by Bruce, Lila
“Nicole—” Jamie said, rising from her seat.
Nicole threw a hand out to stop her.
“Don’t,” she said. “Just don’t.”
Nicole spun on her heels, ignoring the smiling hostess holding up the white plastic bag holding her to-go order as she walked away and headed out the exit door.
Chapter Sixteen
When Jamie first stepped across the parking lot of Barnyard Barbecue and Ribs to meet Megan for dinner, she mentally kicked herself for telling the tiny blonde woman she could choose the restaurant. There were plenty of barbeque restaurants in town, and Barnyard Barbeque wasn’t bad, but it certainly wasn’t one of Jamie’s favorites. The food was okay enough, but she had always thought the restaurant too dark and smoky for her tastes. Although, she thought, as she saw a waving Megan standing by the front entrance, dark and smoky was probably the angle the Assistant District Attorney had been going for. Despite what Megan had said earlier, Jamie knew that she was still very much in the closet, or at least enough that she wouldn’t want to be seen eating dinner alone with another woman who was openly gay.
“Hi Megan,” Jamie said while the other woman opened the ridiculous barn-like door.
“You’re right on time,” Megan said as Jamie walked past. “Most cops I know live their lives ten minutes late.”
Jamie flashed her a smile.
“I’m not most cops.”
“No, I would have to agree with you there.”
“Hi, welcome to Barnyard Barbeque. Just two today?” The hostess in a red-checkered shirt and overalls greeted them as they walked into the restaurant.
“Yes,” Megan answered.
The hostess picked up two menus from behind a tall, wooden podium and motioned for Megan and Jamie to follow her. She took only a few steps and then paused by a four-person booth. “Is a booth okay, or did you want a table?”
“No,” Jamie said, “A booth is fine. Thanks.”
“Fantastic,” the hostess said as Megan and Jamie slid into their seats. “Tammy will be your waitress today. She’ll be right out to get your order.”
“Thank you,” Megan said and began to look over the menu. Jamie glanced over her own, but already knew what she was going to order. She’d had the ribs there once before and wasn’t overly impressed, but the pork plate wasn’t half bad.
“Thanks again for doing this,” Jamie said.
Megan opened her mouth to respond, but was cut short by the arrival of the waitress. Once they had placed their drink orders, Megan sat the menu down on the red checkered tablecloth and looked at Jamie.
“Not a problem,” she said. “I meant what I said earlier, you need to go into lunch tomorrow knowing what you are going to say. I think I only met Nicole that one time, but you’ve talked about her enough that I know she probably has a very low tolerance for bullshit.”
“You got that right,” Jamie said laughing. She smiled up at the waitress as the teenager brought their drinks to the table.
“Y’all ready to order?” the girl asked, pulling a note pad out of the white apron she had tied around her waist.
“I’ll have the pork plate,” Jamie answered.
“I think I’ll have the same,” Megan said. Once the waitress left, Megan took a sip of her tea and made a face. “Didn’t I say sweet tea? Lord, I should have gone with a Coke.”
“Oh no,” Jamie said, “Don’t tell me you’re one of those sweet tea snobs.”
Megan narrowed her gaze at Jamie.
“I’m not a snob,” she responded. “It’s either sweet tea or it’s dirty water, with very little in between. And this is dirty water with a little sugar thrown in.” She pushed the glass to one side. “So, have you thought about what you’re going to say?”
Jamie rubbed her eyes and sat back against the hard wooden bench.
“I have an idea, but I don’t know. If I say how I really feel, I’m afraid that Nicole will—as you said—think I’m tossing her a line of bullshit. This whole thing has been a nightmare.”
Megan reached across the table and place one hand on Jamie’s arm.
“I know. Well, I don’t really know because, to be honest, I’ve never felt quite that way about anyone before. I do know a little something about wanting what you can’t have, though.”
“You mean like with your father?” Jamie asked and then instantly she wished she hadn’t. Megan’s expression clouded over and she drew her hand back. Jamie glanced over as the waitress walked past the table, trying to think of what to say to break the awkward silence.
“No…well, yes, actually,” Megan admitted. “Believe me, there’s nothing I want more in the world than to be able to look my daddy in the eyes and tell him what’s in my heart, but like I said earlier today, I know it would break his.”
“It can be hard, I know. Just remember, when you’re ready to have that conversation, you have people who will be there for you,” Jamie said and felt her cheeks go warm when she saw Megan’s eyes misting.
“So,” Megan began, shifting in her seat, looking to Jamie as if she was uncomfortable with the turn the conversation had taken. “What are you going to say to Nicole?”
“Hey, I’m a dumbass, please forgive me?” Jamie answered with a grin.
“I would think that is a given,” Megan said dryly.
“Whatever. Honestly, I don’t know.”
“So, she won’t talk to you at all?”
“Nope,” Jamie responded, shaking her head. “I was able to leave a couple voicemails before she blocked me completely, but she never called me back. Samuels is the one that spoke to her the other day to set up lunch tomorrow.”
Megan frowned.
“Hmm. So you’ve told her everything on the voicemails and she’s still not at least calling you to talk about it?”
“Yes. No. Well, maybe not everything,” Jamie said. She took a drink of her soda and then swirled the ice around in the tall glass. “I hit the high points.”
“Detective, I can’t properly represent you if you don’t give me all the information,” Megan said sharply. “What are you holding back?”
“Okay, here we go, two pork plates,” the waitress broke in, setting the plates down on the table. “Can I get you anything else?”
“No, thank you,” Megan said, smiling up at the teenager.
Jamie looked down at her plate and began to push the shredded pork around with a piece of Texas toast. She could feel Megan staring at her, but pretended not to notice, finally glancing up when the blonde woman cleared her throat.
“I was going to ask her to marry me,” Jamie said quietly. Megan looked at her, but said nothing. “I’ve got a ton of vacation time on the books and thought maybe we could take a trip to Hawaii. I was thinking maybe invite a few friends, have a small ceremony on the beach, and then, you know, already be there for the honeymoon. Ridiculous, I know.” Jamie frowned, surprised that she was confiding to Megan everything she had been planning before Nicole walked in on her and Sundae.
“No, it’s not.” Megan reached across the table as Jamie wiped back a tear. “Hey, it’s not. That’s really sweet, as a matter of fact.”
“Well.” This time it was Jamie’s turn to shift uncomfortably in her seat. “It’s not the kind of thing I can leave on a voicemail, you know? Hey, I’m sorry you think I’m cheating on you with some blonde-headed floozy, but by the way, will you marry me?”
Megan gave a little laugh.
“I suppose not.” She picked up a fork and took a small bite of cole slaw. “So, what can you say to Nicole, do you think?”
“Hey, I’m a dumbass, please forgive me?” Jamie repeated with a wry grin.
“I think we’ve ruled that one out already, haven’t we?”
“I guess. I may still leave it on the backburner, just in case.”
“Mmm. Seriously, though. If Nicole was right here, right now, what would you say to her? Whether it sounds like bullshit or not.”
Jamie stared at Megan and absently chew
ed her bottom lip as she thought. What would I say? Lord knows, she’d thought enough about it over the past several days.
“There’s no one I’d rather be with than you,” Jamie said finally. She imagined for a moment that she could almost hear Nicole’s voice, smell her perfume. “You don’t know what you do to me. There’s no one that has ever made me feel the way you do. You are the only one that I want, have ever wanted, will ever want.”
Megan licked her lips and sat back in the booth.
“Oh, Lord. I don’t know where you got that line, but, damn, it makes me want to go home with you,” she laughed.
“Whatever,” Jamie said and shrugged. “That’s it, I guess—”
“It most definitely is a line, and I wouldn’t believe a word of it.”
Jamie jumped as Nicole suddenly materialized in front of the table. It took a second for her mind to register the fact that Nicole was actually there, let alone what Nicole had said, and when it did, Jamie realized that she must have overheard the conversation with Megan, or the end of it at least.
Nicole’s green eyes flashed as she stared at Megan. “I’m going to give you a good piece of advice and tell you to get out now while you can. If she cheated on me, she’ll cheat on you. Hell, she’s already cheated on both us from what I saw the other day.” Nicole turned to glare at Jamie. “Just how many women do you have, Jamie?”
“Nicole—” Jamie said, rising from her seat. Her legs didn’t seem to want to cooperate though, and she suddenly felt like she was playing out a scene in some horror movie.
Nicole threw a hand out to stop her.
“Don’t,” she said, making a point not to look at Jamie. “Just don’t.”
Jamie’s stomach turned as Nicole spun on one heel and stormed away from the table. Jamie looked at Megan, who stared back, eyes wide.
“Go,” Megan ordered. “Don’t let her just leave like that.”
Jamie jumped from her seat and started after Nicole, almost tripping over the hostess standing in the middle of the aisle. She pushed open the exit door and ran out into the parking lot in time to see Nicole’s green Honda peeling off.
“Goddamn it,” Jamie said under her breath.
“Are you kidding me?” Jamie heard Megan’s voice behind her. “How in the hell can that happen twice?”
Jamie turned to look at Megan and threw her arms up in the air. Dejected, she walked past Megan and then crumpled down to the curb in front of the restaurant. She put her hands over her face and shook her head.
“I don’t know. I just don’t know.”
Chapter Seventeen
“I still don’t know why you had to drag me all the way across the country on Christmas day.”
“Nana, what are you talking about? We’ve only been in the car forty-five minutes. Steven just lives in Cleveland.”
“So you say,” Nana muttered as Nicole turned off the Honda’s ignition. “I just know that I’ve already been gone long enough for those bitch nurses to take everything I own.”
Nicole ignored the familiar rant as she stepped out and around the vehicle to open the passenger door and assist Nana out. With all that had been going on with Jamie, she had considered skipping Christmas dinner at her brother’s, but she had promised weeks ago to bring Nana the relatively short drive from Chattanooga to her brother Steven’s house in Cleveland, Tennessee. Grimacing and ducking as Nana took a swipe at her head with a small black purse, Nicole wished now that she had just stayed home.
“Look, we don’t have to stay long,” Nicole said as she took her grandmother’s arm and led her up the driveway to Steven’s house. “Just eat some ham and try to be nice.”
“Hmpft. I’m always nice.”
Just stop arguing with her, Nicole told herself as they reached the front porch. Before she was able to knock, the door swung open and two young boys came bursting out of the house.
“Nana!” they cried in unison and began hugging the elderly woman.
“I’m so glad to see you! Come give Nana some sugar,” she said and then bent over to hug them back, kissing the closest one on the cheek.
“Nana, come see what Santa Claus brought us,” the smaller of the two boys said, pulling on her arm.
“Boys, be careful you don’t hurt Nana,” Nicole said to her nephews with a laugh.
Nana looked sharply back at Nicole and scowled.
“Nonsense. You leave these boys alone.” She turned back to the boys and smiled. “Now come show me what Santa brought you Kevin.”
“I’m Dakota,” the boy said and then pointed to his brother. “He’s Kevin.”
“Same difference,” Nana muttered. Nicole shook her head and smiled as she watched the boys tow their great-grandmother away.
“Hey, Nicole. You’re here. I thought I heard a commotion.”
Nicole turned at the sound of her brother’s voice.
“Hi Steven,” she said, hugging her brother and giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. “Sorry we’re late. It was a mess getting Nana to the car.”
“Don’t worry about it. C’mon back to the kitchen, Amy is just putting the finishing touches on dinner.” He motioned for her to follow and then began to walk down a long hallway. “So what happened?” Steven asked over his shoulder. “Did she not want to come?”
“No,” Nicole answered as they stepped out of the hallway and into the kitchen, inhaling the aroma of baked ham. “We were halfway to the car and she made a break for it.”
“What? What do you mean she made a break for it?” he chuckled, walking to the oven. He opened the door and peeked in.
“Just that. We got ten feet out of Golden Meadows and she broke into a dead run. You’d be surprised how fast an eighty year-old can run when she puts her mind to it.”
“Good grief,” he said. “I know the last time I was there the nurse told me they had to put a lock on her window.”
“Steven, if you don’t stop poking your head in the oven that pie is never going to get done,” Amy exclaimed, walking into the kitchen.
Steven closed the oven door and gave his wife a sheepish grin.
“Sorry, babe.”
“Don’t ‘sorry babe’ me, just make sure the boys don’t start back in on the rolls. They’re going to have them all eaten before dinner even starts.” Amy turned to look at Nicole as if just noticing she was standing there. “Oh, hi Nicole.”
“Hey, Amy.” She grinned at her brother as he skulked out of the kitchen.
“How was the drive over?” the slender woman asked, stepping over to take her own glance inside the oven.
“It was fine. Traffic wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be.” Nicole looked around the kitchen as she spoke, trying to decide the best way to make her escape. “Can I help with anything?” she asked, motioning to the covered casserole dishes lined up along the marble countertop.
“If you want to start taking those and putting them on the dining room table, you can,” Amy answered.
Nicole nodded and picked up what looked to be a squash casserole and walked it from the kitchen to the adjoining dining room. She was just in time to see her oldest nephew swipe a roll from a basket on the table and then run out of the room with it.
“Kevin!” Amy shouted as she came in behind Nicole. “I’m not going to tell you again!”
Nicole couldn’t help but laugh, which earned her a stern glance from her sister-in-law.
“I’m sorry, babe,” Steven said, walking in the room. “I told them to stay out.” He frowned at Nicole. “Where’s Jamie? I thought she was coming.”
“Oh, is Jamie not here?” Amy inquired, looking around the room.
Always gotta be a bitch, don’t you Amy? Nicole thought. “No, she had to work tonight,” Nicole lied, not wanting to give Amy the satisfaction of being on target with the accusation she had made the other day.
“Really? On Christmas? That’s unusual isn’t it?” Amy asked, trying—and failing—to be nonchalant in her questioning.
“Not r
eally. Jamie’s on call tonight, so has to stay close to home in case she gets called in.” Nicole glanced to her brother, who was making a point to not make eye contact with either Nicole or his wife lest he be drawn into the conversation. She knew that Steven was well aware of the animosity between the two of them and, as a general rule, did his best to keep them separated at family functions.
“Well…” Amy drawled. “I hate that she wasn’t able to make it.”
“Mm-hmm,” Nicole said absently. “Steven, I have some presents for the boys out in the car. Can you give me a hand in bringing them in?”
“Um, sure,” he said, avoiding a narrow glance from Amy. “Lead the way.”
Nicole flashed a smile at Amy and walked out of the dining room. Not for the first time, she wondered what her brother saw in the woman.
“So, you want to tell me what all that was about?” Steven asked once they were on the front porch. “Does this have something to do with that woman that Amy saw Jamie with last week?”
Nicole stopped and glared at her brother.
“She told you about that, did she?” Nicole shook her head in disgust. “Of course she did.”
“Now Nicole, Amy’s just trying to look out for you.”
“Oh, spare me. Amy would love nothing better than to see trouble between me and Jamie, just so she can be right about something.”
Steven leaned against the porch railing and leveled his eyes at Nicole.
“So, is she right? Is that why Jamie’s not here tonight?”
Nicole opened her mouth, closed it, and then sat on the front porch step. She stared at the Christmas lights on the house across the street as she reflected back on the last week.
“I’m not going to say she’s wrong,” Nicole said finally. “We’re going through…a thing right now.” Nicole sighed, surprised that she couldn’t bring herself to tell her brother everything that had happened.
“A thing? Like a bad thing?” he asked, sitting down next to her. “I thought you two were pretty serious.”
Nicole shrugged.
“I thought we were too.”
“You want to talk about it?”