“Don’t give me that. You know what I mean, trying to talk to him every chance you get, hanging around, hoping he sees you.” Jack paused and pointed his finger at her. “Mark my word: One day, you’re going to get more of that man than you bargained for. When he slits your throat, none of us will be around to help you.”
His words caught her off guard. Alarmed at the idea of Del killing her, Ellen stared at her father. He glared at her and she shuddered at the hate burning there. Maybe it was his feelings for the native showing in his eyes, she rationalized. “I do try to avoid him, Pa, and only speak to him when spoken to.” She stared at her feet so he wouldn’t guess her true feelings. “I do talk with him only so he won’t be angry and start a warpath or something with us.”
Jack snorted. “Well, I suppose as long as you weren’t too friendly, making him want to carry you off like that other animal wanted to do back there.” He smirked and spit on the ground. “Yeah, I heard about that. You need to stop being so whorish with them.” He paused before tossing the milk cows’ lead ropes to her. “Although, that would make one less mouth to feed around here. Let you be someone else’s problem for a change.” He laughed and then stopped when he saw her face. “Just joshing. You help out enough. It’s no trouble having you around. Lucy needs the help with the boys, so it’s good having you with us.”
“Thank you, Pa. I appreciate you saying so.” She tilted down her chin. Hoping she struck a demure pose, Ellen wished she were a man. A man would get on his horse, maybe make a rude gesture to Pa, and ride off into the mountains.
“You’re welcome. Just keep up on the chores and stop jaw jacking with that animal and you’ll do fine.”
She nodded, and using chores as a reason to escape, began backing away from him. “Yes, sir, if you’ll excuse me.”
His attention caught by Sam at another family’s nearby wagon, Jack waved her away and headed in the trail leader’s direction. “See you at dinner,” he called over his shoulder.
Ellen let their cows get a drink at the water’s edge before staking them out for the night. Returning to unhitch the oxen, she then let them drink before being staked out with the others. She petted each animal. The poor creatures looked as tired as she felt. She saw a lot of other people caring for their livestock too. Ellen searched for but didn’t see Del nearby. She almost enjoyed the certain danger in talking to a man her father detested.
Did Pa know how much more appealing his order made Del? She chuckled. Probably not, or he’d burst a blood vessel. Pa had been nagging Ellen about what a bother she’d been since the boys were born. A person would think he’d be encouraging any man with two legs to take her off his hands. Even a damned dirty Indian, as he liked to call them.
The cows needed milking and she’d need to get fresh cooking water for the beans and rice. She hurried back to the wagon for a jar and a pail for milking. A quick scoop of water half filled the jar, and she kneeled with a pail by one of the cows. Milking gave her quiet time to think, so she took the chance. Her Pa’s words about Del pushed their way to the front of her mind.
Yes, heaven forbid she like a man so beneficial to her family. Maybe she’d encourage Del to cart her off to be his slave. Then her father wouldn’t have anything to complain about concerning her. He’d have no reason make snide comments like “You’re eating our food; you’re taking up too much space in our wagon; or when will you pay your own way?” Even better? She’d not have to feel guilty for breathing every day of her life.
A smart, dutiful daughter who wanted to help her family would set her cap for Uncle Joe, even if he were older than her Pa. She’d marry him and forget all about the dangerous and attractive French-Indian with the kind eyes. The same one who’d saved their lives and seemed awfully protective of the entire group.
When done with the milking cow, she headed for the wagon to start dinner. A fire burned hot while Ellen fixed their usual beans and rice mix. The soup cooked as she mixed flour and water with some salt. She stirred the biscuit dough with sharp, hard beats, still irritated at her father’s order to ignore Del. She floured her hands and mashed the balls of dough into flat shapes a little too hard. Her palms ached afterward. Rolling the last bit of mix into a ball, she poked two eyeholes with the tip of her finger and made a frowning mouth with her fingernail. She wrinkled her nose at the little face and punched it. Childish, Ellen acknowledged as she turned the mangled face into a regular biscuit, but fun nonetheless.
“Ellen? Oh, there you are! You’ve started supper? Good girl! Your father will be so pleased.”
She straightened at her stepmother’s appearance. The woman had a freshly bathed little Buster on her hip. Ellen rubbed the doughy flour from her hands and tickled him under the chin, smiling at his giggle. She replied to Lucy, “I’m glad. It needs to cook a while longer, so I hope he’s not in any hurry.”
“I saw him with Mr. Norman earlier. Looked like they’ll be visiting for a while, solving all the country’s problems.”
Ellen grinned at her stepmother. “Then we may be a while.” Both ladies knew how much Jack liked to debate.
“What may be a while, Ellen?”
She turned to her father, still grinning. “Hello, Pa. We thought you might be talking with Mr. Norm—”
“I’m here now and hungry.” He squatted down by the fire and breathed in deep before winking at his wife. “Smells good, honey.”
“Thank you, dearest.” Lucy glanced over at Ellen and shook her head a little. “It’s just more of the same until we get to our new home.”
He dipped a biscuit into the broth, wetting it before taking a bite. “Mmmm,” he hummed before swallowing. “This is wonderful. You get better every day.”
“Oh, well, it’s just—”
“No.” Jack waved her off with a spoon. “No need to be modest. Dinner is perfect, m’dear.” He nodded over at his daughter. “Give Ellen lessons so she can catch a man, will ya?”
The women and children began eating. Halfway through her dinner, Lucy asked Ellen, “You won’t mind watching Buster will you, dear?”
She’d much rather spend her time playing with the baby than washing up. “Not at all. It’ll be nice to care for such a sweetheart. He’s much cuter than the animals and dirty dishes.”
Lucy frowned at first before smiling. “You’re right, and look, the poor baby is sleepy. Maybe it’s best I put him down for the night and let you hurry to your chores.”
“I don’t mind,” she offered, knowing she’d already lost this battle.
Jack held up his dish and utensils for Ellen to take. “The child needs his mother. Get going and I might let you visit that Granville man. He ain’t married yet so you might have a chance at him.”
“Thank you, Pa.” She stood and made quick work of gathering plates and the cook pot. When Lucy started to spread out their beds, Ellen almost sighed in relief that someone else did that chore. She left the light’s circle, easing closer to the river.
The night insects hummed in the chilly air. Twilight lingered in the sky. She breathed in deep the fragrance of a warm breeze rising from the sun-heated ground. Every place they’d been had its own scent. Sage overpowered everything and had since Fort Laramie, she figured. But when the wagon wheels stilled, Ellen enjoyed the prairie grass and river water aromas. She blurted out a disgusted noise aloud and with “Oh, God, spare us!” when thinking of the other smells too, like fresh cow chips and rotten meat from dead animals. She glanced around to see if anyone had heard her speaking without thinking. No one was close so she finished up the wash.
She hurried back to their camp when she heard the soft music of Lucky’s bugle from the Granville camp. All the Winslows were on their bedrolls, Buster asleep and Skeeter nearly so. She nodded to Pa and Lucy while easing the wash bucket to the ground. Nothing rattled and she straightened before going to Skeeter. She knelt down, giving him a kiss on the forehead. “Goodnight, little buddy.”
“’Night, sis. Say hey to Mr. Do Bose for me.”
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“Of course.” She glanced up to see her father staring daggers at her. Ellen gave him a slight shake of her head to reassure him she wouldn’t talk to Del at all. Pa’s expression eased.
“Be back before too long, girl. And have that Lucky boy walk you home again. I like him.”
“I’ll try.” Ellen stood, stepping away from her brother before shaking the dirt from her skirt. “I’ll ask as soon as I can.” At Jack’s nod, she left for Sam’s camp. The further she walked, the easier she breathed. When thinking of encouraging Lucky or Sam to court her, she made a little gagging sound. She’d sooner marry Del than either of them. Ellen stopped short at the idea. Marry him? Did those people even have a marriage vow or did they just capture and enslave the woman they wanted? She looked up at the sky, wondering how to ask Del without insulting him yet again.
“Ma’am?”
She startled a little and turned to see Lefty standing with a rifle slung over his back. Ellen didn’t remember the last time she’d heard him speak and replied, “Oh, yes?”
“Can I help you with something?”
“No, I’m fine.” Maybe if Lefty was around more, Pa would be satisfied for the rest of the trip and stop working so hard to find prospective husbands for her. On an impulse she asked, “Are you going to Mr. Granville’s campfire?”
“Afraid not, ma’am. I’m on watch duty at the moment.”
She took a step forward and smiled when he did the same. “I see. I’m sorry if I’ve caused problems for you and everyone else at the trading post. I didn’t mean to do so.”
He fell in step with her. “You didn’t do anything, ma’am. Some people just can’t take no for an answer. Don’t matter if they’re us or them, I reckon.”
“Thank you for saying that, Mr. Lefty.”
“It’s the truth, ma’am.” He paused at the edge of the company’s wagon and nodded at the group. “Here you are. Have a nice evening.”
She said, “I appreciate the escort, sir.” Lefty tipped his hat and disappeared into the night. Ellen turned to the fire where Uncle Joe whittled while Lucky polished the bugle. Del and Sam sat across from the two with Arnold up on the wagon’s tailgate above them, reading. They all looked up at her when she drew closer to them. “Good evening, gentlemen. I didn’t realize I’d be the only lady here.”
Sam waved her over to his side of the fire. “You won’t be the only one, just the first. Please have a seat.”
“Take mine, mademoiselle. It’s extra soft.” Del slid away even further from Sam and patted the folded blanket between them. “You’ll be safe here.”
She accepted their offer only because she knew Pa slept. As soon as she settled in, Ellen felt much too aware of Del sitting beside her. He still wore Sam’s clothes. She glanced at him as much as possible without turning her head. His skin glowed in the dim light. She stole a peek at his hands as they rested on his knees. He kept his nails short and clean. She glanced up and across the fire away from him; surprised he’d be so meticulous.
Lucky waved to Marie as she entered the fire’s light. “Mrs. Warren! Come over and sit with us.” Uncle Joe leaned over and said something in his ear. Lucky grinned. “If you’re free to, of course.”
“I am free, thank you for asking.” She settled in next to Uncle Joe and opposite the fire from Sam, Del, Ellen, and Arnold. “Thank you too, Joe, for assuming my dance card is full.”
The elder man grinned at her. “You’re welcome, little lady.”
A rustle and Mr. Warren stepping up grabbed everyone’s attention. “There you are, dearest! Thank you for cooking dinner. There’s none left, it was so very good.” Charles settled in beside Marie. “Hester is washing up and might join us later.”
Ellen swallowed down the rising bile in her throat at Mr. Warren’s mention of his sister. She would never have believed two people could be so craven until she’d encountered them. She leaned a little closer to Del. “I don’t suppose siblings have improper relationships among your people, do they, Mr. Du Bois?” she asked in a quiet voice.
“Que? Why ask such a thing?”
She almost laughed in surprise at the disgust in his expression. “No?”
“No, it’s not something I’d expect you to ask.”
Sam cleared his throat and kept his voice low. “Rules and society become more lax out on the trail, I’ve seen.”
Del also kept his tone quiet. “If Miss Winslow’s curiosity is piqued, these two must take it too far, mon ami.”
She tried resisting being loud and nosy but just couldn’t keep silent. “Will you evict them from our group, Mr. Granville? Especially when everyone else learns of their crimes?”
He gave her a sad smile. “It’s something I mull over during every quiet moment I have.”
Ellen nodded, patting Sam’s arm in reassurance. He didn’t need to mention his feelings for Marie. If everyone knew what she, Sam, and Del did, Charles and Hester would be left alone to find their own way west. A movement outside the fire’s circle of light caught her eye as someone approached.
“Whew! Isn’t this a lovely night?” asked Hester, taking her brother’s offered hand and sitting down beside him. “The river was so pretty, moonlight glinting off of it as if someone had thrown pearls.” Hester sighed. “I could have stayed there at the bank all night.”
Charles leaned back on his elbows, legs stretched out in front. “It was a sight.”
Ellen was certain her face betrayed her disgust and tried to hide it. Not everyone knows, she chided her lapse in control. She put on a neutral expression, the one she used when hiding her anger from her father. If Marie saw Ellen’s true feelings, it might hurt her and that would never do. Glancing at Sam to see his reaction, she almost laughed aloud. He shared her disgust and she patted his arm to catch his attention. She shook her head and he chuckled, putting his hand over hers. She felt his muscles relax under her touch and they both looked at Marie.
As the younger Warren disappeared into the dark, Sam asked Ellen, “Now where is she going?”
Del leaned over to his friend while tapping her shoulder. “Should one of us follow madam in case we have unexpected guests?”
“Yes, one of us should and I vote me.” Sam eased to his feet. “Pardonez moi?”
“D’accord.” He watched the other man leave for a moment. Turning his attention to Ellen, he said, “Now we are alone.”
She returned his ornery grin. “In this crowd? I hardly think so.”
“We can be alone here.” He indicated the others with a nod. “See? They each have their own distractions.”
“Maybe so, but—” A distant scream interrupted her, the sound echoing from the north. “Marie?”
Before she could say anything else, Del and Joe jumped to their feet. Joe spoke first. “Did you hear the splash too?”
“Yes,” Del said. “Blankets, si’l vous plait, immediamant.” He didn’t wait for a reply, sprinting off in Joe’s direction.
Fueled by panic, Ellen hurried to the Granville wagon with Arnold close behind. She grabbed any available blankets as he took a lantern. He motioned to the remaining Warrens. “Sir, take a lantern, ma’am, you too.”
She didn’t hear anything but their group’s footsteps while hurrying through the night. Arnold was there already, judging by how his light up ahead didn’t move. Charles barreled past her and went on. Ellen struggled to catch up and as she neared, she heard him say, “What the hell were you doing, Marie?”
“I accidently fell into the river.” She took the blanket Ellen gave her. “Thank you.”
Charles retorted, “I know accidently; I didn’t think you did this on purpose. Good thing you were headed northwest. No way am I back tracking just for you.”
Marie looked at Sam with a weak smile. “There’s no need to worry about it. I’m here safe and sound.” Before her husband could say anything else, she added, “You’re tired and cranky. Why don’t we get some sleep before tomorrow?”
“Thanks for saving her wor
thless hide.” Charles reached out his hand to Sam.
Wrapping up in the blanket Ellen also gave him, Sam hesitated before shaking Warren’s hand. “Keeping her alive is my job, sir.” He shivered. “Mrs. Warren, you might consider putting on dry clothes and getting warm before catching your death.”
Marie nodded. “I will, and I appreciate you saving me tonight. It might have been the Pacific before I could reach shore without your help.”
“If you all will excuse me, I’m very tired and am going to bed,” said Sam as he walked back to camp. Joe and Lucky fell in step behind him.
Ellen stayed with her friend and the Warrens as they walked back. No one spoke and when they passed the Granville camp she saw how Arnold and Lefty waited for them at the campfire, all their beds laid out for them. She shivered, suddenly realizing how long she’d been without warmth. Ellen turned to say goodnight to Marie, but they’d gone. Growing colder by the minute, she hurried back to her own bed.
Once back at the family campfire, she saw Pa reading in the waning light. He glanced up at her and sneered. A shock of fear raced through her. Did he know about her sitting next to Del this evening? She took another shaky step forward before seeing he held a very familiar book. “Is that my journal?”
“Yes.” He turned a page. “I thought I might see how far we’ve been.”
She began breathing again after his answer. Ellen intentionally left out a lot every evening, omitting anything that might have infuriated him during the day. If he didn’t remember, he wouldn’t complain or get angry all over again. Warming her hands from the fire, she offered, “Some of the writing might be poor. The embers grew dim before I could finish on a few nights or so.”
He nodded his approval, handing the book back to her. “You’ve not written about some of the people I don’t like. Good.”
Ellen paused to take the journal, checking to see if her stubby pencil was still tucked in the middle. “I figured you wouldn’t want to remember them once we’re at our new home.”
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