by K J Carr
“Come on, Nica. I know you are awake.”
I sat up immediately, my heart pounding. Sitting cross-legged, near my feet, was a young woman. She was slender, with long pale hair. She wore an tunic top and worn blue jeans, and her feet were bare.
“Jesus, Joseph and Mary! You scared me!” I gasped, my hand over my heart, my eyes wide.
She laughed, her voice almost sounding like bells chiming. “You are such a drama queen.”
I huffed, trying to get oxygen into my lungs. As my breathing slowed, I played back what she had said to me as I had woken up.
“You know me?” I glanced around. It looked like we were in some sort of cave, and yet, I didn’t see any openings or tunnels leaving it. My eyes went back to look at her.
She nodded, smirking. “I am El’Noviria. You can call me El. I have been chosen to be your….guide.”
I was curious as to what she really wanted to say right then.
“My guide? Guide in what?”
“I am your guide during what the Tennins call the Transition.”
“We have guides? I thought Malak was my…” My voice trailed off as a strange look crossed her face. “What? Did something happen to him?” My voice started to squeak as I thought of all the things that could have gone wrong when I had shoved Achilah out of Marcus. I hoped that Malak hadn’t gotten hurt. Not Malak.
El’s eyes widened suddenly. “He is okay, as far as I know, Nica. Calm, please.”
I felt a push and then pull, my emotions calming with her words. I realized she was doing this, but I couldn’t care right now. I concentrated on the fact that Malak was okay, letting the tension flow out of me.
“He is fine. No, you will be taking a slightly different path than the Tennins. I am to guide you through those phases, of which only the first one will be similar to that which the Tennins have planned for you.” Her voice was soft.
She stood slowly, seeming to just rise from the floor to a standing position before she walked over to a shelf in the wall I hadn’t noticed before. She poured something out into a cup and then came back over to me, kneeling gracefully near me.
“Tea. It is just tea, Nica. Please take this since you must be thirsty.”
I realized that my throat was dry. I reached out and took the cup out of her hands, bringing it up to my nose. Mint. I took a sip, the warm liquid easing my throat, taking away the dryness. I quickly finished the cup.
“More?” She tilted her head at me.
I nodded.
She rose and quickly poured some more, bringing it back over.
I sipped this cup slower, thinking.
“What do you mean ‘I will be taking a different path’?”
El sighed. “That is complicated and I am not allowed to tell you much before you are ready to hear it.”
“How will I know if I am ready to hear it until I do?” I quickly responded.
She frowned at me.
“Nica. Have you decided yet?”
I shrugged, knowing she was avoiding my question but letting her lead the discussion at this time.
“I guess.” Even to me, I sounded hesitant.
El studied me intently for a minute, before dropping back down into her lotus position on the floor. She looked up at the walls of the cave, directing my eyes up as well.
Pictures played out on them. Pictures of my life, from earlier in my life. Fights with my parents, times with Kaitie, watching Marcus go off to war.
“You are chosen for the Transition because you do not fear death. But you also do not live life, do you?”
The conversation I had just had with Kaitie flashed into my mind. I shook my head, still watching the scenes of my life play out.
“Why do you want to Transition, Nica? What do you want to get out of it?”
I fiercely turned towards her. “Achilah has taken that decision out of my hands. He is attacking my family, El. I need to protect them, any way I can.”
She nodded, her eyes still up watching my life play out.
“Yes, he will keep attacking them. Yes, becoming Tennin will help you to protect them. But we are talking about immortality, Nica. It is a long time. Why do you want to become immortal?”
“Isn’t it enough to protect them?”
She looked at me finally. “No.”
Confusion clouded my face.
“Think, Nica. We are talking about immortality.”
Forever. And Kaitie and Marcus…they won’t live forever.
Watching me, she saw when I realized this. “You have to transition for you. Not for some goal to protect them. Because there will come that day, when they will no longer need your protection.”
I sobbed, the thought hitting me hard. Even if I were immortal, everything that Kaitie said would still apply. I would have to love them now, in the now, because they won’t last forever. What would I do then?
I stood quickly and started pacing around the room.
El’s eyes went back to watching my life. “This is part of my job in guiding you. You have so much potential, Nica, but you need to make this decision for yourself, not for them. If you become immortal, who do you want to be?”
Who do I want to be? That has always been the question. I have asked this as a human and it appears this question will follow me into death or transition as well. My steps slowed.
“I am not sure, El. I am not sure what has been the main goal of my life.”
El glanced at me and then back at the wall, waving a hand towards it.
“Here are possible scenarios of the future if you don’t transition. I cannot tell you that they will come to pass or if they won’t. They are just potentialities right now.”
I turned back towards the walls that had been showing my life, but now they were filled with scenes of the world carrying on, the same crap happening as it was now. But there were also scenes with daemons running around, appearing and disappearing, causing problems. I could see Tennins in some of them, with what looked like Transitioners – some whom became Tennins and most of those whom were killed. My heart ached.
I watched Chlarms being killed, daemons being killed, Tennins and humans all suffering.
“Stop.” My voice was soft, but El still heard me. The pictures froze.
“I love my family and will protect them with everything I have.” I closed my eyes, my fists clenched. I then opened them and turned towards El. “But I also love being human. We are a flawed species, but we have so many good points. I have met T’Koran, and he has shown me the injustices that exist within the daemon world. Achilah is evil. I cannot imagine anything that is at all good about him. I want to fight him, El.”
She stood, looking down at the ground. “What if there was more to Achilah that what you see?”
More? I looked at her eyes wide as I thought about it. “Then perhaps I need to learn what that is.”
She nodded and then walked over to the wall and touched one small point. A tunnel of similar rock appeared there.
I sighed. “I want to fight him, El. I didn’t say I wanted to kill him.” I shook my head in wonder. “He needs to pay for what he has done. All of those he has killed or had commanded to be killed. I know it will be hard, but I will watch and observe and hopefully determine a punishment that is appropriate.”
“What if you are not the one to kill him? What if you find out he has a reason for what he is doing? Would you protect him as well?” She didn’t turn to look at me.
Would I protect the killer? I wasn’t sure there was a reason why I should, but that was the point she was making, wasn’t it? Can I make a decision with only part of the information?
I nodded, my heart heavy. “Yes, I would protect even him. If it was deemed warranted.”
El turned her head and looked at me, a slight smile on her face. “Justice is hard to determine, but it is satisfying goal, Nica. Being the Judge is hard. We are all judges; just some of us have harder decisions to decide on.”
She turned to face me. “Remember
you are more than you think you are. You are the world in between. You have a greater power in you because of your sense of justice and loyalty.”
She beckoned me over to her and turned back to the wall. I then noticed that there was a film over the cave wall.
“This is where Achilah was throwing you, to this room. It is similar but different from the other one he had imprisoned you. I had redirected you here so we could talk, but you need to still follow that path. To play out this part of your life. You may not remember the specifics of meeting me or this place. Just remember, he cannot really contain you here in the Void, Nica. You are more than he realizes. You are the Void. He needs you, just like Malak and the Tennins need you.”
She put her hands on my shoulders and turned me so my back was to the wall. “Just like Marcus and Kaitie need you,” she softly finished before pushing me into the wall.
I thought I would hit the hard surface, but instead I fell through, losing consciousness once more.
Chapter 20
When I came back to myself, I was in a similar box as I had been before. I was whole, not just a thought or a mind. I had a body.
I stood unsteadily and squinted. I could see the colors streaming all around me, the same but slightly different. They were brighter than the last time and moving faster as if they were agitated. I wasn’t sure what the difference was but hoped it wouldn’t change how I got out. I wasn’t sure why he had put me in a box again. Perhaps it was because he was hurt and it was the easiest way for him to contain me. Perhaps he was just an unimaginative jerk.
I moved around the walls slowly, tapping them, looking for the way out.
Nothing.
Feeling a little steadier, I tried again.
Nothing.
I sat down for a moment and thought.
The floor.
I crawled along it, tapping, sometimes on my knees. When they started to hurt, I scooted on my butt.
Nothing.
Frustration built in me. I worried he had made no door this time. I leaned against a wall and screamed, the sound reverberating in the room until my ears hurt.
Something caught my eyes and I looked up. I wasn’t exactly sure where the ceiling was, but I decided to check it. What did I have to lose?
I pulled myself together and I reached up. My fingers could barely reach it. Damn it. I tapped lightly wondering if that would work, but I could hardly hear any sound.
I jumped. Jumping allowed me to slap the barrier, the sound ringing out. I jumped and rested, then jumped some more. Over and over, determination driving me on – jump, rest, jump, rest. Finally, in the last corner, the sound changed. And joy mixed with exhaustion.
I didn’t want to wait too long. I didn’t know how long I had been here, or how long before Achilah would show up again.
Now, how to get out?
I went to the far corner and stared up at the spot where the sound had changed. Exhaling, I then ran for the corner, jumping up. My body slammed into the wall, my fingers catching and then slipping from an edge I could feel but not see. I fell back to the floor. I stayed there a moment, realizing that this would not be easy. But there was an edge of some sort. And that would be the way I would get out.
Achilah might not have known how I got out before, but he had made it harder this time by moving the door. I wondered if any of my fledgling powers would work here.
“T’Koran!” I shouted, not caring if anyone heard or not. Silence. So that bond was broken in here.
Still laying on the floor, I tried to teleport. Of course, I had no idea what I was doing, but I thought about moving to another point on the floor. Nothing.
I got up and exhaled. I went back to the far corner and tried again. And again. Missing each time.
In anger, I threw myself at the wall. And the room tilted. What the…??? I tried again, and it tilted a little more. Dumb bunny must not have tethered down the room.
I moved to the far side, ran and then jumped on the angled wall. The room tilted, but I tumbled back onto my ass. The wall now was about at a 45-degree angle, but I kept sliding down it if I tried to just climb it. It was hard now to run up it as well, as I had to climb up the floor to get to a place to run from, because, the whole room had tilted.
I promised myself that I would exercise and get into shape when I got out of here because there was nothing worse than depending on your body that was incapable of performing simple tasks to survive. Of course, we all make such promises in times like these and then forget them later when we are safe. But I doubt I would ever be safe. Not if Achilah existed.
I started running in small circles, almost like when I was pacing. I slowly enlarged the circle, climbing a little way up the wall and the floor. Once I was about a third of the way, I changed direction and ran up the wall I was trying to move, stomping and then jumping up to push down hard. The wall tilted more, and I fell.
Breathing hard, I rolled onto my back. The surface felt like it only had a slight angle to it. I sat up and then stood, walking carefully, until I was positioned at the corner. I looked out and noticed that the colors had changed slightly…still bright but moving a little slower. Wow. I wondered what this meant but couldn’t for the life of me figure this out. I turned back and poked at the corner. My fingers went through. Thank god.
It didn’t take long to figure out the door was small; basically, a size that I could barely pull myself through. It would be a tight fit for my shoulders and hips. Not really caring if I lost skin, I pushed my fingers through, feeling the coolness of a floor. I hoped these were the tunnels!
I next pushed my head through, cautiously looking around. Nothing. The floor didn’t give me much traction, but I still slowly pulled myself through. My shoulders got through okay, but my hips got stuck. Damn it! I was not going to be stopped because my butt was too big!
I rolled a little so that my pelvis was more diagonal in the opening and squirmed around. With a pop, my hips came through, with my legs slithering through afterward.
I was in a hallway. Again. I quickly got up and moved, looking for a niche or crevice to hide in. T’Koran!
No answer. I kept moving. I couldn’t stay here if there was a chance that Achilah would return or the room would explode. I also didn’t want to be caught by any of the higher daemons.
T’Koran! Damn it! Why couldn’t he hear me?
Nica! His welcomed voice sounded very far away. Nica, where are you? I breathed out a sigh of relief.
In the daemon tunnels. Somewhere.
I heard stomping steps come closer and frantically looked around. Seeing a little alcove, I slipped in just in time. I barely fit, but I held my breath and tried to imagine myself as a small bit of nothing.
A couple of large ugly daemons passed me, one stopping to sniff. The other said something to it in a language I didn’t know, and then the name Achilah. The other laughed, punching him in the arm and they both moved off, arguing.
Did Achilah now smell human? Or did he get my brother again? I quickly decided I couldn’t worry about it. As long as it kept them from finding me, I would take it as the small ray of hope it was.
Your brother and Kaitie are safe. Malak has been searching for you. It has been a lot of time, but I do not see time like you do. T’Koran’s mental voice was stronger, sounded closer.
I sighed in relief. Should I stay here or move, TK?
Stay there. I am almost there.
I moaned softly. I was exhausted. I had lost a lot of energy fighting Achilah and then had spent a lot of time getting out of that damn box.
I heard some more stomping. Hurry up, TK. More incoming.
I felt a tap on my leg and almost shot out of the alcove.
Shhhhh, Nica! It is only me.
I glanced down and saw the little yellow eyes of my friend. Oh, thank god. I can’t tell you how happy I am to see you, little one.
As am I, Nica. As am I. Let us go. He grabbed my hand and tugged me towards the back wall.
Ummm…TK?
I cannot go through that wall. I resisted him.
False wall. Bigger tunnel. Come now, please, or they may find you. T’Koran tugged harder.
I shrugged and pushed my shoulder against it and it gave suddenly. I fell to the floor on the other side.
Faster, Nica. T’Koran danced nervously on his hind legs before dropping to all fours and scampering forward.
I couldn’t stand, so I crawled after him. I heard a roar behind me and I started crawling faster, my knees aching and sore on the hard surface.
T’Koran stood by another arch and waved me through. Go in front, Nica! I will close this up.
I crawled through into another room, this one with higher ceilings so I could stand. I stood and stretched out my back, looking up. Nothing but darkness. I felt a little pressure pop and then T’Koran stood next to me.
What was that, TK? I glanced around wildly, but I could see nothing.
A jump, Nica. Like a teleport, but only a short distance. It is something us lesser daemons can do when needed.
He moved through another arch. There was a little more light in here, filtering in from somewhere above us. I was just happy to be able to see something.
We may have to stay here for a while, Nica. They are searching for you. This time when you left, Achilah felt it. He doesn’t know how you got out, but he is angry.
Well, I am angry too, TK. I don’t know why he keeps putting me in those damn boxes, but this one was hard to get out of.
He is learning what your capabilities are. He doesn’t know what you are, but he wants to keep you contained. I doubt he will use a box again, though. He is not stupid.
That got my attention. What am I, little Chlarm?
TK shrugged, looking everywhere but at me. Don’t know. Have my ideas, but don’t want to say just yet. Right now, you are mostly human.
I wondered. I thought he knew more than he was saying, but now really wasn’t the time to pressure him. I didn’t want him leaving me in a huff.
What now? I shoved my hands into my jeans, slouching tiredly.