by Unknown
"They won’t care that you stayed away so long. They’ll be happy to have you back."
He crushed me to him, and I could hear his heavy breath against my ear. "Without you…"
I nodded and took his hand to lead him out of the apartment. "I’m driving."
***
Dropping my hand, he ushered me in to the restaurant in front of him. I clasped my hand to my throat at the sea of nameless faces in front of me and backed up a step. Hands on my shoulders, he pushed me forward. "Don’t back out on me now, darlin’."
I took a deep breath and my stomach growled. I sniffed the air trying to work out what the smell wafting toward me was. Squaring my shoulders, I took a canapé from a waitress who carried a large white platter and followed Drake into the crush.
I lost him soon after that as person, after person, introduced themselves to me, and I’d glance up to find him talking to someone new.
"You must be Birdie?" She had a strong jaw, and clear blue eyes that evaluated my worth from under a bob of salt and pepper hair. "Leo told me about you."
"Oh."
"Thank you for bringing my son back to me." Although she was shorter than me, she pulled me in for a hug that left me struggling to breathe. "I hope you two are serious about each other."
I nodded my head, uncertain of what to say to her.
She patted my arm. "Make him bring you to the house one day soon."
"Okay."
She ambled back to her seat, and I went to sit at the bar. Shredding a coaster, I ordered a drink and watched Drake. He was talking animatedly to his mom and Louisa’s parents and his hands moved with fluid grace. A grin emerged on his face, and the sound of mixed laughter reached me. Picking up another coaster, I turned it in my hands, tapping each corner against the bar.
He fit with these people. I swiveled on my stool to stare into my drink. They had a bond. One of love and of loss that had affected them all, and I didn’t belong with them, not on this night. I’d caught their glances as I talked to them. They’d looked at me with pity. As if they knew, deep down, I could never replace Hailey, and it was foolish for me to try.
I didn’t want to replace her. She had been an important part of his life, and no one had the right to change that. But, I loved him, and seeing them take him in and dart glances at me that spoke of how much I could never belong, stung.
"Hey, you’re the girl who was at the restaurant that night." Louisa took a seat beside me. I twisted my drink in my hand as I shot her a sideways glance and nodded.
"I’m sorry. I’ve forgotten your name."
"It’s Birdie." I offered before staring into my glass. Her gaze was fixated on me, and I wanted to shrink from her.
"Are you his girlfriend?"
I didn’t know whether to answer that with a yes or no. "We’re friends."
She ordered a drink. "He’s charming, isn’t he?"
"He’s amazing." Heat rushed into my cheeks, and I touched my hand to my mouth, wishing I hadn’t vocalized my thoughts.
"Yes he is. I had a crush on him once, before Hailey and he got together. I think… you need to be careful not to get too attached."
"Why’s that?" I swung to face her.
"He’s haunted. He’s never really going to put Hailey or Poppy behind him."
"Poppy?" I chewed my cheek as I tried to decipher her words.
She nodded slowly and pursed her lips together. "I don’t think anyone can get over losing their family like that. Maybe one day he’ll tell you about it."
Maybe he would, but then again maybe he wouldn’t. He hadn’t told me about someone named Poppy at all, and here was Louisa telling me his secrets as if they were everyday conversation. "Can you excuse me?"
"Yes," she said. She stopped me as I passed her stool and put her hand on mine. "Sorry," she said. "I didn’t mean to upset you, but I know he keeps things close, and I figured you really ought to know."
I still didn’t know what she was talking about. Skirting the room, I looked for an exit and stumbled out the back door into the brisk night. It was dark, and I shuddered when I realized I wasn’t alone. I backed up a little and a stack of boxes behind me tumbled to the ground. The noise made my heart jump. The glowing red end of a cigarette moved toward me and then the man behind it stepped out of the shadows, and I breathed a sigh of relief. "Leo?"
He grabbed my hand to steady me. "What are you doing out here?"
"I needed some air," I said backing away from him. "Who’s Poppy?"
He looked at me with hard eyes as he sucked on the cigarette. "He hasn’t told you?"
I shook my head. "I know I should ask him, but…"
"My brother likes to keep to himself." He moved closer, herding me back against the wall. "But then I think you do too."
I shrugged. Leo seemed dangerous, and under other circumstances, I would have been scared, but he was Drake’s brother, and the impression I’d gotten on first meeting him was that he was much more bark than he was bite. I stepped toward him. Leo wouldn’t hurt me.
"I’ll ask him, after."
Leo sagged against the wall beside me. "I like you, Birdie. You seem… good for him. So, I’m going to tell you what you want to know. I don’t want you to talk to him about anything I say, until you decide whether you can deal with it."
I gulped air and nodded.
"Poppy was… would have been my niece."
Oh god, I wanted him to stop. I didn’t want to hear the rest of what he had to say.
"Drake wanted a big family." Leo crossed his arms over his chest. "Hailey was pregnant when the accident happened. She was a little under nine months at the time. Drake was the first one on the scene. He couldn’t save her. He couldn’t save either of them. Can you imagine what happens to a man who can’t protect his own family?"
I nodded. My throat was blocked and tears were threatening to squeeze from the corners of my eyes.
"It’s why he became an OB doctor. He lost his family. He wasn’t going to let that happen to anyone else." Leo closed his eyes as he took another drag of his cigarette. "It wrecked him, Birdie."
"I know," I whispered. His pain was my own, only he had nothing to be guilty for. He’d used his pain to help others.
"What are you two talking about?" The door slammed behind Drake as he glanced at both of us. "Leo?"
Leo dropped his cigarette and ground it out with the heel of his shoe, before he sauntered past Drake and clasped his shoulder. "Nothing you shouldn’t have told her already, brother."
Drake crumpled in on himself, his gaze tracking Leo as he went inside. He thrust his hands into his pockets and trod toward me. "He told you about Poppy?"
I closed my eyes as I nodded. I didn’t want him to see how affected I was. He took the spot on the wall beside me and clasped my chin. "I guess I should have told you."
I wished he had. "It was yours to tell. I shouldn’t have asked, but Louisa…"
"She warned you away?"
"Yes. She said you would never get over Poppy, and now I understand why."
"Hmmm, she’s right. I never will, but that’s my past. We always remember don’t we, people like you and I?"
"Yes," I whispered.
He brushed his lips over mine. "We have no secrets now, do we?" He stared into my eyes, and I clung to his gaze, scared that if I looked away he would see how much I was truly hiding from him. How was I supposed to tell him that while he was losing his baby in an accident, I’d done the only thing I could and made a choice? One that stuck with me all these years later and never let me forget.
"I…" I cleared my throat. I needed to tell him everything. I owed him that, but the words stuck in my throat.
"Drake, can you come inside? Mom wants to talk to you before we head out." Louisa stood in the doorway, her lips pursed as she flicked her glance from Drake to me. "It’ll only be a few minutes."
He shoved his hand through his hair and stepped toward her. "Sure."
I watched him walk away. I should let h
im go, shouldn’t I? Not just walk away from me in this alley, but walk away from me forever. It would be easier than parting with my secrets. The wall cradled me as I tried to regain my composure. It would be easier, but it wasn’t what I wanted. I wanted him and I’d be damned if I let him go because I was too scared to face my fears. I’d been nothing without him, a broken shell of a girl who was barely living. He made me feel alive. He made me stronger and able to face my past. Hell, he’d helped me eradicate it. For too long, I’d thought no one would understand what I’d gone through, what I’d done, but my heart told me he would.
I walked into the building to find Leo waiting inside the door for me. "Did he tell you?"
"He didn’t need to," I said. "You told me enough."
"Perhaps." He shrugged.
I felt the urge to qualify what had happened, to produce reason for my thoughts. "It doesn’t matter now. It’s the past."
Leo grimaced, his shoulders bouncing as he chuckled silently. "All right, darlin’. If that’s what you really think."
I spun toward him. Hearing him use Drake’s term for me in such an uncomplimentary manner stunned me. I couldn't read his expression, his lips tight as he tapped a cigarette from its case and held it between his lips. Jamming a hand on my hip, I glared at him. "Why are you such an asshole?"
He sniggered and this time the heavy timbre of his voice rattled through. "Because, girly, deep down you women are all alike. You’re fooling yourself if you think it’s in the past. You’re not as innocent as you like to pretend you are."
"Are you ready to go?"
I had never been so grateful to hear Drake’s voice. I inched away from Leo. "It was nice talking to you."
Drake rested his hand on my back as he glared at his brother. I clasped his arm, feeling how rigid he was. How much had he heard? Leo tipped his head in my direction and grinned. "Until the next time, darlin’."
Drake seemed to tense up more at Leo’s use of the endearment, but he pressed his lips to my hair and guided me out of the restaurant.
We drove back to his apartment, and I darted glances at him as he stared straight ahead, his mouth tight and his hands pressed to his legs.
"You’re brother is… interesting," I said, trying to break the silence.
"That’s not the word I’d use for him," he growled. "He’s damaged, Birdie, and that makes him dangerous. I want you to keep your distance."
"What happened to him?"
"He took Hailey’s death hard too. He blamed himself. It… wasn’t his fault. I knew that, but I couldn’t help him. I couldn’t help myself. When I moved out of Carlton, so did he. He took a job on a cruise ship doing photography. We didn’t talk for years, and then one day he called and told me he was moving home. That he was sorry Hailey had died, but he realized he didn’t have to hold himself accountable for her death. He told me he was getting married." Leaning his elbow on the window, he rested his head on his hand. "I was pretty fucked up at that point. I couldn’t even be happy for him. Mostly, I didn’t care."
I parked the car and we walked to the elevator. "He’s not married now is he?"
He shook his head. "No, he never got married, and he never talked about it, but he’s been a bit of a bastard ever since."
"Not to you, though?" We entered the lift, and I swept my gaze to him.
"I wouldn’t put it past him." He hit the button and the lift started to ascend.
"I think you’re overreacting." I threaded my fingers through his hair and tried to tug him to me.
"I think he’s fucked my girl before."
Wide eyed, I stared at him. "Hailey?"
"Yeah," he growled. "And he wasn’t half as fucked up as he is now."
I didn’t know what I was supposed to say to that. Until now, I had believed the woman who had been Drake's life had been perfect, but she'd broken two men. One I loved, and the other was irreparably ruined. "You forgave them both?"
"We were kids. Kids do stupid shit." He shifted me back against the wall, his body covering mine. "But I wouldn’t forgive him if it was you."
"I can deal with your brother, but you’re the only man who can handle me."
He crowded me, his hands on my face. His nose an inch from mine, his gaze pulled me into him. "You’re mine, and I don’t trust him."
"But you trust me?"
He exhaled audibly. "You know everything about me, and you haven’t run. I more than trust you."
Keeping me prisoner, he cupped my face between his hands when the doors slid open. I gulped as I waited for him to speak or move. His lips parted briefly, before he closed them again and took my hand to pull me down the corridor to his apartment. His determined stride and his lingering gaze in the elevator had heat unfurling in my belly that wouldn’t be satisfied until he’d shown me that he owned me. That he would never let another man touch me. Words would never be enough. He unlocked the door and ushered me inside, pulling me into his arms as he kicked the door shut with his foot. Heat surged through me, making my panties wet.
"Fuck me, Drake. Show me I’m yours."
"No," he whispered with such tenderness as he turned me to face him and cupped my cheek.
"Please, Drake."
"I want…" he stared into my eyes as his fingers brushed my hair to the side. With a groan, he lowered his mouth to mine, his lips brushing over mine in a silken caress. I parted my lips and he darted his tongue to touch mine. He wasn't taking me, devouring me as he usually did. This kiss made me melt into him, my legs quivering as he wove a spell of longing and vulnerability that made my chest ache. I reached up to put my arms around his neck as he cradled me against his chest.
He slid his hands down my sides and over my ass to haul me into his arms and strode into the bedroom. His lips lingered on mine until he put me down on the bed. Climbing on beside me, his fingers worked the knot in the ties on my halter. Slowly he let it fall. He pushed me back, lacing my skin with kisses from my mouth to my breasts.
"Drake?" I tangled my hands in his hair, unsure of how to react to his tenderness.
His lips blazed a trail as he worked his way down my stomach, and I lifted my hips so he could remove my dress completely.
He stood as he undressed, his gaze never leaving me. "All I do is fuck you. Is that what you think?"
I didn’t know the right answer to his question. For me that was enough. That he wanted me so much he couldn’t control himself. That he needed all of me was enough. That I loved him was enough.
Kneeling on the floor, he pulled me to him. "These tattoos on my chest, do you know what they mean?"
I ran my fingers over them. "You said they meant you needed to fuck me."
"You didn’t believe that."
"No. I figured they meant strength after you told me about your addiction."
"But after tonight?"
"I see them now," I whispered.
"They meant so much to me they destroyed me. I wanted the reminder that feeling so much wasn’t worth it."
"You survived."
"I wouldn’t call what I did surviving. I was barely going through the motions. For a time there, I’m not sure I was even doing that."
"But you’re still here."
"I am, and more than that. I’m alive." He placed my hand over his heart. "You did that."
I shook my head. My eyes glazed with tears I wouldn’t let slip. "You were fine before you met me."
"No. I wasn’t." His grip on me tightened. "You have no idea how much you mean to me. Let me show you."
Pushing me down again, he lifted my knees to bring me closer. He kissed one knee and then slowly layered kisses down the inside of my leg, his hot breath cooling each spot as he went. I shivered as he took his time with my other leg. The heat inside me filled my core with each drag over my increasingly sensitive skin. My breath tore from me and I threaded my hands through his hair to pull him down to where I wanted him. He dragged a fingertip down the inside of my thigh to hover over my clit, and I whimpered at the sensatio
n of being touched when he had yet to lay a finger on the sensitive nub. When he dipped his head to press his lips to my mound, I shuddered with need. "Please."
He brushed his lips down over my clit, his tongue darting out to drag over the nerves that set me on fire, causing my hips to buck into his mouth and my back to arch. Probing deeper, he slid his tongue over my slit to taste my arousal. A high-pitched whimper exploded from me at the intense sensation he brought forth when he flicked into me, pulling me apart, making me crumble around him. "More."
I clutched the sheets as he slowly pushed a finger in and out of me and lavished my clit with his tongue. My body rose and fell with each caress until I couldn’t take it any longer. "I want you inside me. I need you."
He lifted his head. "Soon, darlin’."
"Now." I grasped for him, but he bowed his head and sucked my clit between his lips, sending me over the edge. I shuddered as my skin became too sensitive, and I clawed at the sheets as I scrambled backward on the bed. He climbed over me, resting his hips in the cradle of my legs. His palms cupping my face, he gazed into my eyes. "I never thought a girl like you would come along. You’ve ruined me. You’ve taken what I was and turned me into a man who can never get enough of you. I’ll never be able to walk away from you. Never be able to consider a future without you in it."
Oh god, I loved this man. The way his body fit with mine, and that he wasn’t afraid I would break when he told me his secrets. I didn’t know how it had happened but I trusted his words, and the way he was with me. Somewhere along the way I’d let go of my belief that I couldn’t make decisions. His greatest gift to me had been pushing me to make decisions and trusting in my own choices. Cupping his face, I tilted my head up to kiss him. His breath shuddered over me as I stroked my lips across his in a slow attentive caress. "You’re mine, Drake. Show me how you belong to me."
Wrapping his arms around me, he rolled us over until I was on top. I straddled his hips, feeling his cock resting between my thighs, and wrapped my hand around his length until his hips rose with each stroke. He ran his hands over my body, his fingertips exploring each dip, and hollow, and curve. Sitting up he cupped my hips, lifting me. Our tongues danced a slow dance that left me breathless and clinging to him. The tip of his erection pulsed inside me, making me ache to feel all of him, filling me, making him part of me.