I would be remiss not to express my deep love and gratitude for Houston. As a girl from the east side, I grew up absorbing my city’s spirit through the smells of oil and industry, the sounds of trains continually underscoring its energy. My life is an example of the possibilities the city offers to anyone willing to work toward a dream.
QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION
Houston and its changing skyline are an important part of Drops of Cerulean. Discuss how location and architecture are central to the development of the plot of the novel.
What are the major themes in Drops of Cerulean? Discuss how these themes play out in the story (i.e., interconnectedness, free will, homosexuality, redemption, family).
Discuss Ilona and Patrick’s relationship. Do you think Ilona would have been better off had she not met Patrick in the M&M building that fateful day?
The color blue comes up many times in the novel. Can you remember the different places in the story where it was mentioned? What is the significance of the color blue, and why is it meaningful?
Ilona’s life could be described as tragic. What are the different tragedies that befall Ilona, and do you agree with the way that she handled them? Would you have liked her to handle things differently? Discuss what you think might be her greatest regret.
Do you believe that Ilona and Cadmus were finally able to forgive themselves? Were they able to let go of their guilt in the end? Why or why not? Do you believe they each achieved the redemption that they seeked?
Spirituality and religion are a major part of this story. Discuss how the author may feel about organized religion versus spirituality based on what you have read in Drops of Cerulean.
Ilona was plagued with guilt over Patrick’s death, but did Patrick get what he deserved?
Ilona’s decision to sell Cadmus and Callista’s part of Doyle Lumber & Construction was a difficult one for her to make. Do you think Ilona made the right decision? If so, why? If not, why not? Should she have told her children about this transaction sooner?
Cadmus and Robert were homosexuals in the south during the seventies, eighties, and nineties. Do you think they were somewhat protected from the prejudices of the time because of Robert’s success and Cadmus’ money? How might their lives have been different had they not had such advantages?
Had Patrick lived, do you think he would have accepted Cadmus for who he was? From what we know of Patrick’s character, would he have embraced Cadmus, or would he have rejected him?
Discuss Cadmus’ poem at the end of the book. What does this mean? Did Cadmus somehow know that Delphina was coming to him and was actually his mother?
AUTHOR Q&A
1. Can you share what inspired you to write Drops of Cerulean? Also, what are some of your favorite books?
I remember reflecting about my soul when I was a child, perhaps as young as 5 years old. I struggled to reconcile the spirit inside my head and heart with my body. I recall wondering what was the real me—the stillness of my being or the body into which I was born. I could not state it like I am now, but the struggle to understand was very real. I believe this is where my initial appreciation of interconnectedness formed. I have always seen people as more alike than different, as spiritual beings manifested in physical form that search for many of the same things—primarily love, connection, and acceptance.
My favorite book is The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. My copy, weathered after so many reads with layers of annotations and highlights, is never far from reach. Every reread brings a new lesson or a timely reinforcement of what I need to return to the forefront of my mind and heart.
2. What is your writing process like? How do you get in the mood to write? Do you have any special or peculiar writing rituals? Is there anything in particular that helps you stay focused?
Words and ideas come most easily when I am in the present moment, connected to the world around me. It helps when I am still, but awareness is key. Phrases come to me while walking my dog in the neighborhood or walking the halls of school as I take in the world around me. People ask how I created this particular story and the characters. The best way I can describe is that they wrote themselves once I quieted my heart to let them speak.
3. What was your favorite chapter to write in Drops of Cerulean and why? And on the other side of the spectrum, were there any chapters that were particularly challenging for you to write? If so, can you share what it was about these parts of the story that challenged you?
My favorite chapter was the first one I put to paper, the one that begins with “Delphina’s love affair with the divine began when she noted the perfectly appointed seeds of a strawberry.” I did not know where the narrative would lead, but I had the idea of a girl who took solace in the order of nature as an antidote to anxiety. Early on in the writing process, I was overwhelmed with how to capture the intersecting story lines of the characters. I was even questioning if I could write the book. I was teaching at the time, and I recall sitting on a school computer in the teacher’s lounge working on a lesson. A former student from my early teaching years worked as a clerk on this campus. He took a seat next to me and wanted to talk. I remember thinking, I have so much to do! I don’t have time! He asked if he could ask me a question. His question? “Have you ever noticed how strawberry seeds are perfectly positioned?” Needless to say, I accepted this random event as a sign to continue with my writing.
The greatest challenge I faced was weaving the narratives of the three characters in a coherent timeline. I spent a great deal of time writing, deleting, and editing in an attempt to strike the right proportion of moving the story forward at a good pace without spiraling into too many details.
4. The ideas of free will and interconnectedness play a major role in the events of Drops of Cerulean. Can you talk a bit about how these themes play out in the novel?
The theme of interconnectedness and free will frame the piece. Ilona exemplifies the power of free will in her pivotal decision to marry Patrick and forge a new life of her own, a milestone decision I refer to as “Free Will.” While it is a worthy theme to explore and is a result of its own confluence of events, Drops of Cerulean prompts reflection on “free will,” which I believe is tempered by a heavier dose of subtlety and interconnectedness. Ilona’s decision to delay confronting Patrick about his affair, her choice to leave him at the party, and Cadmus’ regrettable words shouted in anger, all resemble everyday decisions that have the power to impact others significantly. This interplay of our thoughts, words, and actions beg the question: Is free will really free, and what responsibility do we have for the everyday acts that impact the world?
5. Do you have a favorite character in the story? If so, what is it about this character that you most appreciate?
As a new writer, I did not anticipate the dear relationships I would form with the characters. I shared in their laughter, cried alongside their struggles, and rooted for their quests of peace and happiness. And while I see a part of myself in all of them, my real-life role as a mother draws me to Cadmus, especially since he is the one character we see literally from birth to death. My heart is heavy over the isolation and rejection, but I take comfort that he was able to assume a life true to his identity, which was quite an accomplishment for this time. I also longed for him to have peace with his mother. Creating an authentic reconciliation scene given the nature of the story was a challenge, but I appreciate the final words he heard, his own words, from Delphina.
6. Ilona is such a good-hearted character with nothing but the best intentions. Can you speak a bit about her misfortunes and why things turned out for her the way that they did?
Ilona’s reticence, from her reluctance to confront Patrick early on in her suspicions, to her acceptance of Michael’s influence over Callista and exclusion of Cadmus, and to her decision to keep the estate decision a secret, all resulted in tragic circumstances despite her good intentions. Ilona made these decisions, but the ramifications were also shaped by the other characters’ thoughts, words
, and actions. Callista’s actions, in particular, fueled her mother’s trajectory.
There were many times I wanted Ilona to take a more assertive approach to her life, but she wrote her own story, and I do believe many of us are impacted by our inactions rather than a grand stand for or against something. And while these times were pivotal in altering the course of her life, I find contentment in knowing she never waivered in her support of her son. I believe her greatest regret was breaking his trust, since she spent her life as a widow making decisions so he could live his fullest life.
7. Did Ilona and Cadmus achieve the redemption that they longed for?
Ilona and Cadmus allowed remorse to act as a prominent narrative in their lives. Ilona accepted her role as more of an observer of the joys of others rather than as an active participant in her own life. Cadmus’ sexuality steered him to a more secluded existence, especially before he met Robert. When left alone to his own reflective nature, he naturally led the balance of this life in remorse at what his sexuality cost his family.
I do believe their souls found forgiveness in a lesson learned, but I do not believe they found it in the way most of us hope to find it for ourselves. Humans identify with ego over spirit. Many of us appreciate the idea of a soul, but we define it within the context of our current lifetime. There is the belief that I, Dawn, will always be Dawn, even after I pass into the next life. I believe parts of Dawn will remain, the lessons I learned and the ones still in need of tutorials. The labels I was born into will not continue with me.
Along this line, the concept of interconnectedness spans time; Ilona did not find redemption as Ilona, but her soul found it in its journey. It is open for interpretation on whether Cadmus heard Delphina’s words. If he, indeed, heard her words, then perhaps he found redemption in the way we, as human beings moored to our identities, long to find it. If he was not cognizant, then his soul’s next sojourn would continue to resolve the restlessness.
8. Houston and its evolving architecture play a major role in this story. Can you speak to the significance of the city and its buildings in Drops of Cerulean?
Houston embodies the mythical spirit of creation and possibility, a spirit that guided the course of Patrick and Ilona’s lives. Although they believed that Houston was a place to forge unique pathways, even they would be humbled by how great the evolution manifested. The city was 72 square miles in 1930, the year the novel begins. Some people still think of Houston as a cowtown, but it is now 627 square miles, which nears the size of Oahu and includes multiple cosmopolitan centers.
The world caught a glimpse of Houston’s can-do spirit in the aftermath of Hurricane Harvey, the devastation shining a spotlight on the cooperation and optimism endemic to Houston, the spirit present from the inception of the city. The historic buildings referenced in the novel exemplify this spirit. The Merchants and Manufactures Building, for example, harnessed the spirit of the railways on the ground floor, appealed to shoppers on the street level, while housing business interests on the upper floors. The Niels Esperson Building, commissioned by a widow and designed with features that continue to capture attention today, was the tallest structure in Texas when it was built in 1927. Mrs. Mellie Esperson certainly made her mark on the city with this feat. I think about the people who graced the original buildings, so full of hope for the future. The people who grace them now share the same hopes and dreams.
On a more literal level, I believe the city’s evolution represents the absolute magnificence that resides in all of us. Patrick and Ilona focused on developing the downtown skyline, a notable and significant tribute to their city but an obvious choice. They did not appreciate the extent of development possible in the north, south, east, and west. They could not have known the extensive development of the tunnel system that threads underneath the current skyscrapers to span 95 city blocks, a labyrinth of restaurants, shops, and services that leads current visitors to wonder why the city streets are desolate during the work week. Just as redemption comes in forms we may not recognize, so does development. We must be open to what progress means and realize that our hopes may manifest in beautiful ways we may struggle to imagine.
Callista’s desire to evolve with the new Houston could be viewed as her desire for newness, for development; however, it also reflects her desire to distance herself and not give reverence to parts of her past. As a contrast, Ilona chose to stay in The Heights after Patrick’s death, as did Cadmus after her death. Their preference to remain in the same original blueprint of the city correlates to their reflective nature and tendency to cocoon rather than evolve.
9. Religion and spirituality also play major roles in the story, with a heavy emphasis on the idea of reincarnation. What inspired you to weave elements of Buddhism into the story?
To take a line from the book, I believe more than not in “another truth, one that permit[s] essences to give life another whirl with lessons learned and lessons in need of a reteach.” I struggle to understand the belief that the composite of life’s choices, a life with many circumstances out of a person’s control, can result in eternal heaven or hell. On one hand, the basic concept of interconnectedness is simple, but when you mix in free will, our connections become a complex matrix that creates a rippling effect. While there were tragic ramifications from decisions made, I also firmly believe in our power to spread goodness and love. I believe we bear the divine within ourselves. I believe we can look for the divine in one another to accomplish beautiful things.
10. Do you have another book waiting in the wings? If so, can you tell us a bit about it?
My next book continues to explore interconnectedness but in a more light-hearted manner. With respect to the characters, my intention to is reflect the belief that people who are seemingly different can find common ground if given the right set of circumstances, which I find an important concept to reinforce given the current political climate. The piece also visits another Buddhist concept, that of impermanence. We know this life is temporary, yet we cling to form and identity. Even though we know this clinging is addictive and leads to suffering, it is a challenge not to indulge in the joys of incarnation when there are amazing sensory experiences to be had.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
DAWN ADAMS COLE WAS BORN and raised in Houston. She received her BA from the University of St. Thomas and her MEd from Harvard University. Dawn wrote Drops of Cerulean while serving as a high school teacher and administrator. She hopes to create thought-provoking literary fiction that challenges readers to live deeply and appreciate interconnectedness. She lives in The Heights with her husband, Burton, and her daughters, Caroline and Elizabeth.
Drops of Cerulean: A Novel Page 39