by Unknown
She’d survived and become this amazing woman who I held in my arms. She was strong enough to handle me, but she questioned her choices, and us. Worse yet, she believed she’d caused it and that it was her due to suffer for it. Resting my chin on top of her head, I roamed my hand over her belly. I wanted to wipe that belief from her mind and make her realize she’d carried around guilt that had never belonged to her in the first place.
She rolled over and threw a leg over my hip, but her eyes remained closed. Maybe she didn’t realize the truth of what had happened, or maybe she just didn’t want to admit it. I’d had to bite my tongue and clamp down on the sizzling anger that swirled through me, because I’d wanted to shake her and make her realize it had never been her fault. I tucked my hand under her thigh and drifted off to sleep. One day I’d make her realize she didn’t have to question herself. She was stronger than she thought she was.
Birdie
My phone rang in the distance. I got up, disentangling myself from Drake’s arms and slid off the bed. Careful not to wake him, I crossed the room to scoop up my bag.
"Hi," I whispered.
"Where are you?" Orion said by way of greeting.
"That’s none of your business."
He chuckled. "Get your ass out of the good doctor’s bed and get over here. We have a homecoming to celebrate."
I stared at the screen on my phone. When had the days begun to bleed into one another? "Crap. Okay. I’ll be there in thirty."
I hung up on him and tossed the phone back in my bag as I gathered my clothes. Hannah had been home for days, but they had wanted to wait until we could all celebrate together. Drake shifted in the bed, rolling onto his back and watched me as I shrugged into my clothes from the day before and tossed my hair up in a messy braid. "What’s going on?"
I plunked down on the bed to pull on my shoes. "Homecoming for Hannah."
Would it be too soon to invite him to join me? Would that be weird? I crawled over to him, and he sat up to kiss me. "You want me to come?"
"Mmhmm." I wafted my lips along his jaw line, momentarily distracted. He smelled like sex, a mixture of spice and awesomeness that I couldn’t describe. If I could bottle his scent, it would be worth millions.
"Darlin’," he said. "As much as I’d prefer to rip those clothes off you again, you did say thirty minutes."
"Yes, oh yes. Hannah’s party. So will you come with me?"
"Always." He grinned.
I slapped at his chest and climbed off him. He tossed back the sheet, and I stared at him as he stretched out, watching me with his intense gaze. My tongue darted over my parched lips and I glanced around the room. Grabbing his clothes from the floor, I tossed them at his head. "Get dressed, before I’m late to my niece’s party."
***
Drake parked the bike in the driveway, and I slid from behind him. Taking the helmet off, I ran my palm over my braid in the hopes of making it look respectable. I glanced at him, and he crooked a smile at me.
My fingers twisted the silver necklace I’d decided to wear. "We could just go back to your place and get naked."
He chuckled, from somewhere deep in his chest, and it rose up in a deep grumble. "I want to see my favorite girl."
I backhanded his chest. "I’m not your favorite girl?"
I led the way up the steps and scooted in the front door before him. The last time I’d talked to Orion, I'd been saying some very unflattering things about Drake, and I worried what Orion would say to him. There was no one in the house so we followed the sound of voices out to the backyard and onto the wide wrap-around porch.
Orion and Mellie were laughing over something, and Clo held a sleepy Hannah against her shoulder as she rubbed her back.
The door banged loudly behind Drake, and I darted a glance at him as the others went silent. Orion dropped his feet from the rail to stalk over to us. His arms crossed, he gave Drake a hard stare. Drake stepped in between us and pushed out his hand. "Orion."
Orion took it. "Doctor Barclay."
"Drake."
Would this showdown happen every time the two met? I glared at Orion, and he gave me an affable grin as he pumped Drake’s hand.
Clo cleared her throat and Mellie snorted. "You two are hilarious, being all manly and shit. You look like a couple of dicks," she said slapping a hand to her thigh. She got up and came over to join us. "Would you like a beer, Drake?"
She clapped Orion on the shoulder, and he visibly relaxed and dropped his hand.
"Yes, thanks." Drake stepped back and accepted Mellie’s offer.
Seb ran up the stairs, followed by Mike. He was out of breath and looking older than his years, but the spark that had always danced in his brown eyes was still there as he pulled me in for a bear hug.
"Long time, no see," I said.
He kissed the top of my head, and Drake cleared his throat behind us. Mike lifted his gaze to take in my companion. "Girl, you chose him, when you could have had me?"
He guffawed, and I slapped his chest, which sent him into a coughing fit. "Serves you right." I stuck my tongue out at him before turning to Drake. Drake watched him closely, his arms crossed over his chest. "This is Mike, he’s family."
Mike offered his hand and Drake took it, but with Mike, there was no standoff. "Seems like you’re good for our girl."
"Thanks," Drake said. "I try to be."
Mellie came back and handed him a beer before going back to her seat.
I watched Mike’s gaze follow her. His lips pressed into a thin line as he reached up to rub the back of his neck.
"What have you been up to, Mike?"
"Hmmm?" He didn’t even glance my way. There was a pained look in his eyes, and when Mellie laughed, he seemed to fold into himself more than he was already.
"Mike?"
He turned to face me and scratched at his buzz cut. It had thinned out in the past year but didn’t detract from his good looks, or wouldn’t have if he’d spent any time in the sun. He was almost paler than I was.
"Working too much, I guess," he said and glanced at his watch.
Drake touched my shoulder, and I rested into his chest as I scrunched my nose. "You’re looking tired."
"Nah," he laughed, "I’ve been running around after that hellion nephew of yours."
I smiled. "Yeah, he can be a handful."
Mellie got up and wandered inside. Mike’s gaze followed her. "I’m going to get a beer."
Staring at him as he followed her into the house, I bet my last dollar he still loved her. I didn’t understand why they didn’t get back together when it was obvious they still had strong feelings.
I shook it off and led Drake over to the table where he greeted Clo. "How’s she doing?"
Clo smiled. "Well if it isn’t our favorite doctor. We’re settling in fine." She stood up and placed sleeping Hannah in his arms.
He cradled her carefully and bounced from foot to foot. "She’s putting on weight quickly. That’s good."
My stomach flipped at how gorgeous he was; this sculpted tatted man juxtaposed with the tiny sleeping baby in his arms. He looked up at me with a gleam in his eye, and I took an involuntary step back. "Are you going to hold your niece?"
"No." I shook my head. "You know I don’t."
He leered at me. "Come on, she’s not going to cry. She’s asleep."
I took another step back as Clo chuckled and touched his arm. "Fifty dollars says you can’t get her to hold her."
"Damn it, Clo," I said through gritted teeth. "You know I love my nephew and niece, but I don’t hold babies."
I ran into Orion’s chest and he grinned down at me. "No," I whispered, my heart thundering and I shook my head. "I’m not holding her."
Drake held her in one arm and snaked his other around me to pull me into him. Somehow, he had her in my arms before I could blink, and his arms around mine kept her firmly in place. Her scrunched up face turned to mine and stole my breath away as I trembled.
Drake whispered in
my ear."It’s okay. She’s fine. See?"
I took a shaky breath. I’d promised myself I would never hold a baby. It opened a part of my soul that I’d worked hard to keep closed off. My eyes watered and I looked up at Orion. "Please take her."
He cocked his head and scrunched his brow together before he reached out to take her from me. I barely noticed her weight lift from my arms. I pulled away from Drake and walked away from the three of them.
Drake called out my name, but I ignored him and walked into the house.
"Fuck you, Mike."
"You’re the one who went out and screwed that guy."
I froze in my tracks, not wanting to go back outside but feeling weird about eavesdropping on Mike and Mellie’s conversation.
"Like you weren’t fucking around behind my back. All those times you had to go out." I could see Mellie’s hands lifted in air quotes.
"I told you I wasn’t."
"Whatever, Mike. I’m not stupid. You weren’t having sex with me. You had to be getting it somewhere."
"I’m not covering this ground again," he growled.
"Hey, Mellie, can I borrow your car?" I said loudly before I walked into their line of vision.
Mellie jumped away from Mike. "Sure, honey, what’s going on?"
"I need to get out of here for a bit."
"We need more beer," Mike said, looking in the fridge. "How about we go for a drive to the store?
"Okay."
He slammed the fridge door closed and put his arm around my shoulder. "We’ve got some catching up to do, girly. I’m gone for six months and all of a sudden, you’re into boys? What’s that all about?"
I shrugged. "Give me your keys."
He handed them to me, and I opened the door as he jumped in the passenger side. Drake came out the front door and crossed the yard to wrap me in his arms. "I’m sorry, Birdie."
Spreading my hands over his chest above his heart, I stared up into his eyes. "I know I have to tell you why, but I can’t… not right now. I need a few minutes."
He pressed his lips to my forehead and let me go. "I’ll be waiting."
I jumped in the truck and backed out of the driveway, feeling bad for leaving him there to face my family without me.
"What’s wrong?" Mike asked.
"Nothing," I mumbled.
"You should never bullshit a bullshitter."
I laughed. How many times had I heard that saying over the years? "They made me hold Hannah."
"And?"
"Shit, Mike. I like to keep things to myself."
"I get that," he said and stared out the window. "I screwed up, you know. Mellie thinks I cheated on her."
I waited for him to continue. It'd been years and neither of them had ever said anything about what happened.
"When you… love someone, Birdie, you should tell them… everything. You close yourself off and pretty soon you’re going to find you lose everything that matters to you."
I waited in the truck while he went in to buy the beer, and then we drove back. How long would Drake be patient with me? I had to tell him why I couldn’t handle holding babies, but I didn’t know how. I’d never talked about it with anyone.
Chapter Eighteen
Drake
Standing in front of Orion and Clo’s house, I watched her drive away with Mike. Was she that angry I’d made her hold her niece? She’d seemed petrified. I wandered back inside.
"She’ll be back in a minute. They went on a beer run," Mellie said as I passed through the kitchen and back to the deck.
Orion looked at me, and I shrugged. "She went on a beer run."
"Well then." He stood up. "Now is the perfect time for us to talk about her."
He led the way to the garage and slid the door open. A sleek black GTO took up center stage and I whistled under my breath. "Sweet ride."
"Yeah." Orion nodded and crossed his arms as he leaned against the wall.
I took a spot on the opposite wall.
"What do you know about my sister?" He was trying to fill the father role, and I understood, but I didn’t like being questioned.
"Enough," I answered.
"Enough?" He cocked an eyebrow and planted a boot on the wall behind him. "Knowing my sister, that’s nowhere near enough."
"Maybe you don’t know her as well as you think you do."
He surged forward to get in my face. "You’re not the kind of man I ever pictured my little sister with. I know your kind. You’re only interested in what you can get from her."
I crossed my arms over my chest and stared him down. "You have no idea. You’re making assumptions that make you look like an ass."
He walked over to the car and ran his hand over the shiny metal. "I won’t let you screw with her. She’s fragile."
I cocked an eyebrow. "Do you even know your sister? She’s not as fragile as you think."
He turned to face me and leaned against the trunk. "You’re the first guy she’s given the time of day."
"I know that." I glanced at the floor. "I’m not going to fuck with her."
At the sound of her voice, we both glanced at the garage door. Orion straightened, and I followed him out of the garage.
"There you are." She rushed me, and I embraced her as Orion shot daggers at me over her head. He really needed to drop the threatening act. He wasn’t terribly good at it. If I was going to threaten a man, he was going to be on the floor with my fist in his face. The semantics were easy. Actions always spoke louder than words.
I gazed down at her. "You okay?"
"Yeah." Her gaze didn’t quite connect with mine.
"What was all that about?"
She lifted her shoulders and waved a hand in the air. "I was so scared I was going to drop her."
I pulled her into my side and we went to join the others. Somehow, I couldn’t believe that was all it was.
Over the course of the next few hours, I watched her. Laughing with the others, she seemed to relax, but I could see the tightness along her jaw line. She kept her distance from Orion and Clodagh too, until they took Hannah inside. Slipping her hand into mine, her shoulders dropped and she rested her head against the back of the seat. I squeezed her hand, pulling her up and settling her between my legs where she belonged.
"Do you want to get out of here?" she whispered.
"Yeah." I tightened my arms around her waist so she could feel how just the thought of getting her alone affected me.
She chuckled. "Always?"
"Every damn time."
"See you guys later," she said to Mellie and Mike. "Tell Orion we had to go."
She stood up and grabbed my hand, dragging me with her.
***
I stopped the bike in her driveway and she climbed off.
"I’m sorry we ganged up on you." I took hold of her hand and tugged her back to me.
She gave me a tight smile. "I overreacted."
I wasn’t sure that was the case at all. "Tell me."
She opened her mouth and snapped it shut. "Seriously, it’s nothing. I’m just scared to hold babies."
So why had it sounded like so much more when she’d taken off with Mike, and why couldn’t she look me straight in the eye when she said it?
"It’s more than nothing."
She rubbed at her arm as she glanced at the ground. When she looked up her eyes shone. "I’ve never told anyone."
"Open up to me, Birdie. Tell me."
She hesitated. "I need more time."
I still held things back from her. I could only let her do the same. "Okay, darlin’, but one day you’re going to have to tell me."
She tried to tug her hand away from me, but I gripped it harder and hauled her onto my lap. She squealed and squeezed my hand as I balanced her on the tank between my legs. "What are you doing?"
I braced her with a palm to her thigh and swept her hair over her shoulder to nibble at her neck. "I need to ask you to do something for me."
She leaned into me and tilted he
r head back as I scooted my hand down her side and spread my palm over her belly.
"Since when do you ask for things?"
Resting my chin in her hair, I took a breath. "I want you to come with me when I see Will. He’s my… sponsor. After… the last few days. He’s coming to visit."
I held my breath as I waited for her to answer. My heart hammered. This was the moment she would choose to step into my world, or to walk away. Meeting Will would only cement what I’d told her, making it real.
She twisted in my arms, and I let go of her. Sliding away from her, I clenched my jaw and prepared to let her walk away. My heart stopped beating and I rubbed at the ache that was building there. She grasped my shirt to keep from losing her balance, and I caught at her elbow as she tucked a leg up between us and swung it over the other side of the bike. Staring up at me with those eyes of hers, she laid her palms to my face. "I’d love to."
I brushed my nose against hers. "I thought you were going to walk away from me."
"I can’t." She wound her arms around my neck and clung to me. "When do I meet him?"
I disentangled myself from her long enough to get off the bike before I carried her toward the house. "Tomorrow."
Birdie
Drake kicked the stand down on the bike, and I clambered off.
Taking my helmet, he grinned at me as I finger combed my hair. "Darlin’, one day I am going to bend you over the seat of my bike and that hair of yours will be the least of your worries."
His words sent a thrill through me and I bit my lip to keep the grin at bay. He leaned against the bike and pulled me into him. How could this man sport a never-ending erection? Two times this morning before we came to see Will, and he still wasn’t sated. I didn’t care. He affected me the same way.
The soft pad of his thumb traced over my jaw line. "No regrets for sticking around?"
"No regrets," I whispered. This was where I belonged. The idea that he could fall into old habits scared me, but I wouldn’t abandon him because of my fear. He and I, we were stronger together.
He stood up and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. "Will’s waiting for us."
We approached the lone figure leaning against the rail outside the diner. I don’t know what I'd expected, but he was not it. Will stood as we closed the distance and broke into an easy grin, exposing perfectly white teeth. Hands in his pockets, he walked toward us with a stiff gait. His black eyes shone with warmth as he clasped Drake’s arm and ran his gaze over me before turning it back to Drake. "It’s good to see you, man."