by M. N. Forgy
Copyright © 2016 M.N. Forgy
ISBN-13:978-1530669158
ISBN-10:1530669154
Edited by Ellie McLove
Cover Photography by FuriousFotog
Cover by Sara Eirew
Formatted and proofread by Elaine York/
Allusion Graphics LLC/Publishing & Book Formatting (http://www.allusiongraphics.com)
All Rights Reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form, including electronic or mechanical, without written permission from the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
This book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This book may not be resold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you are reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favorite eBook retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the work of this author.
DEDICATION
I dedicate this book to love.
As it is ugly, it is beautiful.
It brings pain, as much as it brings happiness.
It makes you smile unforgettably, and makes you cry uncontrollably.
You feel lost but found all at the same time.
It takes time, but is unpredictable.
The question you have to ask yourself when you’re head over heels and seeing everything through rose colored glasses is, is it all worth it?
I say yes.
To LOVE! *Flips middle finger*
It’s better to have loved, than to have never loved at all.
Table of Contents
UPDATE ME
CHAPTER ONE
Jillian
CURLED UP IN THE SEAT OF MY CRUISER, which is now considered stolen, I stare out the window.
Zeek and I have long since left the city of Las Vegas, you can’t even see the skyline anymore. My thoughts shift between regret, sorrow, and anger. Everything that just happened…was my fault. There is no way around feeling the turmoil ripping through me like a violent storm. The wake of its destruction landing solely on my shoulders. I gave in to temptation. I betrayed the code of blue. I fell for a criminal.
I knew not to get involved with an outlaw, especially one from the notorious Sin City Outlaws. A president of a motorcycle club to be exact. But I went against my better judgment, and it’s been hell ever since.
I’m trying to wrap my head around the idea that my department is dirty and that Lieutenant Oaks, my father, might have been somehow involved with said dubious acts. I just…can’t though. It doesn’t make sense to me. Maybe there is a deputy or two involved who works for the Outlaws, but my dad? He taught me everything I know about being a Sheriff, he lived by the badge. So I thought…
I need proof, and I want to go back to Vegas and fix what I can before it’s too late.
“We need to get a different car. This one is wanted, everyone is going to be looking for it.” Slowly I blink, my eyes crusted from crying so much, and I look toward Zeek. His dark hair falls in his eyes as he leans forward. He’s looking in the rearview and side mirrors, paranoid.
I pick at the dried blood on my uniform pants, blowing out a puff of air. Visions of my father’s still body wrapped in my arms come back tenfold.
I joined the Sheriff’s department knowing full well the risk, that my father who was the lieutenant might die one day just as I might too. I just never knew that Zeek, the man I have fallen in love with, would be the one to kill my father, and by doing so killed a part of me too. Funny, just calling him my father instead of Lieutenant Oaks sounds weird in my head. But I just can’t bring myself to call him anything else. Not now. I wish I called him Dad more often.
Zeek didn’t just spill the blood of a leader of many, but that of my role model. He was the beast I refused to see, a wolf that disguised himself into something less vicious. I saw the good inside him that others didn’t, or so I thought. Over the last hour I have been shown how naïve and stupid I really was for believing in someone like him. The president of the Sin City Outlaws doesn’t know the word love. He doesn’t care about family, or have any morals.
Zevin Zeek Deluca is the fucking Devil. Complete with a gun, and a leather cut to top it off.
His dark hair blows with the breeze sweeping from the window, his tanned skin standing out against his clothes. He looks so massive sitting behind the wheel, the top of his head brushing against the headliner, his body width bigger than the seat. He’s all muscle, and each ripple is gorgeously evil.
“Did you hear me?” His brown eyes focus on mine, hitting me like a dead weight.
My chest swells with the urge to cry again, the burden of shame sitting on my shoulders spearing into my soul every time Zeek talks to me too much. Feeling the urge to puke, I turn away, and look out the window. I can’t even look at him, let alone talk to him. Hell, I don’t even want to be in the same car with him. Why am I still in this car?
“Dammit, Jillian, you have to talk to me at some point,” Zeek growls.
The car starts to slow, catching my attention, I sit up in my seat and look out the front windshield, curious what has him coming to a stop.
“There’s a truck, we can take it.” Zeek points toward an old white Chevy parked in front of a barn, next to an old two-story house on the side of the road.
I shake my head. “Oh no, no, no, I’m not stealing a car with you, Zeek.” Regardless of what he thinks, I’m still a deputy, and I’m not about to participate in breaking laws with him. Our rebellious affair is over. I should arrest him, take him in, and prove I have nothing to do with this. However, the last time I took Zeek in, it didn’t go in my favor. I don’t see this time being any different.
“You can’t take the high road when you’re wanted, Jillian.” He glares at me, reminding me that I am, in fact, a fugitive right now. He snatched me from my father’s lifeless body, and threw me in my own cruiser and took off. Moments later, we’re both wanted. I tried to tell Zeek it was just a mix up, that someone had their facts wrong and I could set it straight. But he seems to think every law enforcement officer in the Vegas area is a bad guy. I have no doubt that some are dirty, especially after the things I’ve seen over the last few days, but I can’t accept that everyone is. What about the police department? Alessandra isn’t dirty, she’s my best friend and would help me explain what happened. Then I can be left to grieve not only the loss of my father, but also the loss of Zeek.
Because there’s no way we can come back from this. Every time I look at him, I’ll see the hollow look that took over his face before he fired that round into my father.
He climbs out of the car and marches toward my side, throwing open the door.
“Get out.” He snaps rudely, so bitter I feel the bite of his words like a chill down my spine.
“No. I’m not doing this. Take me back, I need to go to the department and expla—” I stop, hating how weak I sound. He grips me by the arm harshly pulling me from the car, and slams me against the closed back door. I think he forgets I’ve had professional training on how to defend myself sometimes. Using my arm, I twist it around his, freeing myself from his grasp.
Rolling his lips over one another he inhales a large breath, like he’s trying to calm himself.
Crossing my arms, I turn away from him. Tears spill from my eyes, and I bite my cheek t
o keep from sobbing. His warm hand grabs my chin, fingers digging into my cheeks, forcing me to look at him. My lips part on their own, wanting to seek comfort from Zeek’s strong lips is asinine considering the circumstances.
“Don’t you get it? Your department is dirty, Jillian. You go there, you will end up in the hands of my uncle.” Yanking my face from his strong hold, I scowl.
His uncle. The one who is the mastermind behind everything that has gone wrong between us. Supposedly he was teaching Zeek a lesson for sleeping with me, so he ordered Zeek to kill my father. Driving a wrench right between us. Zeek says he didn’t know it was my father that the hit was put on, but it doesn’t make me feel any less responsible for everything that went down. If I didn’t listen to my body, I would be at home with Jinx on my couch right now. Jinx, my cat, that is at my house without anyone to feed him. Anger slams through my limbs when I realize Zeek really has torn me from everything.
“Your uncle? Are you serious? You act as if I should be afraid of him, but he isn’t the one who just pulled the trigger on my family, Zeek, you were! He wasn’t the one who took me against my will, you did!” I shove him in the chest.
His face goes hard, his head lowering.
“That’s because you don’t know Frank. I assure you, if you go back he will have his way with you. And, by that, I mean torture you to the point you wish you were dead. Whether it’s mentally or physically.” His dark eyebrows pinch with something sincere, but still laced with that alpha edge. “I know firsthand. I just realized he’s been playing me for the last several years. He’s ruthless with those he calls family, what do you think he’ll do to you?”
“You should have never taken me.” My voice reedy.
“I saved you.”
“I didn’t want saving!” I ball my fists at my sides, as my neck strains with the amount of stress and anger swimming through me. I want to believe him, but look what trusting him has gotten me. His motives are shady, and I’m not sure always in my best interest. My chest pains knowing that our trust has faded like desert sand seeping through my fingers. Gone with the wind.
“You want to be stupid and die?” He pauses, searching my face dispassionately. I almost think he’s going to let me go. That he’s going to tell me he’s done babysitting me. But then his eyes hit me with a stare that contradicts those thoughts. His eyebrows narrow, his eyes squinting as they nail me where I stand. “Too fucking bad, Jillian.” He pulls me off the car, pushing me in my lower back toward the truck. “Now go.”
I feel like a prisoner. How ironic.
Zeek hunches down, looking around nervously as he approaches the truck. He’s clearly done this before. Looking past this one lone house, it’s nothing but land and small bushes. The night sky is clear of clouds, and the breeze is warm and steady. Throwing loose strands of my hair in my eyes.
He juts his head, conveying he wants me to get in on the other side.
I don’t. I’m not breaking the law. I am the law for Christ’s sake. Regardless of what Zeek thinks.
Zeek opens the truck, and looks under the floor mat, searching for a key I’m assuming. Looking defeated he jumps in the driver’s seat and stares straight at the dash, as if he’s going to hotwire it. Glancing up, he pulls the visor down, and a set of keys fall into his lap. He smiles wickedly.
Shit!
“Get in,” he orders, sticking the keys in the ignition.
I stand there, looking out over the desert. The moon is bright and casting a soft glow amongst the open land. I should run. I need to run. I can’t be here, not with him. Something isn’t adding up, I don’t trust him. I swallow as the last thought gets stuck in my throat. My inner deputy telling me to whip around and handcuff his ass.
“Jillian!”
I sprint in the opposite direction of Zeek and the truck.
I run into the night, not caring where it takes me.
My heart slams in my chest wildly.
My fear wanting me to look over my shoulder.
Tears spring from my eyes, because I know by doing this, I’ve shown Zeek I don’t trust him. I’m declaring us officially over. But that’s because we are.
A loud grunt sounds closely behind me. I close my eyes, preparing myself for the impact when hands suddenly clutch my shoulders throwing me onto the desert ground. I fall hard, a loud scream escaping my mouth. Zeek pants as his weight anchors me to the ground forcefully, knocking the wind from my lungs, my mouth doing this open and close thing as I gasp for air. He lifts his weight off my back when he stands up, and warm air sweeps into my chest. My eyes nearly roll into the back of my head when I finally regain my composure.
“I’ve had enough of this shit.” Zeek pants behind me, his tone angry.
My head throbs rapidly, my vision blurring from the amount of adrenaline coursing through my veins. I’m a goddamn deputy, I have had training from some of the best. Zeek is about to learn I’m not one he can just push around. This ends now!
Twisting my body I kick the back of his knee hard, and he drops to the ground. Snapping upright, I deliver a fist right to his jaw, a loud crack vibrating through my hand from the contact. He yells, and tries to grab at my hand, but misses. Jumping to my feet I raise a foot ready to kick him in the chest and he grabs it, twisting it, causing me to flip and fall on my chest, hands first. I roll, and fish for my gun. I should have grabbed it long before this, and ordered him to pull the fucking car over. I didn’t because it hadn’t occurred to me until now that he wasn’t going to let me go.
Freeing my gun as I come to my feet, I lift my arm and aim it the same time Zeek aims his at me. Feet apart we stand with our guns aimed at one another, both of us out of breath.
“Just go, just leave me behind.” I breathe heavily.
“Not happening,” he replies.
Lowering my weapon I fire a warning round into the ground, right next to his feet. He doesn’t seem fazed.
“I swear to God, I’ll shoot you.” My voice cracks, and my hand begins to shake as I palm the cold steel.
“No, you won’t, or you would have done it already.” He steps forward, and I focus my gun on him once more trying to reaffirm my shaking hand. What is wrong with me?
“Don’t test me!” I push through clenched teeth, a tear slipping across the bridge of my nose.
He chuckles, throwing his head back, he fucking laughs!
Taking the opportunity, I drop, and side kick his ankle, making him lose his balance and fall hard. Before he can snap back, I crawl on top of him and I aim my gun at his neck, tears falling from my eyes so freely I can barely see.
“Just because you have balls, doesn’t mean mine aren’t bigger.”
He inhales a large breath, his dark eyes piercing through my bravery as one of my tears fall on his cheek. “You got thirty seconds to lower your gun, Rookie,” Zeek states, his voice low and gravelly.
“I’m going to get up, and I’m going to walk away and you’re going to let me.” I warn, ignoring his demand. My heart pounds against my chest, because I don’t want to walk away from him. I have no choice though, I have to head back to Vegas. My mother needs me, and I have to set my department straight before I’m killed on sight.
Slowly I stand, pressing my gun in the underside of Zeek’s chin forcing him to stand with me. Just as I’m about to pull my gun away from him, he drives his elbow right into the crook of my arm causing me to drop my gun. He shoves me out of the way. I land on my back with a thud, my shoulder blades biting into the hard ground unforgivingly.
Grabbing my dropped weapon, Zeek aims both guns at me. I’m fucked.
“I gave you thirty seconds to have your tantrum. Now this little charade,” derision marring his face, he gestures between us with one of the guns, “is over.”
He squats in front of me, and grips both my cheeks harshly, his fingers digging into them, making me look right at him. My breath catches in my throat, he looks beyond fearsome. The way the moon just behind his head casts the perfect silhouette around
his toned body is breathtaking. I could say I’m sparring with the boogie man himself. “You can try and beat my ass all you want, baby. You ain’t going anywhere.” His voice is rough, alarming even. Goosebumps lick up my arms. Letting go of my face, he runs his hand through his hair, resembling the Zeek I know and not the monster that was in my face moments ago. He looks over his shoulder once, and then he stands and slowly begins to walk away.
I don’t move as tears crest at the corner of my eyes. I look up at the stars of the night, willing the dark sky to just eat me up. To take me away, and devour this pain in my chest. To give me direction, because I have no fucking clue what the right thing to do is right now.
His footsteps get farther and farther away, and hope fills my chest that he’s just going to give up and leave…but that’s only for a second, ‘cause the sound of his boots thudding against the ground head back towards me.
His face appears in my line of sight, and cold steel clinks around my wrists snapping me out of my sorrow. Looking down I find myself handcuffed. He cuffed me?
“Get these off, right fucking now!” I seethe, peering up at him from under my lashes. The look on my face hard, and daring him to say otherwise.
“No.”
“No?” I give a wry laugh. Fear filling my chest as I pull against the cuffs. I pull and pry, the bones in my arms ready to snap if I don’t ease up.
Zeek growls, grabbing my wrist and keeping them still. “Knock it off! You’re going to break your wrist, damn it!” Panting, I grit my teeth willing my mouth to spew words of utter hatred. Pulling his dark eyes from my hands he looks at me with a softer look than moments before, one that says he cares if I hurt myself or not.
“Then take them off.”
“Not a chance, not after that fight. I’ve fought a lot of men in my life but that was…” he shakes his head like he can’t believe it.
I close my eyes, ignoring him. I’m so angry, so beyond pissed that I could care less.
There’s no way I can escape him now. He’s going to keep me prisoner, lock me away before he’ll let me escape. He’s crazy. Fucking nuts.