by Barbara Goss
“Your words are comforting, but please try to understand. I feel as though God has forsaken me. Maybe I just need time. You made me feel so much better yesterday,” she added.
“I did?”
“Very much so. Especially when you talked about weeds and flowers. Pa always called me his little flower.” She smiled, remembering. “And Phillip used to tease by saying, ‘Ya mean weed, don’t ya, Pa?’ “
Luke laughed. “Sounds familiar. I have four brothers and four sisters—well, three now,” he saddened as he corrected himself.
“I’m sorry. Was it a sister, then, whom you spoke of yesterday when you said you’d recently lost a loved one, too?”
He nodded.
Amanda wished she could feel sympathy for this young man and his recent loss, but he’d only lost one sister. She’d lost her whole family
They talked lightly as they finished their meal. She cleared away the food and put things away, while Luke prepared for driving again
As she began to step down from the wagon, she hesitated at the sound of voices. It was Luke and Captain Larsen.
“No. Today only. Tomorrow she either leaves the train or goes vith another family. I can’t spare you. Griff is complaining about scouting alone, vith Indians starting to show up. I hired you as a scout, remember?” Larsen’s voice was shrill with anger.
“I know, but I may need more time. I’m having trouble finding a family for her.”
“Vhy is that?” Larsen demanded.
“Two reasons. First, some are afraid she might carry cholera to their families. Then, you won’t believe this, some of the women don’t want her because she is too attractive. They are worried about their husbands and sons, well, you know…”
Amanda couldn’t believe her ears! Too attractive? Me? She looked down at her slim figure clothed in a blue-and-white gingham dress and blue apron. She’d thought herself plain. Touching her head, she felt her long, thick, almost black hair, stuffed recklessly inside her blue bonnet. A mess. Who would think me attractive?
The only part of herself she knew to be truly attractive were her eyes. Like her mother’s, they were emerald green, almond shaped, and trimmed with thick, dark lashes.
Amanda strained to hear more but only heard Larsen repeat as he stormed away, “Only for today you drive her vagon.” Amanda buried her face with her hands. Her head throbbed. She had but one day to find a family to take her in, and from what she’d just heard, her chances were slim.
To bum off frustration, Amanda walked the whole afternoon, trying to think of what she should do. Use what money Pa had left her and return to Ohio? Stay at the nearest town and begin a new life? Wire Aunt Hattie in San Francisco? Give up or fight is what it amounted to. She recalled Pa’s excitement the day he came home and announced his plans to sell everything and go west. “Opportunity of a lifetime,” he’d ranted. Amanda kicked a large pebble from her path and decided to fight. She’d make it to California and Aunt Hattie, if it took her whole lifetime to do it.
At dusk they made camp, still along the Platte River, at a place called Courthouse Rock. Luke disappeared to help the men settle the animals for the night, leaving Amanda alone to cook her own supper.
How she dreaded dragging out food, dishes, and cookware just for herself. Even building a fire for one person seemed a waste. She decided on dried apples and bread again. This time she added some hard cheese that Mama had wrapped tightly and packed at the very bottom of the food barrel. She scraped the mold from the top and found it tastier than when she and Mama had first made it.
As she put the few things away she smelled the food of the nearby fires, heard laughter, the stories. How she missed her family!
“Miss Barker!” someone yelled, breaking into her thoughts. “Miss Barker!” a male voice sounded again, coming from the rear of the wagon.
Sticking her head out of the oval opening, she was stunned to see a well-dressed man of about thirty standing with hat in hand.
“Yes?” she asked curiously. She started to climb down from the wagon, and his hand shot out to assist her. It felt warm, friendly, and secure.
“I’m Charles Pierce, and I heard you are in need of a family. I am in need of someone to help my mother nurse my sister.”
“You spoke to Luke West?” she asked.
“Who? No. I heard from the Elliotts, who heard of it from the Simpsons.” He laughed, gray eyes twinkling. “Word travels faster than we do, here on the trail!”
About to smile, Amanda caught herself. Careful. What would Mama do next?
“How many in your party, Mr. Pierce?”
“Just myself, my mother, and my sister, who is seriously ill. She needs much care, I’m afraid.”
“Cholera?” She said the word fearfully.
“No,” he blurted quickly, then, “we don’t know; aren’t sure. At least we don’t think ifs cholera.” He looked Amanda up and down appraisingly and added. “You are perfect!”
“I beg your pardon, sir?”
“Er… I mean you look healthy and strong. We need someone who can lift Sis and be available whenever we have need.
Now this man is handsome! Amanda thought. But he dressed too fancily for the wagon train. None of the other men wore neatly pressed trousers with a white shirt starched and pressed. She could also tell from his complexion that he was not an outdoorsman, for his skin lacked the tanned, weathered look of Luke and most of the other men
“I would contribute my wagon and stores to yours,” she said in a businesslike tone, “and work as any family member. Not slave, Mr. Pierce, just do my share. Understood?”
“Perfectly”
“When would you like me to join your group?”
“Tonight. You can continue sleeping in your wagon; we’ll just park it behind ours. I brought a man along to drive my team, so I can drive your wagon, if he’ll teach me,” he laughed.
She’d guessed right. Mr. Pierce was a city gentleman.
While driving a team was not his usual sport, he was willing to learn. She admired that and returned his smile
Amanda was stunned, when introduced to Charles’s mother. A most unusual woman, unlike what she had envisioned a city gentleman’s mother to be, from her dyed red hair to her course, brassy speech. Her dress appeared flashy and bright compared with the other women’s on the train. Yet she seemed friendly, and Amanda was glad to have found a family.
“My daughter’s real sick,” explained Mrs. Pierce. “Don’t reckon it’s too serious; just don’t cotton to travelin’ I guess.”
“It’s not the cholera, is it Mrs. P….” Amanda began.
“Now don’t you ‘Mrs. Pierce’ me!” she laughed. “Makes me feel like a stranger. We’re family now. You just call me ‘Ma.’ “
“M-ma?”
“My real name’s Helen, but everyone calls me ‘Ma.’ No, she doesn’t have the cholera. I’m sure she’ll be right as rain soon as we get to Frisco.”
“What is your daughter’s name?” Amanda thought it strange neither she nor her son had mentioned the poor girl’s name.
“Didn’t Charles tell you?”
“No, he never did say.”
“Louise,” she said after a pause...”Her name is Louise.”
“Will I get to meet her soon?”
“Tomorrow. She’s abed for the night already.”
Amanda shrugged, said good night, and turned toward her wagon, which was now behind the Pierces’.
“Nice meeting you, honey. See you in the morning,” Helen called after her.
As she opened the rear flap to her wagon, Luke strode by and offered his hand. Once inside, she stuck her head out the back and smiled.
“Heard you found a family,” he said flatly.
“Isn’t it wonderful? Now I can stay with the train and keep my wagon, too!” she exclaimed.
“I’m glad you don’t have to leave the train,” he said, not sounding glad at all.
“Is something wrong?” Amanda couldn’t see clearly in
the dark, but she was sure he was squinting.
“Be careful, Amanda. That family is so… strange! Something’s just not right there, but I don’t yet know what it is.”
Strange? Amanda thought, as she curled up in her bedroll. Yes. Luke was right, they were a strange family, but harmless. Why had he sounded so hesitant on her behalf? Why hadn’t he been happy for her? Before she could ask herself anything more, she fell fast asleep.
In the morning, Amanda and Ma worked together on breakfast of pancakes and oatmeal. After they’d eaten, Ma prepared a bowl of oatmeal for Louise.
“C’mon, honey,” she called. “You can help me feed Louise.”
Amanda climbed into the Pierce’s wagon behind Ma. Adjusting her eyes to the darkness of the wagon, it was moments before she made out the figure of Louise. Upon her bedroll, she lay in a fetal position. Amanda moved closer. While her brown hair was snarled and matted from thrashing, Amanda recognized that, despite her illness, Louise was a very handsome woman.
As she approached, Louise looked up at her anxiously with wide, fearful brown eyes.
“Hello, Louise.” Amanda felt the need to whisper.
The young woman stared up at her and began moving her mouth excitedly, but no sounds could be heard. Ma immediately took charge.
“Calm down, Louise. This is Amanda. We’ve adopted her. I can see it’s time for your medicine. Now, now be still,”
Helen Pierce held down Louise’s now thrashing arms. Yet the whole time her eyes never left Amanda’s.
Ma carefully measured a brown liquid into the oatmeal and force-fed the girl.
Amanda watched carefully, lest she be expected to serve the next meal. Something in Louise’s eyes and the way they clung to her own haunted Amanda long after the girl had fallen asleep and she trudged beside her wagon. What had Louise’s desperate look meant? Was Louise not just ill but demented, and were the Pierces too proud to admit it? Something else bothered Amanda. Had the look been a silent cry for help? Perhaps a young, mentally deficient young girl’s frantic, crazed look? Or simply, that of an ill girl under medication? Surely that was it. Perhaps Luke’s warning had fed her imagination. Yet the feeling stayed with her all day.
3
Amanda saw little of Luke except when she went to her wagon each evening before bed. He always seemed to come out of nowhere to exchange a few words and say good night. Charles now drove her wagon, and sometimes, rather than walk, she’d sit beside him.
After a few days of traveling with Charles and Ma, they fell into a congenial pattern. Ma and Amanda took turns feeding Louise and shared all the other duties. Everyone got along, and Amanda began to settle into a pleasant routine. Yet Amanda felt uncomfortable about Louise and her frantic, crazed look. The better she became acquainted with Ma, the more she became suspicious. Not that she didn’t trust Ma; they got along fine, and Amanda liked the woman despite her brashness. She just didn’t fit the part of Charles’s mother. Charles was a city gentleman. Helen was neither a city woman nor a lady.
One evening, after she’d been traveling with the Pierces for a week, Charles walked her back to her wagon.
“Is everything working out to your satisfaction?” he asked. “Are you and Ma getting along?”
“Everything is fine and working far better than I’d expected.” Amanda looked up at him in the moonlight and remarked to herself for the millionth time how handsome he was.
“Ma thinks the world of you,” Charles said. “She agrees that you are perfect for us.”
“Ma is wonderful, but she isn’t your real mother, is she?” Amanda held her breath after impulsively asking such a personal question. Had she any right to ask that? He was hesitating. Would he be angry? Would he answer? She wondered.
“No, of course not.” He half chuckled. “But I feared telling you at the time, because you’d refuse to join us unless we were a proper family. Helen is Ma to everyone,” he said, taking her hand. “So I wasn’t really fibbing, just stretching the truth a bit. Will you forgive me?” he asked charmingly.
“Of course,” she answered, very aware of her hand in his. “I know how endearing Helen can be. But why are you two traveling together? You seem so different, not at all an even match.” As Amanda asked she again feared overstepping her bounds by being too inquisitive. “If you don’t mind my prying,” she amended.
“Not at all. Helen and I are business partners. I run a hotel in San Francisco, and she handles the female employees while I concentrate on the administrative and financial areas.”
“Hotel? How interesting. Are the female workers maids or something?”
“Some, yes. Ah-h, Amanda, I must confess my hotel does a bit of gambling. I’m sure you don’t approve, but it’s very popular there, and business is booming. Some of the girls run the games, some dance and sing, that sort of thing. Are you shocked with us now?” he asked with uncertainty.
“A tavern with dancing girls?” she asked with widened eyes.
“Tavern?” He chuckled. “Absolutely not. My establishment is one of the finest this side of the Mississippi. The hotel is exclusive, with plush carpeting, crystal chandeliers, elegant furniture, and velvety wallpaper from Europe.” He smiled and winked, adding in a whisper, “And the dancers are performers--artists, I assure you, not at all what you think.”
Amanda continued to look at him suspiciously.
He smiled. “I provide good jobs to young women in need, and they love the work they do. Everyone has a good time. You must visit us when we get to Frisco. The hotel name is the Golden Palace.”
“I guess.” Amanda thought out her words carefully. “San Francisco is much different from Springview, Ohio. But why did you come back east?”
“To get Louise. Ma missed her.”
“Will she work at the Golden Palace also?”
“We promised her she could.”
“I hope she feels better soon,” Amanda offered.
“I’m sure it’s just the traveling that doesn’t agree with her.” He squeezed her hand lightly before releasing it. “And speaking of traveling, I have a few other wagons going west up ahead and must ride ahead to check on them. Ma knows how to drive the team, so you shouldn’t miss me much.” He laughed.
“More wagons? But why?” she asked.
“Supplies. There are so many things not available out west. So as long as we were returning with Louise, we decided to bring out more luxuries. This time I brought enough to sell; should turn a nice profit.”
“How far ahead are they?” she asked.
“I have five other wagons, each in a different train. We did that so that if anything happened to one train the others would still get through. On horseback I can catch up with at least two of them.”
“How long will you be gone?”
“Just a few days.”
She looked up at his handsome, smiling face, with the square jaw and even, white teeth, and knew she’d miss him. “Are you sure Ma can handle the team?”
“Sure. She’s a tough one.” He cuffed her chin. “I’ll miss you,” he said quickly, dropping a kiss upon her forehead and disappearing into the night.
Amanda breathed deeply. How did she feel about Charles Pierce? He was handsome, charming, and always left her a bit shaken by his charisma. She leaned her head back against the wagon and relived the brief kiss he’d planted on her forehead. Just brotherly affection? She wondered. Would he really miss her? Would she miss him?
“I don’t think he’s worth that dreamy look,” a familiar voice interrupted her thoughts.
Amanda jumped. “Luke! I didn’t know you were there!” Amanda knew she blushed at Luke’s having caught her mooning over Charles.
“I’m sure you didn’t.” Roughly he dug his knife into a nearby tree.
Amanda felt a bit of anger. “It’s quite rude to eavesdrop, and Charles is a wonderful man.”
“Is that so?”
“Yes. He and Ma have treated me like family.”
Luke continued carving
into the tree as he spoke, but did so with less hostility. “Be careful, Amanda, I don’t trust him.”
“Why?”
“Just don’t.” Luke sheathed his knife. “Tell me about Louise.”
“Why would you be interested in her?”
“Just am,” he insisted. “What does she look like?”
Amanda sighed. “She is about my height, has brown hair and brown eyes, and I discovered today, after combing her hair, that she is very attractive. Are you interested in her personally? She’s quite ill.” Amanda couldn’t resist getting back at him for eavesdropping. “But I’ll introduce you as soon as she’s feeling better.” Luke didn’t take her baiting. He looked disappointed. “What’s wrong, Luke, not your type?”
“Tell me about her illness.” His concern seemed sincere, so Amanda told him all she knew.
He contemplated her story for several moments, then shook his head and said softly, “Please, Amanda, be careful of Pierce. He may not be what he claims to be. Trust me, please.”
Amanda noticed the sincerity in his eyes. “Luke, it’s very thoughtful of you to worry, but l see no reason why Charles Pierce shouldn’t be trusted, or why I should be careful.”
“He’s had a lot of practice charming women. Please heed my warning. Be wary of Ma, too.” He touched her cheek lightly and was gone.
After a hurried breakfast, Charles saddled a horse and rode toward the wagon trains ahead. He blew Amanda a kiss as he trotted off. Amanda would have savored the sign of affection, except that Luke had appeared at that moment with an expression she couldn’t remember ever seeing on Phillip’s face. Was it anger? Fear? Worry? She wasn’t sure, but knew he was upset
Luke mysteriously disappeared for two days. Perhaps he is avoiding me, Amanda thought, but later she overheard Larsen complaining to Griff that he didn’t know where Luke had gone.