Why all of a sudden did the sound of his name (Luke, Luke, Luke…) echo in my head and make my pulse pound. It could be that he was the love of my life. The reason my heart beats. Or it could be that I had early onset arrhythmia. “I think I have to face my fear, go see Luke and tell him everything.”
“Great!” She hopped off the bed. “So, let’s get you ready for homecoming. Then I’ll drive you over to Luke’s.”
And so it was planned.
I had a plan. A plan? No, I didn’t.
I mean, Amy thought we had a plan, but what about after I got there? After I saw Luke. What if my confidence failed me once again?
~*~
We arrived in front of Luke’s house an hour before the banquet would commence. My hands started shaking so I clasped them together in my lap on top of my lovely new dress.
“You look great, Andi. He’s going to say yes.” Amy tried to bolster my spirits before pushing me out of the car. She pressed the button to release the electric door locks.
I guessed that to be her subtle signal to exit. I started to panic. And the whole baby steps thing was not going to work today. I grabbed the sides of the seat like a life raft. “You aren’t leaving are you?”
“Of course. This is between you guys.” She pointed at the house.
“What if he tells me no? What if he’s still totally angry?” What if I chicken out?
“Well, that’s easy. He won’t.”
“But if he does, I’ll be stuck here with no ride home.”
“He’ll say yes. Now get going. Besides, I have to get back. Remember I have a date picking me up shortly.”
For a second, I forgot about my own worries. “Why are you and Dion still going to the banquet together if it had all just been a ruse to get Luke and me together?”
She lifted her right shoulder into a shrug. “Why not? Dion can’t arrive without an escort. He’s homecoming King.”
Laughter erupted from my lips. Amy. One day she was going to fall for the right guy, and it would shake her world to the very core. But for now, she’d just go along as she always has—happy-go-lucky and butting into everyone else’s business. Of course, why does she have to be right about everything nine times out of ten?
“Bye, Andrea. You’ll be fine, God’s with you.”
I gave her a nod with a deep intake of breath. “You’re an amazing friend, Amy.”
“I know.”
“I want you to be the first to know that I got into the performing arts school. I start in a week.”
“I figured you would.”
“This isn’t going to change anything,” I informed her. “We’ll still spend time together: book club, shopping, sleepovers, visits to the Coffee Cup…”
“Andi, things are going to change, but that’s OK. Remember I’m good with change.” She gave me a smirk. “Now get going and make some more changes in your life.”
“Bye.”
I stood on the curb as she drove away.
My phone buzzed with a text message from Alisha. Good luck with Luke tonight. Angie’s here with me. She says knock his socks off. Not sure if that’s good or not.
I texted back: Thx!
Putting my phone away in my glittery handbag, I had to chuckle. They were all rooting for me and for that very reason I could do this. I mean, I wanted to do it. And the benefit would be very good. Luke. My breath caught in my throat and I hadn’t even seen him yet.
Mustering my courage, I filled my lungs with a fresh breath and rang the doorbell. Nervousness took over while I waited the few seconds for someone to answer the door. The results of this conversation could be mortifying, especially if he slammed the door in my face, or worse, laughed at me, but I couldn’t let that stop me. I owed Luke that much.
My entire body felt weak and trembly, but I wouldn’t allow that to dictate my actions. Breathing in and out deeply, I tried to control my heart rate because who wants to stroke out on possibly the best night of their life? If it all went right, that is.
Anxiously, I clicked my heels on the cement walkway while I waited, and it surprised me when the door pulled open. I found myself face to face with Luke.
Not just Luke, but Luke dressed for homecoming. As my mom would say, he’d dressed to the nines in a dark suit and tie. He was perfect. His hair, his clothes, his smile. Yes, he was smiling at me as I stood there saying nothing.
I had to open my mouth and utter something. “I…uh, guess you’re going to homecoming.” The comprehension impaled me like a red-hot poker straight through the heart. He was going and not with me. Well, he did pay perfectly good money for those tickets. It would be wrong to let them go to waste.
I wanted to leave—flee to the farthest side of the moon. But no. I couldn’t. Standing my ground, I forced the tears back. “That’s great. You should go. I would, um, normally run off at this point because, well, I’m just that pathetic, but I’m going to stick around and say what I came to say because I promised Amy…no, I promised myself that I’d turn over a new leaf today.”
“Andrea…” Why did he have to look so good and show such compassion in those dark eyes of his?
It didn’t matter. None of it mattered. I just had to get through this explanation, and then leave. Somehow. Shoot, I could walk home in these strappy heels if I had to. I’d find a way.
“No.” I held up my hand to him. “I have to say this.” I stopped for a second to collect my thoughts. What was I supposed to tell him again? “First, I have to say that I’m sorry for all the trouble I’ve put you through recently. If you haven’t noticed I’m…well, a complete neurotic, but I am working on it.”
“You’re not neurotic.”
“Yes, I’m a complete freak.”
“OK, maybe a little neurotic.”
“Thank you…I think. Anyway, I don’t have a lot of experience in the whole dating arena. When Amy suggested I ask you out, it sent me on this complete spiral of freak-outs. Even though I really, really…” I gulped down some air, “…like you.” My face started to get really hot. No doubt, my cheeks were the color of Josh’s cherry red sports car. “I’m really sorry about how I’ve been behaving because I know your family is going through a rough time and you’re at a new school. Anyway, I really screwed everything up. So, I’m sorry, and I hope you can forgive me.”
“I forgive you.” He said it so calm in his deep soothing voice.
It made me shiver where I stood.
He forgave me, and he didn’t look mad. In point of fact, he hadn’t looked angry at me since he opened the door. He’d actually looked happy. What did all this mean?
And then I remembered the suit and his going to homecoming without me, and I nearly fell apart all over again.
“The thing is…” I cleared my throat and collected myself, while Luke just stood there and watched me talk with that near smile on his lips, which almost made me forget what I’d planned to say next. “The thing is, that after the recital today my parents told me that they’d decided I could go to homecoming, after all. And I didn’t tell you.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t know. I guess, because I didn’t want to mess you up anymore than I already had. No, that’s not completely true. I…I was scared.”
He took a step out of the doorway toward me.
Panic started to rise up in my chest. I backpedaled.
“Why? Were you scared of me?”
I shook my head and bit my lower lip, hoping the pain would keep the tears at bay. “Just everything. First there’s you, and I couldn’t see what you saw in me. Then I heard you might move back to California. And my parents dropped the bomb that at my recital there were going to be reps from this performing arts school they wanted me to get into. I just couldn’t handle it all. Besides, I told you I’m not good at this relationship stuff. In fact, I’m a dismal failure at it…like I am with Geometry.”
“You’re not a failure at Geometry.”
“Well, not lately.”
“Maybe you
just needed to put more time into studying.”
My mouth curved upwards into a smile. “I suppose I did.” Then I straightened my stance again. This was the doozy, and it would be even harder to say knowing he’d be going to homecoming without me. “So, I came over tonight to tell you all this and to ask you to the banquet because I couldn’t expect you to have to ask four times. I know you’re not a sadist.” I tried to chuckle at my own joke. “I see you’re going with someone else now, but I just wanted to come completely clean.”
“OK, well, is that all you have to tell me? Because I do have a date tonight.” He turned back into the house, and when he returned, he was carrying one of those plastic holders with a corsage inside. The white rosebuds had red, white and blue ribbons attached. Just like my rose today.
The view of those flowers made me sick to my stomach. That corsage should have been mine, and now he would give it to some other girl. And he would kiss this other girl and forget all about me.
Luke opened the plastic box and took out the corsage. He looked at the delicate rosebuds closely. “Pretty, isn’t it? I ordered it a couple days ago for a certain girl.” The evening sun lowered and glinted off his long, dark eyelashes, making his eyes twinkle like magic as our eyes met.
Suddenly, it seemed as though the wind had been completely knocked from my lungs. Was he seriously trying to torture me as he held my corsage? Then he grabbed my hand and slid the flowers onto my wrist with the sweetest smile ever on his face.
“Are you ready?” he asked as he now held both my hands in his.
“For what?” I was completely baffled.
“Homecoming, of course. You did come over to go with me, didn’t you?”
“Y…yes, but I don’t understand. You were already dressed. You have a corsage.” I paused and gaped at him for a second. “You…you were going to come over and ask me to go again, weren’t you?”
He nodded. “Dion filled me in on the reason why you blew me off about homecoming, and that you now had permission to go. He also explained the deal with this new school possibility. I just wish you’d been the one to tell me. That’s what you do when you’re in a relationship.”
“Amy,” I said under my breath. I pulled my hands away and turned around. How embarrassing was this? Could I just disappear and somehow figure out a way to make this whole conversation rewind. No, I didn’t really want that. I’d made headway today. I poured out my heart to Luke. I’d been utterly honest with him and I’ve hardly ever been one hundred percent honest with anyone, especially about my feelings. Wait. Relationship? Had he said relationship?
“So, tell me about this new school.”
“It’s in Chapel Hill. I start in a week.”
“You’ll be a musician girl now, huh? Do you still have to take geometry?” His tone turned totally teasing. I could just imagine the cute smile on his face, but I didn’t dare look.
“Yes, of course. Why?”
“Just wondering. I might need to find another study partner.”
I whipped around to face him. “Would you really?” Then I caught sight of his playful expression and twirled back around. “What about you? Is your Dad still here?”
“Nope, he left this morning.”
“And did you make any future plans?” My body moved a tad to the side, but I couldn’t face him.
“Not yet. Dad still wants me at UCLA, but I think I can work on him.”
“I see.” I see! That’s all I had to say? I should just leave. Kick off these horrible heels and run all the way back home. He didn’t need me bringing him more pain.
Luke tapped me on the shoulder after a minute more and held out his arm like they do when they seat you at a wedding. “Ready?”
“Luke, how can you want to go out with me? Look at everything I’ve done to you.”
“Well, you know, the tickets have to be used by tonight either way.” He tried to grin, but I couldn’t join in. “Andrea,” he took my hands again. “You have to know what you mean to me. You were my first friend. Hey, probably my only friend.”
“You have more friends than I do, and I’ve lived here my entire life.”
“I mean real friends. The ones you can depend on and know they accept you for you. Like you do with Amy, Angie, and Alisha.”
“But can you really depend on me like that? I mean my emotions are completely unpredictable. I may freak out again.”
“Are you always like this?” He pulled me closer into his arms this time, and it felt so warm and it felt so right.
“Like what?”
“Neurotic, but in a good way.” He brushed a piece of hair back behind my ear. “Yeah, neurotic enough to kiss.”
“Well, I told you I’m neurotic, but…what? To kiss? What?”
And then I knew—almost too late—as his head tilted toward mine. I didn’t panic, and I didn’t back away. It was finally time to put aside all my empty fears and insecurities, and I found that it wasn’t all that hard to do. I no longer felt afraid to let good things happen to me so I let Luke kiss me.
“Andrea,” he spoke my name in that tone that made me tingle from head to toe. “You make me laugh. You spin my world around, and you know what? I like it.” Then he kissed me again.
~*~
October 21
Dear Lord,
I made it through the 5-Day Challenge, and it’s been the best five days of my life. Writing in the prayer journal this week (has it only been a week) has certainly been cathartic for my soul. I’ve made some large leaps in my growth both emotionally and I hope spiritually.
Tonight I had my first real date with the best guy ever. Amy and Alisha had a good time at the banquet, too. Amy, looking all petite and perfect, made a lovely escort for Dion. And Alisha appeared as stunningly beautiful as usual with Mike at her side. Stephanie brought Josh, but seeing them together didn’t dampen my night one bit. Poor Angie didn’t come. She was probably home watching a marathon of sci-fi episodes on DVD and happier than if she’d suffered through a school activity. I’m not sure what You have planned for all of us, Lord, but with You in the lead, I know it can only ever be the right direction.
I never would have guessed it, but I think my days of Change-o-phobia are finally over. Hopefully. And the only incident important to me is the day I dropped my books before history class when the one guy who cared to stop said, “Looks like you need some help.” Did I ever! I suppose You set that up too, Lord, because I really did need something to wake me up and set me on the right path. It’s finally time for me to start trusting in Your strength instead of cowering in my own weaknesses.
Yes, I read my Bible after homecoming. I am growing. Actually, Luke and I read it together. And this is what we read to finish my 5-Day Challenge:
Proverbs 8:17 I love those who love me, and those who seek me find me.
Thank you…
for purchasing this Watershed Books title. For other inspirational stories, please visit our on-line bookstore at www.pelicanbookgroup.com.
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May God’s glory shine through
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AMDG
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Andrea and the 5-Day Challenge Page 20