by Jack Parker
"Will you come work for me?" She asked gently as she wiped my tears again. I closed my eyes, unable to look at her hopeful face any longer, and nodded.
"Perfect." Luci whispered and then turned my head again and secured the gauze over the wounds.
"Are you sure you are ready for my dad?" I asked again, needing her to understand exactly what she had signed herself up for. She studied my serious eyes for a moment, her expression pensive, pondering.
"I'm moody," she confided suddenly, and my mind scrambled to find bearing with the emotional whiplash that was Luci Pravitas' thoughts. "At times, I believe I am positively atrocious, but if you can forgive me that, I will not hold you responsible for any transgressions of your father. He is to be blamed for his actions and should be held accountable, not his daughter." The conviction in her statement surprised me, and I again wondered what had happened to this calm, even-tempered woman to make her so wildly passionate about my abusive father. I stared at the amazing creature next to me. Her moods indeed cycled faster than a blender, but I found it as refreshing and real as I had confusing and disconcerting.
"What is it?" She asked, watching the different emotions dance in my eyes.
"You're just so completely different than anyone I've ever met." And I'm sorry that you are going to get hurt again. I finished the thought silently as tears slid from my eyes again.
"As are you, Darling." She waited patiently for any further comment or question, but I had none. I gazed down the length of her long legs as she unfolded them. A joint popped, and she winced for a brief moment before her face relaxed again.
"Enjoy your youth," she instructed as she pushed her chair back to its spot. "When you've become my age, every sprained ankle or pulled muscle will constantly remind you of your own mortality." She seemed to be speaking almost to herself as she collected used gauze and the paper wrappers that had kept it sterile.
My triumph at finally wiggling into Luci's mind died before I'd had the chance to properly enjoy it. She trusted me a bit, but I realized then that I didn't trust myself. My brokenness granted me the power to manipulate and control her on some level, and maybe that was the only difference between men and women. My sexuality generally turned men around and left them powerless, but a woman needed to see my ugliness, longed to be needed so desperately that a few cuts and bruises and a sad story earned me a job offer and the promise of protection. My stomach lurched as I watched her move about the room because I knew that if I used this knowledge against Luci, destroyed her like so many others, then everything I believed about myself would be true. If I hurt her that way after knowing how broken and fragile she was, there would be nothing left in me worth saving. My awareness of that fact sparked hope in my chest. Maybe Luci and I could save each other after all.
"Luci, would you like to see the most beautiful place in West Virginia?" I asked suddenly, energized by my new train of thought. Her eyes turned skeptical at the abrupt question.
"Only if you promise me that you will rest afterwards," she conceded with a smirk, clearly surprised and amused by my resilient if erratic behavior.
"Deal," I agreed and pushed my body out of the chair. Luci took a deep breath and followed me out the door. I grabbed her car keys from the hook in the great hall and tossed them to her. She caught them without slowing her steps and held the heavy front door open for me.
"Which way?" She asked once we'd settled into the car.
"It's about half a mile towards town." Her mouth quirked up on one side, and I swore I saw a glint of excitement in her eyes as she pulled out of her driveway.
"Pull off to the side here," I directed a minute later, and she obeyed. I'd never brought anyone to this spot before. I'm not sure anyone else even knew it existed, but I wanted to share it with her. Luci earned this glimpse into my life, and perhaps once I'd departed with a portion of her money in hand, she may have found comfort like I always had.
My growing excitement made me nearly jump from the car before it had stopped moving. Luci rounded the front quickly, amusement on her face, like a mother who was grinning fondly at her child's excitement over their first visit to the zoo. She wobbled a bit as her black heels tried to find steady ground on the gravel, sticky shell and red clay of the road. She waved her hand in dismissal when she caught my glance at her feet.
"I will prevail," she assured as she grasped my shoulder to steady herself.
"We don't have to. It's not worth you falling and breaking your neck over." I meant the words but could not stop the disappointment that dropped into my gut at the thought of turning back now, not after I had opened up 'my spot' to her.
"Nonsense. I will be perfectly safe," her mouth quirked into that sensuously mischievous smirk that I had come to recognize as the only indication of happiness Luci displayed, not a smile or a laugh, almost as if so much time had passed since she'd experienced joy that she had to retrain her body how to express it properly.
"Alright then. Hold on so you don't fall," I offered her my hand, not sure which of us needed help more, her heeled feet or my concussed head.
What should have been a 5 minute walk dragged on forever as Luci struggled to find solid ground through the moss and leaves, and the anticipation of sharing the beauty of the small cove I'd discovered a few years ago built unbearably in my chest. She held tightly to my hand as she stepped over another fallen tree limb, and I laughed when her free arm flailed wildly at the loss of balance. Luci shook her head at the situation; any sane person would have turned back by now, but Luci seemed more determined with each obstacle of the untamed forest floor.
"Not much further. Just past that Laurel thicket there, just after the Rhododendron bush," I explained, pointing towards the stream.
Luci blew a strand of hair from her face and slapped at her neck with her free right hand, presumably at a bug. Her face glistened with the exertion. "I do swear that I am a perfectly fit female specimen. I simply have never trekked through the forest in stilettos before this afternoon." She defended herself breathily, her English accent slipping in and out in the unguarded moment.
I only nodded and pulled her forward. The last 30 feet went by much more quickly, and my excitement built all over again. I led her around the thick wall of laurel and stopped when the stream came into view. Luci stared for a moment before taking a step forward, eyes scanning the little cove in wonder.
She studied each aspect carefully, and I studied her, imagining each portion of my hidden solace as her eyes landed on it. The small cave-like rock fixture at the back of the round water hole intrigued her, made her wonder what lay just beyond the opening. The assortment of wild flowers and Rhododendron bushes in full bloom that lined the bank across the river to the left of the cave softened her eyes, nostalgia perhaps. She licked her lips when her eyes moved to the small sand and pebble beach below the hill in front of us that allowed access to the clear water of the untainted river. Finally, her eyes made their way to me, and I fought the urge to giggle at her delight, thrilled that she shared my opinion of the hidden oasis.
"Like it?" I asked needlessly. I watched the approval dance in her eyes.
"Oh, Darling, it's beautiful!" she exclaimed and returned her eyes to scene before us.
My cheeks burned at her term of endearment and her excitement. The glow subsided, however, when I remembered why I'd brought her here in the first place. My jaw clenched involuntarily against the disgust I felt with myself, and I masochistically forced myself to watch the delight of the stunning woman before me. Her fair hair shone when she stepped through small beams of sunlight peeping through the Oak and Sycamore leaf canopy above us. A few strands floated around her face, slightly frizzed in the humidity during the walk here. The light in her eyes when she turned to face me wiped the disgust away completely, however, and I felt a smile spread slowly on my lips and cheeks. It didn't compare to Luci's. Not even the serenity of my secret spot held a candle to the brilliant smile that trickled from Luci's eyes and bade her mouth upwards. Straig
ht white teeth had never been more stunning than in this moment.
She surprised me further when she shrugged out of her blazer and tossed it onto the moist ground. Her long legs folded beneath her, and she fell backwards into the grass, smile never leaving those full pink lips. Her eyes slipped shut as she palmed the grass, making a grass angel. I watched, memorizing her face, the transformation. During the six weeks of carefully planned dinner meetings, I learned how incredibly guarded and lonely she was, so to see the burden lifted from her eyes, to witness the simple emotion of spontaneous joy in her eyes, soothed my soul. Her face seemed younger, though the slight lines around her mouth and eyes appeared in her relaxed state, now that every muscle in her wasn't tensed. They were beautiful. Luci had only grown more beautiful with age.
"Come sit with me?" She patted the grass to her left, and my body complied immediately.
Her eyes slipped shut again, so I took the opportunity to study her more closely. Her white button-up shirt puffed out slightly at the shoulders and stopped an inch or two down her arm. My breath caught at the back of my throat when I finally noticed that the three scars on her wrist trailed all the way to her shoulder. My fingers reached out to touch one, but a sharp sting on my forearm thwarted my effort as Luci snatched my hand away from her skin.
"I'm sorry." My eyes widened in shock. She loosened her fingers but did not release my arm.
"Lauren, please don't touch my scars," she commanded gently, her tone apologizing for startling me.
"I'm sorry. I really don't think sometimes before I do things," I explained. Luci responded by releasing my arm.
I fell back onto the grass beside her, immediately regretting the action when my head swirled and pounded with the sudden movement. I squeezed my eyes shut, willing the pain to go away, and folded my arms behind my head. The river gently murmured against the banks, and I allowed it to soothe my conflicting thoughts. I cared for Luci, but I realized that I'd only damage her further if I stayed. The best and least painful course of action remained my initial plan. I'd discovered Luci's soft spot, and now all that remained was the perfect exploitation to obtain the funds needed to get me as far from this place as I could run. She understood my desperate need to escape, and I hoped that perhaps she wouldn't hold that against me too long after I disappeared into the night. It was better this way. I'd never live with myself if my father did something crazy to her, like burned down her mansion. She'd be devastated. I felt awkward in her silence once more.
"So, you're staff finally came?" She hummed. Her eyes opened as her head lolled towards me, studying my face. Her searching eyes shocked my heart into a frenzied tempo. Every time those knowing eyes were upon me, I felt naked, my soul exposed and analyzed, but she never commented on what she found there.
"This morning, actually. I felt terribly incomplete without them. I suppose the lesson here is to never take the people in your life for granted because you never know how their absence will affect you." She smiled. "They are so much more than my employees; they're my family as wayward and untraditional that may be."
"Blood kin isn't always good for a person." I agreed and stood. "I need to call and let Barb know that I won't be coming back." I could no longer justify my manipulation of this woman. It was wrong, but I felt it was necessary and would see it through. I could only do it, though, if she stopped prattling on about her employees becoming her family. I'd never be her family. How could she love me once she discovered the evil inside of me?
"Of course." She sat up and took another look around the little cove. It was truly magnificent.
The return to the car wasn't as painful as the trip to the cove at least not physically. My guilt continued to grow with each passing second, and I questioned my ability to actually hurt Luci and her staff. If David had been any indication of what awaited me, they were friendly and kindhearted, much like Luci. I wavered when pushed myself out of the passenger seat, more from my thoughts than my injuries, and Luci appeared at my side, a secure grip on my arm. I jerked away from her warmth, and she took a step back. I refused to meet her eyes, knowing they would be full of confusion and concern, as I steadied myself against her car. Wordlessly, I stepped towards the front doors, and Luci followed.
"Lauren, would you like me to call Barb for you, just to inform her that you need a few days of rest? When you are feeling better, I will gladly drive you into town so that you may speak with her in person." I nodded my response.
"Mattison hadn't the time to prepare any guest rooms yet, but if you wish to lie down, you may use my bedchamber." The antiquated word sounded so natural in that silky blue voice that belonged to the elegant woman. I nodded again.
"Up the stairs, second door on the left. I'll retrieve you for dinner if you'd like." I nodded. "Are you certain you shall be fine on your own?" I nodded. Why wasn't my voice working?
"Very well. I shall see you for dinner. I'll have Mattison bring you some spare clothing until we can collect yours." Luci nodded once and then strode towards her study. Her long legs ate the distance in only a few seconds, and I watched her disappear into the large office and then sighed as I stared up the giant staircase.
I wanted it to feel good again, that power I so desperately craved, but it didn't, not when Luci selflessly invited me into her home, gave me her own bed to sleep in and her heartfelt promise of protection. Maybe I didn't have to deceive her. Perhaps if I earned the money honestly and then departed with a proper good-bye, I'd spare her and still escape. How long would that take? Would my father sit idly by and watch as I grew more independent with each passing day, or would he assault Luci until she turned me over to him in order to deflect his wrath? Of course, he would try everything in his power to regain his control. No, I refused to put her in that situation. In order to save her, I must deceive her. This option meant less pain for her. Even if it tore me apart inside, I must hate her to spare her that suffering.
CHAPTER 7
I awoke the next morning surrounded by the scent of Luci and old wood. It was the most glorious aroma I'd ever inhaled, like sensuality and safety crafted into one combined forced meant just for me. I wasn't disoriented or confused by the strange and foreign environment; I knew exactly where I was and I knew that I belonged here. I squinted into the sunlight filtering through the massive windows to the left of the bed and followed the tiny particles of dust debris as they floated through the golden portal into their normally invisible world. The gold hue accentuated the elegance of the space perfectly.
Though large and lavish in decoration, it lacked personal touches one expected in a private bedroom. The bed frame was a dark wood with intricate carvings, eagles or falcons standing guard at either corner at the foot. The headboard was curved slightly and depicted the same raptor in the center with swirls and lines of connecting artistry spanning either side of the majestic creature. An Oriental rug of deep blues and burgundy protected the floor beneath her small desk and low-backed wooden chair that sat directly in front of the big windows. A neat pile of folded clothes sat atop the small nightstand to the right side of the bed beside a silver alarm clock with a face rather than digital numbers and two small domes on the top that vibrated when the alarm sounded. It was old, like everything else in the room, save me and the clothes.
Everything spoke of beauty and elegance, much like Luci herself, but no pictures littered the desk or walls, no unkempt clothing in a pile near the closet. Nothing indicated this room was more than the resting place for which it had been designed, convenient and practical rather than personal. I ignored the wariness of my observation and dangled my feet over the edge of the bed. The clothes on the nightstand were obviously not Luci's. The light green shirt was brighter than any other color I'd seen her wear and dark denim too casual to befit her elegant style. They belonged to Mattison and were meant for me. Why hadn't Luci woken me for dinner last night?
My thoughts drifted to my father and Barb as I quickly changed clothes, marveling again at the near perfect match in size. Th
ose who knew me would have giggled to see me in such crisp clothes, would never have understood how different I felt in them despite the fact they were so similar to what I normally wore. The green shirt was softer than any of my shirts, and the tag told me that it was 100% cotton. I made a mental note to replace all of my shirts with the same fabric so that I felt the smooth, breathable sensation everyday when I put on a fresh shirt. The jeans were clean with no holes or stains, as were the socks, and I felt dirty when I slipped into my cheap and worn sneakers. My clothing rarely caused me stress throughout my life. As long as they functioned as intended, I never thought much about style or age. I sighed and pushed away from the bed; the shoes would have to wait.
I glanced around the room, disconcerted when I found no mirror. I opened the door perpendicular to the bed first and found Luci's closet, full to the brim with long-sleeved button-up dress shirts, slacks, skirts and dresses. Most were muted colors, a few bright reds here and there. The fabric transformed beneath my fingertips as I touched every article from one side to the other; silk and polyester and rayon danced against my skin like the differing tones of Luci's silky voice, and a grin pulled my mouth upwards at the thought. I turned from the closet and spotted another door in the corner of the room just past the windows.
Behind that door, I found a large bathroom complete with a corner shower and a claw foot tub. The heather gray tile and shiny white plumbing appliances were obviously new but designed for antiquity, except perhaps the tub. The polished brass feet and chipped porcelain indicated it had been cleaned and restored rather than replaced. I pulled the unfamiliar, high-end bottle of shampoo from the edge of the tub and sniffed. The scent was that earthy tone that clung to Luci, minus the chemistry of her natural musk. It was nice, but failed to infect me like the combination of the two. I replaced the bottle and finally forced myself to look at the mirror above the sink.