My heart leaps from my chest when I turn around and see Marco shut the door behind him. He lifts a crooked index finger to his lips, motioning me to keep quiet as he nears closer to where I’m standing.
This is the exact room we were in when a similar incident occurred almost two years ago. The room was empty then. Vincent had just bought it, so it was before the renovation on the back half, but I will never forget that day or this room. I have an eerie feeling that Marco is thinking the same thing.
“What a surprise to find you back here by yourself, Addy.”
“I was just starting to put away the chairs for Vincent. I had better hurry back for the rest of them before he gets angry.”
“You and I both know that Vincent left.”
I walk forward to the door as I try to make my way around Marco without making eye contact. I don’t get far as he stops me with a firm hand and shoves me down to the ground. I clip my left side on the corner of the table during the fall. The pain is paralyzing. “Do not show fear” I repeat in my head, refusing to look at him as he leans down and crawls over me, roughly pinning me to the cold floor. I try to fight my way out of his grip, but it does no use. I know that there’s no way out of this, so I try to take my mind somewhere far, far away.
Mascara runs down my cheeks from the tears I could no longer hold back. It’s almost like he is prolonging this to torture me. Not that what he’s already done was horrible enough, I just want him to get it over with.
The door swings open bouncing off the wall. I can’t see who it is but know instantly when I hear his voice.
“Marco! What the…”
“Get out of here, Boy!” Marco yells, interrupting Dominic.
The moment his face is in my peripheral vision, I can no longer hold myself together. I break down in hysterics, trying to back away from under Marco. He grabs my ankle, pulling my bare body back across the concrete floor back toward him as I scream.
“I swear I will kill you if you don’t take your hands off of her,” Dominic calmly says to Marco aiming a grey 45 with both hands, right at him. I knew he recently started carrying one. He told me during the last meeting a few months ago that Vincent wanted him armed in case of any emergencies at buying time. He even made me go to the shooting range with him a few times.
Marco laughs as he lifts both hands in the air slowly. “You think you are a man now with that thing do you? What would your daddy say if he knew you were playing with your gun?” he teases.
All it takes is Marco noticing the sympathetic look Dominic shoots me to catch on. He roars with laughter, grabbing his stomach with one hand while the other is still surrendering in the air. “Oooooh, this is great! I get it now,” he howls. “I can’t believe I never saw it before. Oh, Vinny’s going to get a kick out of this…you are in love with little orphan Addy!”
I quickly slip my dress back on as I feel shame sweep over me.
Marco turns to look at me and then back at Dominic with an evil smirk. “Too bad I got the one thing you can never get back.”
A thunderous boom echoes off of the dense walls of the room. Before I can even comprehend what has happened, Marco clutches his chest and falls to the ground. Blood seeps out from under his body as the front of his crisp white shirt turns dark red. The clatter of the shell bouncing down on the concrete is the last sound I hear before everything becomes completely silent. Dominic runs straight to me, falling to his knees as he pulls me into his arms. He begins to weep into my hair as he holds onto me tightly. “I’ll never forgive myself for letting this happen to you.”
My body shudders as I cry harder than I ever have before.
“Shhh,” he attempts to swipe the tears from my cheeks as they flow down my face. “I promise he will never hurt you again. He’s dead.” Dominic picks me up and cradles me into his arms as he walks us out of the empty warehouse to where the Cadillac is waiting right out front. He slides me into the passenger seat and buckles my seat belt. He walks around the front of the car, climbs into the driver’s seat, and starts the engine.
“Adaline,” he says my name softly. I can’t bear to look at him. I feel so dirty and ashamed. The one thing I was so proud to save for my future husband, whether it end up being Dominic or some other man years to come, is now gone. He reaches for my chin, turning my face so that I look at him. “Adaline, we need to get our story straight before Vincent gets home. We’re going to say that we heard a single gunshot while collecting chairs and found Marco dead. We never saw the suspect. Can you do that?”
I shake my head mechanically and look back out my window. He gently cups my face to look back at him.
“Adaline, I still love you. To me, you are still pure. Do you understand?”
I allow only one more tear to escape over what Marco did to me. I shake my head yes, really truly meaning it. From this moment forward, I’ll never look back at this day ever again.
Chapter Eleven
It’s the fifth morning in a row that I’ve woken up in a pool of sweat and tears. It was just a dream. No, it was not a dream, it was real. It really happened, every single horrible detail of it. I pushed that night out of my mind for so many years, refusing to believe it was my reality. Now, every time I close my eyes, I relive every single second of it.
I start my morning as I always do. Shower, dress, and get ready for work just as I would do in my daily robot form. I’m exhausted trying to act like everything is okay. I do it for Benny, though. Isaac has not come into the café all week. I pushed away the only person to ever seem to care about me other than Dominic. I can no longer shake the night after night nightmare and Benny seeing me like this is the last thing I want. I kiss him quietly goodbye once Gloria arrives at my apartment and swiftly make my way out the door without speaking to her. I just can’t talk to anyone today. I’m not sure how I’m going to even be able to work in this condition. I feel as my walls are finally caving in.
Halfway to the café, I decide to take a detour to try to find the cathedral I’d seen last week after leaving Domino Park. The only thing that is going to get me through another day is walking through its doors. I turn off my phone upon entering and throw it into my purse.
I’m not sure how many hours I spent inside. After a very lengthy, overdue confession, I finally make my way out of the building in a daze. Rain is coming down in sheets. Of course it would be, I think to myself. I have a good seven blocks to walk to get back to my apartment, that is, if I can even remember how to get back to it from here.
I walk left down a road I didn’t take to get here, hoping it would be a shortcut back to my street, but I’m wrong. Somehow I’m now lost in what looks to be the worst part of the neighborhood, all while the rain refuses to let up on the downpour. I feel like its God crying along with me over how disappointing this beautiful world he created can be. I pull out my rosary from my purse to take advantage of the long walk I have ahead of me. I can’t be around Benny like this anyway.
The sound of a car slowing beside me catches my attention but I don’t break my concentration. “Vada! What on earth are you doing all the way out here? Everyone has been looking for you,” I hear Isaac’s voice yell. I stop walking just as he stops his car on the side of the street. I look up at him through the opened passenger window, acknowledging him. “Get in the car, now!”
His demand only angers me more, so I begin to walk again, continuing on the bead I’d left off on. I hear a car door slam and moments later Isaac is standing in my way, forcing me to stop walking.
I look up at him through my drenched hair, no longer having the energy to fight. He puts his arm around me, coaxing me to the passenger side of his police cruiser. I shiver from the burst of cold air from the air conditioner once inside.
He slams his door after he climbs in. With his car still idling, I hear him dial on his phone.
“Gloria, I found her. I think she was walking from St. John Bosco. I’m going to drop her off at my place to shower and warm up. She needs a minute to pull hers
elf together before coming back to Benny I think.” He pauses as he listens to her on the other end. “Yeah, that would be a great idea. You need to call Carlos and let him know we found her anyway. Benny loved playing with Luca at your birthday party, I’m sure Marianna would be more than happy to drop him by for the night.” He pauses once again. “Yes, I’m off duty in hour. I’ll update you later once I’m home and let you know how she is.”
Isaac sighs as he puts the car into drive, heading toward him home. “I’ve been following you for a block now. I can’t imagine why you would need to be saying so many Hail Mary’s.”
I look out my window, ignoring him. He was right, I need to find my composure before I’m anywhere near Benny. How could I let myself lose it like this?
The rest of the drive is quiet. He pulls into his driveway and I follow him up his walkway to the front door. He opens the door for me and stands there as I walk inside. “You can use the bathroom in my bedroom to shower. Help yourself to some dry clothes in my dresser. I’ll be back in about an hour.”
I can’t force my lips to move so I just nod at him as he shuts the door behind him.
~
After a long hot shower I feel slightly more like myself. Or, like Vada that is. I grab the first shirt I see in the top drawer, which ends up being a black Miami-Dade Police Academy tee shirt. In the bottom drawer I find basketball shorts but they are all way too big for me. I open a smaller drawer and grab a [air of checkered boxers and have to roll the waist several times so that they stayed up on my hips. Since Isaac obviously does not own a blow dryer, I do what I can with my damp hair by putting it in a top knot with the rubber band I had on my wrist.
I walk into the kitchen and open each cabinet until I find the coffee cups. I pour myself a cup of fresh coffee I had set to brew before my shower, before making my way out the back patio door. My bare feet lead me down the steps and across the warm white sand, stopping just shy of where the tide meets the land. I sit down and sip my coffee, staring at the endless mass of water as it moves to its own soundtrack of soft waves and seagulls squawking above.
I lift my mug to sip the last of my coffee and set it down beside me. The crunching sound of the sand alerts me to someone coming. Isaac sits down beside me, knees bent up, mimicking mine. He gives me a slight shoulder bump, letting me know he is here. He must have taken a shower before coming out here because I can smell the same fresh scent of his soap that I had to use myself just an hour ago. I look over at him while moving a piece of stray hair behind my ear that the soft wind blowing off the ocean blew into my face. He turns to look at me at the same time, giving me a soft grin.
“I lied,” I say, turning back ahead to look at the endless sea. “I need a friend.” I pause. “I need you as my friend. I just don’t know how to do this.”
I can feel him looking at me but I’m not ready to meet his eyes. “You scared me today. You scared a lot of people today, actually.” He lightly takes a hold of my wrist that is propping up my arms behind me on the sand. “You can’t pull a stunt like that again, Vada.”
I finally make eye contact with him. “That’s the thing Isaac, I’m not used to having people care about my well-being. This is all new to me and frankly quite frightening. I don’t trust people easily.”
“What about Benny?” He seems agitated by my response.
“I knew Benny was in good hands. It’s not like he even realized what had gone on since I would’ve been at work at that time anyway. I planned on coming back. I just needed some time to think.”
“Did he hurt you? Is that why you are so afraid?”
“Did who hurt me?” I’m confused about what he is talking about.
Isaac runs his hand over his short hair in frustration. “Benny’s father, your husband who you said died. Did he do something to hurt you? Is that what you’re running from?”
I shake his hand off my wrist as I sit straight up. I immediately become defensive for Dominic. “He would never hurt me! He is the one who protected me all of those years. How dare you ask such a thing?” I accuse him.
“I’m sorry, Vada, but what do you expect from me? You’re so hot one minute and cold the next that I never know which of you I’m going to get. It’s like you’re two different people. You say you don’t need a friend, and then you say you do. I know absolutely nothing about you really. I’m not a mind reader.”
I stand up to my feet and trudge through the sand as I begin to make my way back up to his house. I’m not going to sit here and be yelled at. I have enough on my plate without this. I hate how vulnerable I feel when I’m around him. I made a mistake telling him I needed him as a friend.
Isaac takes after me, spinning me around to face him once he reaches me. I never even have time to think before his lips meet mine. My body reacts to his lips and the softness of his kiss, instinctively my mouth imitates his. His hands snake their way up both of my cheeks to gently hold onto my face while my hands grip onto his forearms. Our mouths never fully open, but more like melt into one another’s. He pulls his mouth away just far enough to lay his forehead against mine and sighs. “I’m sorry. It’s just, every day I wonder if it’s going to be the last time I see you. If tomorrow you decided to up and leave, I could never forgive myself for not doing that just once.”
We stand in the same position with my hands still gripping his forearms, his hands splayed across my cheeks with his fingers slightly in my hair, and our foreheads touching. Neither of us makes a move to break contact. I let out a sigh and close my eyes. “I would never leave without telling you goodbye first,” I whisper. My heart is beating a million miles a minute. “I couldn’t do that to Benny, either. I would let him tell you goodbye.”
Isaac swallows. “Promise?” his voice is raspy.
“I promise.”
He pulls my face toward him so that our lips touch again, this time the kiss is short. He lets go of my face, so I do the same to his arms.
“I should call and check on Benny.”
“Yeah, of course.”
He follows me into the house and sits down on the couch as I retrieve my purse off of the breakfasts bar. I turn my phone back on and dial Gloria.
She answers after just one ring. “Vada, how are you dear?”
I lean up against the wall in awe at her concern. “I’m better. I’m so sorry for earlier. That was so selfish of me. I won’t ever do something like that ever again.”
“You don’t need to apologize to me, Vada. I’m just glad Isaac found you when he did. Do you want to talk to Benny?”
“Yes, please.”
“Hi, Mommy!” he yells excitedly into the phone. “Do you remember Luca? He’s my new friend! Can I spend the night with him at Granny Gloria’s tonight? Pleaaaase?” he drags out.
I’ve never heard him call Gloria that before, but then I remember that Luca is one of Carlos’s sons. I bet he heard him call her that.
“Are you sure you’ll be okay away from me? I haven’t seen you all day and I miss you.”
“I’m a big boy, Mommy. Luca is almost five and he is a big boy too. That’s why he gets to spend the night at Granny Gloria’s. I want to be a like Luca. He’s fun.”
“Okay, but only if it is alright with Gloria.”
“Oh, it is!” he interrupts me. “Bye, Mommy. I love you!”
“I love you too, Benny. Forever, for always, for all of time.”
Gloria is back on the line now, I’m not even sure Benny heard the last thing I said. “He’ll be fine, Vada.”
“Are you sure? Will you let me know if he needs me?” I feel a small pain at the thought of my son starting to sprout his wings. I’m not sure I’m ready for that.
“I’ll call if he needs you. He and Luca are having a great time together. You need to take some time out for yourself for once. Focus on you. Enjoy your night, Vada.”
“Thank you, Gloria. Good night.”
“Good night, dear.”
I set my phone down on the bar and bite down on t
he top and bottom of my lips to hold back the tears. I’ve never been away from Benny for an entire night. I know he’s safe with Gloria though, and he sounded like he was having so much fun.
“I gather he begged to stay the night at Gloria’s with Luca?” Isaac asks as I mope over to the couch and sit down beside him.
“Yeah. I hate that he is growing up.” I pout.
“You can stay here and hang out with me if you want. I didn’t have any plans for tonight.”
“Are you sure?”
“One hundred percent.” He smiles. “Do you want to sit back out on the beach? The sky is so clear this evening I bet the stars will be really easy to see once the sun sets.”
“Sure.”
He reaches into the brown leather ottoman pulling out a big red blanket and tucks it under his arm. He reaches out for my hand. I grab it hesitantly and let him lead us back out to the beach.
Pink, red, orange, and yellows blend across the sky as if they were splattered on a canvas and bleed together. The colors ricochet off the water making the most magnificent portrait I’ve ever seen.
“Wow!” I murmur.
“Yeah, this was one of the main selling points to buying this house. You can’t really beat getting to see something like this every night. The sunrises come in a close second.”
I draw my eyes from the sky to look at him. He isn’t even watching the sun set. He’s staring at me like he’s in deep thought about something.
“Thank you for sharing this with me.”
“Thank you for staying.”
He was right; the sky is perfect tonight for stargazing. We both lie down side by side on our backs, admiring the bright shiny stars as they emerge. Somehow I’m drawn back into another time similar to this one, but with a different boy.
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