by Tanya Hanson
On the way, she swung the bucket harder than ever, like she had when she was little, wishing she was little once again and didn’t have men to think about.
****
Another friend. Well, why not? Jason stomped up the front porch steps. It was a fine start. To be sure, he was the self-proclaimed great wanderer, but something had happened the first time he saw Kelley’s picture on the mantle, some poke in the heart he’d never felt before. And meeting her up close and personal yesterday had only caused his heart to work harder. An hour ago, the trail ride all by himself had brought on a lonesomeness so big it hurt.
Sunday night supper at the big ranch house was a casual deal, open to everybody with leftovers set out for grazing, and he felt right at home like he had for months. But now, he missed Kelley like crazy. Knowing she was within fifty feet instead of an hour’s drive had his skin prickling in a good way. For a second, he thought about offering his help in the kitchen but quickly declined, wondering if her remark about the mountain man pack trips had been a veiled wish that he wouldn’t come along on the wagon train. For some reason, the possibility felt like a blow to the gut.
The Bible verse from church flashed in his head again as he opened the large double doors into the Hearts Crossing ranch house. Last night, sitting with Kelley in confidence, close, personal. Touches and butterfly kisses. Seemed a long time ago. Well, he’d felt the call to follow the verse, and it hadn’t worked. So much for his first attempt at being Godly. He’d gone down in flames. Had all his emotion during the service been just that: something you feel while gorgeous music rang in the air? Something temporary?
Standing at the fireplace that bore the picture of Kelley, Hooper and Pike lifted their chins in greeting as Jason hailed them. He itched to join them, mostly to snare another gander at the portrait, but before he could enter from the hallway, some of the visiting tourists claimed the brothers’ attention. Their mother’s rich authoritative voice ringing out from the dining room sent Jason a sudden urge to text his mother. When was the last time he and Snowy had had any kind of contact? She didn’t do Mother’s Day. Or even the moniker “mom.”
The Martins hung together every day, sometimes all day, all week. Went to church and Bible study, said grace, and had a prayer-list for folks they loved, like the Colemans. For some strange reason, he kind of liked the thoughts. Nonetheless, Snowy was his mom, and the stuff in his life was whatever it was. He hunkered in the long hall over his smart phone.
“Hey, it’s noisy out here. Use my study!” Hooper called, friendly, as he headed into the dining room.
“OK. Thanks.” Jason did the raised-chin salute. Noise only mattered with a phone call…he wasn’t opposed to trying face-to-phone contact but honestly had no idea what time it was in Moldova. Still, some peace and quiet from the din might be all right. He could calm down and steel his nerves against seeing Kelley again, which he wanted to do more than anything and feared it like a plague at the same time.
Entering the study, though, he found it a beehive of activity. Scott Martin hunkered in front of the PC, Hoop’s wife Mallie hunched over the chair she’d pulled up next to him. At her neck, a silver crucifix glinted in the light. He squinted at its beauty, and the morning’s hymn played in his mind again. Maybe…maybe going to church had started something. Something permanent.
Would God help him and Kelley, too? Despite his wanderlust, he just had to convince her to take a chance on a relationship. What he felt, what she felt, was no accident.
She’d already admitted they had something between them. Like a school kid’s, his heart raced at the thought of her.
Giving up wasn’t a term in his playbook. If it was, he’d be in Moldova growing potatoes.
“The menu card should read Thai satay. Not satan,” Mallie said to Scott who burst into laughter, and Jason couldn’t help a chuckle.
Mallie’s big blue eyes turned to him. “Hey, Jason. I’m so excited for you. It’ll be a kick, you going on your first wagon train adventure.”
“I can’t wait. How about you?”
Scott nodded a hello while his fingers danced over the keyboard, his mind clearly on whatever he was doing.
“Not this time. I’m coordinating Rhee Ryland’s wedding. Scott’s updating their website as we speak.” She checked Scott’s update and nodded, saying without looking back at Jason. “I’ll try to hit one of the trains next month. I’ve got two more June weddings.”
Jason smiled but reckoned it had a touch of grimness. What was it with women and weddings? They even needed to hire wedding coordinators. His folks were still together without vows, in spite of his dad getting sidetracked a few times. For a minute, disquiet rumbled in Jason’s gut. What kind of man did that to the woman he loved? Who tried to discover himself in the arms of somebody else? Worse, what kind of woman would take him back?
While he loved his parents, he knew then and there he’d never do such a thing to a woman he loved, and would never want such a woman who thought so little of his behavior she’d welcome his return. Throughout his life, he’d no doubt give in to his wanderlust, but he’d never insult a woman in such a way. Kelley flashed in his mind right then, so an immediate distraction was vital.
“Uh, I met Caffey in Sunset Hills the other day,” was all he could think to say.
Mallie flashed another bright smile before wrapping it up. “She’s going to be a beautiful bride. I think Kelley’s reading a Scripture. Looks great, Scott. I’m going to grab a plate now.”
Ah, Scripture. Maybe Scripture would help him, too. First chance tomorrow, he’d head for the Book Nook in town and purchase a Bible all his own. The plan spurred him on. Why wait? Surely someone here could loan him one in the meantime.
“I’ll be along in a bit,” Scott said. “I’ve got to update the Mountain Cove High School site right now.”
“OK.” Mallie marched off.
Scott addressed Jason then. “You’re going to the All American Fourth of July picnic, right?”
“Dunno. Isn’t it for alumni?” Jason knew Scott was just being polite, and once again felt adrift. He’d been to four high schools, one in Germany, and hadn’t kept in touch with anybody. A few college pals still worked the Colorado range but…he didn’t keep in touch much with them other than round-ups from time to time…
“Yep, but everybody comes from every which way. I know Kelley would like it.” Scott’s voice bore a tone of matchmaking, and Jason had to decide, quick, if help from her brother in the romance department could be in the works.
Butterfly kisses…
Nope. As with most of his independent life, this was all him.
“What would Kelley like?” His nemesis herself walked into the room with a steaming cup of coffee. Even her holding a big fat mug took his breath away, and every inch of his skin heated up.
“Fourth of July picnic.” Scott mumbled. “Jason’s trying to back out because he didn’t go to MCHS.”
Right now was the time she’d give him the gaze that weakened his knees, told him he mattered somehow no matter her words by the pasture. Now she’d let him know how much she’d like him there.
Her smile was as big as it was impersonal. As was the shrug of her slim but strong shoulders beneath a bright pink shirt. Pearl earrings gleamed like dots at the lobes of her ears.
“Well, I totally understand that. Jason isn’t from here and he doesn’t plan to stay long.”
Her smile didn’t change in size, but it dimmed big time as she set down the mug for her brother. After a quick glance at him, she walked out again without another word.
6
OK, so it might be fun to show off Jason at the picnic. Just like she’d shown off Ned four times. Or was it five? Jason wasn’t anybody to her, however, and she wasn’t anything important to him.
Still, Kelley had slept so badly that Chelsea had thrown a pillow at her four times. Chelsea, sweet baby sister who was too young to understand about noncommittal men and failing businesses.
N
ow I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord…
Now where on earth had that thought come from? Third grade? With a growl, Kelley tossed her own pillow across the room and jumped out of bed. Four twenty-eight a.m. She scrambled into jeans and tank top and plunged downstairs, ready to face who knew what.
Despite the despicable hour, Ma was pummeling around the kitchen like a prize fighter and fifty opponents. Already, trays of chocolate chip scones and blueberry muffins cooled on racks on the huge counter. Shame flooded Kelley at once. Baking for the guests had always been her thing.
“‘Morning, sweetheart.” Ma in her plus-size overalls and yellow plaid shirt looked every inch a ranch wife. And so like the down-home ma Kelley had run to with every scraped knee and slip off a saddle. But Kelley was a big girl now.
Make that a grown-up woman.
“Ma, I…” She took a deep breath. No need to have Ma hear her shaking voice and assume the worst. “I could have done those.”
“I reckoned you needed your sleep. You’ve got three busy days ahead. Now how about a good morning kiss for your old ma’s cheek?”
Kelley did just that on her way to pour a tall mug of Ma’s motor-oil coffee. Leaning against the sink, she debated on when to face her mother. That woman had a way about her that managed to delve into the deepest recesses of your soul.
“You and Jason seem to be hitting it off a little.”
That got Kelley’s dander up but she kept her distance, kept herself busy pouring in too much fresh cream. Time to act casual. “Yeah. He’s a nice guy. Smart, too. Knows horses and cows, dogs, too, like I know vegetarian.”
Ma’s voice was casual, too. “I was glad to see him in church yesterday. His first time. It’s always my preference for good Christian men to work the ranch, but I do my best not to badger. He even asked to borrow a Bible last night.”
Remembering Jason yesterday had Kelley swallow a snort. “Yeah, well, he meant it all more as spectator. One Bible verse and he gets all self-righteous on me.”
Ma’s lips tightened. “God’s Word never returns void.”
As her mother’s eyebrows peaked upward into freshly-tinted, shiny dark brown hair, Kelley lost it and ran into her mother’s arms. “Oh, Ma, why did you bring him here?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, he’s just temporary, isn’t he? Until Nick gets back? And then he plans to move on.”
Ma stroked her hair. “Sweetheart, yes, he is temporary. We can’t afford to keep two geneticists on the payroll. In fact, Jason’s just part-time at any rate.”
She heaved herself down on a slat-backed chair and pulled Kelley close onto her lap just like those days of childhood. “Hoop thought we could get by on our own with Nick gone. Not hire anybody and keep costs down. But the tests are important. Orchestrating the cows’ heat cycles makes it easier for AI. And Hoop got wind of Jason. As a consultant for BeauVine Tech, he could work part-time, and we could afford him. So yeah, he isn’t long-term. So what’s the trouble?”
“I felt the sparkle, like you always said. But he’s just another man on the run.” Then she shook her head and got back up to force down a bite of muffin.
Especially when Ma emitted a long drowned out hmmmmmmmmm.
“I mean, he was raised by vagabonds and doesn’t want to settle down anywhere and is heading to Uzbekistan, and his parents aren’t even married. He just isn’t Hearts Crossing material.”
Ma rose to gather her close again. “Every child of God is Hearts Crossing material in some way. Now about those sparkles. Don’t discount ‘em. It’s something in the Martin makeup, I think.”
Kelley groaned. “It happened quick, but it happened real.”
“That’s right. Kenn proposed to Christy in barely two days. And Hoop, well, he said he knew for sure seeing Mallie the first time.”
Kelley considered. She hadn’t felt any instant sparks upon meeting Ned, and look where that had gotten her. Four-and-a-half wasted years. But Ma kept on.
“Why, I first laid eyes on Alex Kennedy and I knew. But there was so much going on. Your Grim-Gram was sick, and my pa had just died leaving a money mess ‘bout the same size as Texas. The bankruptcy wolves were howling at the barn door. But I knew if I didn’t get Alex to stay, he’d be gone. And I’d regret it every day.” She bestowed on Kelley a bright glare and drew them both back down on a chair. “I was pushing thirty, same as you. I took my chance, and it was the best thing I’ve ever done. Because deep down,” Ma’s voice lowered dramatically, “Alex didn’t really want to go. I just made him realize it for sure.”
Against her mother, Kelley nestled safe, secure, while she digested the oft-heard story one more time. This morning, however, its significance raged. Ma had put herself through college and worked her fingers to the bone at the ranch for years before letting her heart speak to her. Before she’d refused to let her man get away.
“All couples have baggage,” Ma drawled gently, “to unpack and put away proper.”
“We are not a couple.”
“All I know is, don’t discount those sparkles, girl. I speak from experience.”
Kelley sniffed deep through her nose to stop the tears. Sparkles and butterfly kisses. What was she even thinking? Jason wasn’t Alex Kennedy, willing to change his address and his name or M.O. for the woman he loved. But the tears didn’t halt this time, and it wasn’t just Jason. It was simply time to let loose.
“What else is it, sweetheart? I’ve been sensing something heavy on your shoulders.”
Kelley buried her face in Ma’s substantial shoulder. “Somehow God seems too far away right now, you know.”
“Matter of fact, I do know. That’s when He draws you closer.” As if to demonstrate, Ma gave her a squeeze, but her voice turned tender with uncanny understanding. “It isn’t all Jason, though, is it?
Kelley hung her head and let the tears flow. “No, Ma. It’s the restaurant. To put it plain, Vegeterra is a failure. When my lease is up in August, I don’t think I can afford to renew it.”
“Now, that restaurant is your baby.” Ma’s hand stopped rubbing Kelley’s head. “I know Hooper will agree we can scrounge things around to front you some help-money.”
“No, Ma. My ‘baby’ has been a losing proposition from the get-go.”
“Money-wise that’s how babies are,” Ma chuckled as if to lighten the moment. “It’s a beautiful atmosphere, and your food is delicious.”
Even in her misery, Kelley felt a nice warmth. Compliments from Ma were high praise indeed considering her own legendary cooking skills and her unspoken disinclination for vegetarian fare.
Kelley coughed a damp giggle. “I know you’re right. But people don’t come in to find out! I’m at the far end of town, so passersby hit other establishments first. And coming down from the mountains, well, they hurry on by to get somewhere else. I thought I had it figured out, but Ma, I didn’t, after all.”
For a long moment, Ma stroked Kelley’s head again like she was a child again. “That sounds a lot like real life,” she pronounced. “And it’s sure not like you to give up. Fight for what you want. That’s when you turn to God for strength.” Her mother fell quiet for a minute as she always did, waiting for the Lord to lead her, which He always did. “It’s Proverbs twenty-two, I think. ‘Apply your heart to my knowledge…so that your trust may be in the Lord.’ Understand? It’s a new day, sweetheart. Our lives seem to be a mix-up of negative and positive ‘surprises.’”
“That’s for sure,” Kelley grumbled even as she treasured her soft, warm perch
“So it helps,” Ma went on, “to have a fresh encounter with God’s Word each day as we prepare to walk into those fresh new hours of life He has given us. And throughout the day, turn our hearts and minds back to Him, no matter how busy, how fretful things get.”
Kelley had been raised on such advice and knew it deep down, needed to hear it, but when all was said and done, it was too hard right now to do. She had twenty-three tourists to feed…and Jas
on to face for the next three days. With another quick kiss on the cheek, she rose. “Thanks, Ma. I’m sorry to unload on you. I wanted you to be proud of me.”
“I am always and ever proud of you, Kelley.” Ma’s voice bore a tone of shock. “Don’t ever doubt me. Yourself. Or our Father. Lean on Him.”
“OK.” Kelley ran a finger down her ma’s soft, suntanned cheek. “I better get showered and ready.”
“Oh, and Kelley. Don’t forget to keep the Colemans in your thoughts and prayers. Daisy and Roberta Lewis will take over the café until Oz and Peg can get back here.”
“How are Eric and Sophie?” Kelley’s fingers tightened at the reminder other loved ones had problems far worse than hers.
Ma shook her head. “Sophie’s pulling through okay, but Eric’s in intensive care. I have faith that God will provide.”
“You always do, Ma.”
“And He always does.” Ma’s eyebrows rose once more as if daring Kelley to contradict.
****
Yep, Jason Easterday had been all around the world, but those covered wagons billowing in the morning breeze started chills racing up and down his spine. Nothing like the American West. Like it took no effort at all, Scott Martin led a team of gleaming black Percherons to the chuck wagon and hitched them up, and with his example, Jason followed suit with the second team, “Pip” and “Estella.”
“They work in pairs,” Scott explained, “and the first name mentioned is always the horse on the left.”
“They’re grand,” Jason said, realizing at once the weakness of his adjective. “Make that glorious. Magnificent.”
Scott nodded. “Pretty awesome. We’ll be pulling out about ten. You riding the wagons or going on horseback?”
“Riding Zee, I think.” In a perfect world, he’d be sitting next to Kelley on the chuck wagon, but that wasn’t gonna happen.