Scars of my Past

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Scars of my Past Page 25

by DC Renee

“It’s not the same,” I complained. She had to know it wasn’t wholly just for Cam. I needed this as much as I knew he did.

  “There’s nothing you can do, Gen. I’m sorry,” she said with a shrug and patted my shoulder.

  As if Cam could sense my distress, he looked at me from across the room where he was talking with some of his friends and winked at me with a smile playing on his lips. We’d been at the party for about an hour, and he had barely left my side, and when he did, like that moment, he glanced my way every minute or so, his eyes lighting up every time they landed on me. It had been like that since the first moment. I had thought—maybe more like worried—that it would fade, but it hadn’t yet, and I didn’t think it ever really would.

  “It doesn’t bother you, huh?” Amanda asked. I could feel her stare as I looked at Cam.

  “Huh?” I asked.

  “I mean, you’re going through so much trouble to make the past different. You’re trying to make it better by erasing the bad. And I didn’t even have to be there to know it was bad. And it was all because of him, Gen. How can you be okay with everything he did and still love him? How can you just forget the pain you felt and all the misery he put you through? How can you look at him like he just handed you the whole galaxy when all you asked for was the moon? How, tell me how you’re okay with all this?”

  “I don’t see him as who he was,” I told her. “I see him as who he is. And the guy he is now … Can’t you see how great he is, Mandie? He’s smart, and caring, and protective, and loving. And he does everything in his power to make me feel special and make me feel beautiful. Hell, he tells me that all the freaking time. He couldn’t be further from the Tyler I knew if they truly were two different people. I love him. I just do.” I said all this as I stared at Cam, watching him talk animatedly with his friends, his expressions clearly written on his gorgeous face.

  I turned to face Amanda when I was done to find a big smile spread across her face.

  “Good,” she said with a satisfied nod. “I was just checking.”

  “Oh, you little—”

  “I love you too,” she cut me off with a wink.

  “Yeah, yeah, love you too,” I replied with a smile.

  “And he loves you like crazy,” she said with a nod in Cam’s direction. “So stop stressing about the little things you can’t control. Gym, no gym. He doesn’t care. All he cares about is you. So do your thing, and the rest will work out. Trust me.”

  “Yeah, you’re right,” I replied in slight defeat. And Amanda was right. I wanted to give Cam—and me—something memorable for our one year anniversary, but all that mattered was that we were together and in love. And, oh boy, were we in love. Now I just had to wait to give him the rest of what I had planned.

  CHAPTER SEVENTY-EIGHT

  Future

  Cameron

  Six days later …

  IT’S FUNNY HOW I never thought of this place as home until a couple of days ago. I guess I never felt like I had a home at all. There was the city I was born in, the city I lived in, and this place that held so many painful memories for me. When Gen first told me we were “going home” for our one year anniversary, I didn’t understand what she meant. It only took me a moment to realize she meant the place where we first met, where we first crossed paths, and where the ball started rolling on what would end up as our love story. She explained that the place held a lot of good memories for her—from her childhood, the love her parents had for her, the activities, and even her home. The only thing that overshadowed it were the memories from high school—caused by me. And she knew my memories were tainted in a way that made the place seem dark and sinister.

  “It wasn’t all bad,” I’d told her in response. “I was popular and the star quarterback,” I said with a wink.

  “Which is great and all, but I know how even one bad memory can wipe out all the good ones.” I frowned, knowing she was right. “So …” She trailed off, almost as if she was trying to build up to her point. “We’re going to make new memories—good memories—to wipe out the bad ones. We’ll leave that place on a high.”

  I was skeptical, but I trusted her, and the shy enthusiasm she had for the idea made me want to be a part of it all that much more.

  And honestly, the more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea myself. I couldn’t change the past, but I could rewrite some details, and I had one particular detail that definitely needed rewriting. I just needed some help with it.

  Even after all that, this place just seemed like a good place to visit, a great place to make some new memories, and a perfect place for my surprise. That was all it was. It wasn’t “home.”

  But that all changed the minute we arrived. I couldn’t say it was one thing in particular or a specific event. It was just a feeling. Stepping foot on this soil with no more secrets kept tight and the girl of my dreams on my arm, I was coming back to where I first encountered her—and it just felt right. It felt like home. I’m not saying I’d settle back down there—at least, not in the near future—but it wasn’t a strange place anymore. Maybe it was Gen. Actually, it probably was Gen. She made anyplace feel like home when I was with her, cliché as that sounded.

  And then we got right down to business. Gen had a jam-packed schedule of things we would do and places we would visit. Our friends came with us, something that, try as she might, she couldn’t hide. There were just too many people to keep quiet. I knew she wanted to “re-enact” certain events with the people we cared about. They would have been there regardless because of my little surprise too. She just didn’t know that.

  I had an inkling about some things—like a party around a bonfire in the middle of a field like we used to have in high school. I had gone to plenty, but I knew Gen hadn’t. We cuddled by the fire, and she sat on my lap most of the time, claiming that as our own. We had a date at the burger place that literally everyone still went to. We “snuck” into the bar that never carded high school kids. We did all the things that the normal high school kids did back when we went there—only this time, we did it together. It wasn’t that those things weren’t fun for me back then. Drinking, hanging out with friends, flirting, having sex—how could that not be fun? But it had all been done with ulterior motives—for me to forget what life was like at home. I threw myself into the mix more than others so I wouldn’t think too hard about real life. Without having to voice this, Gen realized it. She knew even those fond memories were laced with bitter thoughts.

  They no longer were because when I’d look back at those times, I’d see these instead.

  There were a few surprises in store I hadn’t expected—like playing football with my friends and some of the varsity high school boys while hearing her voice cheer above everyone else’s. I hadn’t expected to sit in a classroom being taught about sex education by Roger. I think she planned that one just to get a laugh. Roger had way too much fun role-playing that one.

  And the one that truly caught me off guard was when we pulled up to the house I’d lived in.

  “What are we doing here?” I asked sharply. There were so many things and places I wanted to revisit. This, however, was not one of them.

  “Do you trust me?” she asked.

  “Yes,” I responded without hesitation.

  “Then follow me,” she said as she got out of the car.

  We walked slowly toward the front door. Everything looked the same but different. “Why are we here?” I asked as she knocked on the door. She didn’t respond, just gripped my hand. I wasn’t sure if it kept me from running or to give me strength.

  A woman in her forties opened the door. “You must be Gen,” she said with a wide smile.

  “Hi, Mrs. Polis. Thank you so much for this,” Gen told her before introducing me. I still didn’t know what we were doing there.

  “Please, call me Marie. Come in, come in,” she encouraged, and I followed Gen inside. “Let me give you guys a tour,” she said as soon as we were inside. She led us through the house. Th
e layout was exactly as I remembered it, but everything was so different. The walls were painted in soothing grays and blues. Pictures adorned the walls, all of her and who I assumed were her husband and her two little boys. “That’s Gary and Sam, my twins,” she said as we passed a larger picture of just the two of them. She showed us their rooms—each decorated with posters and action figures, toys galore. Things I had never had. “Bryan and I just can’t seem to say no to them when they ask for anything,” she said with an unapologetic smile.

  She continued the tour all while chatting about the things and pictures we passed and the funny stories associated with each corner of the place.

  Finally, she led us to the kitchen and gestured for us to sit as she got us some drinks and some cookies. She seemed exactly like how I wished my mom had been all her life.

  “Gen told me you grew up here,” Marie said after sitting down with us. “I love this place,” she said with a genuine smile. “The boys love it too. We came from a cramped two-bedroom apartment before, so you can imagine they were thrilled to have their own rooms,” she said with a laugh. Her happiness was infectious, and I couldn’t help but smile at the thought of two little hooligans running rampant in this place. “I hope it’s not too weird to see your home taken over by someone else, but when we saw it, Bryan and I fell in love.”

  Over the course of the next half-hour, she told us about herself and her husband and shared some stories about her kids. It was blatantly obvious she loved her family with all her heart, and although it pained me to hear it, it felt good too.

  Gen and I thanked her for her time and left.

  It wasn’t until we were seated in the car waiting for it all to sink in before driving away that Gen finally spoke to me about the entire situation. “I can’t take those memories from you. I can’t undo what happened to you or how that house represents all the suffering you endured, but I wanted you to see that the place is no longer haunted by the ghosts of misery. It’s filled with a family grateful to have a roof over their head, space for their kids to run and play, and love so bright that there is no longer room for darkness. Don’t think of that place as your prison anymore, Cam. Don’t even think of it as someone’s house. Think of it as someone’s home.”

  I reached across the center console and pulled her face toward mine, searing her lips with the depth of my love. “God, Gen, I love you so fucking much,” I told her.

  “I love you too,” she whispered back.

  I couldn’t ever get enough of hearing her say those words, and even after a lifetime with her, I wouldn’t tire of them.

  CHAPTER SEVENTY-NINE

  Future

  Genevieve

  Three hours later…

  HAVE YOU EVER had a surprise you had no clue was coming, but when you looked back in time, you realized you clearly missed the signs the first time around? I should have figured Cam had a few things up his sleeve for our anniversary. I mean, I didn’t think he wouldn’t get me anything. I just figured he’d get me jewelry or something sentimental like a photo album of our year together. I had made it clear that this week was all about reliving the past, but making it better, which was my gift to him. Never did I dream he’d do the same for me.

  But looking back, there were signs. Some were simple, like his nervousness. Others made me feel like a complete oblivious dork, such as finding him and Amanda whispering about our anniversary. In all fairness, I knew they were talking about my gift. I figured he was asking her for advice. I didn’t know they were conspiring to “go big or go home.”

  After we had left Cam’s former residence—I refused to call it his “home”—he practically rushed me back to our hotel.

  “Cam, what are you doing? We have dinner reservations,” I complained when he literally shoved me into Amanda’s hotel room.

  “I canceled our reservations,” he announced.

  “What? Why?”

  “Gen, you’ve made this week one of the best weeks of my life, but I think it’s only fair that I get tonight to surprise you, and hopefully make it one of the best days of your life.”

  I wanted to ask a million questions, protest some, and maybe determine what the heck was going on, but Amanda dragged me in and closed the door before I had a chance to do any of that.

  “Mandie, what’s going on?” I asked.

  “My lips are sealed, but I will tell you this. He thought of this wholly on his own, which makes it that much sweeter,” she said as she freaking swooned—about my guy. She was lucky I loved her so darn much.

  “What the heck did he think of?”

  “Your surprise, duh.” Yeah, she really said, “duh.” My best friend for you—extremely mature. “Now, time to get you ready.”

  And the next thing I knew, I was undergoing a makeover Amanda style. I was surprised she let me grab a quick shower on my own, considering how controlling she suddenly became.

  “Everything must be perfect,” she announced when I kept pushing her hands away to keep her from going overboard.

  No matter how many ways I asked or how often I swatted her away, refusing to let her curl my hair or do my makeup until she told me what was going on, she didn’t budge.

  “Gen, I love you like a sister, but if you don’t let me do my job, I will have to tie you down.” She meant it too.

  “Mandie, please. I’m dying here.”

  I think she finally gave up on wrestling with me because she went with logic. “Look,” she said, “Cam loves you more than I can even put into words. He wants to do something for you to show you how much he cares. You’ve given him so much, Gen, whether you realize it. Let him give you something too. Just sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride.”

  How could I argue with that? And suddenly, getting ready became infinitely easier.

  When all was said and done, I stood in front of the mirror and gasped at what I saw. “I’m… I’m …”

  “A princess,” Amanda finished.

  She was right. I looked like royalty with my hair pinned up in a stylish updo, my makeup understated but highlighting my best features, and a deep blue floor-length gown that looked very similar to the yellow dress that Kate Hudson wore in How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days, open back and all.

  I wanted to ask where I was going, but I knew Amanda wouldn’t answer.

  “Thank you,” I told her, tears threatening to ruin my makeup.

  “Oh no, no crying. Save them for later,” she scolded right we heard a knock on the hotel door. “That must be Prince Charming,” she said with a smile.

  I opened the door to Cam dressed in a tux, and I had to hold the doorframe to keep my wobbling knees from letting me fall to the floor. I’d seen Cam in all forms of dress, from naked to suits, but never in a tux. Can you spell drool worthy?

  “My God, Gen, you’re stunning,” he said, just as spellbound as I was. “Shall we?” he asked, giving me his arm. I took it, and he thanked Amanda before we walked out.

  Waiting in front of the hotel was a limo just for us.

  “Do I get to know what’s going on yet?” I asked.

  “It’s our one year anniversary. I wanted to make it special,” he said as he led me inside the limo.

  “It’s special, all right. But where to?” I asked.

  “First dinner,” he said, “and then your surprise.”

  He took me to a fancy steakhouse a few miles from the hotel. We were clearly overdressed and getting looks from other patrons left and right, but I didn’t care. This night was already magical regardless of whatever else Cam had planned. They could look as much as they wanted—all they’d see was a couple in love.

  Once dinner was over, and we were back in the limo and on our way to our surprise, I started to understand what was going on.

  “We’re headed toward …” I trailed off as we stopped in front of the school. “I don’t get it,” I said. “What are we doing here?”

  “You’ve made so many new memories for me this week, Gen. I think it’s only fair I make one for yo
u.” I couldn’t help the tears that fell from my eyes.

  “I wanted to do this for you,” I whispered.

  “You know what they say about great minds,” he said with a smile. “I guess I beat you to it,” he added with a wink before pulling out a plastic box from the ice chest in the limo. “What would a prom be without a corsage and a boutonniere?” he asked as he pulled out the flower arrangements from the box, slipping the corsage on my wrist before handing me the boutonniere to pin to his lapel.

  “Would you do me the honor of being my date for prom?” he asked as we stepped out of the limo.

  “I’d love nothing more,” I responded, my eyes still wet from the tears that hadn’t stopped coming slow and steady.

  When we walked into the gymnasium, I felt my jaw drop. It had been transformed into a winter wonderland, complete with cheesy decorations and a DJ playing the music popular from when we were in high school. I looked around at the small crowd of our friends, and I couldn’t have been happier. “You … this … it’s …” I didn’t have the right words to express what kind of emotions I was feeling. I was beyond stunned, overwhelmed, incredibly overjoyed, shocked beyond belief, and more importantly, surrounded by love.

  “I had a little help,” Cam answered as he turned me around to face him. “I love you, Gen, more than words can say, and I wanted to show you just how much. Even this,” he said as he waved his hand around, “doesn’t do justice to express my love for you, but I hope you get just how far I’d go to make you happy, to make your dreams a reality. I love you,” he repeated. My tears had stopped when the surprise of seeing everything sank in. But at Cam’s words, they came back full force, stronger than ever.

  “Those had better be happy tears,” Cam said as he held my chin with his fingers, staring at me to make sure I wasn’t upset.

  “Happy doesn’t describe it,” I told him and kissed him so passionately that only the catcalls and whistles from our friends stopped me from showing him just how happy I was.

 

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