by Suzanne Hart
I looked away from him, feeling those hot tears pricking the backs of my eyelids again.
“Lisa, he loves you very much and he’s sorry,” Julian continued when I hadn’t replied.
“Are you here to fight my father’s case?” I snapped at him. He smiled again and shook his head.
“That is the last thing I thought I would do.”
I couldn’t help but smile at that too.
“I’m here because I want you to let me in, Lisa,” he said.
My throat had gone dry. I wanted Julian… more than I knew was possible, but giving in to him now felt like another mistake. I licked my lips but remained silent.
“I know what you’re thinking,” he continued.
“Oh? What am I thinking, Julian?”
“That you can’t trust me. That I lied to you, tried to destroy your family and your company. How could you ever trust me with your life and with the wellbeing of your child?”
He’d read my mind… but then, it was pretty obvious. I stared at him, hoping he was able to convince me out of it.
“I want you to let me earn that trust back. Will you let me do that, Lisa?”
“Why did you have to come here, Julian? Just when I thought I could get a fresh start on my life!”
He nodded. He seemed patient… like he could sit there for hours and talk over things if I wanted that. He also looked determined. He wasn’t willing to give up.
“I know that’s how you feel, and I cannot promise that I deserve you, Lisa, but I sure as hell want to try to make you happy.”
He was pretty convincing, especially since I had never wanted a man as much as I wanted him.
“Will you let me try, please, Lisa? For the sake of our baby?” He asked and slowly reached his hand out towards me.
“I don’t know what I want, Julian… right now, I just feel very confused,” I said. When he laid his hand on mine, I let him keep it there. His touch alone was enough to make me reel with desire.
“I can understand that, which is why I don’t want to give you the speech I’d prepared,” he revealed.
“What speech?”
“About my feelings for you. I know it’s too soon and this isn’t the time and you probably don’t want to hear it…”
“What do you feel about me?” I interrupted him, holding his gaze firmly.
Julian licked his lips and then slowly started weaving his fingers through mine.
“Isn’t it pretty obvious, Lisa? I’m in love with you.”
My voice choked up in my throat. Julian loved me? How could he? Why would he?
His fingers intertwined with mine and I couldn’t pull my hand away. I could have stayed like that with him forever.
“You’re in love with me?” I murmured.
“I cannot explain it, Lisa. That is just how I feel. I’ve been searching for something all my life. When I made a success out of my business, I thought I could finally be happy. But I wasn’t. So, I kept searching. Then I met you, and despite the circumstances of our meeting… I was drawn to you. I haven’t stopped thinking about you since that first day,” he related.
That was how I felt too. Ever since I knew him, I had the strength to do all this. Even the fact that I left New York, that I stood up to my father… it was all because Julian had made me feel special. He’d made me feel worthwhile.
“I…” I stammered, dragging my gaze away from him to look down at my lap.
“I don’t expect you to say anything,” I heard him say.
“I’m in love with you too, Julian,” I said. When I looked up at him, our eyes met and he stared at me like he knew I couldn’t get away from him now.
“Does this mean you’re going to give me a chance to prove myself to you? One chance, Lisa, that is all I need…”
I held his hand tightly in mine.
“You don’t have to prove anything to me, Julian. You’ve already proved enough. I know how you feel about me. I believe you,” I said.
We were smiling at each other.
My heart skipped a beat when he stood up from his chair and came to crouch down beside me. Our faces were at level now. I could see straight into his glittering blue eyes and I felt like I was sinking.
“I’m going to kiss you now, Lisa Crowley,” he declared and I smiled. Julian leaned towards me till our lips met. We were kissing… our mouths fuzed and I felt him reach up to support the back of my head.
I sank into him, throwing my arms around him and he pressed himself closer to me. I felt a burst of happiness inside me. This was more than just a physical desire I was feeling for him. It was love and happiness and relief. He was here. I wouldn’t have to do it alone. I should have trusted him to be there for me!
We kissed slowly and for long. By the time I pulled myself from him, I could feel my lips throbbing.
Julian remained crouched in front of me.
“If you want to raise the baby here, I’ll find a way to move here too. We can start afresh in Dublin,” he said, still holding my hands.
I smiled at him and shook my head.
“As much as I love Dublin, it’s unreasonable to raise the baby here… away from our real home. I think I should be closer to Daddy,” I replied. He leaned forward again to kiss my forehead.
“Whatever you want, Princess,” he said and I placed my head on his chest as he held me to himself. He was stroking my hair, inducing me into that calming space again. I closed my eyes and allowed myself to drift.
“Have you and Daddy made your peace?” I asked. I could hear his heart beating in his chest.
“Yes, we have. We bonded over our love for you,” he replied and I couldn’t help but smile at that.
“I don’t know if I can forgive either of you easily, but I love you both. And Daddy has some serious disaster control he needs to do,” I said, looking up at him. He pressed the tip of his nose to mine.
“I promise I’m going to work very hard for your forgiveness, Lisa. And I know your father regrets his actions too. I’m sure we’ll be able to figure something out,” he said.
Then he stood up and tugged me by my hand.
“Where are we going?” I asked him as he started leading me out of the building.
“We have lots of exploring to do,” he said.
“Don’t you need to get back to New York? What about work?” I asked.
“It can wait. For now we’ll stay in Ireland for as long as it takes for you to start missing home again,” he said and kissed my cheeks lightly. I was laughing as we walked out in the dusk.
Even a few hours ago, I couldn’t have imagined walking down the river bank, holding Julian’s hand… but here he was. He touched my belly every so often, and when he did, I could see it in his eyes that he was ready. He was ready to be a father to our baby, and the man I always needed.
Eventually, it was Dublin where I found my happiness again.
38
Julian
Lisa was six months pregnant now and showing, and I couldn’t get enough of looking at her. The truth was that there was no creature as beautiful as the woman I shared my bed with.
When she was at home with me, I’d stare at her growing belly, admire the rosy glow on her cheeks, the delicate way in which her breasts were growing. I thought she was sexy when we first met, and now with the baby inside her, she was even sexier. Lisa was my Goddess and I worshipped the ground she walked on.
Life had a funny way of working out.
I had spent so many years cursing Alan and now I was grateful for him. He was the one who led me to the woman of my dreams. I wouldn’t have changed my past even if I could.
When we returned from Dublin, the first thing I did was sell the penthouse and bought a cute little red-brick townhouse in Waverley Place. I didn’t want our child growing up in a man-cave, and Lisa had laughingly agreed. We had spent three blissful weeks in Dublin before she decided that it was time for us to return to New York.
She moved in with me in our new home, and I
convinced her to put her feet up and take it easy till the baby came. Lisa was flighty and frisky, she couldn’t just sit around all day and not get a job. After some discussion, we both agreed that the best thing to do would be to start college after the baby was six months old. I was determined to help her fulfill her dream of teaching. I didn’t want her to walk into another corporate building unless she absolutely wanted to.
Lisa deserved the best and she deserved to be happy. She was the mother of my child and the woman I loved.
Alan had made quick recovery. By the time we returned from Dublin, he was already walking on crutches. He was happy to see Lisa, and I still couldn’t get over the fact that he was pleased to see us together.
By now, other than a slight limp, it was difficult to tell that he had been in a life threatening car accident just seven months ago.
I was in my office, on a Monday morning, staring at Lisa’s picture on my phone when Penny buzzed to say that Mr. Alan Crowley was here to see me.
We weren’t exactly friends now, but we were civil. Lisa was still working on her relationship with her father, trying to work out how to forgive his past behavior.
I asked Penny to let him in and a few moments later, Alan was at my office door. I stood up from my chair and we shook hands.
“Have a seat, Alan. What can I do for you?” I said. He sat down across from me and looked around my office.
“You’ve got a fine place here, Julian,” he said with a smile on his face.
“You’re looking well,” I told him and he nodded his head.
“I owe Lisa my life, like I owe her everything else,” he replied.
I sat back in my chair, as he looked at the pictures of Lisa on my desk.
“I thought I should come by and personally thank you again for what you’ve done for me and the company,” he declared.
Just three weeks ago, I had bought a chunk of Crowley Holdings’ shares, bringing the value of the company up by several points again. I allowed Alan and Lisa to keep the majority stock and hold control of the company.
“I did it for Lisa,” I told him and Alan nodded.
“I know you did, and I also know that you saved my ass because of her too,” he continued.
Like I’d promised Lisa a long time ago, I had my accountants take care of the paper trail that led to the money laundering scheme which Alan had tried to hide. Hopefully, now if he ever got audited, he wouldn’t be caught. Both Lisa and I had decided that it was a minor offense and Alan should be forgiven for it.
“We don’t have to discuss that,” I told him now.
“I want you to know that I’ve decided to retire. I don’t deserve to run the company, not after the things I’ve done,” Alan said.
“You have the chance to start with a clean slate again,” I told him.
“No, I’m letting go. I’m going to donate the money I made through the sale of the shares, to a charity of Lisa’s choosing. After that, I’m going to move back home… to the town I grew up in. It’s where I feel close to Mabel,” Alan explained.
I nodded. I understood. It was the only way that Alan could redeem himself.
“Well, then I wish you the best of luck,” I said.
We both stood up to shake hands again, and we were smiling.
“You’ll make a good father, Julian,” he added.
“I’m going to do everything I can to make Lisa and our baby happy,” I said.
“I know you will,” he remarked and then turned and walked to the door.
“Hey, Alan!” I stopped him in his tracks. “We want you to be a part of your grandchild’s life.”
He gulped and I could see that he was emotional. He nodded and opened the door.
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” he said before leaving.
Once he was gone, I sat down in my chair again. There was a text from Micky on my phone. He wanted to know if he could bring a date to dinner tonight. Lisa was cooking and Micky was invited. I smiled as I replied with a yes to him. Ever since Lisa and I got together, it seemed like Micky was inspired to look for love too.
I wished I could explain to him that there was no use hunting for love. It just happens to you, and usually when you least expect it.
39
Lisa
One Year Later
Our son Colby was a blond haired, blue eyed wonder, just like his daddy. He was born healthy and happy and was our pride and joy every day. He was nine months old now and smiled all the time.
Ever since Colby’s birth, Julian worked less and spent more time at home with us. He was also trying to give me space to start applying to colleges so I could get my teaching degree.
Daddy had moved back to his hometown in Wisconsin, and we visited him sometimes. He also came to stay with us over some weekends, so he could spend time with his grandson. I’d forgiven him, and so had Julian and it filled my heart with joy to watch the two of them bond over chess and a few whiskies in the evenings.
Julian had told me everything about himself, and out of all his stories, the one about his grandmother’s home stuck. After everything he had done for me and for my father, I felt like I needed to do something for him too. I wanted to do something for him.
So, while he worked, I visited the old house in New Jersey and made a plan for renovation. It took four months to breathe some splendor into it, and when it was all done, I decided to drive him out there.
Colby was strapped in the baby seat in the back, and I drove. Julian sat beside me, fiddling with the music in the car.
“Where are we going?” He asked and I smiled.
“It’s a surprise,” I told him.
For most of the journey, he had no idea where we were headed till eventually, he started to recognize the way.
“What’s going on, Lisa?” He asked, watching his old town with widened eyes.
I stopped the car when we were outside the house. Julian jumped out, amazed by how different the place now looked. I got Colby out of the backseat and carried him to where Julian was standing. He was staring up at the house, still too dumbfounded to say anything.
“You did this?” He asked, looking at the neat manicured lawns in the front and at the wind chimes in the porch.
“I wanted to do this for you, Julian,” I told him and led him up the steps of the porch to the front door.
“We can’t live here, babe,” he said, looking around him in amazement at all the little design details I’d put in. I smiled even wider at him.
“We’re not going to. I found them, Julian,” I said.
“Found whom?” He asked.
“The family you sold the house to, the ones you felt you cheated,” I replied.
His brows were crossed in confusion. He didn’t think I was making sense.
“How… what…” he stammered.
“I have my ways,” I said with a chuckle and finally, Julian was smiling too.
“You’re going to give them this house. They live out in a cramped apartment in Queens. The father’s lost his job and they’re barely getting by. The two kids are teenagers now, and they could all use a good home,” I continued.
He was shaking his head in wonderment.
“Yes. I’m sure they could. Thank you, Lisa!” He exclaimed and lunged at me. He wrapped his big muscular arms around both me and Colby and we laughed and kissed. I knew that this would help Julian finally find some peace. Maybe now he could let go of his past and truly move on.
Julian kissed me and then Colby’s little forehead, and before I knew what was going on, he was on his knees in front of me.
I still had Colby in my arms, and I screeched in surprise.
“Oh my God! What are you doing?”
He was smiling up at me, his bright blue eyes glowing in the sun. He was extracting a small blue velvet box from his pocket. He popped it open, and a beautiful teardrop diamond ring glittered within.
“I’ve been carrying this around for a few weeks, waiting for the perfect opportunity to
ask you to marry me, Lisa,” he said.
I couldn’t believe it was happening. Julian was asking me to marry him! I beamed at him, clutching Colby tightly to myself as he giggled.
“I love you, Lisa. You are the woman of my dreams, the light of my life. I cannot imagine spending my life doing anything other than being with you through every moment,” Julian continued.
“Yes! I will marry you! Yes, I will!” I squealed.
He laughed, slipping the ring on my finger and standing up.
“You didn’t really let me finish,” he said and kissed me again.
“Is there anything else you want to say?” I asked, searching his eyes. He shook his head.
“Just that you will make me very happy if you said yes, but you’ve done that already,” he added and before I knew it, he was lifting me up in his arms.
Colby came along with me, giggling and throwing his arms up in the air with joy. Julian spun me around and I laughed… feeling myself soar.
Then we walked hand in hand through the house, and he told me more stories about his childhood. He took Colby from me, and pointed at little corners of the house where he remembered something from the past. I watched father and son together and I knew then that Julian was going to keep us safe.
And now we were going to be married, and I couldn’t imagine a happier life than this. Julian, Colby, and me… and maybe some day, we could add a little girl to the family too. I blushed at the thought of that, looking at the way Julian played with Colby. He looked over at me and winked, making me giggle like he always did.
It had all worked out. Everything had fallen in place.
“I was thinking we should get married in Ireland,” he said, interrupting my thoughts and I felt tears of joy pop up in my eyes. This man always knew exactly what I wanted.
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