With trepidation Lara began, “It’s about Nadia. You know how strongly I feel about what happened to Nadia. I think I can be helpful to your mission. Rashida is going with you. Take me with you, too. I have skills. I can shoot, I can fight. I’m healthy and fit. I’m proficient with many types of weapons. But, more importantly, I want to be with you in the field.”
His eyes did not change. He murmured, “Are you finished?” Taking her hand gingerly, Ben’s eyes met hers, “You have no idea how much I’d love to have you stowed away on that plane. To hold you and kiss you at night would be the most incredibly wonderful treat in the world. But, I can’t have you there, Lara. I would be distracted thinking about your safety. You can’t speak tribal languages, Arabic, Pashto, Farsi, Urdo. Rashida speaks the languages, she knows the customs. Rashida will blend in. I’ll be distracted enough with her on the mission, that’s if I approve her going. It’s not just up to me. My whole team will need to weigh in and be in unison on the idea. I hope you understand.”
She looked down at his hand holding hers. “Ben, I don’t understand.”
~ Ben ~
He emphatically did not want to get into this discussion with Lara. But she had pushed him to the edge and there was no turning back, “Okay, I will try to help you understand what goes on inside my head during a mission. It’s this simple: I’m gone. By that I mean, the Ben you know isn’t here,” he gestured toward his heart. “When I leave you, Lara, and go to the dark side, there’s nothing but tactical stuff in my mind…and I have no feelings for those I am going to kill. That doesn’t mean I don’t have a heart, because I do. I’m human. But when I go into killing mode, you don’t want to be with me. I become hyper-vigilant, especially when there are innocents in the picture. The last mission I was on, I worried constantly about the women and children. They’re not collateral damage. They are innocent people caught in the crossfire. The whole reason I do what I do is to protect them.
I had a quote that hung above my cot while I was deployed, “The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing.” Those are the words of Albert Einstein and they define who I am. Protecting innocent people is what I’m all about. If I put you in the mix, my head won’t be in the game. I need to keep you in a box on a shelf in my mind, safe and away from the insanity that becomes my life while on a mission. Can you understand any of this?” He watched her green eyes take on a stubbornness that he was hoping would disappear.
She countered, “You can keep me out of the mission. I can be at a base hidden away. That way we can be together.” He furrowed his brow and put on a serious face, “No. That would be crazy. I need to stay with the team. When we’re not killing bad guys, we’re sitting around talking about how we’re going to do the next kill. We eat and sleep together and sometimes don’t bathe for days. It would be shocking to you. I have a switch inside that turns off that part of me that even thinks of normal life. I go to a place in my head that is all about the mission. I am at one with the team. We live and breathe operational details. We swear and belch while we spit tobacco juice and argue. It’s not a place for my wife to be.”
~ Lara ~
Lara folded her hands in front of her feeling defeated. She knew it was no use to continue pleading with Ben. He had made the decision. She didn’t know what came over her anyway. Being at the helm at the firm was going to consume all of her time and attention for the next few months. Hawk needed her to get him onto a firm footing with clients. Finn needed her to help him keep the ballet choreographed with the contractors.
What was the big deal spending Thanksgiving without Ben? Last year she cooked dinner in his condo and invited a table full of friends and Ben didn’t even show up. He had to fly to Toronto. This was just the beginning of her life with Ben. She had to face the fact that he’d be absent for many events. She had been forewarned, but somehow imagined her relationship would be different, that their strong love immunized them. But she was now facing the reality that Ben was married to his profession, and that came first.
“Well, then, I think the subject is closed. I won’t ask again.” She examined his handsome face now filled with angst. She was painfully aware that this conversation had not been easy for him. His occupation was not usually a subject of discussion. She knew he put his work away in a box, as he said, when he was with her living his so-called normal life. Knowing she put him through such torment gave her a pang of sympathy for him.
The man sitting before her was selfless, so much so he ignored his own personal safety and gave up his own comforts and desires. Her eyes searched his and she touched his hand.
“I get it, Ben, and I love you. No, it’s more than love. I admire and respect you. I’m sorry I’m so selfish. I want you for myself. And I miss you terribly when you are gone. Since we met, it’s like I can’t breathe without you.”
~ Ben ~
The moment she touched his hand and said she wanted him, he leapt out of the chair. He wanted nothing more than to hold her in his arms. He moved to her side and she rose; he enfolded her in a snug embrace that nearly brought him to tears. The words raced through his mind, she admired and respected him. She understood. It was difficult for him to speak about what happened to him on the job. But she loved him in spite of his obsession with his crazy dangerous profession.
His lips found the ticklish spot beneath her ear and he nibbled her neck gently at first. He felt her hands moving over him, unbuttoning his shirt. He brought his eager mouth to hers French kissing her and tasting the maple syrup from breakfast lingering on her lips. Although he had made love to her earlier, he wanted her more than ever at this moment.
It was as if she told him he was hers forever. There was an eternal bond of understanding between them and he wanted the feeling to continue. It wasn’t even Noon yet and he couldn’t wait to make love to her again. This time, it would be slow and gentle the way she liked it. He took the lead and removed her shirt, then slipped her running pants off revealing the soft and sultry beauty that was Lara. She pulled him closer and he slipped his running pants off. Her hands moved expertly as if she could read his mind. She touched him and he was instantly ready.
The dappled mid-day sun fell through the window upon her naked form as he carried her to the sofa. Lara was a feast for his eyes and he felt as if he was about to savor the most delicious banquet. She looked up at him and whispered, “I love you, Ben.” Hovering above her on the sofa, he French kissed her for what seemed like forever. Running through his mind was the thought that never ceased to amaze him, she wants me. Excitement mixed with appreciation as he slowly moved his mouth from her full lips to her delicate neck; he paused to inhale the warm vanilla scent that drove him wild. She could have had anyone, but she chose me. Her words lingered in his mind: She respects and admires me. Like a wave of warmth, an intense feeling that could only be described as love swept over him.
Lara’s hands were touching him, exciting him too quickly. He removed her hand for a moment as his breathing became less erratic and slowly kissed her fingertips. “You are so good, darlin,” he smiled. There was eagerness in her eyes. She wanted him. But he continued on the slow course of action. His hands slid between her thighs feeling her silky smooth skin against his rough calloused hand. Her hand guided his and he was thrilled she felt relaxed enough to show him what she wanted. He felt her breath quicken. How he appreciated making love in the daytime. He took his time observing her reaction to every subtle touch. The sexy look she gave him from half-closed eyes said everything.
“Yes, do it…” she whispered. He felt her fingers buried in his hair and her breathing became irregular. “Yes, Ben, yes.” He moved her thighs apart and spent a long time indulging his beautiful wife with whatever her heart desired. All the while thinking, what did I do to deserve her? I love her. I love her. When she screamed his name, he positioned himself above her and they moved in perfect rhythm together. Wanting to give her the most enjoyment, he began slowly
and worked to achieve the perfect mutual crescendo of passion. Never had he felt so emotionally and physically satisfied.
He collapsed in a breathless heap of exhaustion beside her on the sofa. He pulled the blanket from the back of the sofa and wrapped her in it. Lara turned to him and whispered, “That was the best ever.” He thought his heart might burst with love at that moment.
He whispered back, “That was wonderful. No, it was spectacular! I love you, my darlin. Oh, you have no idea how much I love you.” He kissed her neck softly, knowing she loved it. But, in fact, he loved it even more. Holding her after making love was the best part for Ben. He felt like their souls had just touched and wanted to remain immersed in that feeling as long as he could.
~ Lara ~
Lara had never made love as she had with Ben over the past forty-eight hours. It was non-stop, wild and uninhibited. She found herself initiating physical contact with him more and her handsome husband was not shy in his reaction to her overtures. One of the gifts Ben gave her was time alone together and she appreciated his sensitivity to her needs. It seemed he knew what she needed before she did. Ben bringing her to the black-site, then the stay at the cottage put their relationship back on track.
As wonderful as the last two days were, a tiny concern cycled through Lara’s mind every so often. It was Abigail Roth and why she was making such an obvious effort to be close to her husband. Ben belonged to her, not Abby. And Lara promised herself she would lay claim to him if she had to. She hoped it would never come to that, but was prepared for it. Something told her she needed to be ready. Everything about the woman made her suspicious. The way she looked at Ben and how she laughed at whatever he was saying the day she surprised them during lunchtime. No. Abby would not be hanging around Ben Keegan; not if she had anything to do about it.
Her phone vibrated and it was Hawk. She wondered why he’d call her on a Sunday. Lara was tossing a few things into her canvas bag in preparation for a private flight back to Maine.
“Hey, Hawk. What’s up?” she asked.
His deep voice was hesitant on the phone, “I just wanted to make sure I know where I’m meeting you tomorrow for the client appointment. It’s Oakhurst, right?”
“Yes, twenty-five. It’s a big property, take the driveway to the left. It branches off and ends at the ocean. You can’t miss it. It’s a white behemoth!” Lara replied.
Hawk hesitated for a moment then continued, “How was your weekend?
Lara exhaled, “Well, I’m flying back to Maine…it was good. And yours?”
He seemed embarrassed, “Oh, the usual. Nothing much. I moved into the bungalow.”
The phone call ended and Lara hopped into the waiting cab with Ben and they were home within a few hours. Ben picked up Einstein and they settled in at Clearwater Farm for the remainder of the evening, eating dinner and preparing for the busy upcoming week.
~ Abby ~
Thanks to Lucy Adams and her brother, Paul. Abby was now moved into the small condo in the pink Victorian that used to be Lara’s. Paul stayed late that night after pizza and a few beers. For his hard work Abby rewarded him with wild sex on the sofa. But she was alone now as she walked around the place imagining Ben kissing Lara there. She wondered how the two met. It didn’t much matter because she would be working her magic on Ben Keegan soon enough and his annoying stuck-up wife would be taking a backseat to her.
At one time Abigail Roth had Ben Keegan wrapped around her little finger and she knew she could do it again. She still had her good looks and sexy hot figure. If she hung around his office enough at the university displaying her goods, he’d notice. She remembered how sensual a creature he was, pushing her up against the wall French kissing her. He was the guy she wished she had married.
Ross, the West Point whiz kid was the man her parents wanted her to marry, but the relationship had been less than ideal. As a secret service employee, Ross was gone most of the time and Abby soon found out he was sleeping with women on the side every chance he got. Apparently that behavior was common practice and even laughed about in private conversations in his line of work.
The final straw was Ross having sex with a hooker who ended up stealing his wallet and all of his clothing. Not only was it embarrassing, it was inconvenient. At the time he was in Chicago without a wallet or any form of identification. He had to wrap a bed sheet around himself and call the police. Then he had to call Abby to explain, but by then she was tired of his antics and excuses. She was done with him.
Now thirty years old and single, Abby had been on the dating circuit for two years and wasn’t impressed. If the guy wasn’t a gym rat or a motor head, he was married or had an ex-wife with kids and child-support payments. The last few dates she went on were less than appealing. She kicked herself for allowing her parents to manipulate her when she wanted to date Ben Keegan. But pining away about the past wasn’t going to get her back with Ben Keegan, or would it?
Maybe reminiscing about the good old days was exactly where she needed to start with him. As she sat on the sofa in the beautiful pink Victorian gazing upon the flower garden, ideas began forming in her mind. She walked across the room to the cedar chest filled with mementos from her past and started combing through it. She found the bundle of notes that Ben had written in high school and the many photos of their escapades. Her favorite was the one Ben took of her topless on his 1940 Indian motorcycle. She brought the mementos to a local photography shop and had them transferred to a flash drive. Then she drove to a small town just North of Boston that night for a session with her psychologist, Doctor Duncan Norris.
~ Duncan Norris ~
He was excited and happy that Abby kept her early evening appointment with him tonight, even though she had recently moved to Maine. He knew she must be feeling lonely and that meant she needed his help even more. As a practicing psychologist for fifteen years, he had seen many troubled clients. He dealt with everything from mild depression to bi-polar episodes, but Abby was a unique patient and he wanted to keep her.
She had come to him when her divorce was underway suffering from depression and anxiety. But very soon he discovered how easily he could manipulate her. And, as long as no one knew about it, what was the harm? She was a consenting adult and she came to him willingly for these Sunday evening appointments. He didn’t even charge her. They were off the books, so to speak. She showed up and he helped her.
Now approaching fifty, Duncan Norris was a lonely man. What good looks he had were gone. He had always been short, but now he was gaining weight and losing his hair. To make matters worse, his physician told him he had to give up alcohol due to a liver condition. His wife had walked out on him two years ago. Vulnerable, he had allowed himself to become attached to Abby, fully knowing it could end his career. But he didn’t want to think about that right now. What he wanted to think about was Abby, waltzing up the sidewalk to his back entrance.
He ran to the door to let her in and locked it securely behind her. “You’re right on time.” He smiled and guided her to the sofa. She seemed to be most comfortable there.
He scurried to his desk and offered her a glass of water. Her smile was intoxicating, “Yes, I’d love some water. I’m parched.”
He poured her a tall glass and handed it to her before he sat back down. He was already excited just taking in her beauty. She had on a black mini-skirt and his pulse raced as he watched her cross and uncross her long legs. She always started this way, teasing him. And, he loved the game. He knew she wasn’t wearing panties. Chewing on his cigar, he couldn’t take his eyes off her.
Abby spoke with a soft sexy whisper, “I have something for you, Duncan. Something I think will give you a deeper understanding of me and my relationship with Ben Keegan.” She handed him the flash drive and he plugged it into the side of his computer. His breathing was shallow as he gazed at the first few photos. Abby came around his desk and stood next to him and explained each and every picture to him. He was especially enthralled with the topl
ess motorcycle pose. He would definitely copy that one onto his hard drive.
~ Ben ~
As Ben unlocked his university office door early Monday morning he noticed a figure lurking in the hallway. Startled, he turned and let out a sigh of relief when he recognized Abby. “A little jumpy aren’t we, Professor Keegan?” she grinned.
“I didn’t know it was you.” Ben laughed, “Hey, what the hell are you doing here so early?”
“I was going to ask you the same question…” she said with a sultry tone as she followed him into his office.
Ben tried to avert his eyes from her but noticed she was wearing a red dress that hugged her curves and it was well above her knees. Her figure was as youthful and alluring as he remembered, but he pushed the thought away.
Abby sidled up to his desk chair standing way too close for comfort. He could smell her perfume and wondered if she had underwear on. She used to go commando often when he knew her thirteen years ago. But he made a conscious decision to ignore such thoughts.
Instead he focused on what she was saying, “I thought we’d share a cup of coffee before the busy workday began…you know, to catch up on things?”
“I have a coffee pot here and usually brew some. I’ll make you a cup.” Ben rose and awkwardly moved around her.
He was relieved to be halfway across the room from her. But Abby sauntered over and stood close once again. She murmured, “I’m all moved in. Oh God, the place is so cute Ben. I understand it was Lara’s apartment when you met her…”
He tried not to pay attention to what she was saying. But she continued, “So, how did you two meet?”
He so didn’t want to have a conversation with Abby about his wife. He smiled and said, “I stalked her.”
Abby’s dark eyes met his and she smiled right back, “You mean like you stalked me in high school? Remember when you slipped notes into my locker? And, that time you sent flowers to my house from ‘a secret admirer’? And waited by the doorway of every class until I finally caved in and went on a date with you?”
Flawlessly Executed (Dark Horse Guardians Book 3) Page 8