Lucy broke into her thoughts. “I noticed some currants ready for picking. How about tomorrow morning you and I gather some? It’ll be a nice treat for breakfast or lunch.”
“Sounds wonderful,” she said with a gusto she didn’t feel. Ellen shook the fog from her mind and stood. The sun began to set but still hovered above the west hills. Taking dishes and silver, she went to wash them for tomorrow. As she drew near the water, other men and women also cleaned their utensils. Like her, each had a bucket for carrying dishes.
Ellen brought the skirt to a little above her knees and knelt by the water. She scrubbed the dishes with clean sand, enjoying how clear the water was. Brilliant blues with hints of purple and orange reflected in the ripples. She wished her eyes were this brilliant like Jenny’s, a beautiful and flashy blue. Then maybe she’d be as lovely as Del treated her. Smiling, she liked how true to his French roots he stayed. Surely Indian men weren’t so poetic to their women. Otherwise, why would so many squaws marry French men? Something had to be lacking in the native male.
She traced a finger in the water, breaking up the fading colors’ reflection. Ellen wanted to put her feelings into a category. This affection she held for Del must be appreciation from the Green River incident and nothing more. She didn’t know his favorite color, where he was born, or even his birthday. She didn’t know how he liked his eggs cooked, if he had siblings, or even his parents’ names. How could this be anything more than gratitude when she knew so little about him? She picked up the bucket, now full of clean dishes. Turning around, Ellen bumped into Del as if her thoughts had conjured him from thin air. “Oh my! Excuse me, I didn’t mean to run over you.”
He grinned. “No harm done. I’ve been trampled by larger.”
“Than me? You flatter me.”
“C’est flatter? Non, no flattery, just truth. You’re a willow and I’ve been trampled by horses.”
He had a way of making her feel like a true beauty. She knew the reality, but still. Under the stars, Ellen almost believed him. “I suppose I’m tall and graceful?”
“Yes, those things plus everything else good in the world.”
She laughed at his florid language. “You distract me from my work, and I really need to return to camp.”
“May I escort you?” Del held out his arm for her to take.
She glanced around but saw no one nearby. Ellen rarely left the wagon circle after dark. Soon the watch would wonder where she was. “I’d like that.”
He pointed to the far end of the wagon train and over to her own family’s camp. “We could walk here to there and back?”
She realized Del wanted to take the longest way possible. “Let’s do. It’s a lovely night.”
“So it is.”
They strolled and Ellen enjoyed how slow both of them went. She glanced at him. He seemed even darker in the approaching night. The rising moon still hovered low on the eastern horizon, not enough to make his white shirt gleam. Most camps they passed were quiet and the fires burned low. The closer they came to her family, the further from them she wanted to be. Ellen felt sure Del would ride off soon. Right now might be her last chance to ever kiss a man without bribing or putting him in chains first. She stopped, glancing around to see if anyone around them stirred.
“Is something wrong, ma coeur?”
“No, I’m just wanting a rest,” she whispered. Seeing no one else, Ellen looked up into his eyes. Before he could offer a refusal, she put her hands on his shoulders and leaned forward. She loved the way he smelled, like summer prairie and rain with a little bit of leather adding spice. He didn’t move when their lips met and she shivered. His skin warmed hers and she pressed for more. Everywhere they touched seemed too much to bear until his hands gripped her waist. She’d been accustomed to the fading pain from Pa’s kick a few days ago.
At Del’s caress, she gasped in pain. The right side still hurt. He moaned in response and she almost laughed at his misunderstanding. When his palms landed on her lower back, she sighed. He’d found a place to touch her that didn’t ache.
Del growled, holding her hard against him. He moved his right hand up to the middle of her back, and holding her in place, kissed down her neck until her dress fabric stopped him. “Mon Dieu, I have died and met heaven with you, Ellen. I can’t help but make love to you tonight.”
Shame swept through her from his comment. Suddenly very embarrassed, she pushed him from her. “No, no, behave yourself.” Even in the dark she saw his surprise and tried to placate him. “The blame isn’t all yours. I forgot myself too. Thank you for stopping when I asked. You’re French and an Indian. What else did I expect but to be attacked tonight?”
He inhaled then narrowed his eyes. “You were not attacked by me tonight. Not now, not ever.”
That icy chill of saying too much and angering him raced along her nerves. She had to diffuse this and fast. Ellen lowered her voice to an even, and she hoped, calming tone. “No, of course it wasn’t an honest attack. You were just being true to yourself. The civilized part of you could only keep check for so long.” She smiled, trying to soften his scowl. He still looked very angry.
“Civilized part?”
“Yes, it’s obviously not as strong as your other half and I’m sorry, because I knew this and tempted you anyway.” She sensed he was still angry. Odd, because he’d been the one almost ravaging her. To placate him and prevent further trouble, Ellen added, “You acted so proper, gentlemanly, and even kind. I forgot just how wild you might be and pushed you too far beyond where a decent man would go. I apologize.” She waited for a moment to see if he’d say anything. When he stayed silent, she said, “I’d better go.”
“Please do.”
At his gruff tone, she frowned, then turned and went for her family’s camp. Ellen pondered his reaction. Surely he could see their rendezvous needed to stop when it did. She turned to tell him so, but found he’d already disappeared. He’d lived up to his heritage, slipping into the night without a sound. She’d do well to remember what sort of man he was at heart.
Almost running to her family’s campsite, she pushed down the trembling at the same time she put down the pail. She’d crossed a serious line by kissing Del. Even worse, she didn’t regret it. All the Winslows slept in their bedrolls. Ellen’s lay empty a little apart from the others. Someone, either Pa or Lucy, had thought of her. She slid off her shoes and settled in for the night.
The campfire’s warmth soothed her as she watched the ebbing light. Remembering her journal, Ellen knew she couldn’t write anything about tonight or Pa would see. She recollected every one of Del’s kisses to memorize each nuance. Her father could read anything he wanted, but he’d never know her heart.
She woke before sunrise. The beginning dawn told her going back to sleep was useless this close to morning. Ellen sat up and shivered. They needed wood and she needed coffee. She slid out of her bed and into her shoes to creep out of camp. No need in waking Pa before absolutely necessary. Not seeing the night watch, she left the semi circle of wagons and headed to the nearest grove for wood.
“You shouldn’t be here. The Shoshone are angry at the whites, enough to use you to teach them a lesson.”
Del’s voice startled her and she turned to him. Ellen tasted fear just from his words and the images they created in her mind. “Let me get some wood and I’ll hurry back.” She began picking up whatever sticks and twigs lay nearby. “Del, I didn’t mean to cause problems. I never do.”
His fierce expression softened a little. “I know. You didn’t know of the families killed in this area. Don’t leave camp at dark, even this sort of dark, without one of us.”
“I won’t.”
He began gathering sticks and twigs too. “Do you think no apology is necessary?”
Ellen shook her head. “No, I don’t think you need to apologize.”
He frowned. “Not me, there’s no need. But you? You need to apologize to me for last night.”
“I already did and you
didn’t accept,” she replied, turning back to camp. He took hold of her arm and his grip, while not overly firm, still hurt from Pa’s bruising yesterday. She yelped and dropped her bundle. “Please, Del! Let go of me.”
He released her and felt along her upper arm. “You still hurt here?”
“Yes, a little from an old accident.” A little embarrassed by the concern in his expression, she added, “And I am sorry for thinking you uncivilized.”
“That’s not important now, ma coeur. Either you were injured very badly then or have been reinjured since.” He frowned, examining without touching her arm. “I think you need medical attention. Let’s find Sam and Uncle Joe.”
Ellen shook away his unease. “That’s not necessary. It just aches a little.”
“You cannot lie to me, which is something I adore about you.” Lifting her elbow, he used his fingertips to press against her skin through the fabric. “You were well while washing yesterday, able to do chores and support your weight. My guess is you’ve angered your father since then.”
She took her elbow from his hands, a little annoyed and uncomfortable at his accuracy. “What happens between Pa and me is none of your business and isn’t open for discussion with you.”
“Hmm,” he said. “Who, then, can discuss this with you?”
“Who?” Her brow furrowed. “No one, actually. I’m not discussing any of this with you or anyone else. My relationship with my parents is none of your business.” She walked past him towards the wagon train.
Del stepped in front of her, blocking the way. “Nor anyone else’s?”
She stopped, crossing her arms. “No. Of course not.”
“Then it isn’t just me you avoid this subject with?”
Frowning, she retorted, “Of course not. Who would I discuss this with? No one at all.”
His expression softened somewhat. “So I am not less than other friends? I like that.” In a sudden move, he raised her chin suggesting a kiss. Stopping just short of their lips meeting, Del instead examined her as if committing her face to memory. After a moment, he grinned, letting her go. He looked back at the way they’d come. “You are too far from safety but too close for a kiss. I would not give your Pa a reason to hurt you again.” He took her hand. Lifting it, he paused and then released it. “No, do not bother to defend him. Until later, ma coeur.”
The man’s smile could melt ice, Ellen thought as she tried to resist his charm. “No, I’m not sure you’re a true friend.” She glanced around them and in a voice she hoped no one else could hear, added, “I never kiss friends. In that way, you’re much more than anyone else.”
Like a sudden storm, Del’s face clouded. “Mon Dieu,” he whispered. He reached out and traced the back of his hand against her cheek before taking her face in both hands. She turned to kiss his palm, and he growled a little at the touch.
Ellen answered with a hum of her own and relaxed into his arms as he enveloped her into a hug. He held her as tenderly as spun glass. She pulled back and let her hands slide from his shoulders to his arms, needing the time to clear her head. Looking up into his eyes, she said, “My goodness.”
“Yes.” He kissed her forehead. “Next time your father has issues with me, send him to me. I shall be glad to chat with him.”
“I can’t.” She squeezed his biceps to emphasize his strength. “You’d hurt him, maybe even kill him.”
He looked at each one of her hands before staring into her eyes. “Non. I’ll show respect, but if he’s to beat anyone for my attentions toward you, it’s to be me, not you.” Before she could protest, he briefly put a finger on her lips. “No more argument, ma coeur. Promise?”
“Oui, I promise.”
He gave her a wide grin. “You’ve learned?” At her nod, he kissed her cheek. “I look to teach you more. But later. Go back to camp. I’ll go around so we’re not discovered.”
She agreed and scooped up the wood she’d dropped. The early sun’s rays already lifted the dew from leaves and grass. She hurried to camp and built up the fire. In record time, she got water, started coffee, and milked the cows. The biscuits and bacon cooked before Pa, Lucy, and the boys woke. None of them were in a good mood, going off to do their morning business without a word. Even Skeeter seemed puffy and cranky. Ellen made the boy a plate first, ready for him when he came back.
“Thank you, sis.”
She watched for a moment, sipping her coffee as he picked at his food. “Are you still not feeling well, sweetie?”
Pa and Lucy arrived at the same time, Buster with them and fussy. Lucy worked at calming him while Pa sat. “None of us are feeling good, Ellen. Why not ask how everyone is doing and not just Skeeter?”
She hurried to fix their plates. “That was my next question, sir.”
“I’m fine.” He took the plate from her and began eating. “Your ma and brother aren’t as good. You might need to take on extra chores to help her for the next few days.”
“Of course.” Ellen still wore her good girl smile as she stared down into her empty coffee cup. “I noticed ripe berries while out gathering wood.”
“So?” asked Pa.
“They’d make a nice lunchtime treat. My chores are caught up, and I was thinking about going out to pick some before we leave.”
Buster let out a wail, throwing his biscuit at the fire and knocking over the coffee. Pa hopped to his feet. “Damn it all to hell, woman!”
“I’m sorry, Jack. He just doesn’t feel well.”
“Give him to me. I’ll handle him,” said Jack. “Go. Leave and help Ellen pick berries. I’ll show you both how a man gets things done around here.” He walked off with Buster with Skeeter watching them. They heard Pa mutter, “Useless, good for nothing women.”
Lucy stood. “I’ll find the clean pail if you’ll gather our dishes into the wash bucket.”
Ellen did as requested without a word, pausing to ruffle Skeeter’s hair. The boy leaned against her, his body trembling. She tried to calm him. “Don’t fret, sweetie. Pa will calm down and everything will be back to normal. I promise.”
“Can I go with you, sis?”
She looked down into his pleading eyes and almost said yes. Ellen felt his cheek with the back of her hand. The child was too warm to be running around, so she said, “We won’t be long at all. Help me gather up the dishes, and I’ll spread out a bed for you in the wagon.”
“I’m not tired.”
“I’m sure, but do try to rest before we leave.” Before he could protest, she added, “Do it so you can play this afternoon, all right?”
“Yeah, sis.” He did as asked and helped her stack plates while Ellen bundled up the bedding and laid out a pallet for him in the wagon.
Satisfied she had a nice place for him to sleep, she looked up at Lucy. “Are you ready to go?”
The two women left camp with Ellen leading the way. Pa’s temper tantrum kept both quiet. They worked fast to gather as much as possible before the signal to leave sounded. Scanning the branches and seeing nothing but green fruit, Ellen said, “I think we’ve found everything ready to pick.” She looked at the berries nearly filling her bucket. “This will make for a wonderful cobbler, don’t you think?”
Lucy examined her own pail. “Hmm, I do but I’d like to push on a little further, if only to find more to preserve.”
Ellen didn’t like the idea of being even further from the group. She shuddered, thinking of Little Buster and Skeeter harmed. No, they needed to return to safety. “Lucy, please, let’s go and find—” A hand cut off her sentence, silencing any scream. Ellen watched in horror as a brave grabbed her stepmother in the same manner. Both men held knives to their throats. She didn’t know what to do: struggle and possibly get away, or stay limp and go along with whatever they wanted. What would Del recommend she do? She closed her eyes and so wished he were here to help.
The man holding her pressed the knife deeper into her skin as he let go of her mouth. She got his message, yell and they’d die. Lucy
screamed and Ellen watched in horror as her step-mother’s throat was cut nearly in two, stopping her cries. She couldn’t even squeak as the brave drug her to his horse and pushed her on. They rode away and she clung to him, horrified at what just happened to Lucy. How would she tell Pa? She forced her eyes open to see exactly where they went. If there were any chance of escape, Ellen needed to know how to get back.
Chapter 4
“What do you mean gone?” asked Sam.
Uncle Joe answered, “We’ve searched all the brush around the body.”
“I’ve looked to see if blood stained the bottom of their feet,” Del added. He took no comfort in the suggestion they’d taken her alive. After a deep breath to help him stay calm, he pushed aside wondering if she’d caused them problems and was already dead. All he wanted to do now was run to find Ellen. After glancing at the other men gathered, he wondered if his skin matched theirs in a paled color. He clenched his hands into fists to stop their trembling.
Sam nodded. “We’ll need to send out a search party for Miss Winslow. It’s been recent enough, we stand a good chance of finding her.”
“No. You don’t want to do that.” Del crossed his arms, shaking his head. “A search party is too slow and cumbersome for this. They took her into the mountains.”
“How do you know for sure?” asked Uncle Joe.
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