Jordan recognized Axel’s name. “I don’t know how you got this number, but I’m sorry, I can’t help you.”
Axel paced the length of the office, his loafers clicking across the hardwood. “Dr. Mulls, please hear me out. I’m a decent person. I love your sister, and I would never do anything to harm her. I need to know what happened, why she left. You may not want to hear this, but I’m going insane without her.” The perpetual knot in his gut twisted as he pled his case. “You’re married, right? Do you remember the feeling you had when you knew your wife was the one? What if she up and left without any explanation, no goodbye, nothing? Kerrigan was the first and only woman I’ve ever loved. I thought I was going to spend my life with her. I just don’t understand what happened. One day she was here, and the next day she had disappeared. I’ve been so worried and confused.” Sadness and sorrow resonated in his words, and he didn’t care that the sound of desperation leaked from his lips.
“Mr. Christensen, I hear your pain. I don’t know what happened between the two of you. She hasn’t talked to me about your relationship in detail. All she said was that you hurt her deeply. She’s doing well. I suggest you move on.”
“Dr. Mulls, I’m a desperate man. I can’t move on until I know what I did, why she left. I’m unsettled. We got into an argument because I wanted to take our relationship to the next level and she wasn’t ready—she was insecure.” He moved to the bookcase where he had placed three framed photos of Kerrigan. Tears built behind Axel’s eyes and his voice wavered. “I know I was putting too much pressure on her, but the whole situation is mind boggling how she suddenly quit her job and moved across the country days after an argument. I need closure at least.”
“You don’t know what caused her to leave?”
“Not at all—one minute we were in love and the next minute she was gone. If I knew what I had done, I wouldn’t be so confused. I was planning to propose to her the day of our fight so you can imagine my heartache.”
“I have an idea, but I’m not making any promises. I’ll try to talk with her tonight. If I learn anything, I’ll call you back. You realize that I shouldn’t be helping you.”
“I know this is awkward, but I do appreciate your help. Can you at least tell me how she’s doing? Is she okay? I want to know that she’s okay.”
“She’s having ... a rough patch, but she’ll be okay.” He heard the hesitation in Jordan’s voice.
“Please let me know if she needs anything. I can send money, whatever she needs. She doesn’t have to know it’s from me.”
“You sound like a generous and reasonable man. I can tell you care for her. I’ll call you back this evening. You’re three hours ahead. Should I call you in the morning instead?”
“No. Please call this evening, anytime. I’ll be waiting. I can’t thank you enough Dr. Mulls.”
That evening after dinner, Jordan asked Kerrigan to join him in his study. The two disappeared into the office, and Jordan motioned for her to sit next to him on the sofa.
“How are you feeling little sis?”
“I’m exhausted. I can’t wait for this stage to pass.”
“You’ll feel better soon.” He touched her arm. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something that’s bothering me. I’d like to know about this Axel fellow. What happened between you two?”
She sank deep into the sofa. “I thought he loved me.” She looked down and away from Jordan. “He said and did all the right things in the beginning, but he was moving too fast for me, and it scared me.”
“So, that’s why you left him? Because he was moving too fast and you were scared off?” he asked.
“No. There’s more. We had a horrible argument one morning, and he stormed out on me. Later that day, I stopped at a coffee shop on my way to his house to apologize. He was there with another woman. They didn’t see me, but I saw them and overheard their conversation.”
Her voice trembled, and her eyes filled with tears. “I heard him tell the woman that he had used me, gotten what he wanted and that he was done with me. I worked for his company, and I couldn’t stand the embarrassment I’d face if I went back to work.” She glanced at the wall clock hanging over his desk, wondering how long Jordan’s interrogation would last.
She sobbed a little. “Some of my co-workers had already begun rumors before our relationship was public knowledge. I hated every minute. He confronted one of the leading culprits and announced to everyone in the department that we were involved.” She stared blankly across the room at nothing in particular. Tears streamed down Kerrigan's face, the room melted into a blur of colors and shapes. “I couldn’t face the ridicule of that mob, especially after what I had heard. He’s a wealthy man. I knew he was a player. He told me that he loved me—that he wanted to spend his life with me. I allowed myself to believe his lies. I should have known better.”
Jordan pondered her explanation. “Did you ever confront him about what you saw and overheard or tell him why you left?”
“No. I didn’t see the point.”
“I understand how you feel, but are you sure you have the whole story? Is it possible that you misunderstood what you heard?”
Her face heated. “Jordan, why are you taking his side? I know what I heard. There were no mistaking Axel’s words. He called me a slut and said he got what he wanted. He said he wished I’d disappear. So I did.”
Jordan folded his arms across his chest. “I’m not taking sides. I’m concerned for you. You’re having this man’s baby. Regardless of what happened, I think you have to tell him. Besides, he should be responsible to help you care for the child.”
“Jordan, I believed he loved me. Our whole relationship was a lie. He betrayed my trust. I can’t face him. I can’t talk to him. He hurt me too badly. I will find a way to care for my child without Axel Christensen. I don’t want a damn thing from him.”
Sitting on the desk across from them, his cell phone vibrated, thudding against the wood. “I understand how you feel.” Jordan stood and hurried to the phone. “But, as your big brother, my job is to be concerned about you. Go get some rest. I’m on call this evening. Looks as if I’m being called in.”
“Thanks Jordan. I’ll be fine. You know I’m a fighter.” Rising from the sofa, she made her way to the doorway. He grabbed his coat from the coat rack and his brief case from the side of his desk. Kerrigan trailed him as he rushed to the garage.
He pulled his Lexus onto the road and the car disappeared out of sight. She didn’t know what she would have done without her brother. She wrapped her arms around her belly, a faint smile forming across lips that had been forced into a frown for so long that she wasn’t sure she’d ever smile again. He could be annoying, but she was grateful for Jordan’s protective nature.
Axel answered on the second ring. The phone had become an appendage, as vital as his lungs were to breathing air. “Dr. Mulls, I’m so grateful you called back. Did you learn anything?” He sat at the edge of the bed, his palms suddenly moistening.
“I learned a lot, actually. You used my sister. Who’s the woman Kerrigan saw you with?”
Words were a prisoner in Axel’s parched throat. A bottle of tepid water at his bedside freed his trapped sentences. “I didn’t use Kerrigan. I love her.” His temperature rose one hundred degrees or he had just entered hell. “What woman are you talking about because I have no idea? I didn’t date anyone for almost year before being with Kerrigan and I haven’t seen anyone since she left me.” Axel rose and paced the room with a frantic stride.
“Then you must have a twin brother because she saw you with another woman.” Jordan’s sarcasm bled into his ears making him flinch and yank the phone away. He stared at the thing as if he could melt the device with his vision.
Flush with anger, he brought the phone back to his ear. “Saw me where? When? I swear since the day Kerrigan walked into my office, she’s the only woman I’ve wanted, dated. I don’t know what on earth she thinks she saw.” His voice raised se
veral octaves.
“Well, she didn’t just see you with another woman—she heard your conversation with this woman. You said that you had gotten what you wanted from her—that you were done with her.” Axel’s mind raced at Jordan’s accusation, and his chest pounded. “You called my sister a slut and said you wished she’d disappear. She heard the words come out of your mouth, Mr. Christensen.” Silence fell between them.
Axel’s heart sank. He thought back to his conversation with Melody months ago. He recalled from memory the words he’d spoken. I’m done with her now. I got what I wanted. She’s history to me. I wouldn’t care if she dropped off the face of the earth. In fact, I wish that slut would disappear. He fell into his bedside chair, and slumped as a chill raced up his spine.
Angry that he had allowed his temper to flare and had spoken such awful things in a fit of rage, he closed his eyes and stilled. Why didn’t she confront him? Instead, she ran away. Axel pushed himself to his feet again, walking over to his bar. Bottled water wouldn’t suffice.
Amber liquid filled the glass, nearing the rim. Lifted to thin lips, he swigged down the shot of bourbon, his liquid fortitude. The glass went down on the bar with a gentle tap. “Dr. Mulls, it’s true, I said some very ugly things.” Despite his fury, Axel kept his voice even. “The woman Kerrigan saw me talking to is my cousin Melody. We were discussing my ongoing lawsuit against a woman named Sara Murphy. I told Kerrigan about Sara, but I never disclosed details about the case.” Axel’s body tensed.
Forced from the shadows, he had to talk about the dark secret that he managed to keep hidden from the world. “After ten long years, I had finally won my lawsuit against Sara for defamation of character and a litany of other charges. What’s your email address? I’d like to send you links to some articles that will help explain the whole story.” He sat back down in the chair, resting his elbows on his knees and leaning forward. “This, this …” His stomach tightened, and he clenched a fist. “This scandal had been a giant source of pain in my life, and I was finally done with it. Melody and I were celebrating. The horrible things I said were about Sara, not Kerrigan.”
Jordan didn’t rebuttal. Instead, he gave his email address. “I’m at the hospital now. I may get called into surgery. Give me a minute. I’m trying to skim over your email on my cell phone.”
Nervous waves drummed through Axel’s body as time passed while Jordan read the articles.
“Mr. Christensen, I don’t know what to say.” He paused. “You need to see her and explain things in person.”
His pulse raced. “Please call me Axel. Will you help me Dr. Mulls? I want to fix things between us.” For the first time since Kerrigan left, the weight he carried lightened.
“Call me Jordan. When can you be in San Diego?”
“In two weeks. I’m going out of the country on business tomorrow morning. I’d be heading to San Diego right now if that were possible.”
“You really love her, don’t you?”
“Yes, I do. Please don’t say anything to her. I want to surprise her.”
“You have my word.”
His heart swelled. “Thank you Jordan.” He had reason for hope.
They hung up. Renewed energy washed over him. Jordan had discovered the reason for her abrupt return to San Diego. Axel leaped up from his chair, anxious, unable to sleep, and filled with anxiety. He wanted to cancel his trip and see her immediately, but he couldn’t. Six business clients would be affected. He knew he would be distracted throughout his trip, thinking about her the entire time. He was determined to return a week early. He composed an email to Brenda, requesting she send a gift basket to Jordan’s office thanking him for his help. He also instructed her to make seven-day accommodations at one of the best five star hotels in San Diego. The next two weeks would be hell, but he hoped the pay-off would be worth the torture.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Monday, December 24
Kerrigan could feel her belly getting harder and rounder now. She was just over ten weeks pregnant. The daily dash to the nearest toilet or trash bin to release the contents of her stomach was getting better day by day. Telling her parents about her pregnancy had been one of the most difficult things she had ever done. Although she was twenty-nine years old, they were disappointed and worried about her being a single parent. She joined her mother for lunch one afternoon to talk about her predicament.
Now that she was responsible for the little life growing inside her, she was extra careful about what she ate. Kerrigan was glad that her mother had suggested a restaurant that served fresh organic meals. They were seated in a booth along the wall and sunlight flickering through the shaded window cast bands of glowing amber across her face. The lanky waiter strolled over to their table introduced himself as Jeff, and took their drink orders. She had counted the minutes before her mother tore into her. Eight.
“Kerrigan, I know you’ve said that you don’t want anything to do with the baby’s father, but you ought to at least ask him to help you. Children are expensive.” Her mother’s graceful piano fingers unfolded the napkin and laid the cloth across her lap. “Your father and I struggled for many years, and there were two of us in the household.”
“Mom, I know this will be hard, but I can do it on my own. My new job at the boutique doesn’t pay as well as the job in Atlanta, but the work will keep me occupied and provide enough income for rent and basic needs.” She had already purchased a few items including a crib from the boutique where she worked. Each week, she purchased new things. “Besides, I haven’t told him. I can’t deal with him right now.” The mere thought of talking to Axel gave her palpitations.
Her mother eyed Jeff as he placed two glasses of water on the table. “Honey, I understand that you’re hurting.” She made sure he was out of earshot before continuing. “You may not want to face or deal with whatever happened between the two of you, but you need to think about your child ahead of yourself. You have to tell him. He has a right to know about his child. He may surprise you and offer to help.”
Kerrigan pushed back from the table, sinking deeper into the booth’s plush leather seat. “I’m not involving him, and that’s that.” Why couldn’t her family respect what she wanted?
“You sound pretty angry and hurt. Do you want to tell me about what happened?”
She rolled her eyes and huffed. “Not in particular. The fact that I’m pregnant should spell everything out for you. I was naïve and stupid. He simply wanted sex. I thought he cared about me, but he was only using me. I’m knocked up. There’s nothing else to tell.” Grabbing the glass with two hands wishing it were potent enough to drown her troubles, she brought her lips to the rim and gulped.
Her mother raised her brow and pursed her lips. “What does he do for a living?” She asked, staring a hole through Kerrigan.
Outside on the patio, a man and a little girl sat a table alone. Turning away, her eyes met her mother’s imposing stare. “He was my boss. He owns the company where I worked.” The thought of Axel playing any part in her child’s life like the man outside made tears well up.
“Are you talking about the man with the odd name? Then surely he can help provide for your child.” She raised her hands in the air.
She greedily gulped her water. “Mom, please. I don’t want to talk about Axel. I was incredibly stupid to get involved with him. I should have known better. People like him don’t get involved with ordinary people like me. I’m trying to move on. I don’t want anything to do with him.” Her hands trembled, and she could feel her face warm.
“What do you mean people like him don’t get involved with ordinary people like you?” Kerrigan, you’re beautiful and intelligent. That’s his problem if he doesn’t recognize what a gift you are. Honey, are you still in love with him?” Her mother asked, placing a hand on Kerrigan’s forearm.
“Mom,” Kerrigan huffed, and then she turned away, her gaze back to the man and child outside. “Yes, I love him, but it was foolish of me to get involved and to
give away my heart to him. It was dumb of me to think he loved me back. He comes from a different world than mine. I was an experiment to him. Now, can we drop the subject? I don’t want to talk about him.” Eyes heavy with moisture, she wiped the burgeoning tears away. Black smudges stained her white napkin with a swirl of squiggly shapes from mascara that rubbed off.
“Okay honey. I’m sorry I upset you. Your dad and I are worried about you and our unborn grandchild. We just want what’s best for you.” She leaned over the table and tapped the tip of Kerrigan’s nose the way she had always done since Kerrigan was old enough to remember. “You know that we’ll support you in your decision. We’ll do whatever we can do to help.”
Her mother had a way of making her feel as if she was a little girl safe under the protection of doting parents.
Taut lips relaxed, a spontaneous rise at the corners of her mouth was a wavering smile as stark as the smudges of stained mascara smeared on her white napkin. “I hadn’t planned on being a single mother, but I’ll be okay. The baby will be okay, too. Somehow, I’ll figure it all out.” She closed her eyes. If only she could believe her own words—that everything would all work out in the end.
Wednesday, December 26
Kerrigan had changed everything in her life when she moved back to San Diego. The way she had left things with Ashley was bad. Before she canceled her email account, she had sent Ashley a message to say that she would be in contact once she was settled. Now that she was pregnant, she had been reluctant to reach out, afraid that Ashley might say something about the baby to Axel. Everyone seemed to be siding with him, saying he had a right to know. Instead, she decided to mail a short letter to Ashley.
Ash,
I miss you so much. I hope you’re okay. I’m sorry I left the way I did without saying goodbye. I’ll explain everything to you one day. I think you’ll understand. My life has taken on some unexpected twists and turns, and I’ve certainly been better than I am now, but I know I’ll get through the challenges ahead of me. I’m still trying to get myself settled in my new home and life. I found a job working at a small boutique. The pay isn’t great, but I like my co-workers, and along with my savings, I can pay the bills. I’m learning the ins and outs of running a small boutique. You know that’s always been my dream. Please don’t let Axel know that you heard from me. That chapter in my life is over, and I’m trying to move on peacefully. I’ll write again soon.
Closer To You (Suits in Pursuit) Page 12