by CBelle
Cameron crossed his arms. He frowned down at Paige. “Something tells me you could come up with a hundred reasons why I can’t spend some one-on-one time with my daughter.”
For a moment she felt like a deer caught in the headlights. Cameron’s eyes were like laser beams boring a hole straight through her. She opened her mouth, then snapped it shut.
“You’re right. I’m sorry,” she apologized. “This is all new for me. It’s only ever been me. And Fiona. And lots of support from God along the way. Emma had a great bond with my dad but he was too ill to take care of her.” She shrugged. “I suppose I’m having a little trouble letting go.”
“She’s safe with me. I’d never let any harm come to her. Not on my watch.” His expression was so fierce it almost made Paige laugh. But she knew he was serious. He was fighting for some quality time with Emma and she had no right to stand between them. After all, she had come back to Alaska for this very reason. So Cameron could forge a bond with Emma. There was no point in putting roadblocks in his path.
“I know, Cameron. It isn’t that I don’t think she’s safe with you. I just need someone to cut the cord I’ve had tethered to me since the day she was born.” Paige’s voice cracked with emotion.
He placed a hand on her shoulder. “Hey. Nobody’s asking you to cut off any ties. I just need to establish something between Emma and myself that is separate and apart from you. It’s wonderful that you’ve acted as a bridge between us, but at some point I have to step up as a strong presence in her life.”
“I get it. And I have to admit that in the beginning I was really worried about the lure of the Prescott family. I kept thinking that you had so much to offer Emma. It’s hard sometimes to deal with the fact that she has no family on my side other than myself. There are no bells and whistles. No little cousins to run around with or a treasure-hunting grandpa to hang out with.”
“She has you. That in itself is amazing. And Jasper hung up his treasure-hunting days when Grace discovered that the Prescott ancestors didn’t strike it rich in gold. No more spelunking for him!”
“Oh no. What a shame,” Paige said. “He must have been devastated after believing in that Prescott family legend for so long.”
Cameron shrugged. “Sometimes when one dream dies, it’s time to find another one. How does Saturday sound for Emma? I’ve taken the day off.”
“That will be fine,” she agreed with a nod, wishing she still didn’t have qualms about Emma spending the day with Cameron without her.
As he walked away to take care of a customer, Paige couldn’t get Cameron’s comment out of her mind. Giving up on a dream wasn’t half as easy as he believed. She had once imagined a life with him—until those visions had crumbled into dust. Even though she had stopped fantasizing about a future with Cameron years ago, all of a sudden she couldn’t stop thinking about what might have been if events hadn’t altered the course of their relationship.
Marriage? A cozy house with a view of the mountains?
She immediately chided herself for taking this sentimental trip down memory lane. Aspirations were wonderful things, but it wasn’t wise to continue to fantasize about things that would never come to pass.
* * *
Cameron wiped his brow as he quietly shut the door on the guest room he had transformed into a makeshift nursery. It still had a long way to go before it was sugar, spice and pink teddy bears, but he was committed to finishing the room with a fresh coat of paint and all the trimmings.
After running him ragged for the past few hours, Emma had finally settled down for a nap. But not before calling out for her mama numerous times. Finally, out of sheer exhaustion she had drifted off into slumber on his shoulder. Using an equal measure of agility and finesse, he had placed her down in the crib that had been passed on to him by Liam. At first he had felt guilty about taking the crib that Liam had built with his own hands for Aidan, but his brother had insisted. Something about it had felt wrong, as if Liam didn’t believe he would ever find love again and add to his family.
Why hadn’t anyone told him how difficult it was to watch a fourteen-month-old for a few hours? The diaper change had thrown him for a loop. He scratched his head, still feeling unsure as to whether he had put the thing on correctly. And she had been fidgeting so much that he’d ripped a few of them while trying to change her.
Did the diapers even fit properly? Her pudgy little legs had looked crammed in. He didn’t want her legs to chafe against it, thus giving Paige evidence of his deficiencies in the baby-watching department.
He let out a grunt. Was he really standing here worrying about diapers? It was amazing how much self-doubt could arise when child care was involved.
Cameron was pretty sure he had sprinkled her with so much baby powder that she resembled a powdered doughnut. But it wasn’t as if Paige had given him a how-to manual. Sure, she had passed on a few tips, but he was flying by the seat of his pants.
Out of sheer desperation he had placed an SOS call to Liam, telling him he needed his assistance immediately. Liam had promised to come over as soon as possible. Cameron hadn’t mentioned anything to his brother during the phone call about watching Emma for the day.
Within fifteen minutes he heard the screech of tires in his driveway. Before Liam could even let himself in, Cameron jerked the door open to greet him. With his dark hair and rangy build, he bore a passing resemblance to him and Boone. Girls had always claimed Liam had a soulful and sensitive vibe. Like Honor, he was tenderhearted.
“I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy to see somebody in my life.” Cameron felt his whole body sag with relief.
“What’s the emergency?” Liam asked as he stepped inside the house. He was looking all around with a frantic expression. “You said it wasn’t anything medical, but it sounded urgent.”
“It’s Emma.” He put his fingers up to his lips. “Shh. I just put her down for her nap.”
“You didn’t mention she was here.” Liam frowned. “Did something happen?” he whispered.
“I’ve been watching her for the last four hours. You know how it is. Parent-child bonding time. But I think I may be in way over my head. She’s been a little... Um, how should I put this? Challenging?”
Liam’s jaw dropped. He stood as still as a statue. “That’s the urgent matter you called me over here for? You have got to be kidding me.”
Cameron frowned. “Hey! Have a little compassion.”
Liam folded his arms across his chest and shook his head. “Here’s my advice. Man up, little brother.”
“I am manning up. I just needed some backup just in case.” His voice trailed off. He wasn’t sure how to put his concerns into words.
Liam scoffed. “In case what? She’s a little over a year old. Are you afraid she’s going to explode or something? Get a grip!”
Cameron gulped. “I’ve been reading this book. It’s called How to Tame a Toddler and it’s a runaway bestseller. Problem is, none of that stuff worked with Emma.”
Liam raised an eyebrow. “Tame? She’s not a circus animal.”
Cameron rolled his eyes. “It’s just that I need some pointers from someone who’s been there. She was crying for quite a bit,” he admitted, wincing at the memory of Emma’s heartbreaking wails. “I almost caved in and called Paige.”
“If she cries, try to see what’s wrong. Check her diaper. See if she’s thirsty or hungry,” Liam suggested.
“Gee, why didn’t I think of that?” Cameron drawled.
Liam gritted his teeth. “’Bye, Cameron,” he said in a clipped tone.
“No! Sorry. It just slipped out. I’m a little bit fried at the moment. Please don’t go.” Cameron pulled at his brother’s arm.
Liam turned back toward him. “What are you so panicky about, anyway? She’s a baby.”
“A baby I’m just
getting to know.” Cameron raked his hand through his hair and let out a ragged sigh. “I’m not feeling sorry for myself, but I missed out on the first months of caring for Emma. I should be a pro at this by now, but instead I’m floundering.”
Liam touched Cameron on the shoulder. “That was a tough break, you missing out on all that time with her. I can’t imagine not having experienced Aidan’s first moments. I know this hasn’t been easy for you. And believe it or not, all first-time fathers have fears and doubts. It’s perfectly normal.”
A feeling of sadness enveloped him. “I’m trying not to wallow in it. And I know I’m blessed to have Emma, but I hate this feeling that I’m never going to be able to make up for lost time.”
“You can’t turn back the clock, Cam. But what you can do is be there one hundred percent for your daughter from this point forward. You can get to know her day by day, moment by moment. Children are resilient. And as long as you nurture them, love them and keep ’em safe and protected, you can consider yourself a very accomplished father.”
Cameron let go of the deep breath he had been holding. “I think that I can do all of those things. Especially the love part.” He grinned at his brother as excitement rose up inside him. Fatherhood was going to be a journey, one he was looking forward to tremendously. He was already anticipating moments such as bringing her to her first day of nursery school and taking her sledding at Deer Run Lake. And like Liam had said, every father harbored fears. It was how he tackled those fears that would determine his future with Emma.
“You’re going to be an excellent father, Cam. You’re well on your way,” Liam said.
Hearing those words from his big brother meant the world to him. Liam was an amazing dad, one who had raised Aidan in the shadow of a tragedy that had threatened to pull Liam under. Because of Aidan, his brother had fought his way through that dark time and emerged a stronger father than ever to his little boy. If Cameron could be half the father Liam was, he’d consider himself a success.
All of a sudden he heard soft cries from the baby monitor.
“That was a quick nap,” he grumbled. “Let me go check in on her. Maybe I can get her back to sleep.”
“Or not,” Liam said with a smirk. Cameron scowled at his brother. He was pretty sure Liam was enjoying seeing him a little bit frazzled. He walked a few feet down the hall until he reached the nursery. Cameron wrinkled up his nose as soon as he opened the door.
“What’s going on?” Liam asked from right behind him.
He turned toward his brother. “There’s a baby in there who doesn’t smell too good.”
Liam threw back his head and chuckled. “Dirty-diaper duty. It’s part of the terrain, Cam.”
“Hey, you wouldn’t want to show me how it’s done, would you? Show me the ropes?” he asked hopefully.
“Listen, this is a rite of passage. It’s a dad thing. You’ve got to do this and take it on the chin.” He gave him a thumbs-up sign. “No worries. You’ve got this.”
“Thanks, Liam,” he muttered as he entered the room and advanced toward Emma’s crib. She was lying on her back and looking up at the mobile he had just placed on the ceiling yesterday. It was a sun, moon and stars. At night they lit up with a phosphorescent glow. Despite her earlier cries, she now seemed content to babble and stare up at the whirling figures.
Cameron gazed down at her, overwhelmed by the depth of his love for this sweet, amazing child. He wouldn’t trade her for anything, dirty diapers and all. Just then Emma looked up at him and gifted him with a beatific smile. She began to pump her little legs in the air and reached her hands up toward him.
“Dada. Dada,” Emma cried out. “Up. Me up.”
It felt as if all the air had just left his lungs in one single breath. Dada! For a single moment everything went still and he had to lean against the crib railing for support. His knees threatened to give out underneath him.
Cameron reached down and lifted her into his arms. He cradled her against his chest as he fought back tears. Dada. She had said the most precious word in the universe. He felt like throwing his fist up in the air in triumph, but he didn’t want to startle Emma. No, he would act as cool as a cucumber even though he wanted to jump up and down.
This moment would be forever imprinted on him like a tattoo. Someday he would describe this event to Emma in excruciating detail. He might even tell her about her dirty diaper just to see her roll her eyes at him. For now, he simply wanted to savor this blessing.
God was good. A few weeks ago he hadn’t even been aware of his daughter’s existence. And now she was firmly embedded in his heart. He had officially fallen in love with his baby girl.
* * *
Paige checked her watch again as she waited in her car at the end of Cameron’s driveway. After counting down the minutes until she could be reunited with Emma, she’d decided to just wait near his home. She’d arrived about forty-five minutes ago, but thankfully, her car was hidden from view by a copse of spruce trees. She didn’t want Cameron to think she didn’t trust him with their daughter. It wasn’t about him. It was about her attachment to Emma and her having to adjust to the idea of co-parenting. For so long her daughter’s care had rested on her shoulders as the sole custodial parent.
This too shall pass. Once they got into a routine, she would be fine. She wouldn’t be lurking in her car with a pang in her soul.
Finally, at exactly four o’clock on the dot she was standing at Cameron’s front stoop pressing the doorbell.
When he opened the door, she let out an involuntary sigh. Emma was resting at his hip and he looked like an impossibly handsome, rugged father—the type who would be featured on the cover of a trendy magazine. Alaskan Dad. Laughter bubbled up inside her at the thought of it.
“How was everything?” Paige asked, resisting the urge to scoop Emma up in her arms. It was reassuring to see her daughter so secure with Cameron. Every little girl needed a daddy to adore her.
“She’s still in one piece,” Cameron teased. “And so am I.”
Paige laughed as Cameron ushered her inside his house. Emma, like most babies her age, could be a handful. Something about Cameron’s expression told her that she had indeed pushed him to the limit. “She pretty much blew me away by calling me Dada,” Cameron said in a voice bursting with pride. “Not just once, mind you. Several times.”
She turned toward him and grinned, knowing how much he had wanted this moment. “I’m so happy for you. That type of moment is priceless.”
They’d made their way to Cameron’s living room and she saw Liam standing there smiling warmly at her. He held his arms open to her and she walked straight into a bear hug. Of all three of the Prescott boys, Liam was the most demonstrative one.
“I can’t believe we’re seeing each other again after all these years and under these circumstances.” Liam looked over at Emma. “Your daughter is one beautiful little girl. Thankfully, she looks like you and not her father. She dodged a bullet,” Liam teased.
“Ha-ha. Very funny,” Cameron said.
“So far everyone else seems to think she looks just like her dad, so I’m hoping to see some of myself in her personality,” Paige said.
“I think I might have caught a little bit of that similarity today,” Cameron drawled, the corners of his mouth twitching with merriment.
Liam covered his grin with his hand and jabbed Cameron in the side. Paige didn’t know what the inside joke was but she raised an eyebrow at Cameron.
“Aidan keeps asking about his little baby cousin, so we’ll have to arrange a meeting really soon,” Liam said.
“That would be great to get the kids together,” Paige said.
“Will you be at the spring festival tomorrow?” Liam asked.
“I didn’t realize it was tomorrow, but I think Emma would like it.” She shot a glance at Cameron, who
nodded enthusiastically.
Paige reached for Liam’s hand and clasped it tightly. “I was so sorry to hear about Ruby. She was one of the most amazing human beings I’ve ever known.” Exotic, down-to-earth Ruby. She had been the perfect counterpart to Liam. Together they’d made a beautiful couple.
A look of sadness flickered across his face. “She thought the world of you. I’m very thankful she had a friend like you, Paige. And please accept my condolences about your father. I know that losing him must have shaken you to your core. The two of you were very close.”
Just then Cameron put Emma down on the carpet. Liam’s eyes trailed after her and he got down on his haunches to play with her.
Tears gathered in Paige’s eyes at the magnitude of Liam’s loss. His poor son would never know firsthand the amazing woman who had brought him into this world. Overcome with emotion, she quietly slipped out of the room and through the sliding glass door in the kitchen that led to the outside deck. Once she was outside, she trained her attention on the mountains looming in the distance and the clean, fresh air she was deeply inhaling.
A sound alerted her to Cameron’s presence behind her. She knew it was him before he uttered a word.
“Hey, what is it? What’s wrong?” he asked, swiftly reaching her side.
She swiped at the tears with the back of her hand. “It’s nothing. I’m just being a sentimental fool.”
“It’s not nothing. You’re crying,” he said as he studied her.
She nodded. What was the use in denying it? The evidence was all over her face.
“Since I’ve been back, not a single person has offered me condolences for my father’s death. Not a single one. Until now. Until Liam spoke the words no one else could manage to pass through their lips. And talking about Ruby and then hearing Liam say he was sorry about my father’s passing... It was just too much all at once.” She shivered as a cool breeze swept over her, then wrapped her arms around her middle.