by Marie Meyer
Dylen stands and comes around the table, sliding into the window seat next to me, arms wide open. “Ren,” she says soothingly. “I can’t imagine him saying your situation is a deal breaker. He seemed like a great guy, genuine and caring. Blake speaks so highly of him.”
“He is all of those things. He didn’t say things were over, but he’s ignored my calls since Monday. He refuses to talk to me. He’s wised up and dumped my broken ass.”
“Knock it off, Ren.” Dylen’s gentleness gives way to the stern motherly voice. She never let’s me go down pity lane. “You are not broken. There are other ways to have a family. What did he say the last time you talked?”
“I know that. But what if that’s not what he wants. He said he needed time to think.”
“Well, there you go. Give the man some time”—her gaze shifts to the door—“Don’t be so quick to jump to the worst-case scenario.” Giving me a sidelong glance, her eyes go wide, and she shakes her head toward the entrance.
What is she looking at?
Craning my head, I look over my shoulder. The door closes behind Cayden.
What is he doing here and how the hell did he find me?
“Umm, I just remembered I promised Blake I’d help wash the siding on the house. I should go.” She grabs my shoulders and kisses my cheek. “Salut!” Standing, she picks up her coffee, chugs it, grabs her purse, pivots on her heel, and gives Cayden a congenial nod.
“Nice to see you again, Dylen,” Cayden says, as she breezes by.
“Cayden.”
Dylen slips through the door, and it’s just him and me. Even six feet apart his jade eyes send an arrow straight through my raw heart. In three steps, he looms over me.
“May I join you?” he asks, gesturing to Dylen’s vacant seat.
That voice…ahhh… I sigh, bathing in its rich deepness, so bold and commanding. My bones turn to jelly.
Lock it up, Ren. Don’t let him in.
Now my conscience decides to bat for Team Ren. ’Bout frigging time.
I nod to Dylen’s seat, keeping my demeanor calm and cool.
Cayden pulls out the chair and sits, folding his hands on the table. His eyes roam over my face and I stare back. This could not be more awkward. Say something, dammit.
My heart thumps. I inhale, and the faint scent of his woodsy cologne whisks me back to the night of Dylen’s wedding, his strong arms holding me as we danced.
Muffled voices from the kitchen in the back make their way to the front of the coffee shop. Cayden shifts, sliding his right hand across the table until his fingers touch mine.
Ever have one of those dreams where you’re falling and falling and can’t stop? Your stomach is in your throat and your lungs can’t contract to draw in oxygen? The ground rushes up as fast as you careen downward, out of control? If you hit, you’re dead.
The second Cayden’s fingertips touch mine, I hit the ground. But it’s not the deathly collision I expect. I land feetfirst, in control, safe and sound. Anchored to my place on earth. Him.
The pads of his fingers glide over my knuckles and onto the back of my hand, where he grips hard, holding on.
Air catches in my throat and my thoughts spew out in a rush. “I thought we were over.”
There’s a brief flash in his eyes before his expression turn somber…contrite? “Ren”—he chokes—“please know how sorry I am.”
I need to stop this whole “let me down easy” speech. There’s nothing easy about the love of my life prepping to rip out my heart. “Cayden, please—”
“No, Ren, let me finish,” he interrupts. “I need you to hear this.”
Under the table, I ball my hand into a fist, my short fingernails biting into the heel of my palm.
“I hurt you,” he says, green eyes searching, trying to get a read on me.
Lock. It. Down.
“And it kills me, Ren. I’m an idiot.”
Oh?
My willpower is slipping, caving under his penitential gaze. “Cayden, it kills me that I can’t give you what you want…that there’s a woman out there that can.”
His eyebrows draw together and three vertical lines crease the space between them. “That’s what I’m trying to tell you. You’ve already given me what I want…you. No other woman is you.” His hand clamps down harder. So hard, my bones grind together. “At least I hope I still have you.”
Doubt feasts on hope. “I don’t know. What happens years down the road, when you resent me? When you’re tired of our quiet, lonely house. I can’t handle the thought of you glaring at me over the dinner table each night.”
The lines on his forehead smooth, softening his features. “I have thought about nothing but you for the last three days.” Yanking on my hand, pulling my arm across the table, he says, “Come here, will you? You’re too far away.”
Obliging, I stand and come around the table, as he guides me to his lap. “That’s better,” he sighs. “Let me tell you what I know: family molds and shapes you, family has your back, family shares joy and eases sorrow, family is putting those you love ahead of yourself. Ren, I’ve lived the last three days of my life without you and I hated every fucking minute of it. I’m not me without you. I’ve found my family in you.” Putting a hand at the back of my head, he presses our foreheads together. “I’ve found my way home. I love you, Ren. I love you and I want all the simple pleasures life has to offer, with you.”
My head spins out of control with his words. I want to trust him. “I love you, too. So much Cayden.” I test the waters, lightly touching my lips to his, cautious.
He returns my shy kiss and holds me tighter than ever before.
I measure time in heartbeats. Nine. Ten. Eleven. His. Mine. Fifteen. Sixteen. Pretty soon I lose count, unable to distinguish my pulse from his. It doesn’t matter though, I gave my heart to him a long time ago, so the beats I’m counting are all his.
Pulling back, I ask, “How did you find me?”
He reaches a hand into his pocket and takes out his cell phone. “You checked in here, on Facebook. You’re my compass, Ren.”
I can’t help the huge grin that pulls at the corners of my mouth. Rising to my feet, I pull him up, too, and slip my fingers between his, swinging our hands together. “Let’s go home.”
EPILOGUE
Cayden
One year later….
Walking out of Cap’s office, I pull my phone out of the holder, eager to text Ren the good news. My fingers fly over the screen: Reporting for SWAT training Monday morning. Picking you up in ten, we’re celebrating!
Heading out the door, I make my way to my truck, unlocking it as I get a response from Ren, OMG!!!! Cayden, congrats! Got my caching gear on, ready to celebrate on the trails!
Smiling, I climb inside the truck and start it up. I’m ready to hit the trails, too. The last year has been one fucking thing after another—Mom dying, getting passed over for SWAT the first time, almost losing Ren—I’m ready to put it behind me and start the next adventure, with Ren as my wife. I dial Blake’s number and wait for him to answer.
“Hey, bro, what’s up?” he says, his voice pouring through my radio speakers.
Tapping the steering wheel, I pull out of the parking lot, on my way to Ren’s place. “We still on for this afternoon?”
“Just waiting for the signal. Is it go time?”
“I’m picking Ren up in ten. It takes about forty-five minutes to get to the park. You should leave now, it’ll give you some extra time to hide the ring before we get there. Do you have the coordinates? The ring?”
“I’ve got ’em, man.”
“Hey, Cayden”—a female voice cuts in—“Ren is going to flip!”
“Thanks, Dylen. If I have the best friend’s seal of approval, I must be doing something right.”
“Blake and I leaving now. This is going to be epic!”
“Great. I’ll text Blake when we’re close and you guys can set it up.”
“We’ll be waiting for the signal,�
�� Blake says, coming back onto the phone.
As I weave through downtown traffic, listening to Dylen and Blake’s excitement, I’m blown away at how amazing my family is. I wish I could come home today and show Mom and Dad Ren’s left hand (assuming she says yes), but knowing that I get to share this day with Blake and Dylen it’s all right that I can’t.
“Thanks you guys,” I say, humbled…proud to call them family.
“You bet, man.”
“We wouldn’t miss this for the world!” Dylen screeches.
I find a parking space just down the street from Ren’s. “I’m pulling up to Ren’s apartment, I’ll see you soon.”
“’Bye, Cayd, see you,” Blake says, and a song from the radio comes back on, the call ended.
Stepping out of the truck, I walk down the street toward Ren’s apartment building. As always, the street is noisy and busy, offering lungfuls of car exhaust in place of fresh air. Over the course of our year together, Ren has often commented on how much she loves her downtown loft—and it really is a great apartment—but, I would love to take her to the country, find a big piece of land, and build Ren the house of her dreams. One day, our home will be filled with the sounds of our kids slamming the screen door, hollering in the yard, dogs barking, and birds singing.
If Ren and I can’t have a baby, there’s always adoption. Plenty of kids need a loving home to call their own, and they need Ren as a mom.
God, I love that woman. Beyond everything else in this life, Ren is my family. If it remains the two of us forever, I will die a blessed and happy man.
Pulling open the door to her building, I find her name, Daniels, next to the buzzer and push it. I can’t wait for her last name to be Sinclair; that is, if she wants to change her name. I hope she does, but as long as she wears my ring and I get to come home to her every day, it won’t matter what last name she chooses. I’ll be ecstatic that I get to begin and end each day with her.
“Cayden?” Her voice crackles, full of static.
I push the button and speak, “It’s me, babe. You ready?”
“Sure am. On my way down.”
My heart sinks just a little. I always love going to the door to get her, but I know she’s flying down the hall right now. All her energy and excitement cannot be contained.
Three minutes later, Ren is bursting out the doors of her building and sailing into my arms. “CAYDEN!” she screams, arms wide, crashing into me. My arms are around her before my name is out of her mouth.
I breathe her in…coconuts and fruity tropical winds with a hint of baby powder.
“I am so happy for you!” Planting her lips on mine, she full on kisses me.
I return her enthusiasm, our tongues dancing together. I lose track of time, but it doesn’t matter, we’re together.
After a moment, she pulls back, kiss-drunk and blissed out. “I know how much that job means to you,” she says with a smile. “I knew you’d get it.”
“I wasn’t so sure.”
“Are you kidding? You’ve worked your ass off this year. You deserve it.”
She’s right. I did work hard, but not as hard as I did to win her back. “None of this would be worth anything if I didn’t have you to share it with.”
She doesn’t say anything, but leans in and kisses me again. Actions speak louder than words. Now for my next act: to make her mine forever.
“You ready?” I ask against her mouth. “We have some treasures to find.”
One final peck and she leans back, looking into my eyes. “Let’s do it.”
I grab her hand and twirl her out of my arms, leading her to my truck, my heart kicking into high gear. I hope she has a similar answer to the question I’m going to ask her later.
* * *
The ride through the Missouri countryside was peaceful, but now, the fun starts. I hop out of the truck, and like always, I jog my way around to Ren’s door, opening it for her.
Extending my hand, I help her down. “Ready?”
Bouncing on the balls of her feet, she rubs her hands together. “Oh yeah. Pass me a GPS, baby. I’m feeling lucky today.”
Shit. Panic settles in my gut. Does she know what I have planned? Did she find out? She can’t know. Dylen better not have said anything. Today has to be perfect. “Hoping to find something in particular?” I ask, fishing for clues to see if she knows.
“In the last year, I’ve found some really cool things. My bird charm”—her hand goes to her chest, touching the charm she’s worn for over a year—“the Luna Lovegood Lego, even that ridiculous bug thingy you insisted I take.”
And your luck is about to get even better! I bite my tongue, trying to keep any and all signs of my plan buried inside. “Hey”—I point at her—“that bug thingy was a trackable. Those things are rare.”
Rummaging through my backpack, I dig out the nav device, and hand it over. “Lead the way, sweetheart.”
Taking it from my hand, she expertly plugs in the waypoint’s coordinates.
“Where are we going?”
She steps close, putting her hand on my chest, right over the coordinates tattooed on the skin covering my heart. “Let’s visit our first cache.”
The place where she found my heart.
As much as I would love to go back to that spot, I grab her shoulders and turn her forty-five degrees, due north. “Mind if we try to find a new one?”
Glancing over her shoulder, she lowers her brows and squints. “There’s a lot of brush that way.”
“Not up for the challenge, Daniels?” I play to Ren’s competitive side, knowing it will not deter her from proving me wrong.
When I registered the cache, I listed the terrain with high difficulty to discourage novice cachers from trying to locate it. I know Ren goes for the caches that aren’t buried deep in the woods, but I didn’t have a choice with this one. I’ve got some junk trinkets hidden inside, just in case someone does decide to locate She Said Yes. (Okay, I’m being presumptuous, but I needed to name the cache when I registered it. It fits, hopefully). Blake and Dylen are going to deposit the real treasure as soon as they get the text from me.
“A challenge, huh? You get a fancy promotion at work and now you’re going American Ninja Warrior on me?” she teases, turning around. “Bring it, Sinclair. But if we come across Aragog in there, you’re carrying me out.”
“I assure you, there are no giant spiders. But, I will carry you whenever you need me to.” I bend down, kiss her quickly, and grab her hand. “Come on, let’s go.”
We start off on the trail, the coordinates for Ren’s cache plugged in. As she navigates, I hang back and pull my phone out of the pack. Typing a fast message to Blake, I hit send.
“Cayden, where are you?” Ren shouts from up ahead.
Stuffing the phone back inside my backpack, I sling it over my shoulder and jog to catch up. “Right behind you, babe.” Sneaking up, I throw my arms around her waist and nuzzle her neck, nipping at her earlobe, knowing it drives her crazy.
“Cayden!” she squeals.
“I’m done. I’ve found my treasure.” I blow across her ear.
Ren wiggles her backside against my crotch and my dick points the direction it wants to go.
“But we haven’t found the cache yet,” Ren mutters.
“There’s no one around. Care to take a break? A quickie in the woods? I can press you up against that tree right over there.” I lay the seductive, bedroom voice on thick, working my hands down her hips…toward the front.
She lets out of heavy sigh and glances around, uncertain. “We shouldn’t. I still have nightmares about Shelob in our tent.”
If Ren’s ring weren’t hidden away in some cache for anyone to find at the moment, I’d convince her otherwise. The thought of taking Ren here in the forest is intriguing. “You’re right. Now’s probably not the right time, but next time,” I say, waggling my eyebrows. “I’d like to cross ‘Make love to Ren in the woods’ off my bucket list.”
“That isn�
�t on your bucket list.” She slaps my arm lightly.
“Oh, it is now, sweetheart.” I thrust my hips, pressing my hard-on between her legs.
She sucks in a breath. “I guess it is.”
I put my lips to hers and speak truth into her mouth. “I want you everywhere, Ren.”
My phone beeps loudly at my back.
Shit. That’s got to be Blake. My heart drops into my stomach. I hope no one stumbled upon the cache.
I step backward and pull my backpack off my shoulders. “Sorry, babe. I’ve got to check this.”
“Is everything okay?”
As long as that ring is still there and you say yes, everything is perfect. Crouching low, I pull my phone out, hovering over the screen so Ren can’t see. Where are you? Hurry up. Blake’s text illuminates the screen.
Ren and I have to pick up the pace. No more getting sidetracked. I will lose my shit if someone finds that diamond.
“Who was it?” she asks as I delete the message and stuff the phone back inside my bag.
I look up at her and smile. “Just someone from work congratulating me.” Standing, I grab her hand and tilt my head toward the trail. “Let’s keep going.”
The sun shines down in beams through the boughs of the trees, striking Ren as she scales the rocky hill. “Remind me again why we didn’t just go back to the treasure we found on our first date?” Swiping a hand across her sweaty forehead, she plants her right foot at the top of the rock as I give her backside a push.
“Any excuse to put my hands on your ass is good enough reason for me.” I squeeze her cheeks and she hauls herself up.
Hands on her waist, she juts her hip out. “Always with your mind in the gutter, Sinclair.”
“My mind is not in the gutter,” I grunt, pulling myself up the steeply graded hill. My arm muscles burn against the strain, and with a final roar, I push myself upward as Ren puts her hands on my triceps, giving me some added help.
Sweat rolls down the side of my face, dripping onto the ground. “My mind is always on you, and you are most certainly not a gutter.” I kiss her nose. “Check the nav. Which way from here?”