Minutes before, he’d promised his son “they” would pay for hurting him and Mommy. Now, the longer that promise seared hot into his soul, the more it began the slow painful process of burning him alive from the inside out. A controlled fire is easy to manage. It doesn’t rage and can be extinguished virtually at will. Nothing about this fire was controlled and nothing, Alex believed, would be powerful enough to extinguish the inferno. In a very real sense, Alex felt in danger of himself, of the helpless rage with nowhere to go. Nothing to do but burn itself out while constantly being fed the fuel in the images of his injured wife and their tiny son fighting for his right to simply exist in a world that didn’t deserve such a sweet, innocent soul. Not to mention the list of fallen comrades that was fueling Alex’s flames quite adequately in its own right.
Danny emerged from Lisa’s room just as Alex was about to enter.
“Hey Bro,” Danny whispered. “I was just about to come see about you.”
“How’s Lisa?” Alex asked, still unsure how to mask his true mental state.
“Sleeping,” Danny assured him. “Resting comfortably.”
“You sound like one of these idiot doctors,” Alex snapped, realizing immediately he was out of line. “I’m sorry, Danny. I…”
“Think nothing of it, Man,” Danny said, patting him on the back.
“Want to get some coffee?”
“I better get in there,” Alex insisted. “I want to be here when she wakes up again.”
“It may be a while,” Danny said. Alex detected something strange in Danny’s tone, something that unnerved him. Some reason Danny did not want Alex in that room.
“What is it, Danny?”
“What is what?”
“What’s wrong with Lisa? What aren’t you telling me? The doctors said she was sleeping. Did they tell you something? They came in while I was in the nursery?” He stepped quickly to the side, pushing toward Lisa’s door.
“Alex, no. Wait!” Danny said, blocking Alex as he literally fought to push past. For his size, the much smaller Danny Peterson had always been freakishly strong. Though it took great effort, Danny prevented Alex from passing by.
“Let go, Danny!” Alex growled, straining and gritting his teeth.
“Alex, look. I gotta tell you something. Now just hold on a minute and listen. We’re in a hospital. Now listen to me before one ofusneeds a doctor.”
Danny was serious. Serious enough that Alex reined his temper long enough to learn the details of the neurologist’s visit with Danny. Believing him to be Lisa’s husband, the doctor had divulged the results of Lisa’s preliminary test results almost without question.
Alex listened as Danny spoke of MRI’s, CT scans, damage to the cervical spine, decreased blood flow to her arms and legs and possible amnesia.
“Most likely,” Danny said, bluntly, “she’ll wake up paralyzed, Alex. But it will be temporary.”
“How do you know?”
“That’s what the doctor said. Said there was some swelling. The swelling would cause the paralysis but as the swelling goes down she should regain full use of anything and everything. Sorta like you did. Remember?”
Yeah, he remembered, all right. Less than a year ago, he’d been the one laying in bed, unaware. Waking to find himself suddenly half the man he was used to being. Waiting for healing that might never have been his. But his healing hadn’t been just some normal act of science letting nature take its course. His healing quite literally had been a gift from God. A warning from which he was mercifully spared prolonged torture. Lisa, he feared, would not be so lucky.
“We won’t know anything really until she’s awake for more than a few seconds at a time and that’s not likely to happen with all the pain meds she’s on. Doc says she’s aware of things, though, just not able to deal with everything right now. Basically they’re letting her sleep it off.”
“When she wakes up,” Alex was fighting the urge to use the word if, “will she be Lisa?”
“Well I asked him to make her Jessica Simpson but then I figured you might not like it if they moved Lisa’s brains to her chest.”
“Danny...”
“Alex, look man, we just have to be patient. It’s a waiting game, just like it was for you. You pulled through and you didn’t even give birth. She’s going to be different. No she’s not going to be the same. But yeah she’s still gonna be Lisa, man. Nothing on this earth is stronger than that woman in there. She puts up with you, doesn’t she?”
Alex couldn’t help but let a laugh escape. For all his levity, Danny was right. No one was stronger than Lisa. Not in heaven or earth.
“So, how’s the little guy?” Danny asked.
“Little,” Alex whispered, feeling suddenly more dispirited than ever. A lump developed in Alex’s throat so suddenly that he almost choked on it.
“Yeah but us little guys are scrappy. It’s not the size of the dog in the fight. It’s the size of the fight in the dog.”
“You’ve been watching Dr. Phil again, haven’t you?”
“Shows, does it?” Danny laughed. “Hey, it’s just good old fashioned Texas logic, Bro. Besides, the kid’s got a little bit of his mama in him.”
“Amen to that, “Alex agreed. “You should see him. He looks just like Lisa’s dad’s baby picture. Sheesh, he looks more like you than me.”
“Dang, I’m sorry to hear that,” Danny sighed. “Looking like my ugly mug, he doesn’t stand a chance.”
“Does make me wonder exactly what went on and how dang long I was knocked out when I was in the hospital.”
“Not that stinkin’ long, Pal!” Danny scowled, appearing genuinely offended.
Alex felt the tension in his neck going away, despite Danny’s flush of insecurity. His problems couldn’t magically vanish, but Danny was a great stress relief for Alex. Just by, well, being Danny.
Cuts, bruises, arm in a sling, It didn’t matter. Danny could find humor in being laid up with a breathing tube down his throat, a feeding tube in his gut and an enema hose rammed up his rectum.
For Alex, the image of Danny with a water bottle feeding his colon was both disgusting and uproariously entertaining.
Lost amid visions of enemas dancing through his head, Alex hadn’t heard Danny’s cell phone ring. Fumbling slightly, as he found himself desperately trying to get used to having one arm incapacitated, Danny finally managed to press the button that answered whatever call he was getting.
“Yo!” Danny called into the phone.
“Yes sir! Yes. Yes, sir. I understand. No sir, I understand. I’ll be right there.”
A few moreyes sirsandI understandsand Danny clamped his phone shut.
“That was Captain Steelman. Uh, Chief Steelman. I’ve gotta go.”
“What? Go? Go where?”
“I’ll explain later. I don’t know. Mayor wants to see me. You gonna be okay?”
“Yeah, I...”
The scream was so sharp that Alex reflexively grabbed his ears. It was the shrillest cry he’d heard in years and it was coming from Lisa’s room.
Danny met Alex’s eyes for milliseconds. Both moved toward Lisa’s room—Alex first, then Danny.
CHAPTER 7
Mind Flash
By the time Danny actually left for his meeting with the mayor, it had taken a second round of sedatives and a whole lot of anguished waiting for Lisa to finally calm down enough to go back to sleep.
Resting—Alex wasn’t sure if she was truly sleeping or simply too drugged to function—Lisa was once again oblivious to the realities that had thrown her headlong into raging fits of horror. Her piercing screams had sent shockwaves through Alex, Danny and a host of nurses and assistants.
“My legs!” she had screamed, over and over. Words that still echoed in Alex’s mind. Would she be Lisa? That was the question he’d asked Danny. Ironically, Alex found himself better suited to answer his own question. No, she would not be Lisa. She would be different, but that did not have to mean she wouldn’t be
as good. Tragedy, for all its bad points, had a way of making a person better. The old saying was true. What doesn’t destroy you has a way of making you stronger.
Her legs would not work, at least not right away. Alex knew to expect it but he hadn’t anticipated having to accept it so soon—to hide his own trepidation behind a steel mask of confident encouragement.
Her breathing was still spasmodic, her chest quivered as if the powerful need to feel some form of fear was battling the sedative the nurse had given her.
“Just rest, Baby,” Alex thought to himself. “Get your strength up so you can fight this. Sowecan fight this.”
Just then, Alex’s cell phone vibrated in his breast pocket.
Pulling it out, he turned slightly, flipped it open and whispered,
“Mendez.”
“Alex how’s Lisa?”
“She’s resting, Alyson. Did you get Christina?”
Alex had asked Alyson to pick up Christina at school and keep her until he could come home. Alyson was good with Christina and, over the years, had become almost a big sister, if not a second mom.
“Yeah, she’s been fed, watered, walked, wormed, had a bath and is now coloring her baby brother a picture.” Alyson paused to chuckle at herself. “She’s so excited about the new baby. How is he, by the way?”
“He’s tiny. But he’s strong. He’s a Warner if ever there was one.” He choked back a tear, swallowing hard to force out the lump forming in his throat.
“Christina wants to talk to you.”
His stomach tightened. “Oh God,” he thought. “Please don’t ask to talk to Mommy.”
Alex let go with an unexpected sigh.
“Alex?”
“Yeah. Okay, put her on.”
It took a little bit for Christina to get situated with the big phone in her tiny hands. Alex heard a lot of fumbling. A thump followed by Christina’s voice in the distance saying, “Oops! Sorry, Daddy!” Finally, a soft, subtle rustling and a timid, “Daddy?”
“Hey Sweetheart.”
“Daddy, when are you coming home?” Her voice was worried. She knew something was wrong. God knew how much Christina understood.
“Not for a while, Honey,” Alex said, trying to sound somewhat cheerful. “You’ll be asleep I’m sure.”
“Is George coming home with you?” she asked.
“George?”
“The baby,” Christina giggled, confidently. Alex chuckled. In everything that had been happening, he’d actually forgotten Christina’s name for the baby.
“I think the doctors need to keep him here a while, Honey. He’s still new and very tiny and they want him to get stronger before they send him home for Big Sister to take care of.”
“No, Daddy,” Christina said, “it’s the mommy and daddy that take care of the babies.”
“You sure about that?” he asked, nervous as to the direction the conversation could take any second.
“Daddy!” she screamed, giggling again. “I’m a little girl! I can’t take care of George by myself!”
“You’re a big girl now, Sweetie,” Alex assured here. “I bet you could do just fine by yourself.”
“Is Mommy sick, Daddy?”
Any confidence that had clung to Christina’s voice was gone just as quickly.
“Mommy’s pretty tired, Honey. She and the baby have had a long day.” A long couple of days, Alex thought to himself. But who’s counting.
“Is she at the sleeping place?”
“Yeah, Honey. She’s at the hospital. Daddy’s here with her though, so that she won’t be alone when she wakes up.”
“Remember when you were at the sleeping place, Daddy?”
Another knot tightened in Alex’s gut.
“Yeah, Baby. Now it’s Mommy’s turn. She needs to get lots of sleep just like Daddy did, probably not as much though.”
“Then she’ll come home?” Christina asked, her voice fading deep into insecure timidity.
“Then she’ll come home, Honey,” Alex assured her.
“Daddy?”
“Yeah, Honey?”
“Remember when you came home from the sleeping place?”
“I sure do. I was so glad to see you!”
“Is Mommy gonna have a big person stroller just like you did when you came home?”
“I don’t know, Honey,” Alex said, his throat swelled. His mouth instantly felt like he’d ingested a bag full of cotton.
“I hope she does,” Christina said. “I miss riding in your lap. Maybe Mommy will let me ride in her big girl stroller when she comes home.”
The innocent ignorance of Christina simultaneously aggravated and honored Alex. He knew she meant nothing bad by her wish for Lisa to be in a wheelchair and yet Alex had to fight an urge to scold his child for wishing such a horrible thing on her mother. On the other hand, Alex couldn’t help but recognize Christina had just had a breakthrough.
For a few seconds, an uncomfortable silence met the conversation.
“Daddy?”
“Yeah, Honey?”
“I’m out of words so I’m gonna go off the phone. I love you. Byebye.”
“Let me talk to Alyson, Honey.”
“Okay.” He could hear the phone rustle again as Christina fumbled to hand the phone back to Alyson, whispering, “Daddy wants to talk to you again.”
“What’s up?”
“Alyson, I hate to ask but would you be okay staying the night and taking Christina to school tomorrow?”
“Sure Alex,” she assured him. “Me and the little Puddin’ Pop will have a slumber party, complete withJimmy Neutronand all the popcorn I can cram into her.”
Alex gave a soft, breathy chuckle. He heard Christina cheering in the background.
“I’m going to have to stay here with Lisa. Things are just very chaotic right now and I need to be here with her and the baby.”
“Yes you do,” Alyson said. “Don’t worry. I’ve got things covered on this end.”
“You’re the best, Alyson.”
“Nah,” she insisted. “Lisa’s the best. But I did learn from the best.”
Unable to fight any longer, a wall of tears began to tumble down Alex’s cheeks. Taking in a deep, stuttered breath, Alex tried to compose himself enough to complete the phone call.
“I’ll call you in the morning when I know more, okay?”
“Okay,” she said. Alex could almost feel her silent acknowledgement of his pain. He realized the pain he felt was not mutually exclusive to the Mendez heart.
“Do me a favor, Alyson?” Alex asked.
“Anything.”
“See if you can rewind Christina,” he said, not sure if he wanted to laugh or cry.
“Rewind?” Alyson asked.
“Yeah,” Alex said. “She’s run out of words. Maybe if we rewind the tape she’ll have more words.”
They both laughed.
“One thing I can assure you, Alex. Christina will never really run out of words. She’s Lisa’s daughter.”
Yes she is,Alex thought to himself. And he smiled having received the greatest compliment he’d known in a long time.
CHAPTER 8
Mendez Pride
Alex was alone in Lisa’s hospital room. She was mercifully drifting through the land of dreams. Two nurses, one on each side of the bed, took vital signs, checked IV’s, monitors, etc. Even the television buzzed with life, but Alex was as much alone in his thoughts as if the room itself were dark, empty and devoid of even the slightest activity. The dimly lit room, providing just enough light for the nurses to go about their work, seemed empty of life. Alex found himself having to tear his gaze from Lisa’s chest and the rhythmic breathing that reassured him of Lisa’s current level of tranquility.
He found himself bracing a nurse from falling before it had even registered that she’d stumbled while walking between the his chair and the bed where his most cherished partner slept.
“Sorry,” he whispered. “You okay?”
She s
miled and nodded but said nothing, dutifully returning to her routine checking of Lisa’s vital signs.
Alex was spent. Inside, numbness was overtaking him. He had to shut down; at least for a while. He had to allow himself time to go numb or he would self-destruct and soon. Lisa would need him when she finally woke.
Alex thought of Brandy, the service dog turned Mendez family member. The lively golden retriever was older now, wiser probably, but greatly out of practice following orders to serve. There wasn’t going to be much use in her uncanny ability to repeatedly retrieve a tennis ball for hours on end.
Alex’s train of thought was interrupted by a loud beeping.
“Yes?” came a disembodied voice, much too loud. Lisa jerked but did not immerge from her drug-induced slumber.
“Sorry, Cecilia,” said the nurse, not shouting but loud enough to be heard clearly. “Hit the button when I was checking Mrs. Mendez’s vitals. Everything’s fine.”
“Thank you.”
Lisa’s heart rate jumped slightly. Her face ticked nervously. The beeping heart monitor seemed to double its unnerving tempo.
What happened when Lisa got better? He wouldn’t entertain the idea of anything less than full recovery. The very concept simply wouldn’t compute.
Again, Alex’s thoughts turned to Brandy. She’d worry about Lisa. Probably already was. Brandy knew things. Alex didn’t know how she knew but she knew. She felt things on a level some humans seemed to miss. Alex had never been an obsessive animal lover. He wasn’t one to go dressing Brandy in tacky wool sweaters with dorky sayings. In fact, he’d never really felt a great bond with an animal before Brandy. He’d had pets as a child, sure, but none quite like the golden retriever with the eager, watchful eyes, endless supply of doggy affection and happily flipping tail. She often pricked her ears forward, even turned her head if Lisa or Alex spoke to her at length. Your sadness was her sadness, as evidenced in the moan-like whimpers if one of her fellow Mendez’s were shedding tears.
Looking around Lisa’s dimly-lit hospital room, beeps, hums, whooshes and whirls filling his senses. Alex couldn’t help but feel a tug on his heartstrings as he looked upon the shadow-kissed face of his slumbering wife.
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