by Marie Meyer
It’s so ridiculous to be thinking that far down the road, I mean, we only just met. But that’s my life now. Every man I meet, I have to consider the fact that he’s looking to settle down and have a family. The downside to dating in my mid-twenties. High school, college, guys didn’t care about settling down. Now that I’m older, family is on my mind, so I know it has to be on his too, right? I can do the settling down part, no problem. As a matter of fact, I want to settle down. I’m over the dating scene. But, the family part is a little more difficult. I’ve had some time to come to terms with the fact that it’s very unlikely that I’ll ever be able to conceive a child, but is it right to give a guy false hope and keep quiet? Yet, if I bring up the subject of children now, on our first date, I’ll have him running for the hills.
I tear my gaze away from his and locate the GPS. Time to change the subject. No more sexy talk…at least for five seconds. Bending over, I pick the device off the ground. “I meant, where does this thing say we should go?”
Cayden walks behind me and rests his chin on my shoulder, bringing his arm around me to point to the arrow on the screen. “We’re here.” He taps the screen, drawing a line to the right. “And the cache is here. About four paces east.”
I angle my head in his direction. “Is that far?”
“Nah, roughly ten feet, give or take.”
“Well, come on then. You promised me a treasure.” I reach backward and find his hand. Latching on, I pull him along, pretending I can read the GPS…and picturing what it would feel like to have his hands on other parts of my body.
* * *
I come to a stop when the arrow is resting directly on the location of the treasure. “Wait. It’s supposed to be right here. What does it look like?” I glance around half expecting to see a gleaming beam of sunlight shining down from heaven on a wooden treasure chest just waiting for Cayden and I to discover it. And I’m slightly disappointed that all I get is a heavily forested area and ground covered in soggy dead leaves.
“I could tell you what the cache looks like, but that’s kind of like cheating. Half the fun is searching the area until you find it.”
“You’re a stickler for the rules, aren’t you? Giving me the full caching experience?”
“You bet.” He winks. “Nothing but the best for you, sweetheart.” There’s a note of seriousness in his voice, like he’d stop the world from rotating if I asked him.
“What time is it?”
Cayden cocks his head, giving me a puzzled look. “About noon, why?”
“I just wanted to see how long it has taken me to track this thing down. I must have set some world record for the longest treasure hunt, right?”
He waves away my sarcasm. “Nope, I don’t know a cacher yet who’s found the one stored on the International Space Station It’s going to take a civilian a damn long time to locate that one.”
I let out a long breath and squat low to the ground. Trying not to get to dirty, I carefully pick through the rotting leaves, brushing them to the side. I flip over a huge oak leaf and my heart jumps in my throat. “Ahhhh!” I jump back faster than a kid getting a flu shot. “Whoa! Yikes! That is a whole lot of yuck! I’m not going anywhere near that!” I point, still dancing around.
“What is it? What’s wrong?” Cayden crouches beside the upturned leaf for a better look. Glancing over his shoulder, he laughs. “They’re pill bugs, Ren.”
“I don’t care what they are, I’m not touching that. I hate bugs!”
Cayden brushes the nest of vile creatures away and waves me over.
I shake my head vehemently and fold my arms across my chest. “Uh-uh, mister. Ain’t happening.”
Coming to stand beside me, he offers me his hand. “Trust me.” His words are baby soft. “I got rid of them. I promise.” Slipping his fingers against my palm, he gives a gentle tug, and my arms come undone. Reluctantly, I let him lead me over to the breeding ground.
I bend down beside him, holding my weight in the balls of my feet, ready to spring away if I see any more critters.
“Here”—he guides my fingers to the dirt—“what do you feel?”
Cringing, I give my fingers a wiggle, feeling nothing but cold mud, thank God. Images of giant millipedes and scorpions come to mind. I know they’re down here, swimming in the muck, waiting to snatch my fingers off the moment I bury them too deep. But then, my heart skips a beat when my fingers strike gold, or plastic rather.
“I think I found something.” Pulling the cylindrical container out of the mud, I stand up, shaking away the sludge. It’s a film canister. “Oh my goodness, is this it? Did I find it?” Giddiness takes over and I do a little victory dance. That GPS thingy wasn’t lying; there really was something hidden here (I had my doubts).
Cayden laughs and it’s like a warm ocean wave: strong and all consuming. I’ve always had a love affair with the ocean, the majestic pull that draws me close and won’t let go, like the moon to the tide. That’s Cayden’s laughter. It rolls over me, engulfs me; I want to drown in it.
He wraps his arms around me and plants a kiss at my temple. “Congrats, you found you’re first treasure. Hard fought, but you found it. Go on, open it.”
“There isn’t anything living inside, is there? None of those things?”
“The seal’s pretty tight on those containers, that’s why people use them. You’re safe.”
“I’m taking your word for it.” I slip my thumb under the edge of the gray lid and pop it off. Turning the canister over, I shake the contents onto my hand: a rolled up piece of register tape, a miniature plastic tiger, a golf pencil, a pink bead, and a little silver charm shaped like a bird.
Cayden lets go of me and comes to stand at my side. He picks the register tape and pencil off my hand. “What is all of this?” I ask.
He holds up the paper, pulling it straight with his index finger and thumb. “This is the log. We’re supposed to sign it.”
“How many signatures are on there?” I sidle up next to him to get a better look. This is fascinating. I know it’s a long shot, but I sort of want there to be no signatures on the paper. I want this treasure to be mine and Cayden’s, no one else’s.
“About a dozen,” he says, signing his name on the slip. My heart sinks a little as he passes me the paper and pencil.
I take it from him and do the same, writing my name and the date below his. “What’s the point of this other stuff?”
“That’s the fun part. If you have something to put into the cache, you can take one of those items.”
I look down at my hand. I know exactly what item I want. This might not be our personal treasure chest, but how fitting that the first cache I find, it contains a bird. I love birds. Their ability to soar above everything, to get away, to be free and safe in the sky…there was a time in my life I wished I were a bird…weightless and unfettered…fearless.
I run my thumb over the shiny charm and look up at Cayden. “I guess I should have worn shorts with pockets.” Patting the side of my hip, I quirk the corner of my lip up in a glum half smile and shrug. “I don’t have anything to put inside.”
Cayden holds up his index finger. “I’m glad you didn’t wear shorts with pockets. I like those shorts, remember.” His eyes flash and he spins on his heel. “Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered.” Kneeling down at his backpack, he rummages through it, pulling something out as he stands. “If you want to take something from the cache, you can replace it with something from this bag.” He holds a gallon size Ziploc bag out to me, filled with miscellaneous trinkets.
I fold my hand around the small items from the film canister and drop them back inside. Reaching for Cayden’s bag, I take a quick inventory: dozens upon dozens of beads, coins, plastic animals, rocks, gemstones, fake bugs, the list goes on and on.
“What should I put in there?” I don’t want to take something from his bag that might be sentimental.
“Anything you want.”
Unzipping the bag, I piece through i
t. “Are you sure?”
“Ren, it’s not like there’s a diamond in there, or anything. I carry it along so I have something to trade when I find a cache.”
I look up at him and the sun catches his eyes making his bright green irises even more verdant. Fine lines crease his forehead and his gaze is thoughtful. “Is something wrong?” I ask.
He shakes his head and the lines soften. “Not one thing.” Again, he points to the bag. “So, what’ll it be?”
I wonder what he’s thinking, but shove the thought away. Whatever it was, he’s moved on. Turning my attention back to the bag, I spy a shiny, two-tone coin at the bottom. Digging my fingers through the trinkets, I latch onto the coin and draw it out. “How about this?” I hold it up between us.
“Does it fit inside the canister?”
I set it to the opening, turn it a few times, and press. “Yep.”
“Good. Now, which item are you keeping?”
I stick my finger into the container, move the coin to the side, and shake the smaller contents back onto my hand. Picking up the silver bird, I say, “This one.”
“Good choice.” Cayden nods. “Now, we have to hide the cache exactly where we found it.”
“Right.” I snap the lid back on and hand it over to Cayden. “I’ll let you do the honors.”
Laughing, he takes the film container from my hands. “You’re damn cute, you know that?” Walking back to the tree, be leans over, digs out a small hole with his finger, and plants the canister back into the mud, shoving black, wet leaves on top. “Like we were never here.”
With the bird safe in my closed fist, I stand, and brush my other hand off on my shorts. I’m dirty and I still feel like bugs are crawling all over me. Cayden joins me slipping his dirty hand beneath mine—the one holding the charm—and slowly peels my fingers back, revealing my treasure.
“The bird, huh?” he murmurs.
Neither of us is looking at the charm, our eyes fixed on each other. I nod infinitesimally. Cayden traces his thumb over my palm, lightly fingering the charm. His touch sends shivers down my spine and my legs almost forget they’re meant to hold me up.
His hands don’t stop, though. His fingertips skim along my forearm…my elbows…down my hips as he pulls my body flush with his. Desire blazes in his eyes like green flames.
Without a word, he dips his head and kisses me, no hesitation. His mouth is firm, yet tender, and I answer with the same yearning, leaning into him. I stand on my tiptoes, and wrap my arms around his broad shoulders.
Cayden’s hands glide over my ass, and I moan against his lips. This time, I take things further, trusting him more and more. I pull his bottom lip into my mouth and bite, just hard enough to elicit a groan and feel his tongue plunge into my mouth. I like this side of me, a woman who knows what she wants…a woman in control.
Each time our bodies rock together, I can feel his desire, hard and wanting, brushing against my legs. An ache blooms at my core, demanding attention…his attention.
Cayden’s fingers knead my backside, pushing me as close as we can possibly be in the middle of a state park. He drags his lips across the corner of my mouth, over my jaw. I lift my head to the side, giving him better access. I can’t catch my breath. My body screams to be touched by him, but I recognize the onset of panic just at the edge, a warning for me to slow things down. Too fast, Ren. Too fast.
“Cayden,” I moan. God, he feels so good. “Cayden, we need—”
My words are silenced with his mouth and my head spins. His tongue is insistent for a second more—a hot dance of give-and-take until we’re both out of breathe, and he slows, opening his eyes. His lips steal a final kiss, and he breaks away.
How can he already read me? Sense when my anxiety kicks in? Know how far to push me, and when to back off?
Pressing his forehead to mine, he whispers against my lips, “Ren…”
“Hmm?” My shoulders heave. My body screams to finish what we started, but my brain is saying a quiet thank you for obeying the speed limit and throwing on the brakes.
After so many sessions with my therapist, I’ve learned to accept that intimacy will always be difficult. And it is, especially when trust hasn’t been established. It’s why dating is so hard for me, but Cayden is different, and I don’t know why. Building trust with him seems as easy as breathing.
“There I go, getting carried away again,” he says, laughing under his breath. “I don’t know a thing about Harry Potter, but I do know you’ve put a spell on me. You are definitely not a muggle.”
The dark thoughts of my past disappear and a laugh buried deep in my core bubbles to the surface. “Cayden”—I choke on a giggle—“that is the worst pickup line I have ever heard.” I drop my head onto his shoulder, still laughing.
His hands, big and strong, rub up and down over my back. “I could listen to you laugh like this all day long.”
Lifting my head, I stare into his lovely green eyes. “That’s nice to hear. But, your lack of Harry Potter knowledge is frightening, could be the deal breaker,” I tease, knowing all to well I could be the deal breaker for him, in the end. But I keep quiet; it’s way too soon to start talking long term. For now, I’ll play it safe and see where this leads. “I know exactly what we’re doing for our second date.”
Cayden presses his lips together, trying hard to conceal the cocky smirk pulling up the corners. “A second date, huh? My pickup lines can’t be too bad then.”
“Well, considering this all started because you pulled me over. I have to say, Officer, you’re pickups are very unconventional.” I give him a wink and lean in for another kiss, softening at his touch.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Cayden
“So, what’s this I hear about Big Daddy hooking up?” Vin teases. “’Bout fucking time you got laid.”
I roll my eyes and knock back my bourbon. “How the hell did you hear about that?”
“Can’t keep his trap shut.” Vin tips his head in Taz’s direction.
I give Taz a sour look. He shrugs, a smug grin on his face. I can’t tell that asshat anything in confidence. “And it’s not like that, Vin. We are not ‘hooking up,’ we’ve been on one date.” And, Ren isn’t that kind of woman.
“I’m happy for you, man.” Taz clamps his hand on my shoulder. “At least this time, you aren’t leaving. You can actually put the time in, commit. See where it goes.”
“Yeah, but I’m not sure if the time is right. Mom’s sick, SWAT is this close”—I hold my thumb and index finger an inch apart.
“B.D., you deserve to be happy, man. Cut yourself some slack,” Vin says. “I mean, come on, look at me and Emily. We’ve been married two years, I’ve been deployed seven months of those two years, and now she’s pregnant, and I’m going back. I’m not going to get to see my kid be born. Don’t bitch to me about timing. The time’s never right, but if you want a life, a family, you can’t keep waiting for the stars to align. Sometimes, you have to shove them into the fucking picture you want.”
“That’s poetic, man,” Taz says, clinking his bottle’s neck on Vin’s.
Shit. Why am I such an insensitive bastard? I didn’t even think about what Vin’s going through right now. He’s got to be scared out of his mind. “Vin, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”
He puts his hand up, cutting me off. Lowering the beer bottle from his lips, he swallows. “Don’t worry about it, man. I would hate for you to throw away something good, just because it wasn’t convenient. In my experience, the best things in life come around when it’s least convenient. That’s how you know they’re worth fighting for.”
“What’s her name?” Taz asks.
“Ren. She’s coming over to my place for dinner tonight. A second date.” Thinking back to our first date, three days ago, I can’t help but smile.
“See, I know that look.” He snaps his fingers and points at me. “You’re a sappy mess and you’ve only had one date. I’ve been there, man. I’ve been there.” Vin’s trail
s off, lost in his own memories. “Now, we just need to find Taz and Bull women, and we’ll all be happy.”
“A poet and a romantic. Vin, I’m seeing a whole new side of you,” Taz says. “And I do not need a woman, thank you. I like my bachelor pad just the way it is. Speaking of which, B.D., would you mind checking in on my place while I’m gone? Feel free to stay over, use the grounds, whatever. I just want to make sure it’s in good hands.”
“Yeah, Taz, no problem.” I wave my hand.
Reaching into his pocket, Taz pulls out his key ring. Twisting the key off, he says, “This is for the back door. I’ll text you the code for the garage. If repairs or maintenance are needed while I’m gone, just keep a log and I’ll reimburse you when I get back.”
I’ve been in Taz’s position. Mom and Dad were in charge of my place during my last tour. I’m glad I can pay it forward and help Taz out. “Consider it done, man. And Vin, I’ll keep an eye out for Emily. If she needs anything, you have her call me. We’re family. I may not be following you into battle this time, but I’ve got your six.”
“Will do, Big Daddy.”
“It sucks that Bull couldn’t come out. You guys know if he needs anything?”
Vin and Taz shake their heads. “You know Bull. The closer it gets to go-time, he disappears from civilian life. One week out, he’s gearing up for the mission.”
A dose of reality sets in. The guys are leaving. And I’m not. We sit quietly for a moment, nursing our drinks, bombs going off in our heads and visions of all the shit we endured the last time we were out of country.
“Be safe over there, brothers.” I raise my glass. “Ooh rah!”
Vin and Taz raise their bottles and join in, “Ooh rah!”
* * *
The doorbell rings and my pulse speeds up like I’ve just run a 5K. What if Saturday was a fluke and we really aren’t compatible? Not seeing Ren for three days was just enough time for doubt to worm its way into my head.