by Marie Harte
“I know exactly what she called me.” Ann pointed at Maya. “You really called me weak. Malleable. Unable to know my own mind.”
“All that from nice?” Riley and Maya exchanged a look.
“It’s not easy for me to be mean, okay? It would help if Jack weren’t so darned sweet. The good thing is he didn’t apologize, and that really still pisses me off. If I remember how horrible he was to me back then, I can do this.”
Riley rubbed her shoulder. “Honey, are you sure you want to? Maybe Jack being back is a good thing, and not because you can get closure by one-upping him, but by letting the past go. You’re different people now. Why not see where tomorrow takes you by being honest?”
Maya blinked. “Are you high?”
“What?”
“The guy dicked her over, and you’re telling her to give him the keys to the kingdom all over again? He needs to own up to what he did. To apologize and suck up and fucking grovel for treating her like she didn’t matter. Then, and only then, can Ann decide to forgive him. But falling for him and dating like they have no bad blood between them is just wrong.”
“You’re so black and white all the time,” Riley griped. “Life isn’t like that. Life is full of gray.”
“That was deep.” Watching Riley and Maya pick at each other, Ann relaxed, glad to no longer be the center of attention.
“Oh? Well, if you’re going to label me, at least call me white, because I’m on the side of the angels here. But it’s funny, I don’t see you playing kissy face with Anson Black.”
Ann laughed.
Riley huffed. “Kissy face? What are you, one of Ann’s second graders?”
Maya suggested she shove her head somewhere that was more or less anatomically impossible.
“Jesus. Anson and I have always been at each other’s throats. From day one, that boy has been on my last nerve. What’s your excuse? Dex was a nice guy. So he made you go out with him on one lousy date. So what? You told us you had fun, so—”
“So? So the little jerk blackmailed me! Me! Maya Werner.”
“Is it just me or did Maya somehow manage to stick ‘The Great’ before her name that we didn’t hear?” Ann teased.
“Hey. I’m trying to stick up for you.”
“Oh? Because it sounds like you’re scared of Dex.”
Maya frowned. “Okay, that is totally two plus two equaling five. We were talking about you and your tendency to see the best in everyone, even when they don’t deserve it. Can you honestly tell me what Jack did to you back then doesn’t bother you anymore?”
Unable to lie, Ann shook her head.
“Exactly. So until you grow a pair and demand an apology or take my advice and make the jerk feel a little of what you felt way back when, you need to zip your lip. Or at least take my side against Ms. Shades-of-Gray over here.” Maya nodded to Riley.
Riley scowled. “You can be such a bitch.”
“Yeah, and I haven’t had anything to drink yet.” Maya wiggled her brows, which sent Ann into gales of laughter.
“You have to admit she has a point, Riley. Our Ms. Absolutes here knows I’m too easy to forgive, and you’re too fair to go for the jugular. She’s keeping us on the path.”
“But is it the right path, I’m asking,” Riley grumbled. “Oh shut up, Maya. I’m done arguing. Now, I’m going to pour you a glass of tea. A nonalcoholic beverage. Then we’re going to watch that ghost hunting show and we’re going to enjoy ourselves. I think tonight they’re spotlighting haunts of the Northwest.”
Ann settled in with her friends and wondered what Jack was up to. And if he couldn’t stop thinking about their next date either. Oh man. I need more Maya time. If I keep thinking like this, I’ll blow my chances for closure for sure and end up falling in love with the rat all over again.
She moved closer to Maya, hoping to absorb Maya’s need for battle, and tried to will herself to focus on the ghosts on TV—not the ones from her past.
Jack sat at a quiet table in the corner of a sports bar downtown, nursing a scotch as he decompressed from his week with a seven-year-old. He loved little Josh like crazy, but the kid had the energy of ten kids hopped up on pixie sticks. Since the boy had accepted a sleepover invitation from a friend, and Jack unfortunately had no plans with Ann, he figured he’d indulge in a drink. Just him, his scotch, and the highlights of last week’s NFL games on the screen above him.
“Well, well. Ain’t this grand?”
He turned around, recognizing the face if not the voice, and grinned. “Holy shit. Anson Black.” He stood and accepted the hug from his old friend. “When did you get back in town? I heard you were in Portland.”
“Mind if I join you?”
“Hell, yeah. Sit down.”
They sat and Anson ordered two beers.
“Thirsty?”
“Dex is on his way.”
“Wow. It’s like a class reunion. I just got back last week. I’ve already seen Mike Hanson, Deb Sanders and the Terrible Trio.” He didn’t want to go into specifics about Ann, especially since he had no idea what to do about her.
Anson grinned. “Ah, yes. The Terrible Trio.” He looked a lot like he had in high school. He’d gotten a little taller, had put on some muscle and wore his dark hair longer, but his green eyes and mischievous smile hadn’t changed.
Dex entered and spotted them, giving an identical grin. The Blacks had always seemed more like brothers than cousins. Except now Dex dwarfed them both. He had to be a good six-four, had a military short haircut and gray eyes that missed nothing. “Damn. The gang’s all here. It’s like I never left.”
“No, you left. You for sure weren’t this big in high school. Who’d you eat?”
“My drill instructor.”
Jack stood to give him a hearty hand-shake, but like Anson, Dex pulled him in for a bear hug. “Can’t. Breathe.”
Anson laughed. “Let him go, you monster.”
They all sat together with dumbass grins on their faces.
“It’s been too long.” Jack finally felt as if he’d come home again. Being with Ann had been magical, but the woman watched him with as much caution as lust. Dex and Anson treated him like a long lost brother. He’d missed that familiar connection of likeminded friends.
“So you’re back too. All three of us in town again. Like old times.” Dex winked. “Especially since I hear you and Ann are a thing again.”
“No kidding?” Anson nodded. “You work fast. Thought you said you’d only been in town a week.”
“Where did you hear that?” Jack asked Dex.
Dex shrugged. “Friend of a friend who has a kid in Ann’s class. I heard all about Josh’s uncle who’s calling Ms. Weaver pretty. So gross. Ew—at least according to my six-year-old snitch.”
Jack grinned. “She is pretty.”
“I bet. She always was a sweetheart. I never understood why you broke up.”
Neither did I.
Jack continued to waffle over the idea of getting everything out in the open with Ann. But part of him didn’t want to know that he’d been the reason for their breakup. Granted, he’d been a kid back then, but he was a man now with a healthy sense of pride. Hearing he’d been awful in the sack wasn’t high on his list of high school confessions.
Best to let the past lie and start fresh. Besides, from what his mother told him, Ann had matured into a stand-up woman. She had an impeccable reputation at school and the kids all loved her. She’d had several single men ask about her but she was picky about who she dated. God love her, his mother had friends in all the right places. Apparently Tanya Weaver, Ann’s mom, worried about her daughter ever finding a spouse. Something Tanya and Laura had in common—a longing for a bazillion grandchildren.
“Yo, Jack.”
He blinked at Anson, who frowned at him.
“You okay?”
“Fine. Been a hell of a week.” He took a long sip of scotch. “I’ve been watching my nephew while Dan and Julie are away. That kid has aged
me in ways I didn’t think possible.”
Dex snickered. “Kids. You gotta love ’em. I’m in the photography business, and let me tell you, taking kid portraits requires a lot of patience.”
“I thought you were a photojournalist.”
“He was,” Anson answered for him. “But the boy wants to settle down. My aunt is putting the thumbscrews to him about living closer to home.”
“Please.” Dex flushed. “Mom loves me, but I wouldn’t be back here if I didn’t want to be. Dude, people retire here. I mean, think about it. A good bit of the town’s economy relies on tourism. Bend is the place for the outdoors. I’ve missed skiing like you can’t believe.”
“There is that.” Jack nodded, wondering if his parents still had his old skis and boots in the attic somewhere.
“What about you, Jack?” Anson asked. “Why did you come back?’
“Same reason. That and they’re expanding the campus, so I’ve got a terrific job I start next week. I really need a place of my own though. I don’t want to hang around too long when Dan and Julie get back. My brother is such a slob.”
They discussed different areas in town, since the cousins were also looking to find property.
“We’re going to rent together first,” Dex said, “while I’m doing research to buy.”
“Not me.” Jack shook his head. “I want a place near my parents and Dan. I like the neighborhood.”
“Northwest Crossing isn’t a bad spot. Too hemmed in for me, though. The lots are too small.” Dex shrugged.
“It’s closer to family. Though in this town, anything more than ten minutes away is considered too far.”
They laughed, and the conversation shifted back to old times. “So you and Ann were hot and heavy in high school. Then it was you and Selena Thorpe.” Anson whistled. “Took a lot of balls to hook up with her. Even at eighteen that girl was a barracuda.”
Jack winced. “No kidding. We dated for a few weeks before I bailed. She scared me.”
Anson nodded. “She was living in Seattle. I did business with her second husband for a while. Poor bastard.”
The guys laughed.
“But she divorced him and moved away. Just my luck, when I settled in Portland, I ran into her living there.” Anson shuddered. “Can you believe she made a play for me? Wouldn’t take my hints, so I had to flat out tell her no way in hell. I mean, I was good friends with her ex.”
“Just so long as she stays in Portland,” Jack said. “I don’t think I could handle her back here.”
“I don’t think Bend could handle her back here.” Anson clinked his bottle against Jack’s glass. “Now let’s talk about what really matters.”
They all paused as the announcers discussed the Seahawks’ prospects.
Dex looked worried. “I don’t know, guys. Think we have a chance this season?”
“My money’s on Green Bay,” Anson said.
Jack shook his head. “No way. Denver’s gonna take it.”
“Are you nuts?” The three of them threw around stats and figures like they were math professors, and Jack thought how in all the years he’d been living, he’d never felt at home as much as he did right now. Only one thing could have made things better—and he was seeing her tomorrow. Their second date, and hopefully just the beginning of many more to come.
By the time the guys headed out, Jack had promised to meet up with them that Sunday to watch a game together at his brother’s place. Julie and Dan were due back tomorrow, but he didn’t think Dan would mind. His brother had mentioned the game several times, and Julie was the best sister-in-law a guy could have.
Ann came to mind. Again. He parked at the house and went inside. Unable to get to sleep, he laid down on the couch. He’d proposed to go on a day hike with her tomorrow, alone time spent away from a bed, so they could get better re-acquainted.
He fidgeted, trying to get comfortable while ignoring his ever-present erection at thoughts of Ann. Damn, that woman got to him. So sweet, yet that dirty side of her had thrown him. He loved how confident she’d been, how sexual and inviting.
In the old days, he’d had to instigate everything. And like the boy he’d been, he had never lasted very long. Christ. Aren’t I too old to be obsessing over my sexual skills?
For a long time after Ann, he’d done his best to become a man-whore—sleeping around campus, gaining skill and stamina. Always safe, because he’d never been anything but safe after Ann, he nevertheless went out of his way to forget her. But no matter how many women he shared his bed with, they’d never completely taken her from his memories.
After being with her again, it was as if he’d never left. All the old feelings had returned, and along with them, that same shame, vulnerability and lust he couldn’t tame. He had to pull himself together. He knew he wanted her for sex. God yes. But after much thought, he decided they should date. Casual fun. Then, if things progressed to the point he thought they might, they could have a chance at a future.
His heart pounded, and he did his best to put her out of his head. He thought about how great it had been to see the Blacks, on how exciting it was to finally have his dream job, to be back at last with his family.
But he dreamed about Ann and the beautiful babies they’d make together. And that damn dream stayed with him throughout the next day and well into their hike, making it difficult to remember they had so much unresolved between them.
Chapter Seven
Ann walked behind Jack, grateful he’d slowed his pace. The trail they’d taken near Devil’s Lake was one she’d often ventured out on as a child with her family. She hadn’t realized Jack had known about it.
“How did you find this?” she asked him.
“Dan told me. He and Julie took Josh not too long ago. We’re on one of the harder trails, though.”
“Yeah. The two mile loop is way too easy.”
“You know it?”
“I used to come out here with my folks. We’d hike and camp a lot.”
“Oh. We didn’t camp so much. My family was rabid about skiing. It’s been a while since I’ve been to the mountain, though. Too busy with school. You?”
“Not my thing. I don’t mind cross country, but—”
“You don’t like heights.” He grinned at her over his shoulder. “I remember.”
Their one and only time on a Ferris wheel had been a disaster. She’d been afraid she’d puke all over him at the county fair, and he’d fallen over himself apologizing for pushing her to ride. Not a great memory. Yet he’d held onto it.
“You remember a lot.” She didn’t like the sober expression that smothered his smile.
He turned back to face the trail. “I remember enough.”
His pace increased, and for a while she kept up with him. But when she tripped on a rock and nearly twisted her ankle, she’d had enough. “Hey, tough guy, wait up.”
She could no longer see him since he’d rounded the curve. In the hour they’d been hiking, she hadn’t seen a single soul. Though it had turned out to be a nice, sunny day with temperatures in the high forties, the clouds continued to tease them with hints of rain.
“Hey, Jack.” Still nothing. She grew annoyed, and she was glad. This was what she’d needed to keep the right perspective. Not the nice, charming, smiling guy who made her question her judgment. She needed the guy who only thought about himself and his needs. It made wanting to teach him a lesson easier to remember.
She sat on a boulder and rubbed her ankle, glad to know she’d only bruised it. She stood, put pressure on it and felt no pain. After taking a few steps, she rounded the curve in the trail. “Jack?”
He didn’t answer, probably too far up ahead to hear her. The jerk. When would he realize she’d left her far behind?
She made more than one comment about his complete lack of manners and intellect as she tried to catch up with him and shrieked when something large grabbed her from behind.
“Easy, angel. It’s just me.” He laughed and set her
down when she struggled.
“You asshole.” She poked him in the chest. “You scared me.”
He stopped smiling. “Sorry. Maybe if you’d been mumbling fewer insults my way, you’d have heard me call your name a few times. I found something.”
“Manners, I hope.”
He grinned but didn’t respond, just held out his hand.
She took it, not amused when her body lit up from the contact. Blasted chemistry…
He led her off the trail.
“Jack?”
“There’s something I want to show you. Don’t worry, Nervous Nelly. I have a compass, a map and a whistle. Not to mention my cell phone has a GPS. Come on, it’s not far.”
She debated whether to go with him, but when he took her to a cave she’d been in before, she relaxed. “The monster cave. I remember this.” The large hill before them had a rocky opening, exposing weathered rock under the mountain of dirt and grass overhead.
“I figured we could take a break in here. It’s pretty shallow but can keep us dry if it starts to pour.” The cave had enough height that Jack could stand without bumping his head. Like he’d said, it was shallow. Maybe twenty feet deep. Enough to keep the inside dark until one stepped into the cave.
As a child she’d played inside a few times and loved the feeling of isolation while still being a part of the nature around her. So she entered without reservation. She turned and looked out at the trees and shrubs around them. Deeper inside, a few large rocks would serve as seats.
“God, I haven’t been back here in forever.” She smiled and took out her camera.
“Doubt you’ll get a clear picture in the dark.” He stood in shadow.
“I will. You’ll see.” She stood back with him in the darkness and took a shot of the mouth of the cave, full of light. At the right angle, the jagged rocks near the opening’s ceiling looked like teeth. The kids would like that. She’d have them write a story about a monstrous cave next week for class.
Jack’s warmth surrounded her from behind. She took another shot, but he refused to let her move away.
“Jack?”
He hugged her. “I missed you last night. Did you miss me?”