A Love Beyond Words

by Sherryl Woods

  “You okay? We don’t have to do this now.”

  “Yes, we do,” she said tightly. “Right now. Just keep going.”

  The deeper they drove into the area, the more devastation they saw. At first only trees were down, with the occasional boarded-over windows, but then house after house began showing signs of being ravaged by what was now presumed to have been a hurricane-spawned tornado.

  “Oh, God,” Allie murmured, a hand covering her mouth, her eyes stricken. “I’d forgotten. Where you live, it’s like the storm never happened, so I told myself it couldn’t have been as bad as I’d remembered.” Her devastated gaze met his. “But it is. It’s worse, in fact. There’s nothing left.”

  “We’re turning back,” Ricky said, reaching a decision. He couldn’t bear the pain in her eyes.

  “No, please. Let’s just get it over with.”

  He hesitated, but the unyielding expression on her face never wavered. “Okay, fine,” he said and turned onto her street.

  The only way to be sure which house was Allie’s was to count the piles of rubble from the corner. When he pulled to a stop, her dismayed gasp quickly gave way to a sob.

  “Oh, baby,” he whispered, reaching for her. He pulled her into his arms and let her cry, helpless to think of anything more he could do to comfort her.

  He held her until a tap on the car window startled him. He glanced out to find Jane studying them anxiously. Her flushed complexion worried him. He beckoned to her to get into the back seat so she’d be out of the heat.

  Allie shifted, staring in surprise when the door opened and Jane climbed in. Jane took one look at Allie’s ravaged face and managed to lean over the seat to give her a comforting hug.

  “It’s worse the first time you see it,” she consoled her. “Then you just have to start thinking about how exciting it will be to have a brand-new home where the old one stood.”

  Allie’s wounded expression didn’t brighten at all at the prospect.

  “Why don’t you two stay here in the air-conditioning?” Ricky suggested. “Let me rummage around and see if I can find anything worth keeping.”

  “I’ll come, too,” Allie said at once.

  Jane exchanged a look with Ricky, then clasped Allie’s hand. “Stay here with me for just a bit. It was terribly hot out there. I need a few minutes in this cool air.”

  Allie immediately regarded her with concern. “Are you okay? Would you like something to drink? I brought along some cold, bottled water.”

  “That would be wonderful,” Jane said.

  Ricky seized the opportunity to slip out of the car. He wasn’t especially hopeful that he would locate anything of value in the debris, but it would probably be less stressful for Allie not to have to sift through things she had once loved that were now broken or caked with mud.

  It was a thankless task. He found a photo album, but water had all but destroyed the pictures inside. He put it aside on the chance that one or two photos could be saved. He discovered a jewelry box, but even before he pried open the lid, he knew that anything valuable had been taken by looters. Inside, he found an old Sunday School attendance pin and a high school ring, but whatever else Allie had owned was gone.

  As he sifted through the debris, he found the occasional shoe—but never its mate—a few unchipped dishes, a cast-iron skillet and an assortment of stainless steel knives, forks and spoons. He found one drape relatively unscathed, but the other in tatters. Sofas, chairs, her television were completely ruined.

  He had just picked up a teddy bear, its fabric caked with dried mud, one eye missing, when Allie joined him. She reached for the bear with fingers that trembled, then hugged him to her as tears streaked silently down her cheeks.

  “He’ll look better when he’s had a bath,” Ricky said optimistically. “And I’m pretty sure Maria can replace the eye. The boys were always destroying their stuffed animals, then sobbing till she patched them up again.”

  “I got this bear when I was in the hospital when I lost my hearing,” she said, her voice choked. “Brownie and I have been through a lot together.”

  “And you’ve both survived,” Ricky reminded her.

  “A little the worse for wear,” she said, tenderly smoothing the bear’s mud-caked tummy. She shook her head. “I don’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t this.”

  “You weren’t exactly in any condition to check out the scenery when we got you out the other day,” he reminded her. “You were in shock.”

  “Yes, I suppose I was.” She visibly struggled to pull herself together. “Have you found anything else?”

  “I put a few things over here,” he said, showing her.

  She held it together until she saw the photo album, but then her shoulders shook with sobs. “It’s like losing my entire past, as if it never existed.”

  “Don’t be silly,” Jane said briskly, stepping in when Ricky couldn’t find a single word of consolation to utter. “They were just pictures. The memories are in your heart. You’ll never lose those. And I imagine some of those pictures were taken by other people who very well might still have the negatives. We’ll call your parents, some of your old friends, and put the album back together again.”

  Allie gave her a watery smile. “Thank you.”

  “For what?” Jane said dismissively. “I haven’t done a thing.”

  “You came over here today. I know it wasn’t an accident. Ricky called you, didn’t he?”

  “He might have mentioned you were thinking of heading over here,” Jane conceded. “You should have told me yourself.”

  “It was an impulsive decision. Not a very good one, either.”

  “You’re wrong,” Jane told her. “It was a very brave decision. It’s always better to get the things we dread over with, so we can move on.”

  “Amen,” Ricky said. “Now I propose we all get out of this steam bath and go to lunch. A deli, perhaps?” He winked at Jane.

  “Definitely,” she said at once.

  After casting one last, lingering look over her shoulder, Allie drew in a deep breath and led the way to the car, still clutching her bear. Ricky put the other items in the trunk, then drove them to a deli about a mile away.

  Jane ordered her pastrami on rye and plucked a pickle out of the jar on the table, even before he or Allie could take a good look at the menu.

  When Allie ordered a cup of chicken soup, Jane stared at her in horror.

  “That’s not enough to keep a bird alive. Eat something that will put a little meat on your bones,” she advised Allie. “You have to keep your strength up.”

  To Ricky’s surprise, Allie deferred to her friend.

  “What would you suggest?”

  “Potato pancakes with apple sauce and sour cream,” Jane said at once, then grinned. “I’ll split it with you, and you can have half of my sandwich.”

  “Done,” Allie agreed.

  As they ate, Ricky watched with relief as the color came back into Allie’s cheeks and her eyes lost that dull lifelessness. She was actually laughing again—albeit not very wholeheartedly—by the time they left.

  At Jane’s place she gave the older woman a fierce hug.

  “I’ll be over to see you this weekend,” Jane promised. “We’ll get started on those calls. You make a list of everyone you’d like me to contact. Till then you keep a stiff upper lip.”

  “I’ll see to it,” Ricky promised.

  Jane gave him a hug, too. “I’m counting on it, young man. Our Allie needs you.”

  Ricky knew it was true, but in the back of his mind, he couldn’t help wondering if the neediness was only temporary. And what would happen to the two of them when she was back on her feet again?

  How crazy was it to dread the time when she would be ready to move away and begin her life over again? he asked himself.

  When he got home from Pedro’s excruciating concert later that night, he sat in the back yard as Allie slept and wondered how she had gotten under his skin so quickly. Today
certainly told part of the story. He didn’t think he’d ever met anyone more brave. He was in awe of her strength.

  It was that strength that would take her away from him in the end, and he would have to let her go, because if ever there was a woman who needed to stand on her own two feet, it was Allie.

  But maybe, in time, if he was very lucky, she would let him stand beside her.

  Chapter Ten

  Allie sat on a chaise lounge in the back yard and cast surreptitious glances at Ricky, who was stretched out on the lounge chair next to hers. He was feigning sleep. She was sure of it. What she couldn’t figure out was why. He’d been brooding and distant ever since they’d returned from their visit to what was left of her house the day before. She’d been relieved when he’d finally left to go to Pedro’s concert.

  Apparently, whatever was on his mind hadn’t resolved itself by the time he returned, because he’d spent most of the night outside. She knew because she’d glanced out the window several times and seen him sitting right where he was now, a beer on the table beside him.

  When she’d come downstairs first thing this morning, the bottle had been right where she’d seen it during the night and it was barely half-empty.

  “You don’t have to baby-sit me,” she said eventually.

  She saw his lips move slightly, but no word was formed. She interpreted that to be the equivalent of an acknowledging “Hmm?”

  “I said I will be perfectly fine if you want to go out.”

  He opened his eyes then and glanced toward her. “Who said anything about going out?”

  “You must be getting restless,” she said.

  “Not especially.”

  “Well, I certainly am.”

  He stood up so quickly she was sure he intended to seize the opportunity to take off.

  “You’re absolutely right,” he said, and held out his hand. “Let’s go.”

  “Go where?”

  “Come on,” he said, his eyes twinkling with a challenge. “Trust me.”

  Before she could second-guess herself, she jumped up. She told herself her eagerness was natural. She was sick of sitting around doing nothing. She’d finished every piece of paperwork Gina had brought by dinnertime the night before. Anything he had in mind would be an improvement. She ignored the little voice that taunted that this man could tempt her into doing things she would otherwise never consider. Her enthusiasm was all about being with him, not being active.

  Before she could ask a single question, he’d grabbed her purse, a bottle of suntan lotion and their sunglasses.

  “Are we going to the beach?” she asked, hurrying to keep up with him.

  “You’ll see.”

  En route to whatever their destination was, he pulled up to a small gourmet shop, ran inside and emerged with a cooler. “Lunch,” he explained when she eyed it with curiosity.

  Fifteen minutes later they pulled into a marina. Ricky led the way along a dock until he reached a small fishing boat. He stepped in and held out his hand.

  “Yours, I hope,” she said as she joined him.

  “Tom’s, but I have a key. There are fishing poles stashed onboard. Let me get this food into the refrigerator down in the galley, and we’ll take off.” His gaze narrowed. “You don’t get seasick, do you?”

  Allie grinned. “It’s a little late to be asking, isn’t it?”

  “It would be too late if we were a mile offshore. Here there are still options.”

  “As far as I know, I don’t get seasick.”

  “As far as you know,” he repeated. “Does that mean you’ve never been out on a boat?”

  “You’ve got it,” she confirmed.

  “Well, luckily, the water’s like glass today. You should be fine. Do you swim?”

  “In a pool,” she said.

  “I’ll get you a life jacket while I’m down below,” he said dryly.

  Minutes later he started the boat’s engine, cast off the lines and eased away from the dock. Allie stood at the railing and watched the marina disappear as they headed out into the bay. The breeze smelled of salt and maybe seaweed or mangroves. The kiss of the air against her bare skin counterpointed the sun’s heat. Though the Miami skyline was never out of sight, it was as if they’d retreated into their own world. When they were a mile or so offshore, Ricky cut the engine. The boat bobbed gently on the water as he came to stand beside her.

  “This is the first thing I do when I get back from a rescue operation overseas,” he said.

  She saw the ever-present worry lines in his face begin to ease. Without thinking, she reached up and touched his cheek. His skin was warm from the sun and rough with the beginning stubble of his beard. She’d never felt anything so masculine.

  She wasn’t sure of the precise moment when she became aware of the flare of heat in his eyes, but rather than withdraw her hand, she tentatively traced the outline of his mouth. A muscle in his jaw worked.

  Then before she knew what he intended, he captured her hand where it was and drew one finger into his mouth in a slow, provocative move that made her heart leap in her chest. His gaze never left hers. Allie felt as if her entire world consisted of the blazing heat in his eyes and the sensation of his tongue against her finger.

  “Do you have any idea what you do to me?” he murmured, releasing her hand with obvious reluctance.

  Because she didn’t think she could speak past the lump in her throat, she shook her head.

  “I want to kiss you,” he told her.

  “Then do,” she said, already feeling her breath hitch and her pulse begin to pound in anticipation. “Please.”

  His mouth claimed hers at once, almost as if he feared she might change her mind. Hot, throbbing need ricocheted wildly through her. She tried to get closer, but he held her a careful distance away, allowing only their lips to touch with the kind of intimacy she craved.

  “Why?” she murmured restlessly, desperately wanting something he seemed unwilling to offer.

  She felt his lips move against hers and knew he was responding. She wanted to know the answer, but she needed the kisses more. Sweet, tender kisses. Urgent, demanding kisses. The pattern was unexpected, unpredictable and relentless. She had never known that kisses could be so shattering, so utterly magnificent in their own right. She was practically quivering with need by the time he stepped back and released her.

  Blinking against the brilliance of the sunlight and the sudden abandonment, she stared at him. “Why?” she asked again.

  He shoved his hands in his pockets and faced her with grim determination. “Because I didn’t bring you out here to seduce you.”

  “Plans change,” she said, forcing a light note into her voice.

  A grin appeared and disappeared so quickly she almost missed it.

  “Not this time,” he said, his expression unyielding.

  Still fighting the aftereffects of his kisses, she struggled for a cavalier attitude. “Mind telling me why?”

  “I am not taking advantage of you, of the situation,” he declared, seemingly to remind himself as well as to enlighten her.

  She felt her temper stir. “That’s very noble, but why do you get to make the call?”

  “Because you’re not thinking clearly.”

  “Oh?” She managed the word with deadly calm, but the pounding of her blood told another story.

  “Don’t look at me like that. You’ve been through a very traumatic time.”

  “But my brain still functions fairly well,” she retorted. “I think I’m capable of making rational decisions.”

  “Rational ones, perhaps,” he agreed. “But this isn’t about rational. It’s about hormones. The two are mutually exclusive.”

  The superior tone grated. “Okay, let me get this straight,” she said, hanging on to her fury by a thread. “You—intelligent male creature that you are—can make a rational decision about seduction for both of us, but I—a mere female—cannot be counted on to do so for myself. Have I got that right?�
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  He scowled. “I don’t see why you’re getting so worked up. I’m trying to do the right thing here.”

  “What you consider to be the right thing,” she corrected. “If that isn’t the most ridiculous, most patronizing, male logic I have ever heard in my life, I don’t know what is.”

  “Now, Allie…”

  “Don’t you ‘Now, Allie’ me!” she shouted. “I just might be inclined to do something irrationally female and knock you overboard.”

  He stared at her with obvious shock. “You wouldn’t.”

  “Don’t test me,” she snapped.

  She whirled around, stepped gingerly toward the stairs leading belowdeck and retreated to the galley. She found herself a cold drink, popped the top and took a long, slow swallow, hoping to cool her parched throat and hot temper.

  The man was a macho idiot. She’d been weak-kneed and willing, and he had rejected her. She didn’t know which irritated her more—that he had been able to resist her, or that he’d actually thought she didn’t know her own mind. Either way, it would be a cold day in hell before he got a second chance.

  Women! Ricky sat on deck and wondered if he would ever understand the female of the species. He figured it was pretty doubtful, even for a man who’d grown up with four very perplexing sisters.

  Frankly, up until the last week, his inability to grasp the complexities of the female mind hadn’t mattered to him all that much, but for some idiotic reason he wanted to know what made Allie tick.

  He was pretty sure he knew what ticked her off, though. What he viewed as honorable behavior apparently riled her no end. He had a hunch he could explain from now until they were both rocking in an old folks’ home and she still wouldn’t get it. He was beginning to wonder himself if he wasn’t out of his mind. He’d had a woman who made him ache ready and willing to relieve that ache and he’d stopped her. Maybe he did need to have his head examined.