearable. When I broke it wouldn't be pretty, and I couldn't let him see me like that. Shaking my head, I stared at the floor. "Just go."
Chapter Nine
Drake
"Come on, darlin’. It’s going to be all right."
"This is why… I knew you were nothing but trouble…" She covered her face with her hands.
I pried them away to hold them in mine. Her eyes glistened, and her mouth trembled.
"Let me take care of you."
Rigid, she pulled away from me. "I can take care of myself." She pushed at my shoulder. "Just get out of here."
I stood and threw my hands on top of my head while I took in deep breaths. What was I supposed to do?
"Go," she repeated, holding herself tightly. Arms wrapped around her waist keeping her robe closed, she crossed her legs. She seemed to shrink into herself, her body crumpling as a single tear escaped her left eye and ran its way down the side of her nose to drip onto her robe.
I wanted to punch something, anything. Instead, I slapped the wooden frame as I pulled open the door and paused. "I’ll call you in the morning."
I stalked out of her house in the darkness. She’d responded so eagerly to my desires that I’d had no uncertainties to the outcome of this evening, but the destruction of the moment and the wave of anguish that emanated from her floored me. Turning back around, I stared at the front door. Could I really walk away from this? "Damn it."
She wasn’t giving me a choice. Grabbing my helmet, I pulled it on, jumped on my bike, and tore out of there.
She was supposed to be a fuck, like all the other fucks before her. Not this, whatever this was. My motto was simple. Get in. Get out. Anything more could only be mediocre at best. Hailey had been my perfection, my dream, my angel, and nothing after her could be enough.