“I’m about to be late for curfew.”
“Go with me to homecoming,” he blurted out before I had a chance to get away.
“What?”
“Come on.” He smiled. “Cut me a break. I’ve never had to ask out a girl three times before.”
“You better be careful. People will start to talk.”
“So save my rep and go with me.”
Wow! Was this really happening? I mean, how romantic was Luke? I couldn’t say no, could I? “OK, I’ll go with you.” I didn’t know how, but somehow I’d find a way if he didn’t laugh at me when I explained he had to be “approved” by my parents.
Luke’s eyes twinkled just like the stars above us. Then he took my hand in his again, making my heart soar. It would work out, wouldn’t it?
“I really have to go.”
Luke smiled and didn’t look like he would let go of my hand, and I almost didn’t care about making curfew if it meant I could hold his hand for a few moments more. Did his heart pound as loudly in his chest as mine? Was his head feeling woozy? Were voices singing love songs in his ear?
“Can I call you?” He sounded as winded as I felt.
“Yes, I’ll text you.”
“When you get upstairs?”
“Yes.”
He dipped his head to me. “Goodnight, Andrea.” This time his goodnight came across as sweet playfulness. He released my hand.
I raced down the sidewalk. I made it to the porch and glanced back to see Luke slowly drive down the street in front of my house. He stopped and watched me go inside. My heart pounded as I closed the door and glanced at the hallway clock. I’d missed curfew by two minutes, but Mom and Dad didn’t quibble about exact time. I relaxed against the wall, but my heart continued to hammer. Between this boy and the running, I’d definitely exercised my poor aortic organ.
I rushed up the stairs to check in with Mom and Dad. Just then, that sneaky guilt sensation returned. I felt so happy and yet wrong at the same time. I couldn’t tell them Luke had just asked me to homecoming or that I’d gone out for coffee without permission or anything. They’d ground me for sure. I tried to reason that Luke really needed a friend tonight, but a still, small voice told me that didn’t change the fact that I’d broken my parents’ rules once again.
As soon as I was sequestered alone in my room, I stripped out of my sweater and draped it over the back of my desk chair. I pulled out the chair and thought about sitting down and texting Luke directly. My hands gripped the cloth backing for a second before pushing the chair under the desk. I wasn’t that needy.
I dropped down on the bed and crushed a teddy bear into my chest. I’d just spent a whole hour alone in Luke’s presence. It’s not like I couldn’t resist talking to him again already. I turned my head to glance at the clock. 10:38. Popping back to my feet, I went over to my dresser and pulled out some clean PJs and dressed for bed.
I took my time washing my face and brushing my teeth before daring to look at the clock again. OK, I guessed it would be OK to send Luke a message now.
I sent the text and waited what seemed like forever, but when I peered at the clock on my desk, it said it had only been a minute. Well, it wasn’t like he was sitting around waiting for me to write him. So ensconced was I in my musings about what Luke could be doing besides writing me back, I jumped in my seat when the text beeped.
Hey, finally! I thought you must have fallen asleep.
Were you waiting around for little ‘ole me?
Nah, but there’s nothing good on TV, so I thought what the hey. ;)
I’ll let you go. It’s late. See you tomorrow.
Yeah, tomorrow. A few seconds later, he sent: Goodnight, Andrea.
I set down the phone and lay on my bed. Luke Ryan was an interesting variety of the teenage boy species. I mean, how many of them open your door and cause your entire body to tremble just by the tone of their voice as he says your name? And the way he shared his troubles about his parents with me tonight—well, no one had confided in me like that besides the other A-Company Girls.
I slipped under the covers and turned off the light. Just as my head hit the pillow, my phone buzzed with the sound of another text message. Was it Luke again? Quickly, I grabbed the phone in the dark. Amy’s name radiated from the phone read-out. I’d almost forgotten about her. Come to think of it, how odd was it that she hadn’t tried to contact me in all this time? She had to know Luke and I left together.
Amy’s message: Hello—where is the love?
What?
You and Luke. Come on—dying here!
Coffee Cup and he took me home.
Swe-e-e-t! And??
And goodnight, Amy
Night. Go to sleep and dream of deep brown eyes.
She didn’t have to remind me to dream of a certain pair of eyes because, seriously, I didn’t know if I could think of anything else as my weary eyelids finally closed, and I drifted off to sleep.
~*~
I awoke the next morning even before the alarm rang, and for some reason I felt great—like I was rolling along on a sea of bliss. I turned over and a big smile formed. A sigh of contentment escaped me. And then it hit me. Like a rock through a window.
My eyes popped open, and I sat up straight. What had I done? How on earth had I allowed myself to give into all those teenage hormones I have coursing through my body? I’d made a decision—a decision to guard my heart from the likes of Luke. So much for the best of intentions. On top of that, I’d broken my trust with my parents. I’d never really disobeyed them before. Well, not anything this big.
I guess it’s true what they say—“be careful what you wish for; it just might come true.” I’d made a terrible mistake and didn’t know what to do to correct it. Maybe I could be sick with mono or something until Christmas Break. Luke would definitely have forgotten about me by then.
While climbing out of bed, I knew I had to come up with an alternative plan because if I told Mom I had mono she wouldn’t automatically take my word for it. Being college educated and all, she’d probably insist I see an actual doctor. Although, that might work as a stalling mechanism for today.
I threw on some jogging pants and a sweatshirt and decided that a run through the neighborhood might help me to see straight. Exercise gave you endorphins. Endorphins made you happy, right? Or at least they dulled the pain. I really needed some endorphins right now because I was on the brink of falling into unadulterated panic. Seriously, it is sad that I remember more about endorphins from a movie than tenth grade Biology.
13
October 19
Dear Lord, I’m not sure what happened last night, but I think I must have lost my mind. Maybe not my mind, but I sure wasn’t thinking straight. How could I have agreed to go with Luke? How am I going to get through this day? I know I say this quite often, but really, how? Send me some clarity and peace pronto…and some patience, it seems. It’s Day 3 of the Challenge, and I really hope You have great plans for the rest of the week because at this point I am plain tapped out. I know You are trying to teach me things and I probably need to be less self-involved, but I just hope the growth process doesn’t kill me in the meantime.
Nugget of Truth: Proverbs 4:25-26 Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you. Give careful thought to the paths for your feet; then all your ways will be sure.
My tennis shoes plopped onto the cement as I jogged down Sunflower Lane.
The sky looked dark and hazy as sunrise wouldn’t happen for another half an hour.
The words from my morning Bible reading echoed in my head, but still I felt uneasy. Not even listening to my favorite music through headphones brought me any kind of relief. I just kept thinking: “Give careful thought to the paths for your feet; then all your ways will be sure.” I really hoped so.
I ambled around the neighborhood not even paying attention to where I was going until I realized I was almost to Amy’s. My subconscious must have known that I needed to tal
k to her and not over text. This had to be face-to-face—heart-to-heart time.
Amy’s room was at the back of the house on the first floor. I couldn’t count the number of times I’d crawled in through her window for a midnight pow-wow. It wasn’t the middle of the night right now; although Amy might not quite agree with that.
While tapping at the window, I sucked in a breath. Now that I’d arrived, I had to come up with some rational thought about what to tell her. The curtains pulled back and there was Amy in a pair of green and white plaid PJs with her chin-length hair pointing every which direction. She hoisted the window up and stuck her head out. “Andi? What time is it?” She rubbed a hand through her sandy-colored hair and motioned for me to come in.
“It’s about 5:30.”
“In the morning?”
“Yes, of course, in the morning.”
She crawled back into her bed. “Don’t yell at me. I’m still asleep.”
“I’m not yelling.” I sat on the edge of her bed. “You have to be up in thirty more minutes, anyway.”
“Yeah, but I would have enjoyed those uninterrupted thirty minutes.” She covered her head with her powder blue comforter.
“I know, but I had to talk to you.” I pulled the blankets back. “It’s important.”
Amy sat up and wiped her eyes before putting on her glasses. “OK, I’m conscious now. What’s the problem? I thought we had the Luke situation settled.”
I rose from the bed and started pacing the length of her room. “Amy, Luke isn’t a situation. He’s…he’s….” I stopped at the foot of her bed and stared right into her dark eyes. “I made a mistake.”
She massaged her forehead, forcing up her bangs. “Are you serious? This is the reason I’m going to be groggy in Trig this morning? I don’t get how you are this insecure, Andrea. You don’t even come from a divorced home.”
“Don’t start psychoanalyzing me. I just can’t go through with it.”
“You’re just whacked, ya know. A real head case. What am I going to do with you? Medication—it’s the only way.”
“Amy, please, what am I going to do?”
She got out of bed and came up next to me. “One of the best looking guys in school is totally into you. This is a good thing!” She grabbed onto my upper arms and shook me.
Yeah, she was right, wasn’t she? This was a good thing, I think. And Luke was so much more than good-looking. Why was I resisting this so much, then?
I dropped down onto the end of her bed. “You remember when you said I’m afraid for anything good to happen to me?”
“Yes.” She sat next to me and crossed her arms.
“Well, do you really think that’s true?”
Her eyes opened wider with a “duh” expression. “Absolutely.”
“I am a basket case.”
“Yep, that’s why we love you.” She slung her arm around my shoulders and made a more sympathetic face as she smiled. “Why don’t you just try it today and test out how everything goes. See how Luke acts around you at school. It’s not like you’re going out or anything. You guys just went for coffee.”
She just didn’t get it.
“Amy,” I angled my body towards her on the bed. “More happened last night than an innocent cup of coffee.”
Her mouth dropped open and her eyes pulled wider as they swirled with surprise.
“AMY!” As if!
“So, what happened?”
“I agreed to go to homecoming with him…”
“Finally. That’s awesome!” Evidently, she’d forgotten it was not even six AM and her mother slept nearby. She took both my hands and started shaking them up and down excitedly. “Oh, my gosh, that’s off-the-hook exciting.”
“Amy…”
“I mean it, from the first time I saw you two talking together in the caf back in September.”
“Amy,” I said a little louder. She’d obviously taken off into her own little world.
“Yes?” She looked at me this time.
“This is what brings me to my little dilemma.”
“That’s the difference between you and me, Andrea. I don’t see this as a dilemma, but an opportunity. I know you’re worried about what will happen. You are so not a ‘live in the moment’ kind of person like me.”
She was right there. For being so smart and well-read, Amy never gave much thought to consequences. When an idea struck her, she’d just go for it.
“Just take a deep breath, Andi. Baby steps.”
“Baby steps?”
“Yeah, I know this is hard for you, especially with your past history and your parents.”
“No kidding.”
“But you can convince them when the time is right. Until then, just take it one step at a time. See how Luke behaves today and take it slow. Just be cool.”
Easy for her to say. She didn’t have to face a towering, gorgeous guy at school with the whole student body looking on, or my parents, both of whom would, in no uncertain terms, veto the entire idea.
Luke is great and everything—decent grades, polite, sports star. He’d probably pass inspection, but the timing just blew.
“Don’t worry, Am, I’m cool. I’m a darn popsicle.”
“So, tell me about coffee last night.”
“Amy…”
“And what about after coffee? He drove you home, right? Did he walk you to the door? Did he try to kiss you?”
“Amy!”
Face it, my friend was completely incorrigible. There was no stopping her, but I so wasn’t about to tell her anything at this point. Those moments last night were still mine to ponder and relish. Then I would decide the best course of action.
~*~
I took determined strides while walking to the bus stop and repeating over and over: Baby steps, baby steps...it was like my new chant. Of course, I’d never really had a chant before so I guess that made it my first chant. Just then, my phone began to buzz. With each vibration coming from the device, my heart beat that much harder. It was probably just Amy. The bus pulled up to the corner, and I didn’t have time to look at who had actually sent the message.
Once in my seat, I pulled out my phone and took a peek at the read-out, but in my heart of hearts, I hoped it would be Luke. My heart did a double beat when I realized who had texted.
Good morning
I swallowed hard as I thought of a reply to Luke’s text. Then I started typing a reply. Morning 2 U.
How’s it going?
Fine, considering I’m on the bus.
Bummer.
Where R U?
Disneyland ;p
Ha!
At home about to leave. Guess I’ll c u in school.
Yeah, C ya
Bye, Andrea
Did he enjoy saying (or typing for that matter) my name as much I enjoyed seeing and hearing it? Well, when it came from him.
Baby steps. Every time I started to panic, I had to remind myself, baby steps. Of course, I wasn’t sure how much good baby steps would do me when I asked my parents about homecoming. They would so tread all over that dream. Shoot, how would my new philosophy make seeing Luke face to face any easier? I mean, would it make me more articulate than—Hhhiii?
I seriously needed my head examined. This was so stupid. I liked Luke. He liked me. I guess. He sure seemed that way last night. Uhh! Why was I being so insecure about this? If a guy had given as much attention to Angie or Amy, I would tell them they were being stupid if they didn’t realize he was interested. Why can’t I take my own advice? I guess because this is the first time this has really happened to me. I’m not used to guys noticing me. I’m definitely not used to a guy like Luke asking me out as many times as he had. My brain just couldn’t compute it.
Yes, this was a good thing.
I sucked in a deep breath and released it as the bus stopped on the corner from school. Somehow that didn’t help as prickles shot down my back and my heart beat so fast I thought I was finally going into cardiac arrest.
> As if by some miracle, I made it to my locker without disaster striking even once. I glanced down the hallway toward Luke’s locker. Empty. I was almost glad. Almost. A larger part of me, though, felt disappointed not to see him before homeroom. Whatever. It was probably for the best.
After shutting my locker, I swiveled and there, aiming right for me, was Luke. My knobby knees started shaking, and I almost dropped the items in my hands. I folded my fingers tightly around my books to avoid another embarrassing situation and tried to smile. I mean, I was happy to see him.
“Hi.” He smiled when he stopped in front of me with his hands stuck into the pockets of his black jeans.
“Hey, how are you?”
“Great.”
Great was an understatement. He had that early just-out-of-the-shower look with his hair just slightly damp and slicked back in place. And yeah he smelled terrific—distractingly so. I didn’t know what it was exactly—some kind of combination of soap and Luke’s individual scent. Who knows, but it sure smelled good.
He reached in towards me, took my books from my arms, and then pulled out a single daisy from somewhere on his person and handed it to me. Right in front of everyone. He smiled and said, “Straight from my mother’s garden.”
I hardly heard what he said. Between the experience of this encounter combined with last night and with the knowledge that anyone walking down the north hallway of Aubrey Academy at 7:39 in the AM could see us together, I was a wreck with burning hot cheeks. I’d just started getting used to the idea or the possible idea of “us” and now he had to share the news with the entire school. What was he thinking?
I knew I should just relax, repeat my chant (baby steps) and let him walk me to class. But how was this a baby step? I mean, really, how?
I noticed Julie Chung, Stephanie’s cohort, stopped a couple feet from us. Her dark, almond-shaped eyes shone as though she had a juicy bit of gossip. Obviously, she’d seen everything and would no doubt be passing that information all over school before the first bell. She dashed off as soon as she noticed me eying her.
That left me standing in front of Luke, the guy who, unbeknownst to him, had just brought me to the attention of…everyone. Man, I missed my anonymity. I needed to say something to him. He was looking at me and waiting. Yeah, he could see the panic in my eyes.
Andrea and the 5-Day Challenge Page 12