“Yes, sir,” Ellen replied, staring at her feet. She bit her tongue to keep from arguing about who’d disgraced whom. Buster let out a wail and she shifted him to her other hip.
“Here, give me my son. You’re about useless in taking care of the boys.”
Ellen gave him no reaction and didn’t bother to argue while handing over Buster. He’d said these words or something similar ever since she’d come back. The first few days of protest had taught her nothing she said changed anything in his mind, so she kept quiet and moved on.
The lack of Buster’s weight lightened her. Ellen breathed in deep, glad to be without the load, and gathered the clothes she’d been washing. She soon knelt by the water, wanting to clean a few things before the night fell. Diapers were the worst. She hadn’t realized how much her stepmother had done until the job fell solely on her. She wrung out the first cloth, telling herself how fresh clothes for Buster were worth the effort.
The routine task helped her mind wander. Without the threat of Pa seeing her, she could think back and obsess over every detail. Del had been handsome with long hair in a single braid down his back. Now, with a more refined length, her heart skipped a beat every time she thought of running her fingers through his hair. Sometimes he’d worn the military pants she supposed someone at the fort gave him. The buckskins and red shirt on him today suited him better. Her hand reached for a cloth that wasn’t there and Ellen realized with a start that her washing was done. Lost in thought, she’d not noticed how dark it had become.
She hurried back to camp, hoping Pa had set up bedding for the boys. She saw Skeeter and Buster already in their bedrolls, staring up at the stars.
“Hi, sis. I’m telling Buster his goodnight story about Ma.”
“Thank you, Skeets. Did you set up our beds tonight too?” She smiled, laying the diapers out to dry.
“Yep! Pa didn’t ask, so I figured I might help.”
She wiped her hands on her skirt and got into her own bed. Ellen had heard enough in the past few days to know the younger boy had done most of the chores while she was gone. “You’re the best helper ever.” She curled onto her side, head resting against her arm in the usual way that didn’t mash her eyeglasses. The baby slept with a slight snore while Skeeter stared up at the sky.
Ellen took the chance to do more laundry early the next day. After changing Buster’s diaper, fixing breakfast, and scrubbing dishes, cleaning clothes was a welcome variation in her routine. She looked up from the water, surprised at the idea. Never in her life would she have expected washing her dresses to be enjoyable. She shook her head and went back to work.
She’d planned on enjoying some of the morning doing small tasks, but the minutes slipped by too fast. Lucky’s bugle sounded and she rushed to help Pa yoke the ox. Buster hated riding in the wagon but toddled too slowly to keep up, so Ellen carried him on her hip, changing sides often during the next three miles. The wagon train bottlenecked at the top of a steep hill. One by one, wagons rolled down, their speed kept in check with a hand brake. Those on foot eased down, careful to stay upright despite the loose gravel.
Easing Buster to her right hip, Ellen carefully stepped down the incline. Each slip stopped her heart until she gained a solid footing. She’d planned it so if she fell, it’d be onto her left side and not on her baby brother.
Buster began kicking and pointing. “Skee! Sis, Skee!”
She glanced up from the ground to see Skeeter with a few of his friends taking advantage of the slope. Each boy slid down the hill on his butt, and she knew their pants would need patches after this. She shook her head. “That’s right, Bus, there’s Skeeter.”
The baby stiffened, then became deadweight. “Go Skee, sis. Go Skee!”
“No, Buster, we can’t go with Skeet—” She struggled to hold the wriggling boy until he slid down her hip and began kicking her shins. The sharp pain startled Ellen and she jumped. Rocks rolled under her feet so she leaned to her left to keep Buster safe. Instinctively, she used her left hand to stop their fall. She felt more than heard her wrist crunch and cried out from the pain.
The hold on him loosened, Buster took the chance to slide down the hill like the big boys. Ellen tried to focus on him and getting down there. Her wrist burned, shooting tingles up to her shoulder. She stood and resumed her careful descent at a faster pace. He knew to keep away from rolling wagons, but accidents happened to even the knowledgeable sometimes. She saw him jumping up and down with his arms in the air. He made staying angry difficult for her. Ellen reached Buster and took him by the arm with her good hand. “For shame, Buster Winslow, for shame!” A wagon rolling by made a lot of racket so she almost had to holler at him. “Dang it! You’re supposed to stay with me, young man!”
Pa took her arm and swung her around to face him. “Don’t you talk to that baby like that! It’s loud enough out here and you’ll hurt his ears.”
His fingers dug into her skin, almost overriding the pain in her wrist. “Pa, I didn’t—” She gasped when he started shaking her, gripping harder.
“Shut up. Not another word.” He let her go with a push. “I don’t want to ever hear you speak to him like that again, understand?”
She bit her lip, resisting the urge to rub the bruised skin on her upper arm. Others might be watching but she didn’t take the time to look around. “I won’t, Pa.”
He turned to Buster. “Come on, boy, go with me, not with your mean ole sister.”
The boy looked back at Ellen while taking Pa’s hand. He followed with a skip after she gave him a little wave. She liked the distrusting expression on her little brother’s face. At least he hadn’t blindly believed Ellen had been unkind to him. The two reached their family wagon and began following the others. She sought out Marie or Jenny to no avail. It was just as well. Her left arm hurt from fingertips to shoulder, and all she wanted to do was cry. Skeeter and his friends played off to the side yet close by the group.
She’d already noticed Del at the front as a scout earlier today. Ellen wanted him to hold her while she sobbed, but actually doing so would attract the wrong kind of attention. She thanked providence he’d not seen her fall or Pa’s scolding. He’d ask why she didn’t smile, had tears in her eyes, and cradled her arm. She couldn’t lie to him and pretend nothing was wrong. She continued walking while ignoring her arm and focusing on the high desert landscape around her.
They crossed two streams slowly to give everyone a chance to drink. The late start kept them moving despite Ellen’s stomach growling for an early dinner. Another mile led them to a larger creek that fed into the Snake River. This gave them a triangle of land created by swift water. Lucky’s bugle signaling them to stop for the night relieved her. If she could get through the next few hours without a whimper, she planned on collapsing into bed and nursing her arm with a cloth wrap.
The isthmus they had let the men line up the wagons to create a bottom to the rivers’ triangle sides. Ellen kept quiet while she helped Pa. She almost enjoyed his silent treatment, emphasized when he looked through her as if she weren’t there. Sometimes, she didn’t want to pretend everything was fine. Between them both, they soon had a campfire and food cooking for the little family.
“I’m going to visit the Nelsons this evening. Skeeter, you did a fine job with our blankets last night. Can I expect you to do the same tonight?”
“Yes, Pa.”
“That’s my boy. Help keep an eye on Buster, make sure he doesn’t get into any trouble.” He ruffled Skeeter’s hair before walking away.
The young boy sat, staring into the fire for a while before saying, “I’m sorry, sis.”
“It’s all right, Skeets. He’ll forget why he’s mad at me soon enough.” She stood, handing her plate to him and getting Pa’s from where he’d set it. “If you’ll do dishes for me, I’ll clean up Buster. You’ll save me so much time, I’ll be able to tell you a bedtime story.” She picked up the baby and one of his clean diaper cloths as Skeeter put the dishes in the buck
et. “Don’t take the cook pot. It’s heavy and I can wash it later this evening.”
“I can wash it.”
“Probably so, but for right now, doing these dishes is enough.” Skeeter followed as she led the way. Having a full tummy made Buster sleepy and he nestled into her. “Don’t get too comfortable, sweetheart.” At the creek bank, she took off Buster’s diaper and rinsed it. He toddled over and put a foot in the water. Soon enough, he was walking in the shallows. She and Skeeter laughed when Buster began washing himself. “He’s old enough to potty like a big boy, don’t you think Skeeter?”
“Yeah, think I should help him know when it’s time to go?”
“That’s a great idea. Buster? Do you want to be a big boy like Skeeter?”
“Yep.” He began hopping. “Big, big, big.”
“You can begin being a big boy first thing tomorrow, all right? Come here and let me get you dressed.” She held out her arms to him and he ran to her, slipping a little. Ellen tied his diaper on, swung him on her hip, and held out her hand for Skeeter. “It’s getting dark.”
He looked around before answering, “Sure is.”
His hand felt cold in hers, thanks to the night air and wet hands. They reached the wagon and got the beds ready. When done, she asked, “Didn’t I promise a bedtime story?” Both children answered at the same time and she laughed. “Quiet down, sillies. Other people might be sleeping.” They both grinned at her while squirming.
“Tell us about the knights and their king.”
She nodded. Buster liked everything but Skeeter loved King Arthur and his knights. She thought for a second. “I’ll tell you about the brave Sir Lancelot.” Ellen wove them a tale from memories of her mother’s stories and whatever she could add. She’d not even given a proper ending before both children slept.
As she stood up to wash the cookpot, Pa came over and got into bed. He didn’t say a word to her. Ellen waited for a moment to see if he had some sort of task for her. When he stayed silent, she took the chance to escape, even if that only meant scrubbing burnt beans and rice. The quarter to full moon gave her enough light to find her way to the creek. Shimmers glinted on the water. She began scrubbing, glad the pot was heavy enough to stay still in the shallow water. It let her clean with one hand instead of pushing through the pain by holding the pot in her left. She was almost done when a cloud covered the moon. The dark pressed in as if it was a giant unseen hand.
“Ellen?”
His voice at first startled her until a rush of love went through her. “Del.” She stood, his hand on her arms helping to steady her. “I’m glad you’re here.”
“So am I.” He pulled her into an embrace.
She relaxed into him, wanting to absorb his warmth into her very soul. “Are you here for me, or do you need to continue on to the creek?”
“I’m here only for you, sweetheart.”
Nestled into him, she breathed his scent. “I’ve missed you so much.” She resisted a little when he pulled away but relaxed when he lifted her chin. Ellen smiled, ready for his kiss, when he wrapped his arms around her. The action pressed on the bruise Pa had left and a whimper escaped her.
He let go of her in an instant. “Your arm?” Del caressed her left arm, stopping where she ached. “This is his favorite place to hurt you, it seems. The skin is warmer here than elsewhere.”
“I don’t know about it being his favorite place.”
“It is. He grabs you, squeezes to harm, but not enough for others to notice.” Del bent to kiss her arm. “I’m sorry. Maybe I need to teach him a lesson.”
“No, please don’t. I don’t want to start a fight among our people.”
“That’s noble of you.” He stood straight and pressed his lips against her forehead. “Yet, unnecessary. If he hurts you again and I learn of it, I will hurt him.”
“Then I won’t tell you if he does.” The cloud moved on, letting the moonlight fall upon them.
Del grinned. “Good. Please don’t. I will do a check of you for myself.”
“A what?”
“A check. Starting here,” he said, kissing her cheek. “Then here.” He nuzzled her ear, putting a hand behind her neck. “I’ll want to check your back as well.” Del ran his fingertips down her spine to the small of her back. “Feels perfect to me.”
“Me too.” She shivered when he traced back up to her shoulders. “Still good?”
“Still perfect.” He leaned in, letting his hands caress down her arms, barely touching her left arm to the elbow. “So perfect.” Del’s lips brushed hers as he reached down for her hands. She gasped when he bent her hands up at the wrists and he stepped back “Mon Dieu! Your wrist is still injured?”
“Reinjured from a fall today.” She winced, anticipating pain when he lifted her wrist to his lips. The touch tickled and Ellen smiled. “Such wonderful medicine, thank you.”
“Your skin burns here too, ma coeur.” He gently let go of her arm and began unbuttoning his shirt.
“I’m certain all of me will be hot if you undress right now.”
He chuckled. “I hope so, but not just yet.” He ripped a strip from the tail end of the shirt. “Let me have your hand again.” She did as asked and Del wrapped her hand and wrist.
The tight wrap compressed the joint and helped the injury feel better. “Is your shirt still wearable? Do you have enough fabric for every woman you meet?”
“I don’t, but this is Sam’s shirt. He won’t mind too much.”
She laughed. “He won’t if we don’t tell him.”
Del caressed her face with the back of his hand. “What else could we do and not tell him?” He bent to capture her lips with his own in a kiss.
Ellen melted into him. Goosebumps covered her from the sensual touch. She shivered and enjoyed his returning moan. He held her closer, careful of her arm. She loved his consideration and his strength. She leaned away to end the kiss and ran her hand through his hair. “Care to tell me what happened? Were you caught somehow and had to cut off your braid to get out?”
He laughed. “Something similar, yes. Cutting my hair let me flee the fort with the Army’s permission.”
“I’m glad.”
“Me too.” Del glanced over at the camp. “Everyone is asleep for now, but second watch will be starting soon. Let’s get back before Arnold decides to check on us.” He picked up the cook pot. “I’ll escort you.”
“Thank you.”
He took her right hand to hold as he led her. “My pleasure.” They walked to the wagon train where no one except Arnold stirred. “Leave me here, ma coeur, and I hope to see you tomorrow.”
She lifted his hand and kissed him. “I hope so too.” Her heart ached at leaving him. She let his hand fall, steeling herself to walk away from him and return to her family.
The next morning, Pa paused before sipping his coffee and spoke to Ellen. “What’s that on your arm? Some sort of bandage?”
She stopped sipping her own coffee and nodded. “It’s from Sam’s shirt. Someone noticed I was favoring this hand and suggested it for my wrist.”
“Didn’t know you were hurt, thought maybe you weren’t getting enough attention.” He turned to his younger son. “Skeeter, help your sister with chores until she gets better.”
Ellen had the distinct feeling from him that her injury was an affront to him personally. His words didn’t say so, but his tone did. She fought the urge to insist she was fine and didn’t need her brother’s help. Except that she did for a few days. Even now her arm ached, and she moved her hand to check its mobility.
Skeeter leaned against her in a half hug. “Don’t worry, sis. I can help just fine.”
She smiled down at his earnest face. “I know you can.”
“You’re still changing Buster’s diapers. Right?”
“Yes, I am.” She chuckled. “Unless you’re wanting to…?”
“Nope!” He sat up straight. “I’ll wash dishes and put away the bedding. Too busy to clean poop. Sorry, sis!
”
“I thought so.” She gave him a final hug. “Go get started and I’ll take care of our boy.”
Buster walked over to her, half eaten biscuit still in one hand. “Poop.” Hearing Skeeter laugh, the baby started bouncing. “Poop, poop, poop!”
“All right, that’s enough.” She scooped him up before setting him back down. He was wet and smelly, chanting poop for a reason. “Let’s go clean you up and talk about how big boys go to the bathroom out here.”
Buster followed her to the river, holding her hand. She stripped him down and let him play in the water while she cleaned up the diaper. Glancing upstream, she saw Skeeter finishing up and going back to camp. If she didn’t hurry, Lucky would be sounding the signal to move out and Buster would still be half naked. She worked fast to dress him again and give his clean but wet diaper another wringing out.
Each family made their way across the creek to the Snake River ferry. Word spread quickly across the waiting families of the cost. Pa shook his head. “I ain’t paying no eighteen dollars when there’s bound to be some sort of crossing up ahead. They’re taking advantage of the desperate.”
Ellen agreed. She looked ahead to see Sam and Lefty leading one of the wagons up the river to a better crossing. Wagon ruts went in that direction for a reason, and when the Winslows followed, she saw why. The river widened here and turned relatively shallow. They approached the riverbank behind the Nelsons. She watched as Sam, Lefty, and Del approached. They were wet up to their knees. That meant their wagon’s bed would be completely submerged. Ellen’s mouth went dry. Green River was bad enough. “Mr. Granville, I’m not going across here. I can’t.”
“You don’t have a choice, girl,” said Pa.
Sam swung off his horse. “Lefty, get the next group ready and I’ll be there in a minute.” He walked over to Ellen. “Now, Miss Winslow, you know I wouldn’t let anything happen to you.”
“I know not intentionally.” She glanced at Del and shivered, remembering how close she’d come to drowning before. “Accidents happen all the time.”
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