“I meant what I said. Keep the apartment, Harm – we’ll do this at whatever pace is comfortable for you, however you need to do it.”
She smiled. “Okay, so if I move in, but I keep my apartment for the rest of the time on the lease, then ... it doesn’t really hold a lot of risk, does it?”
Laughing, he released her hands and slid his palms up her thighs, still straddling his lap. When he’d moved up to gently grasp her hips, he fitted her body more snugly against his, sighing slightly. “If it makes you feel safer to have a back-out plan, then I want you to do it. But Harmony, you have to know that if you moved in with me and something went wrong, it’s not like I’d just toss you in the street.”
“I know,” she laughed back, bending forward to kiss the tip of his nose.
He caught her face, holding her close and claiming her lips with his own. Tenderly, sweetly, he stroked the curve of her bottom lip with the tip of his tongue before sliding between her lips. He smiled against her mouth as she moaned softly, deepening the kiss until Harmony finally pulled away, breathless, her palms pressed lightly against his chest. “You’re irresistible,” he whispered, lifting one of her hands and turning it over to kiss her palm.
“I’m not the only one who’s irresistible,” Harmony answered. “And that’s reason number one for me deciding to take a leap and agree to move in with you. I have my own place right now, and you have your own place here, but I can’t remember the last time I slept alone except for when you were out of town for AWG.”
“So – okay, we’re irresistible then,” Xander said, nodding thoughtfully as he watched her face. “And that’s reason number one? What’s reason number two?”
“I ... I love you, too, Xander. I don’t know how it happened so fast, and I don’t have anything to compare this to. I don’t know if it’s real.” She pressed a fingertip gently to his lips as he took a breath, waiting for him to nod silently before she went on. “And I don’t know if it’ll last forever. What I know right now is I can’t get enough of you, and that I want to be with you every possible second. And if you feel like that too, then I don’t want to waste time waiting for some magic moment or some pre-determined ‘right’ time.” Taking his hand, she held it to her chest, rolling her eyes as he playfully tweaked her nipple.
Readjusting the position so that his hand covered her heart, she spoke again. “I wrestled with the idea of dating you because I was afraid to take a risk, but you made it worth it. And I’ve wrestled with this new step, every minute since you sent me that text and asked me to move in. I’ve put it off, and I’ve thought it through as fully as I know how to, but my heart tells me to jump, to do it. My heart is telling me to trust that I love you, and that if you say you love me, then you do.”
“I do,” he said, moving his hands around to circle her waist.
“I’ve been afraid to let go with anyone since I was young, because I saw what happened to Cameron.”
“And now?” he asked.
“And now I’m with you,” Harmony answered. “And I want to take the risk. I want to see where this takes us.”
“I love you,” he said simply, reaching up to bring her mouth back to his again. “I love you, love you, love you,” he whispered, nudging her chin with his nose, urging her lift her face.
“Hmm, you do?” Harmony asked, giggling as he nuzzled her throat, moving down to nip lightly at the curve of her shoulder.
He brought his head up, his blue eyes sparkling playfully as he watched her. “Doubting me already, are you?” he asked, arching an eyebrow.
“Well, they do say actions speak louder than words.” Harmony teased. She gasped as Xander slapped her rear, wrapping his arm around her waist and bending her over his shoulder. Holding her easily in place, Xander stood and strode from the living room to the bedroom, depositing her in the center of his wide bed.
And after that, there wasn’t any more time for talking.
A Letter From The Author
Sometimes we are forced, through the simple circumstances of daily life, to witness horrible acts of inhumanity. Murder, rape, kidnapping. Sometimes, children are the witnesses to these acts – an unmolested younger sibling may witness the sexual (or other) abuse of an older sibling, a friend, or their own mother. In a world that is increasingly depraved, our children are often witness to things we would rather protect them from, and this can leave lasting impressions with them, impressions that follow them for the rest of their lives.
Children who witness traumatic acts are often susceptible to flashbacks, issues with trust and security, sexual deviance or irresponsibility, or an exaggerated tendency to self-protect. It isn’t technically post-traumatic stress if the trauma actually happened to someone else, but post traumatic stress by proxy is real. I am living proof that it is real, and every time I flash back to childhood and my mind plays memories of my mother’s second marriage, I am proof all over again that what Harmony suffers from in Wrestling Harmony is real.
The issue of PTSD and PTSD by proxy wasn’t allowed to become a main theme of this book, and Harmony’s emotional depth comes frequently from the loss of her Olympic dream. But the Olympic dream is perhaps based on a desire for personal power and visibility ... the idea of being seen as strong and powerful, especially in a petite woman who has witnessed the trauma of a loved one is not rare.
Harmony did suffer some self-induced shame, though, in the idea that nothing traumatic actually happened to her ... her suffering was borne of her empathetic reaction to her sister, Cameron, and she thought for a long time that she was maybe “making it up,” or drawing her sister’s PTSD symptoms into herself through a form of twisted jealousy for the spotlight. Because of this, she didn’t confide much in the people who could have helped her early on, and it ultimately took a simple suggestion from a friend – over a decade later – to find healing, simply through the reassurance that what she was going through was okay and is, in fact, common.
This healing came hand in hand with a new man who showed her respect and helped her to feel safe in the face of so much change.
If you are suffering through something similar to what Harmony was going through during her story, please seek counseling ... there is hope.
As always, with much love and my heartfelt thanks for reading,
B.
About The Author
Brandi Kennedy is an American writer who is finally living her childhood career dream. As a child, books were her world, and through adulthood that love of words has never changed. A woman of varied interests, Brandi loves photography, music of all kinds, knitting, crochet and of course, mothering her two young daughters.
Currently, she finds her home in the heart of Knoxville, Tennessee, among the mountains and the members of her extended family, where she spends her days at the computer, bringing fresh and incredibly real characters to life.
Follow Brandi Kennedy on the Web
On Amazon, http://www.amazon.com/author/brandikennedy
On Facebook, http://www.facebook.com/AuthorBrandiKennedy
On Blogger, http://authorbrandikennedy.blogspot.com/
On Twitter, http://www.twitter.com/brandikennedy84
And on Goodreads, http://www.goodreads.com/AuthorBrandiKennedy
Other Titles by This Author
Single Titles
Fighting For Freedom
The Selkie Trilogy
Selkie, Book One
The Kingsley Series
Fat Chance, Book One
Prescription For Love, Book Two
Wrestling Harmony, Book Three
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Wrestling Harmony (The Kingsley Series) Page 28