“I don’t know why Hallam left me in charge either,” I said. “But I am, and if we want to stand a chance against Sutherland, you’ve got to do what I say.”
“Hallam would never have done this,” said Gus. “He’d never have allied us with Wodden. He’d never have us move camp. We are working with the enemy, and no one else seems to think it’s that big of a deal.”
“Hallam’s not here,” I said. I was starting to feel angry. If Gus’ feelings spread throughout the camp, I was going to have problems. I needed everyone to work together. “I’m here.”
“I don’t see why we have to listen to you,” said Gus.
“Oh, you don’t?” I said. I stood up too, facing Gus across the fire. “I’ll tell you why you have to listen to me. You have to, because if you don’t, I will make you.”
Kieran, who was sitting beside me, touched my arm. I shook him off.
“Your threats don’t scare me,” said Gus. “You’re nothing more than a crazy girl, and ever since you showed up, things around here have gotten worse.”
“This isn’t a threat,” I said. “This is a promise. Shut up now, or I will make you shut up.”
“You gonna shoot me?” Gus asked, sneering at me over the fire.
“No,” I said. “Last chance, Gus. Sit down and cooperate.”
“Absolutely not,” said Gus.
It was a lot like what I’d done with Jenna. When she screamed, I’d just reached into her mind and…shut her up. I knew it might have disastrous consequences, but there was too much at stake now. I couldn’t have Gus questioning me every three seconds. I touched his mind briefly.
Gus sat down. He looked confused. “Of course,” he said. “We’ll do as you say. You’re in charge.”
“Thank you,” I said. I looked around the fire. “Does anyone else need clarification?”
No one did.
* * *
I ran into Polly on my way back from using the bathroom before bed. I waved, but I didn’t have any intention of engaging her in conversation. She stopped me, though, looking furious. “Why did you tell me not to tell Jason I was pregnant?” she demanded.
Oh, God. I’d forgotten all about that. Jason was having a baby. Dammit. I felt ambushed. “I just think you should wait. He’s distracted right now.”
“I think it’s because you’re still in love with him,” said Polly.
“That’s ridiculous,” I said. I was tired. Did we really have to do this right now?
“No, it’s not,” she said. “I see the way you look at him. He wants you, and you want him. You can both pretend that you don’t have it bad for each other, but I know better.”
“Polly, I’m with Kieran.” I thought of Kieran then, already snug in our tent. I wanted to be close to him right now, not standing here arguing with Jason’s girlfriend.
“Right,” she said. “Just like Jason’s with me.” She snorted. “No wonder you kept telling me to leave him. You didn’t want him to be with anyone else.”
“I don’t care who Jason’s with,” I said. That wasn’t entirely true, I guessed. I’d been jealous, sure, but I was over it now. Maybe I was kind of jealous of the pregnancy thing, but all things considered, I was glad I hadn’t actually turned out to be pregnant.
“You’re lying,” she said.
“I’m…” What was I supposed to say? She was convinced.
“Well,” she said, “whatever you did, it worked. I can’t get in to see Jason at all anymore. He’s too distracted by the battle and by you. So I definitely can’t tell him about his baby, and I can’t get the grimoire either.”
“Forget about the grimoire, Polly. I don’t need it.” I didn’t think I’d be getting rid of my magic any time soon. I needed it. The world needed it. That was just the way things were.
“Forget about the grimoire,” she repeated. “And forget about Jason, too, I guess. Keep me out of the way so that you can take him from me.”
“I don’t want his psychotic ass,” I said. “I mean it. I don’t. Take him and welcome. Seriously.”
I walked past her. I wasn’t going to listen to that anymore. It was interesting that Polly seemed to have grown a spine when it came to someone taking Jason from her. I hadn’t thought she had one in the first place.
She was wrong, of course, wasn’t she? I’d let Jason hold me when I was upset about Chance, but that hadn’t been romantic in any way. I was with Kieran. There was no part of me that still wanted to be with Jason. No part at all.
I shoved myself into the tent with Kieran and curled into his body. His arms came around me, and he kissed me feather soft on the neck.
I snuggled close. Good. Here I could relax and sleep.
Kieran whispered in my ear. “You used magic on Gus today, didn’t you?”
No. I didn’t want to talk. I just wanted to feel secure in the circle of his arms and drift off to sleep. “Yes,” I said.
“Why?”
I thought for a second. “It was just easier.”
“You aren’t worried about something happening to him? You were worried about that all the time before. You never wanted to use your powers.”
What was this? Before, Kieran had wanted me to use magic. Now, he was against it? “I thought you wanted me to use magic.”
“I’m just trying to figure out why you’re using it now,” said Kieran. “What changed your mind?”
I considered. I had been against using magic for a long time, but now it didn’t seem nearly as bad as I thought it had been. “It must have been when the men from Clinton attacked us in the sleeping bag,” I said. “If I hadn’t done what I did, we’d both be dead.”
He didn’t say anything for a few minutes. All I could hear was his steady breath. Then he said,
“I’m not going to lie, Zaza. That freaked me out.”
“What? Why?”
“It was so bloody and violent. You had those guys mutilate each other. And you…you seemed to enjoy it.”
I stiffened next to him. “I didn’t enjoy it,” I said.
“You were laughing.”
“Kieran, I was just thinking about this line in the musical Chicago , and I started giggling. It wasn’t like I was laughing at them all dying.”
“Are you sure?”
“Of course I’m sure.”
He was quiet again. Finally, “If you were right before, about the nature of your magic being destructive, is it possible that it could destroy you?”
“Kieran, please. It’s a tool, like everyone’s been saying all along. What we’re fighting for now is important. And sometimes, it is true that the ends justify the means.” Hadn’t Lily tried to tell me this before? I’d simply been too confused to listen. Things were clearer now.
He pulled me tight against him. “I just worry about you. That’s all.”
“I’m fine,” I said.
But as I fell asleep, I saw the faces of the men I’d forced to kill each other. I saw all the blood. I remembered that there was something about the voice that I used to hear when I used my magic.
There was something… I put it from my mind. I was very tired.
Chapter Nineteen
The next day was full of the arrival of more men. OF forces swarmed into the camp, and Gus and Lily got them set up. Jason’s army was arriving too. People were appearing from all over, ready to help fight against Sutherland. Our numbers were growing.
I spent as much time as I could helping to organize everyone, supervising Gus and Lily, and lending a hand with Jason’s new arrivals as well. Gus didn’t challenge me again. Whether it was because the magic I’d used on him was still working or because he was afraid of my messing with his mind, I didn’t know. But I was glad. It made things much easier.
Nancy and Carol showed up with baby Guy in the afternoon. Nancy had had some dreams and was concerned about what was going to happen. They wanted to know if they could help.
I was sure that we could use Nancy’s healing skills, but I didn’t think I wante
d her close to the fighting. I did think there were ways they could be of service, however.
We sat at a picnic table in the park. It was a warm day, and I was glad the fight this evening would take place in the dark, when it was cooler. “I don’t want the two of you to be harmed,” I said. “There are probably going to be a lot of casualties, and I can’t risk Nancy being hurt. Her healing powers will probably be needed later.”
“We can’t just sit back and do nothing,” said Nancy.
“Sure we can,” said Carol. “Are you forgetting we have a baby to take care of these days?”
Nancy rolled her eyes. “I’ll be safe. I just need to know what I can do.”
“Well,” I said. “There is something that could be done. There are a lot of small children and their mothers in this camp. Jason’s call has reached out to entire families. I hate the fact that they’re in harm’s way. If you two could take them further out, away from the fighting, that would be really helpful.”
“That wasn’t what I meant,” said Nancy.
“Absolutely,” said Carol. “We’d be happy to do that.”
“Great,” I said.
“A lot of these people are from Columbus, aren’t they?” asked Nancy. “I don’t think they’re going to want to be around Carol and me. At best, they’re afraid of us because they think we’re witches. At worst, they hate us because we’re lesbians.”
“They’ll have to get over it,” I said.
We went to round up the mothers and children. As Nancy predicted, there was a bit of resistance from some of the people from Columbus who remembered Nancy and Carol. But it wasn’t much, and I was able to convince them easily. They knew they were in danger, and they wanted to go someplace safe.
It took time for them to pack up and say goodbye to their families, but eventually, we got all of them to follow Nancy and Carol, who were going to take them back to their farmhouse. I promised Nancy that we would send for her when we needed her healing services.
“If I have any important dreams,” she told me, “I’m coming to find you.”
I smiled. “Okay.” It wasn’t as if I could stop her, was it?
The atmosphere seemed more focused and less worried with the children gone. Squadrons were being formed, points of attack being explained, guns loaded, hiding places for snipers scouted out. I walked among our army, which was larger than I’d imagined it could be. When Sutherland arrived, we’d be ready for him. He wouldn’t be able to get past us. And soon, very soon, I’d have Chance back. But until then, I had to be patient.
There was nothing to do at this point but wait.
* * *
It wasn’t even dusk when one of Jason’s personal guards came running up from the river bank. He was out of breath and sweaty, and his clothes were ripped and dirty. There was a gaping wound on his forehead. Blood and sweat were smeared on his face and hands.
Jason went to intercept him immediately, and I followed.
The guard stopped when he reached Jason and bent over, his hands on his knees. He struggled to catch his breath. “They’re here,” he wheezed.
Here? I sprinted away from the both of them to look out over the river. It was full of black boats, crammed with soldiers in uniforms. The boats had heavy artillery, and they were coming across the river in full force. Behind the boats on the water were more boats on the shore and more squadrons of men. The mass of bodies stretched over the horizon. I couldn’t see the end of Sutherland’s army. There were just swarms and swarms of people as far as I could see. My breath caught in my throat. We’d thought we would have hours yet. Were we even ready?
Kieran was behind me. “They’re early,” he said.
Jason yelled for me to come to him, and I did. Kieran was right behind me.
“He’s in the cemetery,” Jason said as soon I was within earshot.
The cemetery? “Who is?”
“Sutherland. He’s got Marlena, Chance, and Hallam, and he says if we wait with him while his army passes, he’ll give them back once he’s clear of our camp,” said Jason.
“What cemetery? And how do you know this?” I said.
“He told me to give Jason the message,” said the guard, who was still out of breath. “His boat docked maybe five minutes ago. We were under orders not to engage, so we let him pass.”
“You did the right thing,” said Jason to the guard. To me, “The cemetery is just outside the park.
It’s an old civil war cemetery. There are bunches of graves from the 1800s.”
Jason barked out orders for his men to hold their ground and stick to the plan. I did the same.
Then Jason took me by the arm and we were running for the cemetery, with Kieran just a few steps behind us.
The cemetery was overgrown. No one had cut the grass in months. The graves were obscured by high grass and leafy trees. The sun was setting and the whole area seemed quiet, abandoned, and spooky, like in a horror movie. We stopped short at the edge of the cemetery and looked around for Sutherland.
At this point, Jason noticed Kieran. “What’s he doing here?” he demanded.
I grabbed Kieran’s hand. “He’s with me,” I said.
Jason clenched his jaw, but didn’t comment further. Instead, he pointed. Sutherland was standing next to an iron fence that surrounded a group of maybe twenty elaborate gravestones. Seeing him reminded me of the time Lilith and I had run from him outside the church in Shiloh. His feline grin was exactly the same. It gave me chills. He had five or six soldiers with him. Chance, Hallam, and Marlena were sitting on the ground, tied and gagged. They had scabbed-over wounds, stringy hair, and wild eyes.
At the sight of Chance, I took off towards him, screaming his name. I collapsed on my knees in front of him, reaching out to touch him, to make sure he was okay.
“Uh uh,” said Sutherland, and one of his soldiers put a machine gun in my face. I dropped my hands.
“He better be okay,” I said to Sutherland.
“He’ll be fine,” said Sutherland. “As long as you stick to the deal.”
Jason and Kieran came up behind me. Kieran helped me to my feet.
“I know you wouldn’t have any stupid ideas about trying to double-cross me, would you?” asked Sutherland.
Jason crossed his arms over his chest. “Of course not,” he said. “But I think it’s fair for us to make sure you haven’t hurt our friends. Un-gag them. Let them talk to us.”
Sutherland laughed. “I don’t think so. You can see them. There’s no reason for them to talk.”
“Why?” said Jason. “If you remove their gags, will they tell us that this is a trap, and you’re planning to slaughter all our people anyway?”
“Why would I do that?” asked Sutherland. “I know that if I open fire on your troops, you’ll use your little mind tricks to turn them into super soldiers. No thank you.”
“Then why can’t we talk to them?” asked Jason.
Sutherland sighed heavily. “Fine, fine.” He waved carelessly at his soldiers. “Remove the gags.”
The soldiers untied the gags in their mouths. Hallam began to swear as soon as his was off. He threatened to do all kinds of foul things to Sutherland. Good. So Hallam was all right.
Marlena seemed only concerned about me. “What are you doing here?” she asked me. “You shouldn’t be running around like this. It’s dangerous for your baby.”
“There’s no baby,” I said. “It was a false alarm.”
“Thank heaven for that,” she said.
And Chance just seemed out of it. “Zaza?” he whispered.
I turned angrily on Sutherland. This man was pure evil. I hated him. “What did you do to him?”
“He’s fine,” said Sutherland, inspecting his fingernails.
“He doesn’t seem fine,” I said. “He’s a paraplegic, for God’s sake. Have you been taking care of him? He needs—”
“Shut up,” said Sutherland. He gestured to one of the soldiers, who put a gun against Chance’s head.
I reached out with my mind and let my power brush Sutherland’s mind. I tried to implant anger and hatred and the desire to do himself in. But it was different, somehow. Generally, I just reached inside and there was something that I sort of…I don’t know…flooded.
With Sutherland, when I tried to pour my power into him, I couldn’t. There was a resistance.
Sutherland laughed. “Trying to use your magic on me, Azazel?”
“No,” I said.
“I think you’ll find me a bit hard to influence,” he said. “I don’t have an impressionable mind.”
When my grandmother had told me about her power, which was also the power I’d inherited, she’d told me that it only worked on people with impressionable minds. She couldn’t manipulate everyone. My power was much stronger than hers, and I’d never really encountered someone I couldn’t influence. But if there was anyone with an iron will, it was Sutherland.
Dammit. What were we going to do now?
Chapter Twenty
I tried not to convey my panic as I surveyed Sutherland, my tied up brother and friends, and his armed guards. This whole plan had hinged on my being able to take Sutherland out. What did we do now? If Jason and I got our armies to fight Sutherland’s, he’d kill Marlena, Hallam, and Chance.
If we stood by and did nothing, Sutherland would have won his first battle in taking over the whole country.
I looked at Jason, whose face was stone. No help there.
I didn’t want to sacrifice Chance in order to save the rest of the country. He was my little brother, and I didn’t have any family left besides him. Everyone was dead. If I let Chance die, I’d be all alone. How would I live with myself if I did that?
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