by Quil Carter
What about you though…? I wanted to ask what was wrong, but I couldn’t.
I knew it was something though.
“I love you,” I whispered to him through my heavy breathing, and I smiled when I felt his lips kiss my cheek again.
“I love you more,” Reaver said back. I snorted when he pinched my nose playfully.
Well, at least he didn’t seem upset… it would’ve been a lot worse if he was angry and frustrated. Maybe he was just tired?
There were a thousand explanations in my mind as to why our first time being intimate had gone the way it had, but none of them made sense when applied to Reaver. Reaver was complex and difficult to understand enough as it was, when applied to something like sex he was near impossible to read. I had realized that fact when I’d found out he was a chimera, because chimeras were sex-crazed for the most part, and thirsty for it… but my Reaver had always hated sex and intimacy, before me anyway.
I sighed and snuggled closer to him. If it happened again we would have a talk about it, but as of now… I think I’d pick my battles and, well, not borrow trouble.
I was here with him and safe, and that was good enough.
That night I found myself waking up. I opened my eyes to darkness but immediately I felt an icy snake slither down my spine and curl inside of my stomach. I realized, as I stared out into nothing, that something had woken me up. But what was it? If there was something outside or in the house, Reaver would’ve known long before I did.
My brow knitted and I slowed my breathing to try and catch what it was. I taxed my ears so hard static started to fill them.
Then I heard it… a groan.
No, not a groan – a strained cry.
I don’t know which emotion hit me first: shock or fear. Because that sound was coming from Reaver.
Then another one, and the shifting of sheets. I squinted, and as my eyes adjusted to the night, I saw Reaver’s pale face, his eyes shut tight, grabbing my pillow with a tight grip, and I watched him let out another cry through tightly-clenched teeth.
Oh, my god – Reaver… he was having a night terror, like I used to have.
But why?
In the muted silence I could feel my heart hammering against my chest, beating on my rib cage like it was trying to bust out to see what was wrong with the man it belonged to. And that cold snake slithering up and down my spine was multiplying, and those eggs of unease were hatching quickly. There was something about seeing my boyfriend in this vulnerable state that was absolutely horrifying. I had never seen my Reaver vulnerable like this, and I didn’t understand why it was happening.
However, as I stared at him a new thought entered my head.
What if this was connected to what had happened with him earlier? Or more… what hadn’t happened.
Reaver let out a grunt and twisted around, his face tight and scowling. When I was having night terrors my expression was that of pain and fear; his seemed like… naked anger for lack of a better word. He looked furious but also trapped. Even during what he’d see as a weak state, he didn’t look weak… he just looked desperate and fearful.
What had happened to my baby when we had been separated?
The thought made my heart jump into my throat, and to my own surprise I didn’t feel the tears come to my eyes, I didn’t feel my heart break from empathy – I realized, and it was shocking to even feel it, that I was… I was angry.
My lower lip stiffened and so did my fists. As I stared down at my boyfriend, wave after wave of rage swept through me. We hadn’t talked about what had happened to us while we were apart but I realized in that moment something had happened to my Reaver, and something bad.
I will kill whoever hurt him. I will murder whoever had damaged my boyfriend, immortal or not.
I lowered my hand and placed it on the side of Reaver’s face. I stroked his cold, prickly skin and made soothing noises.
“G-get…”
I froze as Reaver attempted to speak. “Get…”
Slowly I retracted my hand but as I did Reaver’s eyes snapped open.
“Fuck off, asshole!” Reaver screamed as he jerked his head away from me and started desperately trying to get away. He looked around, the whites of his eyes glowing in the darkness.
“Reaver. Baby… baby, it’s me,” I said to him quickly as he shifted away from me. But it was too late. Poor Reaver in his delirious state kicked himself backwards until he fell off of the bed right on his back. I saw him flip over and land on his stomach.
“Baby!” I cried. I jumped off of the bed as Reaver tried to scramble to his feet.
“Get the fuck away, Kiki. I’ll fucking rip your fucking face open again!” Reaver snarled. He stumbled sideways, unable to keep his balance, and crashed into our dresser. He grabbed onto the side but ended up sliding down to the floor; his chest heaving and his eyes flickering around wildly.
Who was Kiki? The question burned in my mouth like fire but I swallowed it and kneeled down in front of Reaver. I put my hand on either side of his face and made him look at me.
“Reaver. It’s Killian. Baby, it’s okay. Wake up,” I said to him gently. I was saying to him exactly what he would say to me when I was having a night terror. I couldn’t believe I was the one doing this. “It’s Killian. It’s Killi Cat. See? Look at me.”
Reaver’s flickering black eyes finally focused on me. My heart broke when I saw intense relief on his face. Then he looked at his hands and held them up like he was searching for something.
“Killian?” Reaver said. He put his left hand to my face and felt it, like he was expecting me to be a hallucination. He felt my face for a moment, before he lightly put his hand against my heart.
“I’m right here,” I said, letting him listen to my heartbeat. “Come back to bed.”
I was so worried his senses would come to him and he’d get up and leave, making excuses that he had to go patrol or something, but… but he looked really out of it. I had never seen this happen to him before.
I stood up and Reaver let me help him stand. While I walked him back to the bed he looked around the room, half-asleep and in a daze, and his lower lip tightened. Then he got back into bed and I laid down beside him. Throwing caution to the wind, I put an arm around Reaver and drew him close to me.
I… I was the one holding him. Reaver was letting me hold him.
Another fresh wave of anxiety and dread claimed me as I kissed his forehead. Reaver’s glassy and unfocused eyes were trying to take in the room, but I could tell he was falling back asleep. This was something so strange, so out of character; my hands started to tremble.
Something had happened to Reaver – something had rattled him and nothing rattles my baby.
I sniffed and shut my eyes tight, deciding in that moment I wouldn’t cry over this, ever. Instead I searched myself and found the anger I had felt previously; I fostered it inside of my heart and fed it with my hatred for whoever had hurt this immortal god, the pillar of strength that was my boyfriend.
And as my mind wandered, it took me to my time with Perish; the last moments before he walked into that metal-plated room and closed the door as I cried.
Although it was a strange thing to think about now, I knew why my mind had taken me to that memory.
Because it wanted me to remember what Perish had told me; the strange instructions that he’d whispered in my ear.
I looked down at my boyfriend, his eyes closed and his face tense and stressed. My Reaper, my demigod, the strongest man I knew, who would move heaven and earth for me. Who had searched for me for hundreds of miles and had found me; who had taken care of me even though I was weak, and had never loved me less even though I didn’t deserve a man like him.
Reaver had never judged me for being weak, and he had loved me all the same. And I would repay his patience and love by being the strong one when he was battling his own demons.
I wouldn’t judge him for a second, and I wouldn’t see him as less of a god for what he had sh
own me today. I would fight whatever demons he had and I would kill the person who had done this to him.
My teeth pressed together so hard inside of my mouth that they squeaked. And as I stared down at my sleeping boyfriend, I felt such an overwhelming amount of rage I had to remove my hand that was stroking his hair. I could only stare at him, my entire body shaking.
And I realized it wasn’t really rage I was feeling – it was love. It was a love that was so intense I felt like setting the entire world on fire just to show everyone how much I loved this man. The realization I was feeling was jarring and frightening; I felt so protective of him I wanted to run out of here and kill the people who had hurt him.
Then I smiled.
Yes, I smiled.
I reached my hand down and once again petted Reaver’s hair back, before giving it a gentle pat.
Because this vow, born from this intense and frighteningly powerful love I was feeling, would be one that I’d be able to keep. I would be able to kill the people who had done this to my Reaver, my Reaper, the black-eyed demon who held my heart.
Mortal or immortal.
‘In about ten minutes it will all be over,’ Perish’s voice echoed inside of my head ‘Now listen carefully, Killian… this is what you need to do after the light fades…’
Because I held in my mind the knowledge that was mine and mine alone. A small but vital last instruction that Perish had whispered into my ear before the door of that chamber had closed on his tear-stained, yet smiling, face.
Yes.
I, Killian Massey…
… knew how to kill immortals.
Chapter 6
Sanguine
I slowly stroked back Drake’s blond curls and beamed down at him when he gave me a sunny and cheerful grin. I always loved that boy’s smile, and there wasn’t a single chimera in our family that didn’t feel a warmth come to their heart when Drake gave them a smile.
It was late afternoon, two days after I had sent Nero, Ceph, and Kiki off to the plaguelands. After coming upon the dilemma of how to get them there, I had been the one to fly them out into the radiation-flooded lands beyond our greywastes, and had returned in the early morning with everyone being none the wiser.
So here I was today, and though I was laying on the daybed of the sitting room with Drake’s head on my lap, seemingly enjoying the warm sun beaming through the crystal clear windows, my mind was nothing but a thousand sores that kept bursting with every dark thought that entered my head. There was no clear window that I was looking through inside of my mind’s eye, it was as grey as the greywastes and as infected as the plaguelands.
“Soon we’ll be able to take the day bed out onto the patio,” Drake said, his orange eyes shining and excited. “I love napping on the day bed outside.”
“Mmhm,” I said, wrapping a fragrant golden curl around my finger before giving his scalp a scratch. “We have many pictures of you sleeping on that bed outside. You look so adorable when you sleep, though not as adorable when you’re dead.” I tugged on the lock of hair I had been playing with. “You’ve been bad. You’re almost sixty, why haven’t you learned to eat slowly?”
Drake pouted at me and stuck out his lower lip. “I just wanted to show Big Shot a good time. I really enjoy him, he has troubles with thinking like I do, and he doesn’t get mad at me like the others sometime do.” Drake shifted up until he was lying beside me and put an arm around my chest. “Like Master Silas, he’s been so mean. When is he coming back though? I miss him. That’s sad we weren’t allowed to kill Reno, even after he said we might be able to, but I also like Reno. Reno has a nice dick.”
I stifled down a laugh and let Drake snuggle into me. “Master Silas will be back soon…” My cheeks puffed as I let out a breath, and I stared out the window. Even the thought, the knowledge that I was going to have to get them soon, sent anxiety through my already sore stomach.
My sleep last night had been rough. Only when Drake had woken up and crawled into bed with me had I been able to go back to sleep, and only then because he had his arms around me and I didn’t want to disturb him. It was too bad the cicaro wasn’t able to keep my own mind from racing and travelling. There were so many little beehives inside of my mind, and the more I wandered around in my subconscious, the more of them I disturbed.
At least Nero and the other two were safe, and the concrete tomb of the mysterious man in place and his plucked out hair picked up. I had that going for me at least. I kept telling myself that over and over but it seemed like the equivalent to bailing out a single bucket of water on a ship rapidly sinking.
I sighed, and decided my own thoughts couldn’t stay contained inside of my head. “I’m worried, Drake. Silas is going to be angry at me when he returns. I disobeyed him and I’m… in trouble.”
Drake was quiet for a moment, when he spoke his voice was small. “I don’t want him to punish you. I love you; I don’t want you to go away.”
His words pulled my heart but even still they further contaminated the open blisters in my brain. He brought a reality with his words that I think I had been trying to ignore – or at least remain in denial over.
“I don’t want to go away either, lovely,” I said to him. Then I sighed. “I might as well tell you since Silas will find out anyway. I freed Nero and I freed Ceph a couple nights ago. They’re gone far away with Kiki and will stay far away until it’s safe.” I heard Drake gasp but I carried on. “I know it was wrong and I know Silas is going to torture me for it… but I couldn’t leave him in there to rot. And it was time for Ceph to taste the outside air… it seems time for a lot of things actually.”
“Y-you disobeyed King Silas?” Drake’s voice suddenly rose. He pulled away from me and I looked to see pain in his eyes. “Why? You can’t disobey him! He’s…” Drake’s face dissolved and he threw his arms back around me. “He’s going to make you plead and cry, isn’t he? He’s going to hurt you and make you scream. I don’t like hearing that. I don’t like hearing that from you, just the others, but not you. You–” I shushed him and drew his head to my shoulder, the pull on my heart was now dragging me down it had become an anchor. I had to close my eyes for a moment to gather myself. I hated how much his fear triggered my own.
“I’m trying to think of something, little fox,” I whispered to him. “Something to make him not hate me. If I could just… if he wasn’t so miserable right now… this would be easier.”
Drake sniffed; I could feel the wetness from his tears. Such a caring man our Drakey was. “What would make him happy?”
“Love,” I whispered to him. I started tenderly stroking his hair again. “For him to find someone to love, like Nero found Ceph, like Elish found Jade, Garrett and Reno, Apollo and Jiro…”
“You and Jack?”
I ignored the jolt that his comment sent to my aching heart and nodded. “If I could find someone for him none of us would have to worry… and we could be happy. But unfortunately… I don’t think he has anyone.”
“Not even Reaver?”
I shook my head. “No, love. I don’t believe Reaver will ever love Silas. Reaver has his own boy he loves and he will love him until the end of time. Reaver was looking for that boy when I saw him, and even if he doesn’t find Killian I believe he will wait for him.”
“Like Nero waited for Ceph?”
“That’s right…” I said. “That’s true love right there.”
“I’ll find someone for Silas to love,” Drake said as he looked up from my neck. His face was red and his eyes were puffy from his tears. “I’ll look all around Skyland and even Eros if I have to. I’ll find someone who will love Silas and then he won’t hurt you, and he won’t hurt Nero.”
Such a sweet little creature. I smiled at him and gently wiped the tears from his flushed cheeks. “I bet you will, little fox.” Unfortunately it wasn’t that easy. It would be grand if I could go out and find a cute boy for Silas to love, but the fact of the matter was that I was facing extreme consequences, for n
ot only freeing Nero and Ceph… but that mysterious immortal as well.
I dearly wanted to know just who he was.
For a moment I was quiet, then an idea came to me. It may not help my predicament, but it could shed some light on that glaring mystery – and perhaps distract me from my maddening thoughts. “How would you like to invite Elliot over for a sleepover? And see if Luca and Juni want to come as well? Perhaps Lance and Todd too? You can have a fun night together while I do some work in Silas’s bedroom.” Or rather… Silas’s laptop.
Drake’s face lit up and radiated happiness and excitement. “Party with the sengils? I would love that! We can order food, dessert, and movies… we can have sex after. All of us! And I would be the leader, wouldn’t I?” Drake grinned and started jumping up and down, and his hands began clapping together. “You’re king… can I have drugs? Please!” Drake got down on his knees and clasped his hands together, begging me. Silly thing. “Please, please, please can I have some drugs!? Some ecstasy or some cocaine!? Oh please!”
I gave an annoyed grunt and shook my head, then I threw my hands up in the air in defeat. “Alright, as long as you promise not to disturb me when I’m in my room, or Silas’s room. Promise? You can have all those things and all the sex you want but no matter how high you get or how great of an idea you think it is: you mustn’t disturb me.”
Drake nodded his head rapidly, and bounced himself into circles. “Promise! Okay, I’m going to go call them. I’ll tell them the king demands they come over so then Artemis and Apollo can’t say no! And since Master Elish is gone and Master Jack, Luca and Juni can definitely come too!” Then the cicaro ran off into the living room and picked up the phone that was resting on the wall.
I smiled thinly as I watched him go. It looked like I had a long night ahead of me then, and I would take advantage of this rare opportunity. Silas gaurded that laptop and he never let anyone on it. It held many secrets, and hopefully, it could provide me with some answers.