“Fine. But you’re drying my seats with your new Under Armour hoodie,” he demanded.
Both of us knew that was a lie.
Josh’s phone started to ring, and he answered it using the button on his steering wheel. “Hello.”
“Hey there gorgeous.” Tara’s voice came through the speakers. Gag me! I couldn’t stand that girl. It was no secret either. She was pathetic and as easy as riding a bike.
“What’s up?” Josh asked.
“Just thought you might want to come over tonight?”
I rolled my eyes and shifted in my seat. This was one conversation that I didn’t want to hear.
“Can’t tonight love. I’m hanging with Lee.”
Ugh, he called her LOVE!
“Paislee?” Her voice was bitter. Like she didn’t know who he was talking about.
“Uh, yeah. I’m always with Paislee,” He repeated my name in the same tone.
“Right,” she sounded pissed. “Call me later?” She suggested.
“Maybe tomorrow. I got to go. We’ve got rain.” He hung up the phone, and smiled at me.
Down girl…
The clouds opened up, and the rain poured down. There was nothing in the world that could make me happier. I bounced eagerly in my seat waiting for Josh to park the car.
“Hurry Josh!” I was itching to open that car door.
The car jolted as it came to an abrupt stop in the gravel lot just yards from the docks. I slung the door open and jumped out as fast as I could. My feet had barely hit the gravel before I bolted. I stretched my arms out wide into the air, and tilted my head back so that the rain would hit me directly in the face. It was heavenly. You know that feeling when you have to pee so badly that you can barely hold it, and once you finally get to go it’s like sweet release? This was better. WAY BETTER!
Making my way to the waters edge, I couldn’t contain my laughter. I hadn’t felt this good in weeks. It was euphoric.
“You’re crazy, you know that?” Josh called out to me, but I didn’t care. I was in a zone, as I spun around and around. “I said you’re crazy!” He yelled again.
I stopped spinning and focused on Josh’s face, giving him a smile he couldn’t resist. He was drenched from head to toe, rain dripping down his face.
“If I’m crazy, then so are you,” I reminded him. “Takes one to know one. Let’s go,” I pointed to the lake.
When the rain chances were high or the storm clouds were rolling, no one would come to the lake, no one except me.
It wasn’t an easy task, but I somehow managed to remove the wet shirt from my body. I kicked off my shorts and stood shivering in my bra and panties. When I glanced back at Josh, he was following my lead stripping down to his boxers. Just as he was removing his last sock, I bumped my hip into the side of him making him lose his balance. I laughed and ran straight into the water.
“You’ll pay for that,” He threatened in a shivery voice.
Oh, I hoped so.
I was up to my shoulders in the warm, murky water, waiting for Josh to come closer. He was planning some kind of attack. His eyebrows rose and I squirmed under the water. “Josh no,” I warned, though I didn’t mean it.
He jumped towards me, swooping me up in his arms. “Gotcha. You can’t get away from me Lee.”
I thrashed against him, but it was no use. He was so much stronger. His arms were locked around me and there was no way I was getting free. “Bombs away!” He yelled just before he threw me over his shoulder into the water.
I came up laughing, though water was sputtering from my nose and mouth.
“That’ll teach you.” He said before lowering himself down further into the water.
The two of us swam around until the rain stopped. We were having the best time, and I wasn’t ready to get out. Josh, on the other hand, was more than ready. As soon as he starts wrinkling he wants out. Says it grosses him out or something. He’s just as weird as I am sometimes.
We sat on the south dock letting our feet dangle into the water when the conversation I’d been dreading finally came up. We’d both been avoiding it like the plague for the past forty-eight hours, but we only had two days left before the big departure.
We’d been inseparable since we were kids. In the back of my mind, I knew that we’d one day go our separate ways and I probably should’ve been more prepared for it, but I’d grown used to having him by my side. Just didn’t seem right any other way. We were supposed to be together.
It was a big mistake. Josh leaving was the ultimate mistake. It was going to change everything. It didn’t matter what he had to say. Things wouldn’t be the same, and there was nothing I could do to change it.
I leaned my head over on his bare shoulder. “You’ll come visit me on the weekends when you can, and I’ll call or text you every day,” he proposed.
I could feel the tears welling up threatening to spill over. “Right.”
“And I’ll be home for Thanksgiving and Christmas.”
“You better,” I replied.
“Listen,” he said. “I told Moose that I wanted him to look after you at school and that he should crack some skulls if anyone messed with you.”
Matt Tillman or Moose as we called him was a good buddy of Josh’s. He was captain of the wrestling team and was always pretty nice to me, though I didn’t know him that well.
“But Josh…”
He stopped me. “I know you and Moose aren’t that close, but he’s my friend. He promised he’d take care of you while I was gone.”
“And what do I have to do in return?” I frowned.
“Only a couple of hand jobs,”he joked.
“Very funny.”
“Poor Moose.”
“Poor me,” I scoffed.
“Seriously though, I don’t want you worrying about anybody at school messing with you while I’m away. It’ll be fine. Just one year is all we have to get through, and then you can pack your bags and join me at UTN.”
I sighed, swallowing the lump in my throat. “A year seems like forever.”
“I know.” He wrapped his arm around my shoulder. “But we’ll make the best of it. Now let’s drink.”
He pulled out a bottle of his Dad’s scotch, and I recognized it right away. That purple label was hard to forget. We had drunk it before. It wouldn’t be my first choice for alcohol (especially when it costs over five hundred dollars a bottle) but I was ready for the burn. I needed something to take away the pain that was lingering in the hollow pit of my stomach.
Boy did I regret those drinks. I was scotch wasted and wishing for my bed before dark. Luckily Josh barely sipped it or else we’d be hitchhiking our way home.
After a day of recuperating otherwise known as lazy Saturday, it was officially moving day. Josh was leaving me and my emotions were all over the place. I’d later document that day as feeling like day two of my period. I was agitated, overly emotional, and my yoga pants were the only things I felt like wearing. The two of us probably should’ve avoided an all night Shrek marathon, and that second tub of ice cream.
But we didn’t.
We wanted our last night together to be the best one of the summer, something unforgettable.
It was.
“That’s the last of it.” Josh sighed as he loaded the last box into his trunk.
He was driving to school by himself today. His parents had already said their measly goodbyes and didn’t offer to drive him to the dorms. They’d already visited once this summer so I guess they’d seen enough to know that he’d be fine.
I begged my parents to let me drive separately and follow Josh there, but they wouldn’t go for it. Mom said I’d see him in two weeks. She said it’d be easier to say my goodbyes here.
Nothing about saying goodbye to Josh was easy.
I stuck my lip out, giving him the saddest face ever. He couldn’t resist my pouty face, and well, I wanted his arms around me one last time before he left. Wrapping his arms around my waist he lifted me up o
ff the ground. My feet dangled below as I buried my face in the crook of his neck. I wanted to memorize that smell. “I’m going to miss you so much,” I whispered. I wanted to say that I loved him more than friends. I wanted to tell him that his heart belonged to me. It was our last moment of closeness before he left, and I choked, completely chickened out. We’d been alone together hundreds of times over the summer and I didn’t tell him how I really felt about him.
The tears fell quickly down my cheeks.
“I’ll miss you too, Lee.”
When my feet hit the ground, I couldn’t bear to look up at his face. It was too hard. He was upset too, and I didn’t want to see that beautiful face in turmoil. He leaned down, resting his cheek against mine, and I welcomed the rough stubble from the line of hair that adorned his cheek.
“Remember what I said, Lee,” his silky voice made me shiver.
“I will.”
“And don’t let anyone have my side of the bed,” he joked. He knew as well as I did that no one else had ever been in my bed besides him. I intended for it to stay that way, joke or not.
I sniffled. “I’ll see you in two weeks.”
“Yep,” he kissed my cheek softly. “Love ya.”
“I love you too.”
I love you more than friends, Josh.
Those words were just a figment of my imagination. They never actually left my brain and spewed out of my mouth. Nope. I was the biggest chicken on the planet.
He climbed into the driver’s seat of his Camaro, and I waved to him as he pulled out of the driveway and left me standing behind.
He was gone.
Just like that.
My best friend was moving away, and I had to let him go. I was going to be the pathetic friend he left behind. The one who loves him, but can’t have him. I screwed up. He was just out of my reach now, and I’d never be able to compete with college.
Two
Josh
Present Day
The bright red numbers on my alarm clock read 2:31 a.m. I’d been studying for final exams for the entire week, and my brain felt like it had been squashed like a burger in a frying pan. It was mush. The thought of having to read one more graph for economics made me want to punch myself in the face. It was my hardest course this semester and I’d been struggling to keep my grade at a passing level. Trade policy, supply and demand, and monopolies…
I just couldn’t grasp it. My late night binges with my roommate Garrett didn’t help matters. We made weekly visits to a local pub and there was always some kind of dorm party going on.
The week that I moved in, my advisor warned me about the kind of temptations that would steer me off track. For the most part though, I was hanging in there. All of my grades were decent except for Eco, and the only thing that suffered any damage was my liver. Man, could Garrett drink. I couldn’t keep up with him if I wanted to.
I just wish someone had warned me about the girls. Holy hell there were a lot of girls. I’d need a cold shower just thinking about it.
Stretching myself out in my bed, my thoughts went to Lee. I wondered if she was awake.
I dialed her number. It had been over a week since I’d actually heard her voice. The last time she called I was too busy to talk. Instead, we’d been texting back and forth. But I was missing the sound of her voice.
“Hello,” she answered. Her voice was raspy, and I knew right away that I’d woken her up.
“Sorry Lee.”
“Is everything okay?”
I could hear the worry in her words, and wished I’d waited until a better time to call her. Two in the morning wasn’t my best choice. Late night calls were for drunk dialing, and I never drunk dialed Lee. “I’m fine, everything’s fine. I just wanted to hear your voice. It’s been a shitty week.”
“Oh,” she yawned. “Still studying?”
“Yeah. I’ve been at it for the past six hours, and I don’t feel any smarter. I feel like…” I trailed off and groaned. I couldn’t even tell her how I felt because my brain stopped functioning after study hour four.
“You’re being way too hard on yourself, Babe. You need to go to bed and get some rest. I’m sure your brain will function better once you’ve gotten some sleep. Pushing yourself won’t help.”
“You called me Babe.” There was a pause, and I wondered if she even realized she’d said it.
“Dammit, Josh! Didn’t you hear any of the important stuff I said?”
“Yeah,” I snickered. “You called me, babe.”
“I’ve only been asleep for two hours. You woke me up. So don’t expect me to function right.” She growled. “And stop laughing.”
“You’re sexy when you’re angry.”
“Then I must be smokin’ hot right now. You’re such a pain in the ass.”
“Yeah, but you love me.”
She hesitated before she replied. “You know I do. Now go to bed, and next time, call me at a decent hour. Or at least let me have coffee first,” she yawned again.
“Goodnight, Lee,” I whispered and waited for her to say goodnight back before ending the call.
That was exactly what I needed. Just hearing her voice made things better like I knew that it would. She was the biggest part of my life, and the only thing that had remained constant. I spent months trying to convince her that nothing was changing, but she could feel it and so could I. Life at college was as fast paced as a street race, you know? It never slowed down.
Life back home felt like it was standing still; while life here moved so quickly that I could barely keep up.
I was more than ready for Lee to move here with me.
One more month, that’s all I had to wait.
I sat my phone on the nightstand by my bed and clicked off the desk lamp before settling in for the night. Thankfully Garrett wasn’t coming home, or I’d never get to sleep.
***
No more Eco, at least that’s what I was hoping for. My final was done. I had one last paper to turn in, and my first semester at Trinity would be over.
FUCK YEAH!
It was Friday, and I was more than ready to blow off some steam.
Staring at the sock dangling from my bedroom door was not what I needed. That was the third time this week that I’d come home to find that stupid thing. The man was like a rabbit.
I use the palm of my hand to pound the outside of the door. I hit it so hard that I thought it might break off its hinges. “Garrett! Dude! Enough already!” I yelled into the door.
“Oh, Paislee!” I heard Garrett’s voice call out. “YES! YES! YES!”
What the hell!
Before I knew what I was doing, I slammed my shoulder into the door bursting it open, and there she was.
It was Lee, my Lee.
Her eyes were big, and a bright smile was on her face.
“I told you not to do that,” she said to Garrett who stood fully clothed in the middle of our room surrounded by a bunch of balloons. “He looks maaaaad.”
“Happy Birthday,” Garrett cheered, throwing his hands up in the air.
“If you didn’t have that stupid grin on your face right now I swear I’d punch you.” My fists were balled up at my sides.
Lee hurled herself into me and hugged my neck with force. “It was just a joke,” she whispered. “Happy Birthday.”
My arms snaked around her waist, and she kissed my cheek. The feel of her body against mine softened me right up. Garrett’s arms went up in the air, and he said he was sorry half a dozen times.
And he should’ve been.
It was a helluva trick to pull on me. After everything I told him about Lee, I assumed he would’ve known just how much she meant to me.
“Can we go celebrate now?” Lee asked.
“What are you doing here anyway?” My eyes met hers as I kept her close to me. She had told me just days before that she couldn’t be with me on my birthday.
“I wanted to surprise you.”
I shook my head. “Well, you did.”
>
She looked so good. Maybe a little thinner than before, but she was just as beautiful. Birthdays were always a big thing for us. We hadn’t missed one together since she had chicken pox, and I was upset when I thought she wouldn’t be here for this one. The little shit was good at surprises, but if I thought for one second that Garrett was putting the moves on her, I’d break his neck.
“Man, I really am sorry. I told her I was going to do it, and she told me not to. I thought it’d be funny.”
“It’s fine. This girl is the most important person in the world to me,” I squeezed her tighter. “I’d kill someone for her in a minute.”
“I get it.” He held up his hands in surrender. “We only talked while she was here. I swear.”
Lee laughed. “Oh Bear, I thought you had bigger balls than those. I’m so disappointed.
“Bear?” The two of us said in unison.
“He’s cute like a little bear.” She responded.
The man was nearly six foot tall.
“Woman! Ain’t nothing about me little.”
“Ooookay,” I countered. The fact that they were such fast friends kind of pissed me off. The two of them only knew each other through me.
She just met him, literally today.
“What are we doing?” I quickly interjected before this conversation went to a place I wasn’t prepared for.
“I’m here for the night, and it’s your birthday. So… Whatever you want to do.” She smiled. “I can’t believe you thought that I wouldn’t come spend your birthday with you.”
Me either. I should’ve known better. “I was pretty upset, but it never crossed my mind that you were just messing with me. I’m glad you’re here.”
“Me too.”
“Alright you two. I don’t know what kind of plans you had for the night, but it’s a celebration. Although someone never mentioned his birthday,” Garrett fussed. “A birthday deserves a party and I know just the place.”
“Have you been drinking already?” I asked.
“A couple of shots.” He smirked. “Just warming up.”
This was going to be a long night. “So what kind of party did you have in mind?” I slipped away from Lee to change my shirt. I’d been in class all day, and I felt like a bum. Slipping it over my head, I tossed it at Lee. She rolled her eyes and stuck out her tongue at me. She was so damn cute, and I’d been missing her like crazy.
Do you love me? (Trinity Series Book 1) Page 2