She smiled, his thoughtfulness bringing tears to her eyes. “Thank you, Del.”
“Non, no crying and no thanks. I’m merely helping another family in our group.”
Ellen nodded, wiping her cheeks and leaving only after he did. A fire burned at camp due to the firewood she’d gathered last night. Lacy shook the pan of bacon and glanced up at her. “Oh, good! You thought to bring water. Only, where did that bucket come from?”
“It’s one of Sam’s. I met one of his men down at the creek and he suggested I take it. Seems he’d gotten too much water for them, saw I’d forgotten our bucket, and made me bring it to camp.” Lacy had gone on with adding water to the flour and then to the coffee beans. Ellen couldn’t stop explaining to her, and the older woman looked up as she continued. “For us, you know, so that we could have coffee and such. I’m supposed to take whatever water is left back to Sam and his people.” A knowing look dawned on Lacy’s face and Ellen panicked over what she suspected. “So if you don’t use all of it, I’ll just do that.”
“Certainly. I’m sure Arnold or Lefty might not mind seeing you again.” She patted the ground next to her. “Have a seat and tell me all about the young man.”
Ellen grinned at how easily a crisis had been averted. “I’d love to, Mrs. Benson, but I am freezing.”
“Oh my! Of course, go change into something dry. I don’t know where your Pa is for sure, and the boys are out gathering firewood. I sent them off to be rambunctious somewhere else.” She waved Ellen away. “I’ll keep lookout so you can switch dresses in private.”
“Thank you, Mrs. Benson.”
“Lacy, remember?”
“I’ll try,” Ellen said with a smile that faded as soon as her back was turned. She just couldn’t be so familiar with the woman. Lacy and Lucy’s names were too similar and she still mourned her stepmother, even if Pa didn’t seem to. She scooped up her other dress from the wagon wheel and climbed aboard to change. The fabric felt stiff and cold against her, but the thoughts of seeing Del again this morning kept her warm. She buttoned the first few buttons, wondering how he’d react if with her right now. A shiver went through her when she remembered the lust she’d see in his eyes yesterday. This morning had been less intimate, but then a crying child would dampen anyone’s desire. She grinned at how sexy he’d looked with his messy hair and shirt askew.
She climbed down, brining the damp dress with her. “I’ll wash this and anything else you’d like, Mrs., um, Lacy.”
“Thank you, Miss, um, Ellen.”
Ellen grinned at the teasing. “Sorry, old habits and all.”
Caleb and Skeeter came running up, pushing each other and yelling, “Tag, you’re it,” every other second.
“Boys!” hollered Lacy. “Settle down now and eat!” They stopped in their tracks for only an instant before doing as she’d ordered. Ellen gave Lacy the plates, and she dished up the food for all three boys. “Go ahead and get started. Jack will be here soon, and I’m sure he won’t mind.”
Ellen disagreed, worried Pa would be furious they ate without him, but kept quiet. She pushed around the food on her plate but didn’t take a bite. A glance at Buster showed he was wearing pants, thankfully still dry. He gnawed at a biscuit in one hand and a chunk of bacon in the other.
Pa came up like a black cloud over all of them. “Granville says we’re leaving early today, so it’s just as well Buster screamed us awake. He says the road is through timber and rough. It’ll be a while to get to good water, like every other day.” He sat and took the coffee Lacy poured for him, adding, “Don’t know why he thought fit to tell us that.”
Ellen kept quiet, eating without a word. Lacy chatted with him and he was cordial enough with her, but Ellen didn’t take the chance. Her silence meant no outbursts from him. She exchanged a glance with Skeeter and knew he felt the same way. As soon as Pa took his last bite, she began gathering plates and utensils, careful to not make him feel rushed. She waited, moving slower until ready for him. Sure enough, he handed her his dishes. “Mighty fine meal, Lacy. You’re the best cook I’ve ever known.”
“Why, thank you, Jack. I do appreciate it.” She smiled at Ellen. “Dear, you don’t mind washing up this once, do you?”
“Of course not, Mrs. Benson.” She returned the smile and put everything gently into the wash bucket. Making a racket might lead Pa to believe she was angry and thus trigger his own temper. “I’d be glad to if it means a meal like that more often.” She almost curtsied before hurrying to the river. Ellen struggled to keep a grin on her face while washing up. The meal hadn’t been anything remarkable. Arguing with her father would trigger a tantrum, and she just didn’t have the guts for that this morning. She hurried to clean everything, wanting enough time to return Sam’s water bucket and refill theirs too.
Soon done and the dishes back in the wagon, she refilled both pails and dropped theirs off at the wagon. Everything seemed quiet. Ellen backed away, working hard to not hurry over to Sam’s wagon to see Del. His camp was more active, the men running to and fro. Marie spotted her first and waved.
“Ellen! How wonderful! Sam said you’d be bringing the pail back.” She peeked inside. “And full of water. Aren’t you thoughtful?” Taking the pail, she set it down next to a wagon wheel.
“I’d thought you might need the water as well, since Sam recommended we bring some along.” She glanced around the camp, hoping to catch sight of Del.
“He’s not here.”
“Hmm?” Ellen pretended not to know what she was talking about, but Marie’s expression told her she’d failed in doing so. “Oh, well, I’m sure he’s busy.”
“He is, and he’ll also be unhappy he missed you.”
The knowing grin on the other woman’s face made Ellen’s face burn. “Well, I suppose I’m glad about that.” Not knowing what to do, she wrung her hands. “Pa and Lacy are expecting me back. Buster probably needs his diaper changed or something so I’ll be going.”
“I’d have you stay, but Del is up front today and you’ve already missed him.”
“See? No need for me to stay.” She gave a little wave and rushed back to her family just as Lucky’s bugle sounded. Hurrying, she poured a jar full of water before hanging the pail on a nail as the wagon began rolling. Ellen scooped up Buster and began following the wagon train. The baby had been heavy back at Fort Hall but by now, not so much. His clothes seemed tighter on him, reassuring her he’d been eating enough. She smiled at his wriggle to be let down. “Fine, but stay with me, all right?”
He let out a whoop when his feet hit the ground and ran in circles around her. She envied the baby his energy. Buster played hide and seek with her, running ahead whenever she’d catch up to him. Soon enough, he wanted to be carried for the rest of the afternoon. They walked through timber most of the day, following the group. No one stopped for a midday meal. Ellen and Buster made do with drinking as much fresh spring water as they wanted. When her brother was bent over the small creek, she fretted about not bringing a spare set of diapers for him. “Buss, it’s going to be important to tell me when you need to go potty.”
He looked up at her, wiping his face. “I can, sis.” Patting her arm, he added, “I can tell you.”
“Tell me before you need to go, all right? Not after. Promise?” He nodded and she smiled at him. “Then let’s go and catch up.”
“Carry?”
“Sure.” She hoisted him up and let him sit on her hip. They left the woods and she liked being better able to see the mountains to the north and west. Ellen thought back to the home they’d left behind in eastern Missouri. Right now, all her friends would be sitting in a humid heat, fanning themselves. She breathed in deep as a cool wind swept the high meadow. The afternoon sun almost heated her to a sweat, kept at bay by the breeze. She’d seen old oaks creating a high umbrella of branches at home. The tall pines poking above the deciduous trees here were higher than anything she’d ever seen before. If she were less of a lady, she’d try to climb on
e just to see if she could.
The day grew later and yet they’d not stopped. She helped her brother with his bathroom needs as requested, giving him as much privacy as his inexperience would allow. Lucky’s bugle sounded, giving them the signal to camp for the night just as the sun dipped behind storm clouds on the western horizon. “Oh, thank goodness! Buster! Let’s gather up whatever wood we can find for dinner tonight.”
None of the scrub brush seemed good for burning, especially not after the woods they’d left, so she and her brother had nothing in hand as they approached the Granville party. Plenty of willows and other thin leaved trees lined the Umatilla River, so she hoped they’d find something. Seeing her family’s wagon, she hurried over to find Pa and Lacy there. Her father worked to start a fire while his new friend watched.
Buster slid down, having become dead weight in her arms. He ran up to his father. “Pa! I’m a big boy today!”
“Yeah?” Their father didn’t look up from his work. “Good deal. Now be a bigger boy and help your sister get supper ready for us.”
Ellen recognized the edge in his voice. She held out her hand to Buster. “Pa’s right. Help me.”
He gave her a surly pout and shook his head. Before Ellen could begin arguing with him, Caleb and Skeeter came up, pushing and shoving each other. Like watching a slow motion disaster, she saw the Benson boy push her brother into Pa. The action interrupted their father’s struggle to start a fire. He grabbed a hold of Skeeter and threw him like his son was a rag doll. The child landed several feet away and skid a little to a stop. As calm as though nothing had happened, Pa went back to starting a fire.
They all stood or sat statue still. Buster slid behind his sister. Some in the group were in shock, but others like Ellen and Skeeter were too afraid of causing more temper to erupt from their father. Only when certain his anger was done for the moment did Ellen go to her brother and pull him to his feet. In a soft voice, she said, “Come help me start mixing and such.” He stood to the side as she let down the tailgate and began pulling ingredients from the back. She didn’t know or care where the Benson wagon was. They could provide breakfast tomorrow. All Ellen wanted now was a decent dinner without a major outburst tonight.
“Do we need water?” Skeeter asked her, eyes big. “Should I take Buster?”
“Yes to both, but keep a sharp eye on him. It’s getting dark.” She noted his nod as he took the pail and their brother to the water. Thinking ahead, soaking beans and rice overnight might mean a good breakfast tomorrow. But now they’d have to settle for biscuits and salted pork. She peeked around the wagon to see her brothers coming back. “Here, give me the water and go sit. Try to be quiet,” she said in a soft voice meant only for them. Ellen soon had biscuits mixed up and ready for cooking.
“I know!” said Lacy. “Let’s have tea while Ellen cooks dinner. I have some in our wagon.” She hopped up and went to retrieve the fixings.
“Sounds good.” Pa looked at Ellen and nodded in Lacy’s direction. “You could take lessons in how to be a proper lady from her. Maybe she’ll get you a refined man for a husband instead of those lowlifes you seem to like.”
“Maybe so,” she agreed. Or maybe, Ellen added to herself, she’d just wait until Pa was so attentive to Lacy that he’d not notice when she ran off with Del. She placed the pan on the fire grate. Wishful thinking was all that was, considering her father would notice and she couldn’t just leave her brothers like that. She glanced at them to see the boys settled in opposite from their father. Out of arm’s reach was a good idea and she stopped short of nodding in approval.
“Here I am!” Lacy stepped into the firelight. “This is exactly what we need to feel human again, don’t you think?” She didn’t wait for an answer but began preparing the small cookpot and tealeaf strainer. “Now then, all I need is water. Caleb? Skeeter? Water please?”
Skeeter hopped up. “Yes, ma’am. I’ll get it.” He hurried over to Ellen and she handed him the pail.
She saw Caleb’s leg stuck out to trip Skeeter and over the boy went before Ellen could squeak a warning. Water from the pail went out in an arc, splashing down onto supper and some of the fire. The pan hissed, as did the embers, steam rising up into the night. Skeeter got up off the bucket. “Sorry, Pa,” he said while trying to straighten out the bent metal. “I guess I tripped.”
“You guess?” Pa stood. “I’d say you did and you ruined Miss Lacy’s tea. Our dinner is soaked, and now most of the wood is wet. We’re getting nothing tonight and it’s all thanks to you.” He stepped up to the boy. “If we’d not had to wait on your good for nothing sister, dinner might have been a little earlier. Early enough so’s you’d not ruin it with your goofing off.”
Ellen glanced at the food, seeing the water was already boiling away. She eased over to the pan and flipped the biscuits over so they’d not burn. A little stir of the bacon and she sat down on a dry patch of dirt.
“I don’t want to look at either of you. Go on, get out of my sight for a while.”
“Now, Jack, there’s no need to be upset. I’m sure Caleb would be glad to get more water for our tea, and look.” She nodded at the food. “Our dinner is almost ready. Looks like nothing is too far gone, and we’ll have a nice treat before bed.” Her son came up and carefully gave his mother the bucket. “Thank you, dear.” She filled the teapot. “Dinner smells wonderful, and I’m sure Ellen’s almost ready to pass out our plates so we can dish up, isn’t that right, dear?”
She nodded, glad Mrs. Benson could calm down Pa. Ellen hurried and soon everyone had a plate of food. She half listened to the older adults talk about the Winslow children as if they weren’t there. She expected the useless older daughter talk, but the “Skeeter is a problem” refrain was new. She glanced at her younger brother, but he wasn’t looking anywhere but his half full plate. Checking on Buster showed he sported a huge wet spot in his pants. Ellen swallowed, hoping she could get the baby down to the water and cleaned up before her father noticed and complained.
Pa continued on his speech, this time not stopping with what had been wrong with Ellen’s mother and now with her. He went on to include Lucy and the boys. Ellen gritted her teeth when she saw Skeeter’s stricken look. She bent to say only to him, “One more bite, then we’ll leave him to it.”
“I can’t. I’m not hungry.”
She saw how little he’d eaten and had to prod him a little. “Just one more?”
He did as she’d asked, chewing slow and swallowing as if his throat wouldn’t cooperate. “You’ll need help with Buster, won’t you?”
“Afraid so. You take him and the dishes, and I’ll get him clean clothes, all right?”
Skeeter nodded and grabbed hold of Buster’s hand. “Let’s go, Bus, and play in the water.”
The adults and Caleb watched without comment or interrupting Pa. Ellen took the chance to gather plates and the baby’s fresh clothes.
“Ellen, you must have tea with us.”
“I’d love to, Mrs. Benson, but it’ll be cold by the time I get back. Please, enjoy some for me and I’ll have some next time for sure.”
“Very well,” said Lacy, giving her a little wave.
She escaped to the river, the darkness making it seem inky black. Skeeter sat on the bank, silently crying. Buster clung to him, trying to pull his brother’s forehead off his knees. “No cry, Skee. No cry.”
“Hey, Skeeter, come on.” Ellen sat beside him, putting her arm around his shoulders. “You know how Pa is. He’s just angry and wanting to complain about everything. My mom was wonderful, yours was too. He misses them so much, it’s better to say he hates them instead.” Skeeter didn’t react, but his sobs stopped. Buster still leaned against him. Ellen reached out to pat her youngest brother. “Bus, try playing in the water without your pants.”
She shook her head as the boy stripped down to just his shirt and ran to the water. His love for the cold amazed her. She tried not to laugh at his jumping in a bit at a time. He danced around
, slipping and landing on his butt once. The river’s edge was shallow enough that all three of them laughed. She had to get him out of there soon, or he’d stir up enough dirt to make mud. “Come on, let’s get dressed. You don’t want to freeze to death.”
He ran up the bank to her, teeth chattering. The sound made him laugh until the chattering resumed. While he and Skeeter had fun listening, Ellen got him dressed and ready for bed. She hugged him to warm him up. “Listen, Buster. If you need to go potty, wake me and I’ll take you. All right?” Feeling him nod while shivering, she chuckled. “Another thing, if you mess the bed, just wake me up with your quiet voice and I’ll fix it. No yelling.”
“My quiet voice?” he asked in a loud, whispery tone.
“Quieter.”
“Is this quiet?”
“Perfect. If you wake only me up and no one else, I’ll give you a prize.” She gave him one last hug before letting him go. “Now run along and help Skeeter set up our beds.”
The younger boy froze. “What if I make a mistake?”
“Just keep the blankets away from the fire and you’ll do just fine. Stay away from Caleb’s feet too. I think he likes tripping people.” She grinned. “You’d better hurry or Buster will have it all done for you.”
He hopped up and followed the child back to camp. Not even starlight gave her enough light to wash by. She rinsed Busters clothes and cleaned the dishes by touch until the cold water numbed her fingers. It’d have to do and she could always wipe them in the morning. She gathered up everything for the return to camp. Pa and Lacy sat together, their bedrolls side by side. All the boys were in bed already, the Winslows asleep. Ellen set everything in its place and slid into bed before Pa or Lacy could draw her into a conversation. The day had been too long and her father’s temper too quick for her to play nice now.
Tap, tap.
“Sis.”
No, not yet, she thought, still wrapped up in a dream. The apricots were ripe and warm. She didn’t want to stop eating them now. Another few taps from Buster pulled her away and into consciousness. “Yes, sweetie?”
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