by Quil Carter
I mean fuck, I still hadn’t dealt with them dying… I think I was still in denial that my dads wouldn’t be in Aras, waiting for us to come home. It didn’t feel real at the time and it still didn’t feel real now.
“No one knows we’re here,” I said, pushing that thought from my head. I stood up with him and put my arm around his side. “It’s just us out here. Me and my Killi.”
Killian let out a small breath; he had a tense and worried expression on his face. I thought he was going to say something but he just turned around and put his arms around me. I heard another sniff and felt him bury his face into my still damp shoulder.
“I knew you’d find me,” Killian whimpered. “You came so far… how did you escape from the Legion? Aren’t they looking for you?”
I shook my head but had to swallow down Killian’s mention of my time in Kessler and Nero’s custody. It was hard to think that the last time we had properly been together was in Mariano when we were going to sell Chally and charge the Ieon.
And now Chally was most likely getting skewered by both Reno and Garrett. Sengil to the friendliest chimera in existence and my good-natured best friend. Lucky fuck.
“I was rescued actually,” I said to him lightly, and when he looked at me with surprise I smiled. “Reno, Caligula, and Caligula’s boyfriend Nico, plus Elish. Reno was still injured from his time with those terrorists and he couldn’t come… it was just me and Elish on the road for quite a while looking for you.” I put a hand on his chin, rough from his prickly facial hair and kissed his lips. “Well, you and Jade.”
Then Killian’s face fell and I cursed myself for bringing Jade up.
“Jade? Oh… oh god, poor Elish,” Killian choked. He held a hand up to his mouth and his eyes started to brim, but a glint of hope appeared when I shook my head back and forth.
“He survived,” I said to him with a half-smile. Killian’s face flooded with relief and I heard a faint whimper. “I’ll tell you that fucking unbelievable story later. He… we got into some trouble and Elish had to take him back to Skyfall.” I decided to leave out Jade’s state at the time. “And that’s why I continued on, on my own…”
“With Silas?” Killian whispered, then he shook his head, his face tense. “I… I need to just sit down and…” His lips pursed. “Use the bathroom… do we have one?”
I chuckled and kissed his head. “I remember pissing for a solid minute when I had been resurrecting for a long while. Just find a tree outside that’s what I’ve been using, that and digging a hole. Why don’t you go and when you come back, we’ll shoot up some heroin and just enjoy some quiet.”
The expression of shock on his face made me smile. “We…” Then his eyes travelled to the coffee table where he spotted the two needles. “Thank – thank you, baby. I really need to just… I don’t even know if this is real.”
I watched Killian run a hand over his bald head, barely showing the faint prickles of blond hair, and walk out of the door into our new neighbourhood.
I fucking missed that kid… I really fucking missed him.
I turned around and walked to the coffee table, but when I sat down on the couch with the drugs in front of me, I felt something hit my thigh. I looked down and saw a rounded black pebble resting beside my leg.
That was strange. I had been laying on this couch, sleeping on it too, and I had never seen…
A queasy feeling started growing inside of my gut when I picked up the round black object. I held it up to the window and turned it around in my hand before smelling it. It was plastic with a small silver band on the top and the tiniest of screw holes. What the hell…
Oh – fuck.
It was a fucking O.L.S.
My mouth dropped open but immediately my eyes travelled past the device to where Killian was. I saw him walking slowly towards a black tree unaware of the bombshell that had just been dropped on me.
How could I have not seen this thing? It couldn’t have been on Killian’s clothes because his clothes had been almost entirely charred off of him, and I’d changed him in new clothes Perish had packed. Where could it have come from?
Then I remembered back to when I had held him against me. The fist that I had originally thought had been clenched in pain. It had been locked tight the entire time he had been resurrecting and I’d thought nothing of it.
So if Killian had been holding an O.L.S… whose was it? He had eaten Sky’s in front of Silas, hadn’t he? Was it Perish’s?
I turned the small pebble-sized ball of plastic around in my fingers and squinted to see if it had any writing on it, but there was nothing. All I knew for sure was that it was an O.L.S and it looked like that would be the extent of my knowledge.
But… I might know where to get more knowledge on it.
My eyes took me to the spare bedroom, where all of Perish’s belongings were, and I swallowed down the curiosity burning my throat. Perish had packed a lot of shit on that quad, not just survival things for Killian, but what looked like years and years of research. He had CDs, those little stick USB things, a laptop, two knapsacks full of what looked like half-finished projects, and vials and vials full of serums and fluids, some in strange protective containers that required batteries, and all of which I had immediately zipped up and put in a corner. It was obvious from what was on that quad that Perish had been preparing to kill himself for quite a long time. This wasn’t a suicide because Killian had shunned him or something like that – I think my brother was really ready to go.
If this was Sky’s O.L.S…
Even the prospect of Sky’s O.L.S still being viable filled my head and heart with many different feelings, and none of them were good.
A small, devious smile split my lips as Killian started walking down our driveway. I wrapped my fingers around the little device and allowed myself a fleeting grin that acted like a lit fuse to my mind. If I was in possession of the last shred of Sky that Silas had…
Oh just think of the havoc I could bring, just think of how much control I could have over him. It would be beautiful. The expression on his face, the moment his heart jumps when he realizes just what’s in my possession.
My eyes closed and I felt a heat rush through my body. It was orgasmic, soothing, and wrapped itself around me like a ribbon made of the softest silks. Its voice was that of a lullaby that soothed the rough edges of my mind with songs that sung promises that only in my wildest dreams could I hope would come true. The promise to taste the anguish on Silas, to drink in his hysterical screams as I held that O.L.S in my hand. I wanted to torture him in so many ways, so many ways it made my mouth salivate.
“Are you tired, baby?”
And just like that, my sadistic and alluring thoughts of revenge and seeing the agony on King Silas’s face disappeared.
I opened my eyes and saw Killian looking back at me, his hand clutching his forearm and his brilliant blue eyes gazing at me with an inquisitiveness that painted the most beautifullest of portraits on his face. My blond-haired boy who I had just gotten back after months of us being separated, who I had almost lost to death. The boy I had sworn to give up revenge for; the boy I had cried into when I had thought I’d felt his spirit float away.
The hatred that coated my body, fuelled by a need to see Silas suffer and driven by what he and some of my other brothers had done, drained from me like a plug being pulled on dirty sink water.
I smiled back at him and shook my head. Without him seeing, I slipped the O.L.S into my cargo pants pocket and walked up to him. I leaned in and softly kissed his lips and slowly wrapped my arms around his waist.
“Do you know how much I missed you?” I whispered to him. I inhaled his scent, and as I leaned my face towards his, he did as well, and we shared our first real kiss.
When I pulled away, I framed his face with my hands and just went over every detail. Looking at him made me wish I was an artist, it made me wish I had some sort of creative talent, because I wanted to freeze frame this moment, capture it forever.<
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He was just that beautiful.
I was tempted to tell him just what was going through my mind at that moment. I think he would be surprised with me. He knew how much I hated King Silas; Killian had just as much of a reason to hate him as I did.
But my hatred for Silas didn’t outweigh my love for this perfect immortal boy in front of me. I wouldn’t go back on the promise I had made as I’d ran behind King Silas towards that lab. I would give up my need for revenge to keep him safe. This would be no start of a mission to torture and destroy King Silas. No. I had Killian and we were safe in the plaguelands with everyone most likely thinking we were both dead. Or me as close to death as I could be.
And for all I knew King Silas didn’t make it out of there and he was burning too. If that was the case, Elish would be king for the next twenty years and he’d be happy anyway. He could make Jade immortal and they’d have the life Elish always wanted.
And if Silas was alive? I don’t know. It was no longer my problem. I had almost lost Killian because of Elish, Leo, and Greyson’s foolish dream and I refused, flatly refused, to put him in more danger. Even if he was immortal his mind was still fragile and prone to his bouts of crazy; he didn’t need the mental repercussions of going against Silas and the chimeras Elish hadn’t secured.
So either Silas was burning or he’d be insane from sadness over losing Sky’s O.L.S, both of those things were good enough for me.
I just wanted my Killi.
“Come on, baby,” I said as I gently took his hand. I led him towards the couch and we both sat down beside each other. I picked up the nylon tie-off I’d found in someone’s closet and started tying off Killian’s arm. “I think we should get high out of our minds and just snuggle on the couch. We can talk about anything you want, or nothing at all.”
The left corner of Killian’s mouth rose in a crooked smile. Poor little mister still looked sleepy and out of it. It was cute and it just made me want to take him into my arms again.
“Just promise me I’m not dreaming,” Killian said in a quiet voice. “Promise me I won’t wake up to Sky beside me, staring at me… wanting…” I put my arm around Killian when he shut his eyes and shuddered. I squeezed him to my side and shushed him, then kissed the top of his head.
“He’s gone, baby boy,” I whispered, though as I said that I felt the outline of the O.L.S in my right pocket. So dearly did I want to ask him if it was Sky’s or Perish’s. One I knew he’d be relieved to still have, the other he would make me destroy on the spot. “He’s gone and it’s just you and me. Until you eventually drive me insane and I go kidnap one of my brothers to distract you.”
I watched his face to see if he was either going to smile at the comment or cry, my heart filled when the crooked smile came back.
“Who knows…” Killian said in the same timid voice. “We’ve been apart for so long, it’s hard to remember what it was like when it was just the two of us.” Then he looked up at me and the corner of his mouth rose higher. “But… I’m looking forward to being your boyfriend again and I think now…” He shrugged. “Now I think you’ll finally let me be a boyfriend back to you, instead of just a kid you always had to try and save.”
I opened my mouth to say something witty back, but I found myself closing it. Honestly I had never thought of that before. Killian was right, a large part of what our relationship had entailed, saving Killian, was now gone. We were about to enter into a whole new faction of our relationship.
Though as I looked at him, with his bald head, black-circled eyes, scrawny appearance, and of course, the needle sticking out of his arm. I knew that that day wasn’t today. For now, possibly for the next two hundred years, he’d still be my Killi Cat. Someone who needed to be taken care of, but also someone who needed to take care of someone too. One day maybe he’d grow into an adult but that was in the future.
And even then, it would be mentally only… Killian was now stuck as an eighteen-year-old forever. Elish hated the idea of having Jade frozen as a teenager but I didn’t mind. I couldn’t see Killian any other way.
Then I smiled. As Killian pulled out the now empty needle from his skin, I rose to my feet and clapped my hands together with a crooked, toothy grin.
“And while that hits you, I’m going to get you some fucking cake!” And, just to solidify this strange, creepy new happy Reaver I was still myself getting used to, I started to sing to him Happy Birthday, Killian looking at me like I was insane the entire time.
Chapter 4
Sanguine
When I saw the sight in front of me, a smile immediately spread on my lips, and when Nero looked my way, grabbed the rubber duck in the bath water and squeaked it at me, I burst out laughing.
Nero was sitting in the Jacuzzi tub with Ceph facing him. Both of them were naked, up to their chests in bubbles, and surrounded by bath toys which I usually kept in one of the bathroom cabinets for when the younger chimeras were staying over… or when King Silas was drunk and in a silly mood.
My brothers looked absolutely foolish and it was wonderful. In that moment I wished Jack was here beside me, because surely he would be wanting to paint this unique scene. Two brute chimeras in a bathtub full of toys. I wonder if he could capture the emotion I was seeing in Nero’s eyes.
And oh were Nero’s eyes ever overflowing with love, love for this auburn-haired man in front of him. He never took his eyes off of Ceph for long. Even when Nero was picking up toys or looking at me, his eyes travelled back to that man like he was stuck in his gravitational pull.
King Silas had taught me to be strong. Jasper had taught me to endure. Jack had taught me to accept myself.
But Nero had taught me what true love was.
“Nero, you look absolutely foolish,” I said with a casual smirk. I glided over to them and put my hands behind my back. “Do tell me we’re going to give him a haircut and shave him?”
“Oh, definitely,” Nero said. He picked up a bath mitt with a scratchy end, one that all little chimeras hated because it meant I was about to scrub their little bodies raw, and started gently washing Ceph’s arm. “He’s already smelling better. Do you want us to cut all your hair off, Cephy?”
Ceph, who had been quiet but alert, nodded his head slowly. “Yeah, just… leave a few inches, I think,” he said, his voice deep but I could still hear the weakness in it. He was speaking normally and coherently though, and that was what I had been the most afraid of. It looked like my plan that had extended through the past thirty years had worked – Ceph hadn’t lost himself.
“Do you have any plans on where you’re going to go?” I asked. I heard movement behind me, and when I turned I saw Kiki peeking in with a shy smile. “Is the food here already, little one?”
Kiki nodded. “I have everything covered so it’ll stay hot. How are you feeling, Master Ceph?”
Nero smiled and rubbed the bath mitt over Ceph’s long and stringy hair. Ceph was completely covered in little white bubbles, but his red hair was breaking through the white like blood on snow. I didn’t know whether it was his pale skin contrasting it, or perhaps the brightness of the bathroom lights, but Ceph just seemed unworldly to me, glowing and angelic even. He may be a ghost of pale skin, trembling hands, and a worn-out face, but there was something bright inside of him, inside of those green eyes and that luminous auburn hair that told whatever spirit harvester in the room that they could not claim this soul quite yet.
I picked up the second bath mitt. With Ceph looking at Nero, though with more than a dash of weary confusion on his face, I started scrubbing the dirt, sweat, and whatever else from his body. Kiki asked to help soon after, and together we spent the next half an hour cleaning Ceph to our specific standards. Kiki was Nero’s sengil-cicaro and used to washing the greywaste ash, blood, mud, and sweat off of his body and I was as well, but thirty years of sweat and grime was a challenge; and oh did he ever need a shave.
After we were done, Nero rose out of the tub, dried himself off, and changed into cl
othing, he then came back and helped Ceph out too. Ceph, seeing the apartment for the first time in decades, continued to look around in awe, every once in a while mumbling and shaking his head like he was expecting to wake from this dream he had stumbled into.
But this was no dream, and I wondered if Nero had really grasped that yet.
We dressed Ceph in a robe and sat him down in the kitchen. I pulled up a chair in front of him with a plate of food on my lap and watched Nero, now standing behind him, start to snip away his shoulder length stringy hair.
“Do you remember what happened in this very kitchen over fifty years ago?” Nero said with an amused smirk, the scissors snipping away with movements made by a talented hand. Nero was the first one to cut my hair when I had arrived here; he was quite a talented hairdresser.
“I remember…” Ceph said in his deep but scratchy voice. His mossy green eyes found mine and he tried to wink. Oh dear, did that man look weak. I handed him two potato wedges and tried not to smile when he missed his mouth with them, hitting his cheek instead. His hand and eye coordination was horrible; I hadn’t even thought of that.
Ceph managed to reach his mouth this time, but before he took a bite out of the potato wedge, he smiled at me. “I remember… it was a cake, wasn’t it? You – you were trying to eat an entire fucking cake yourself.”
Nero laughed but my cheeks only reddened. I was quite the mess back then. “Yes, I hope I gave you some amusing memories, dear brother. I remember that time in my life a little too clearly.”
“How many new ones do we have, Nuuky?” Ceph asked. He took a small bite of the potato before the entire wedge disappeared into his mouth. It didn’t seem to take him long to remember how good food was. Ceph, like all brute chimeras, had enjoyed eating immensely.
“Oh, fuck… dozens,” Nero said with a laugh. “You’ve missed a fucking lot, puppy pants, but I’ll fill you in once we get home.”
“And do we know where home is?” I asked him. I hated to address the elephant in the room but I wanted to know what Nero’s plans were. I think it was a way for my mind to make up for my own personal lack of plans – I really didn’t know what I was going to do after they left. All of my concentration had been on breaking Nero and Ceph out of their prisons. Nothing else had mattered when I’d heard that Nero had been encased. Everything had been put on hold… Elish’s plans, my plans for me and Jack…