by M. Z. Kelly
The brothers looked over at me again.
“You’re going to have to be more forceful,” I said.
With great reluctance each brother took one of the elderly man’s arms that resembled something that should be hanging in the porcine section of a butcher shop and attempted to pull him up.
“He ain’t budging, dude,” Gooch said to Glade.
His partner grimaced. “On the count of three, let’s yank.”
After a mighty heave, their efforts finally paid off. The brothers and Newt went flying off Mumford, landing in a heap on the wet shower floor. Unfortunately for Gooch and Glade, the naked man stood up but slipped again, landing in the dominant position astride the brothers.
“Dude, we’ve been slimed,” Gooch said, pushing Newt away and scrambling around on the wet tile floor, trying to get back on his feet.
When his partner managed to finally get up, he said, “We’ve been violated by a giant nut sack.”
I controlled Bernie before going over and handing Newt Babich a towel. “Cover up and get dressed. We’re going to need a statement.”
“I’m pressing charges,” he screamed, yanking the towel from my hands. “I was sexually assaulted.”
I sincerely hoped that he meant he’d been assaulted by Mumford, not Gooch and Glade. I turned back and saw that Charlie now had our suspect in handcuffs and was helping him to his knees. Mumford was panting and spitting at the same time.
“He tried to smother me,” he screamed, pointing at his elderly assailant. “I want him arrested for assault with a deadly ass.”
When the uniforms arrived to transport Mumford to Hollywood Station we caught a break. I’d been anticipating a showdown with Haley Tristan over her wanting to sit in on Mumford’s interview and wasn’t sure that if I refused I’d get any backing from Shafter or the brass.
Charlie came over to me and said, “I just got a call from President Stanwich at the university. He said he’s come across a locker that Mumford used when he was working there. He wants someone to come over and take a look with him.”
“I’d like to go with you,” Haley Tristan said, overhearing our conversation.
“Of course you would, Haley. Maybe you can screw Walter Stanwich in his office while you’re there.” Okay, so I was fantasizing again. Instead, I said, “Charlie will go to the school with you and Muriel.”
My partner was still out of breath from the chase, but gave me a death stare. “We can handle Mumford,” I said to him. “I think you need a break anyway.”
Charlie stomped off with Tristan and Shafter like he’d been sent to the principal’s office, which he had.
***
When I got back to Hollywood Station that afternoon I tossed my torn blazer on my desk, deciding it was ruined. I spent twenty minutes trying to pull myself back together, which included spending half that time in the restroom running a brush through hair that an afternoon in the Club Z showers had done nothing to improve. I was back at my desk contemplating the questions I would ask Mumford when the brothers intercepted me.
“We’d like to handle the interview,” Eric Glade said.
“It would be therapeutic for us,” his partner agreed.
Both men were still wet and in recovery mode from their shower tussle. Neither of them had their usual cocky expression.
“Maybe you two should go see the department’s shrink,” I said.
“My pard’s serious, Kate,” Glade offered. “We’ve suffering from TSSD.”
“Huh?”
“Traumatic Suspect Stress Disorder,” Gooch explained. “It’s gonna take us weeks and some time with a few honey bunnies to get what happened at the gym out of our minds.”
“And maybe some lost nights in a couple of bars,” Glade added.
I thought about the shower scene, Newt landing on top of them. I laughed and said, “Maybe you guys should just think about what happened as a variation on the three-way you’ve always dreamt about.”
“I’m not even going to dignify that with a response,” Glade said, his expression deadly serious.
I controlled my laughter and decided to take sympathy on them. “Okay. You’ve earned your shot.”
I finally got a smile out of them. Glade said to Gooch, “You want to take the lead, dude? We can make use of our EIT.”
“What is that?” I asked.
“Enhanced Interrogation Technique, the younger brother said. “It’s verbal judo. Our tongues are like AK-47’s.”
“Just be sure there’s no water boarding.”
“We’ll go non-hydro, just for you, Kate,” Gooch said. He looked at his brother. “Hey, maybe our lunch date with that fine looking friend of Kate’s and Naw-naw will start to take the edge off some of our trauma.”
“I hope Naw-naw is as hot as Natalie,” Glade said, looking at me.
“Oh, you don’t have to worry about that,” I said. “Naw-naw is as hot as they come.” Just ask a guy named Elvis.
The brother’s did a fist bump. Glade said, “I think I’m already beginning to heal, bro.”
Gooch shook his head, a traumatic memory apparently surfacing. “It’s gonna be a long and difficult road, my friend.”
Patrol had delivered Shane Mumford to one of the station’s interview rooms where he’d been waiting for us for more than an hour. As I took a seat in the corner of the room and the brothers began their interrogation it was obvious that our suspect was none too happy about the afternoon’s events.
“I want to know why I was chased through the club and attacked by that…that crazed monster?” Mumford demanded.
Kyle Gooch titled his head and smiled. He had his smirk back in all its glory. “Let’s set the record straight from the beginning, my friend. We showed up to ask you a couple of questions. When you saw us you ran like a guy with his ass on fire. As for the monster…” He looked at Glade and winced. “All I can say is that sometimes life carries with it certain traumatic events.”
Mumford sat back, crossed his arms. “I was late for an appointment, just in a hurry. That’s the reason I ran.”
“Yeah,” Glade said, smiling at his adversary. “That’s why you nearly broke down the gym’s doors and ended up in the showers with Newt’s balls in your face.”
“Don’t remind me,” Mumford said, sweeping a hand through his blonde locks. He looked over at me. “This is a charade. I demand to know the charges against me.”
I said, “Let’s start with vandalism, disturbing the peace…”
He leaned forward, pressing his hands on the desk. “This is outrageous.”
“We’re also going to add resisting arrest and maybe a sexual battery charge if the victim has his way.”
“I was the one battered by that…whale who sat on top of me.” Mumford surprised me by suddenly tearing up. “It was horrible.”
The brothers exchanged momentary nods of sympathy. Gooch then said, “Let’s cut to the chase, pretty boy. We know that you had a relationship with Jezzie Rose. Tell us about that.”
Our suspect’s brow furrowed, his watery eyes narrowing. “Jezzie? Is that what this is about?”
“Don’t play the stupid card. Just answer the question.”
“There’s nothing to tell.”
Glade stood up, turned his chair around, and sat down again, inches from Mumford’s face. “We know all about you, Shane. Hey, we get it. You’re a young guy, fairly attractive. Of course, not as handsome as me and my bro, but you’ve got a couple of things going for you. So, you use that to your advantage. You’ve got the ladies lining up. Weekends are busy, you can take your pick. In fact, you’ve got a list of women from places like Club Z and Westlake U. Life’s good, real good.”
“And it gets even better when Jezzie comes along,” Gooch added. “She’s not only hot, but she’s famous and rich. You date her a few times and eventually become her personal trainer—only the training you did with her had nothing to do with athletics.”
Mumford looked at me and said, “I want a lawyer.”
Mumford’s eyes took on a sheen again and he wailed, “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
I waited as he continued to cry, his breath coming in spasms of emotion which, no doubt, also gave him time to assess his options.
Finally, he said, “Okay. I’ll admit that Jezzie and I had a couple of dates and she eventually hired me as her trainer. She was attractive, wealthy, and famous. I wanted a part of that action so I pursued her.” He looked at the brothers. “Just like you guys would do. End of story.”
Gooch leaned across the table. “That’s not quite the end of story, my man. You forgot a couple of details.”
“What are you talking about?”
“A little something called a pregnancy.”
Mumford’s handsome face became pinched. I knew he was a player but he seemed genuinely surprised by what Gooch had said. “If Jezzie was pregnant, it wasn’t by me.”
My phone was ringing as Gooch asked, “How can you be so sure?”
“I never had sex with her,” Mumford said, as I answered my call.
I realized it was Charlie on the line at the same time Glade told Mumford he was lying and said, “Don’t go all Bill Clinton on me, Dude. Sometimes accidents happen. Even latex has its limits.”
Our suspect’s nose was still running from crying when I ended my call. I stood up, came over to the table, and handed him a tissue.
I bent down to him and said, “I think you need to start over with the truth, Mr. Mumford.” Gooch and Glade looked up at me as our suspect started to protest. I cut him off. “I just got a call from a detective at Westlake University. A weapon was found in your locker at the school. The caliber matches the one that was used to kill Jezzie Rose. If I were a betting woman, I’d say the odds are in my favor that ballistics will match it for the murder weapon.” I moved even closer, inches from his face. “Now tell me why you killed that beautiful girl.”
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
After leaving Bernie at home, I agreed to meet Natalie and Mo after work at the Edison in downtown Los Angeles. The lounge offered a glimpse of the old world glamor of the city; a combination of turn of the century industrial architecture and art deco chic. We entered from a cantilevered concrete and steel staircase into the red and amber hues of the once power-plant turned bar. The interior was decorated with restored artifacts and montages of silent film legends. We took seats at a table away from the other patrons. I was grateful that the music was soothing, instead of the pounding techno-beat of Club Z that I’d encountered earlier in the day.
After the discovery of the weapon in Shane Mumford’s locker, he’d lawyered up and our interview was over. We were still waiting to see if the department’s SID, or Scientific Investigation Division, would be able to do a ballistics match on the gun for the Jezzie Rose murder weapon.
“How was the date last night?” I asked Mo after we’d settled in and our cocktails arrived.
“Larry and me went to a place up north,” Mo said, sipping a gin cocktail the lounge called, The Doors to Paradise. “Got a little chummy if you know what I mean.” Her red lips that matched her hair and dress turned up in a seductive way. Larry, as far as I knew, was a part-time wrestler and security guard. Mo called him a bull with the heart of a lamb.
Natalie, who looked stunning in a flirty lace top and short blue and white skirt said, “Cheers to that.” She tilted up her vodka and pomegranate martini called, The Mistress. “I’m also drinking to old Clyde. Me ex bit the big one last night.”
“What?” I said, setting down my margarita.
“Went tits up in his bed, so I heard.” She smiled. “Just hope he had a smile on his face before the big check out.” Her own smile grew wider. “The good news is, I still had an insurance policy on the old boy. Should set me up right nice for a bit.”
“I’m surprised he lasted this long after being with you,” Mo said. “I think you blew out his circuits in more ways than one.”
Natalie shrugged and sipped her drink. She sat the cocktail glass down and ran a finger along the edge. “Might as well use up what God gave you before She takes it back.” She looked at me. Then Mo looked at me.
“What?” I said.
“Our yoga instructor,” Natalie said. “Dave Hamlin is coming to our sex and relationships class. I think he might be a little smitten with you. He asked me about you being a cop.”
“Some guys get off on a woman with a gun,” Mo said. “It’s a power thing.”
“Yeah, I’m feeling really powerful lately,” I said, at the same time thinking about my hair and outfit. I was wearing a black halter dress, but in this case the little black dress wasn’t doing anything for my confidence. As for my hair, as usual, it had a mind of its own. Despite writing myself a note, I’d forgotten to make an appointment at Robin’s salon.
Natalie’s sandwich arrived, something appropriately called, The Merry Widow, consisting of Nutella and bananas.
As she waited for the rest of our food to come over, Natalie said, “We scheduled the dating safety segment of our class for next Wednesday. You’re gonna be on right before Dr. Ludmilla.”
In a weak moment I’d agreed to do the class, but was having second thoughts. As a server brought over my grilled chicken salad, I said, “I’ve got a feeling my segment won’t be much compared to your sex expert.”
“Ludmilla don’t hold nuth’n back,” Mo said. “Her segment won’t be for the squeamish.” A plate of something called, Electric Squid, came over. Mo didn’t waste any time diving in.
“Tex and me are gonna help Dr. Ludmilla with her session,” Natalie added, with that dose of a little too much enthusiasm that worries me.
There was no telling what I’d gotten myself into by agreeing to do the class. And it didn’t seem like the ideal place or circumstances to try and get to know Brian Hamlin. I exhaled, deciding that I was cursed when it came to relationships anyway.
“Baby sis filled me in on your meeting with your mom,” Mo said, coming up from her plate. “Sorry to hear about her condition. I knew a girl in that situation once. They called it The Living Death. Not a pretty way to go.”
My roommates were displaying their usual lack of sensitivity but I ignored it. “I just hope she isn’t suffering. It’s pretty sad.”
“Mo’s got her some movie contacts,” Natalie offered. “She’s thinkin’ she might ask ‘round about that Ryan Cooper bloke in her spare time since you mentioned that he worked as a makeup artist.”
“Don’t know any major players,” Mo added. “Just a few mid-level grunts. But I could put some feelers out there for you. Shake a few bushes and see if a killer falls out.”
“I’d appreciate that,” I said. “But be careful. Cooper murdered my father and put my mother in a death coma. If you find out anything about him, don’t confront him, just let me know. He’s extremely dangerous.”
“You forget you’re dealin’ with a couple of private Sherlocks,” Natalie said. “We can take care of business.”
A half dozen scary images of my friends, taking care of business, flashed through my mind.
“Heard you had a run-in with that Shane Mumford guy at the club today,” Mo said, after another round of squid. “Is he gonna take the fall for Jezzie’s murder?”
I didn’t have much of an appetite and pushed the salad around my plate. “We’re waiting on a ballistics match to the gun found in his locker.”
“From what I heard around the school,” Mo said, “Mumford’s just a perv looking for a good time, pretty harmless. I don’t think he’s the type to whack somebody. You gotta dig deeper, Kate.”
“I got the same impression,” I said. I finished my margarita and set the glas
s aside. “But if the gun fits, I’m afraid Mumford’s in deep shit.”
***
The next morning, after arriving at the station, Lieutenant Edna informed us that Shane Mumford was about as deep in excrement as you can get.
“Ballistics matched Mumford’s gun to the Rose murder weapon. The DA should be charging him this afternoon.”
The brothers did a fist bump. Kyle Gooch said, “Score one for the Avengers.”
“I feel like a superhero, bro,” Glade agreed. He looked around the table at the lieutenant, me, Charlie, and Pearl. “Maybe we should all get costumes.”
“Good idea,” I said. “And in our spare time we can take photographs with the tourists on the Walk of Fame.”
“Enough with the bull crap,” Edna said. He turned to me. “According to Media Relations, Tristan’s running with the story about Mumford going down for the crime in tomorrow morning’s edition of the paper. They want you to give her some sound byes for the article.”
I looked over at Bernie who was resting in the corner. “I’d love to give her a bite but it has nothing to do with sound.”
“They also said that Tristan’s going to include the information about Jezzie’s pregnancy in the story. You and Charlie might wanna get over there and talk to her parents today. Tell them about Mumford and make sure they know about the pregnancy so there are no surprises.”
Charlie said, “I think I’m gonna call it an early day, if you don’t mind lieutenant. I’m a little under the weather.”
My partner looked pale and tired. Maybe he’d been having more issues with his daughter.
Edna nodded and said to me. “You can take Pearl.”
“My bro and me can also tag along,” Gooch said.
Edna shook his head. “You and Glade are heading over to Hotel Zen. They got a dead girl on the roof over there. Kate and Pearl will catch up with you at the scene later.”
After the meeting, I took a moment to check in with Charlie. “You look like you could use some rest, partner.”
Charlie’s dead, bloodshot eyes found me as he pulled his coat off the rack. “Up half the night with my ex. She agreed to take Irma for the rest of the school year.”