He stiffened slightly, but didn’t say anything. The comfortable silence was gone.
Lisa wished she could take it back or, at least, change the way it’d come out. But she was scared. She’d already lost so much—a father, a mother, a best friend... The latter to the military. She would fight until her dying breath to keep Gordon from doing the same.
So why was she so attracted to someone who was clearly military stock from head to toe? He was so disciplined. Never a minute late or early. Kept a home so clean you could eat off the floor. That darn competence in everything he did. He never mentioned the military, though; he didn’t have to. You looked at him and just knew.
Of course, he was so much more than that, too. The instinctive bond he had with Gordon, the respect he drew from Luke and pretty much everyone who met him. The softening of his eyes when he showed off the foal. His gentleness that morning. He was a good man. An exceptional man.
But none of that changed the fact that he was also military, and her brother was obviously influenced.
It scared her. It really scared her.
They were nearly to Covenant Falls when he spoke again in that neutral voice. “I’m not encouraging him to join the military, Lisa. Track is good for a lot of reasons, mainly self-discipline.”
“Why Gordon?” she asked. It was the question she’d been wanting to ask from the beginning. “Why have you taken him under your wing like this?”
“Because he came by my cabin.” He took a deep breath. “He was with some other kid I could tell was trouble. I saw myself in him.”
“Were you ‘up to no good’ a lot when you were younger?”
“Hell, yes. I had a lot of rage in me. I channeled it into sports, then the navy. It’s not right for everyone. But it was for me.”
“Even after...what happened to you?”
“Yes.”
That darn simple unapologetic declaration again. He didn’t give explanations or reasons or excuses. It was maddening. And unquestioningly appealing.
“Who was the kid with Gordon?”
“I don’t know him.”
“Then how do you know he was up to no good?”
“Sometimes you just know.”
She looked at him, and she knew he wasn’t going to give a more complete answer, that he was keeping something from her. So much for the trust they’d shared that morning.
He pulled into her driveway and put the car in Park.
“Thank you for driving me home,” she said formally.
He gave her a quizzical look. “Anytime.” He started to get out of the car.
“It’s okay,” she said. “I can make it alone and it’s late.” She didn’t want to face him at the door. She was sure now he was keeping something from her and it punctured the magical bubble she’d created.
She escaped out of the car and up the steps before he could protest. If he accompanied her to the door, she would only look at him and think of how something so wonderful this morning had turned bad so quickly.
Her fault? Definitely. She let fear spoil that which had made her heart spin.
It was just as well. Jubal would be leaving soon, anyway. A tumbleweed, she reminded herself. And she was due back in Chicago in eleven months. How fast the first few weeks had gone.
He had stopped at the car door as she scooted out of the car.
“Thank you,” she said as he stood there.
He gave her a speculative look. “You’re welcome.”
“You don’t have to walk me to the door.”
He nodded.
She went into the house and locked the door without looking back. But then she looked out the window. He was gone.
Gordon came down the stairs. “Did Mr. Pierce just drop you off?”
“Yes.”
“I thought you were in Pueblo.”
“I was, but we went by air ambulance. He picked me up at the hospital.”
“Why didn’t you call me?” There was a definite edge in his voice.
“You’ve just started driving. That’s a long, dark road at a late hour.”
“Kerry said you were with him this morning, too.”
She could see where this was going, and it wasn’t good.
She nodded.
“There were a lot of people you could have called for a ride.”
True. “I knew he stays up late.”
“Are you two banging?” He said the crude words with anger. “Is that why he lets me hang around?”
“I seem to remember you were hanging around with him before I even met him,” she shot back. She was appalled at the way he’d asked her. So disrespectful that her resolve not to lie disappeared.
“You didn’t answer the question,” he accused her.
“No, and I’m not going to when you act like this. I’ve had a long day and I’m going to bed.”
All the satisfaction in saving a baby’s life dissolved when she went into the bedroom. Her private life was falling apart. The joy of this morning was made shameful by her brother, and the progress he’d made threatened to crumble. She’d done and said exactly the wrong things.
When she’d expressed her concerns about Gordon to Jubal, had it even been about Gordon or was it about her? When she talked about Gordon’s losses, was it as much about her own? Was she the one who was afraid? Was that why she’d avoided relationships, blaming it on her career?
Although she knew her parents had loved her as much as Gordon and Kerry, she’d always had an ache deep inside that she’d been rejected by her birth mother. Had she subconsciously used Gordon as a reason to nullify the growing feelings she had for Jubal because she was afraid of being left again? She’d taken enough psychology classes to make a case for that scenario.
She turned out the lights but knew she wouldn’t sleep.
* * *
JUBAL REACHED THE CABIN, went inside and finished off the Jameson whiskey Clint had brought. Unfortunately, there wasn’t much left.
He’d almost packed what little he had, thrown it in the car and left for the open road.
But the open road didn’t have the appeal it had a few weeks ago—if it ever really had. He’d manufactured enthusiasm for it while in San Diego. Now he had none.
He’d looked at Clint, saw how happy he was these days. Same with Josh and Andy. Where years ago he would’ve mocked the idea, he now wanted some of that contentment for himself. The time he’d spent with Lisa made him think it might be possible...
But he’d been right in the beginning. She was obviously uncomfortable with the military and that had been his entire life, everything he’d valued. How could they ever reconcile that?
Still, he had commitments now, and he didn’t run away from commitments. He would stay long enough for Luke to find someone to replace him, long enough to learn what he needed to buy a ranch somewhere else. That interest hadn’t gone away. Riding Jacko had helped soothe some of his demons.
He’d heard how much Clint’s dog, Bart, had helped him, and Amos had helped Josh when he’d first came to Covenant Falls. In searching websites about horses, he’d stumbled on several about the role horses played in helping veterans. Maybe there was something to it. The more he read, the more interested he became.
He slept a few hours outside. It was cooler, so he took a blanket. He woke when the sun rose as usual. He decided to skip the swim this morning, and run, rather than drive, to Luke’s ranch. It would clear his head as much as the swim would have.
Luke was already busy feeding the horses. He nodded as Luke came in. “I didn’t hear your car.”
“I ran.”
Luke shook his head. “Well, help me feed these critters. They each have their own menu. It’s listed in front of the stall.”
As they worked, Jubal told him what he had fo
und online about veterans and horses.
“Heard about that,” Luke said. “It’s a good idea. If you’re serious, you might think about getting some rescue horses instead of paying prime prices for blooded stock. You can get both, of course, but it might cut into other income like paid riding lessons and training.”
“I thought about that.”
“Well, think some more. Talk to Al Monroe about it.”
Jubal nodded.
“You may be interested to know the ranch next to ours is going up for sale,” Luke said after a pause. “Ben Carroll’s wife is sick with cancer and he wants to move to Denver where they’ll be close to a good hospital. He’s been getting rid of his horses and only has five he’s kept for sentimental reasons. He’s never ranched for business. It’s been a retirement place for him.”
Luke paused, then looked straight into his eyes. “He doesn’t have the acreage I do, but I’ve been thinking. And what you just said lines up nicely. If you’re interested in buying the property, we can join the land, form a kind of partnership. I like your idea about veterans, and I’ve always wanted to do horse rescue. You can handle pleasure riding, adventure riding and maybe some of that therapeutic work with vets. And I can help train any horses you acquire.”
“What would you get out of it?” Jubal asked.
“Someone close to help if we need it. And I can use the extra pasture for riding.”
It sounded good to Jubal. Perfect, in fact, if it were not for the fact that Lisa and Gordon lived here and they’d surely see each other often. He couldn’t say he loved her. It was way too soon for that. But no woman had affected him as she had. And poor Gordon would be caught in the middle.
“I’ll talk to Monroe,” Jubal said. “Thanks.”
“What for?”
“For taking a chance on me.”
“It’s not taking a chance, Jubal. I’ve seen your work. I’ve seen you interact with people. You don’t say much, but when you do, they listen. I’ve watched you with the horses. You can tell everything you want to know about a man by watching him with horses. My wife agrees.”
“Appreciate that,” Jubal said. “And I’ll think about it.”
“You do that. I wouldn’t want you if you didn’t. Speaking of propositions, that kid Gordon wants to work on weekends to pay for lessons with you. We have a lot of riders and it would take some of the load off. What do you think?”
Jubal wondered what Lisa would think about that. He was honest. “He’s capable and he does what he says he’ll do.”
“Good. Another free hand. I’m not sure what’s happening around here but all of a sudden I’m getting a lot of free help.”
“Looks like I started a trend.”
“Yeah, well, I hope it continues. Let me know what you think about the ranch...”
He nodded, his mind in turmoil as he wondered what in hades he was going to do.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
JUBAL DREW A long breath and walked into Al Monroe’s office Thursday at four p.m.
For the past three days, his life had been consumed by considering Luke’s proposal. Similar to how he used to attack an upcoming mission, he tried to look at all the pros and cons, the risks and benefits. Instead of going to Luke’s ranch, he’d spent the last three days on the computer and phone, talking to people involved in equine and vet programs throughout the country. He even talked to the psychologist he’d seen in San Diego and asked his advice.
He wasn’t yet satisfied when Luke called to check in.
“The seller has received several calls from interested parties,” Luke said. “If you want this, you’ll have to act fast.”
“Can you ask him to wait just a few more days?”
“Sure thing. Just wanted you to know.”
He’d made an appointment with Al Monroe then.
Now he was ready. He’d pulled his financials together, including tax records and investments, even as questions whirled around in his mind. Was he really ready to risk everything?
He’d taken chances all his life, and survived because he trusted his instincts. They were telling him now that this was his chance for contentment. A happy retirement from the life he’d known.
The stars seemed to be in alignment. The right property, a town filled with vets who could help, the right neighbor who could help him on the equine side...
The last month had convinced him he wanted a life with horses. Maybe even needed it.
And then there was the woman with dark hair and beautiful brown eyes who seemed to linger in his thoughts no matter how hard he tried to shove them out...
Al Monroe greeted him courteously enough, but there were obvious questions furrowing his brow when Jubal explained why he was there.
“Ranches are a risky investment these days,” the banker said. “What you want to do is certainly a worthy purpose, but it doesn’t generate much income. And ranches aren’t cheap to run.”
“I don’t assume they are. Luke gave me a ballpark figure. I’ll lease some of the land to Luke, which will bring in something of an income, and I’ll operate it as a working ranch as well as a nonprofit.”
“What would you want from me?”
“Advice. A line of credit if possible.”
“What’s your plan for an initial down payment?”
Jubal handed over the financial statement he’d prepared.
Al Monroe looked it over and raised an eyebrow. “Impressive,” he said. “How did you manage this in today’s economy?’
“Savings and investments. I can buy the property outright, but it would take most of what I have. I’d rather get a mortgage and a line of credit. I want to build a bunkhouse on the property.”
“And you think this will work?”
“I’ve already talked to several similar programs across the country. There are grants available along with donation streams. I’ve talked to military psychologists about the program, too, and they’re enthusiastic. There’s more demand for something like this than there are places.”
“And Luke is backing this?”
“All the way. It was his idea for us to share the load.” He paused, then added, “I understand others have interest in the property and I have to act fast.”
“I think we can arrange something,” Al said. “A few years ago I would’ve tried to discourage you, but I’ve seen what other veterans have done for this town. I’ve been pulled, kicking and screaming, along with their plans to grow the town, but now I’ve become a believer.” He paused, then added, “I want you to understand, if this doesn’t work out you could lose everything.”
“I know. But I want to try. Can’t get anywhere without trying, right?”
“Need a new mission, huh?”
“Something like that,” he said. He’d doubted the wisdom of staying in Covenant Falls where he would come into daily or weekly contact with the only woman who’d made him want a long-term relationship. But he couldn’t turn down Luke’s proposal.
Luke would provide the safety net he needed: experience with ranching and horses. His reputation would help in raising funds and enlisting other ranchers in the program. The more Jubal had studied the other horse therapy organizations, the more he felt compelled to do this. At his core, he knew it was the purpose he’d been seeking.
“I can give you a good mortgage rate on the property and a line of credit,” Al said. They discussed the details, then Al asked, “You want me to go ahead and arrange the sale?”
“Let me talk to Luke and get back to you, but I’m sure we’ll proceed as discussed.”
“In that case,” Monroe said, rising from his chair to shake Jubal’s hand, “I feel it’s safe to say, welcome to Covenant Falls!”
Jubal thanked him and walked out. He had made the second biggest decision of hi
s life. The first was joining the navy. Once he was outside, he called Luke.
“It’s a go,” he said. “Tell your neighbor before he changes his mind on the price.”
“Will do. Covenant Falls is finally getting some notice around the state, thanks to Josh. I’ll call him now.”
Luke called back almost immediately. “Ben’s committed to the price and won’t entertain any other offers, but he’ll need the paperwork ASAP.”
Jubal was used to quick decisions, but nothing this fast and certainly nothing involving hundreds of thousands of dollars. There was much to be said about a small community where everyone—well, almost everyone—trusted each other.
He wanted to celebrate. But with whom?
He looked at his watch. It was five p.m. He knew Clint was on duty.
Really, the person he wanted to celebrate with was Lisa, but she’d shut him down Sunday night.
Well, hell, maybe he would visit the Rusty Nail and get happily drunk with new neighbors to be. It had a hollow sound, but so be it.
* * *
LISA BURIED HERSELF in work over the next three days after her good-then-disastrous Sunday. It should have been easy to do. There were a number of new pregnancies in Covenant Falls, another football injury, sprained ankles, the list went on. There was even a fight at one of the saloons just outside of town. Clint had brought in a man to set a broken arm before taking him to jail.
When she wasn’t treating someone, she was doing paperwork. Janie handled it for the most part, but Lisa had to sign off on almost everything.
The practice was nearly as time-consuming as the hospital had been. But she liked the personal contact with patients. She made follow-up calls to see how they were doing, and some patients who seemed reluctant at first were now quite accepting of her.
She loved walking to work, to lunch, having picnics at the falls. She liked the deep blue sky that was so clear and clean and the nights filled with stars you could never see in Chicago. She loved the fresh, pine-fragrant breezes.
What she didn’t like was being on pins and needles, wanting to see Jubal, but also afraid she would.
The phone rang in the afternoon. It was Eve.
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