Colt shook his head. “Absolutely not. You’re entirely too cute to make fun of.”
Satisfied with the comment, Hadley turned back to Valerie, and the girls took another bite from each other’s cups.
Colt tried not to stare at Megan as she took another bite of her frozen yogurt. Her cheeks and nose were burnt from the afternoon in the sun, which made her blue eyes sparkle lighter than the noonday sky. Her hair was messy from the day of riding and cornhole playing. She’d traced her fingers through it and pulled the mass of it back in a clip, but it was still messy, and very cute.
He’d wanted time alone with her all day. For weeks, actually. Though they weren’t exactly alone, the girls were so absorbed in each other that this was his chance to talk to her. If only he knew what to say.
“I had a lot of fun today.”
She spoke before he had the chance. He nodded and nudged her with his shoulder. “Me, too.”
He inwardly berated himself. Why had he just nudged her? What were they? Ten years old, and she was his neighborhood buddy? It was no wonder he hadn’t had girlfriends. He had no idea how to interact with women.
He wanted to tell her she was beautiful, to ask her on a date, to tell her she was the perfect woman for him. She was a country girl with a pure heart. She was good with Hadley and easy to be around. She didn’t run around chasing men. He liked that most about her.
“I needed today. To just have fun.” She looked at him. The seriousness in her eyes made him squirm. She lifted her hand as if she were patting the air. “You know. No heavy. Just with friends.”
He inwardly growled. She thought of him as a friend. That was good. Marriages lasted when the husband and wife were friends. His mom and dad had been the best of friends. But they also looked at each other like they’d hung the moon and stars, too. He wanted that from her as well.
He settled back in the seat. It had been a long week for her. Her sister got married. She quit her job. For which he was thankful. And she started her teacher training. He’d give her a week or two. She probably needed a good friend right now. The fireworks would come later.
“How was your training this week?”
She smiled. “It was amazing. I’m going to love it. I should have gone into education from the very beginning.”
“You’ll do great.”
“I think you’re right. It already feels so natural and fulfilling. I’ve always loved kids. I don’t know why I didn’t think of it before.”
“Hello, Megan.”
Megan’s face blanched, and Colt turned toward the male voice.
Justin spoke again. “Hanging out with Colt, I see.”
Colt jumped to his feet and clenched his fists. If the guy wanted to go another round, then he’d be happy to oblige him.
Megan slid out of the booth and stood between them. He didn’t look down at her. He kept his gaze focused on Justin. The man wanted to go another round. The want was plastered all over his face. The skin under his eye was still green. Colt would be sure to find his mark on that spot again.
“Stop it.”
Hadley whimpered from across the booth, and for a moment, Colt started to unclench his fists. Justin grinned, as if Colt was too weak to stand his ground, and Colt straightened his shoulders. This time the guy wouldn’t get in a single punch.
Megan’s hand shoved his gut. “What are you two? Middle schoolers? Stop it, right now. This is ridiculous.”
Justin opened his mouth, and Megan turned toward him. Colt winced when she placed her hands on Justin’s chest. “I won’t have it. I mean it.”
Justin looked down at Megan. His expression shifted, and he looked as if she were the dessert he hadn’t had the chance to eat. He started to lean toward her, and Colt’s muscles flexed.
Before Colt could react, Megan pushed Justin away. “No.” She lifted her finger to Justin. “No. I’m here with Colt.”
Pain washed across the guy’s features, and Colt had never felt such pleasure. Justin didn’t look back up at him but turned on his heels and bolted out the door.
Triumph. He was the victor. Megan had said the words herself. She was with him. Not the no-good, womanizing jerk of an ex-boss.
He wanted to wrap his arms around her. Twirl her through the air proclaiming Megan McKinney had chosen him. She’d said it with her own mouth.
He looked at Megan. Tears welled in her eyes as her gaze studied the door. His heart sunk. If she was his, then why was she watching the door that Justin bolted out of?
Chapter 27
Lead us not into temptation.
Just tell us where it is; we’ll find it.
SAM LEVENSON
Justin’s head thumped as he shifted his sports car into gear and raced down the street. “God, I’ve lost my mind. I was going to get into another fight with that man. I haven’t acted like this since high school.”
He parked in his driveway and jumped out of the car. He raced into the house and grabbed some gym clothes out of the dryer. He wanted Megan. He wanted her with a passion he had never felt. She was the first woman who’d ever told him no. His mind retraced his life trying to remember a time he’d been rejected. Even in elementary school, he landed the girlfriends he selected. He played the positions he wanted in sports. Went to the schools he wanted. Got the grades he wanted. Clothes, toys, electronics, cars, and anything else his heart desired, he got. No one and nothing rejected him.
Now he wanted Megan. And she wouldn’t have him.
He punched the back of the couch as he made his way out the front door. Kirk warned him the Christian life wouldn’t be easy. He’d said things about Justin having to surrender his will to God’s purposes.
He jumped back into the car, threw his gym bag in the backseat, then pounded the top of the steering wheel. The Christian life hadn’t been easy for him. He’d sought out a list of fifteen women to apologize to. Half a year ago, he’d been proud of his little black book. He’d gotten rid of it when he accepted Christ, and truthfully it had hurt.
The wheels of his car squealed when he took a sharp right without braking. “Let’s just be honest.” He spoke to the windshield. “Some really fun times had been had with the girls in that book.”
Things had been simpler for him back then. He got what he wanted when he wanted with no promises of commitment.
He made more money, too. Divorce was a booming business. Lots of people were doing it, and he made a pretty shiny dime off the decimation of marriages. Adoption had proven not quite as popular. He made money but nothing like before. Even cut his bill for a few clients who were slipping into debt trying to finalize their adoptions.
Kirk’s words the night of the men’s retreat slipped through his mind. “It’s going to be harder than you think, Justin. You’ve belonged to the world all your life, and God isn’t of this world. Satan is doing a lot of reigning on earth.”
Justin had been in such a euphoric state, excited about his new faith, eager to serve God. He knew the apologies wouldn’t be fun, and he expected the dip in his finances when he changed what he represented.
After parking in the gym’s lot, he yanked out the keys and grabbed the bag from the back seat. “I’ve done everything You said,” he growled to the Spirit. “Why can’t I have Megan? You know I love her. You know she’s different.”
Ignoring the Spirit’s assurance that God was in control, Justin stormed into the gym. He changed in the men’s locker room then made his way to the treadmill. He turned his iPod to one of his old favorites, a song he hadn’t listened to in months. Skipping the warm-up, he pressed the treadmill’s buttons to a fast pace and ran.
He closed his eyes, trying to rid his mind of Megan’s words that she was with Colt. He focused on the rhythm. His blood pumped, and a pinch formed in his side. He ignored it. The pain felt good. Kept his mind off Megan. Off God.
Someone poked his arm. He opened his eyes. Brandy. He pulled out his earphones.
She smiled at him. “Trying to break the machine?”
&nbs
p; Justin slowed the treadmill and smiled at her. Brandy was the kind of woman he used to like to take out. Long hair, amazing eyes. Legs that seemed to go on forever. The skimpy blue jean shorts she wore were proof of that. Her strapless top did more than hint at what lay beneath it.
He wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. “Just letting off a little steam.”
She shifted her weight to one foot and placed her hand on her hip. “I’m just now getting off. You could shower up, and we could go get a drink.” She shrugged. “Maybe let off a little steam without trying to kill yourself.”
In the back of Justin’s mind, he knew he needed to say no. He’d spent months running away from temptation. Where was Kirk when he needed him?
On a honeymoon with his wife, that’s where. He had what Justin wanted. And Justin was tired of waiting. Tired of trying to fix his life to always have his past thrown back in his face.
Amy had told Timmy he forced himself on her? He knew Timmy had conjured up that story. Still, he’d been hated, accused, and misunderstood more since becoming a Christian than he ever had before. And he was tired of it.
It was time to have a little fun. He looked at Brandy. He could tell she’d be happy to supply it.
He jumped off the machine. “Give me ten minutes to shower and change, and we’ll get out of here.”
Justin took another gulp of the soft drink. He tried to listen as Brandy talked about the unfairness of her university professor for her summer class. He’d forgotten many nights in his past life had gone this way. He’d sit across the booth from a drop-dead gorgeous gal while she whined about one topic or another. He’d feign interest until dinner was over; then his date would hint at dessert. Never one to turn down a bit of fun, he’d comply.
He frowned. I really was a jerk.
“So, did you have Dr. Honeycutt for English 101 when you were at UK?”
Justin blinked. He hadn’t caught the last few things she said, but he shook his head. “I don’t think so.”
“Oh, you’d remember him.” She raised her hand level with her neck. “Really short. Comes up to my neck. Bald head. Wire-framed glasses.”
He shook his head again. He hadn’t had freshmen-level English in ten years. In truth, he hadn’t realized Brandy was quite that young. He knew she was a college student, but … He grimaced. Wait a minute, she was taking English 101. Surely she hadn’t graduated high school just a couple of months ago. “How old did you say you are?”
“Nineteen.” She leaned across the table. “Last year was my first year at UK, but I kinda enjoyed myself a bit much.” She reached over and touched the top of his hand. “I’m taking a few classes over so my dad doesn’t take away my college money.”
His stomach turned. The girl was a baby. Legal. But it was obvious she was not looking for the things Justin now wanted.
Maybe that was a good thing. He’d been playing the Christian card for several months now, and where had it gotten him? A guy lying about him. Several women mad at him. His dad thinking he’d lost all his senses. A dip in his bank account. And it most surely had not gotten him Megan.
He sat up in the booth, determined to pay better attention to Brandy. He’d let the evening play out. Enjoy eating dinner with a woman who wanted to be with him.
“So, where was your gym buddy tonight?”
Justin clenched the napkin in his hand. He didn’t want to talk about Kirk. He didn’t want to think about his friend while he sat across from Brandy. “On his honeymoon.”
Brandy lifted her eyebrows. “The dude got married?”
Justin chuckled. “Yep. Last Saturday. I was his best man.”
Brandy smiled as she twirled her fork through her pasta. “I bet you looked mighty fine in a tux.”
She winked, and Justin warmed at the flirtation. He’d missed this—having his ego stroked a bit. The verbal sparring that was sure to set the mood for romance.
He thought of Megan walking down the aisle in her yellow dress. The one she looked beautiful in, even though she’d been concerned about the color. He remembered her voice, clear and perfect, as she sang to her sister and brother-in-law. The love she felt for them reflected in her eyes. He blinked and shook his head. He would not think about her.
He smiled at Brandy. “I suppose I didn’t look too shabby.”
Brandy placed her elbows on the table then rested her chin in her hands. “Bet it was hard to cage up all those muscles.”
He flinched. He was a good-looking guy. Didn’t deny it. And he’d always loved being flattered by beautiful women, but Brandy’s comment felt wrong. Insincere. Shallow.
He pushed the uneasiness away and grinned at her. “I managed.”
He was determined to have a good time tonight. No thinking about Megan. Or God.
“I’m glad your buddy’s gone. We’ve finally got the chance to get to know each other.”
He felt her foot rub against his leg. He was pretty sure it wasn’t an accident.
“No offense, but your friend kinda gives me the creeps.”
Justin frowned. “How so?”
“Just the way he acts and talks.” She leaned against the booth and flipped her hair behind her back. “Did you know he gave me a business card inviting me to his church?” She huffed. “A business card, for crying out loud. I mean, who does that?”
Justin bit the inside of his lips. When he’d joined his church, he’d included an invitation to the services on the back of his business cards. He’d received several perplexed looks when passing them out, but he’d been eager to let clients and the world know of his newfound faith.
He pushed his plate away, trying to fight the sickness that warred in his belly. “I’m done eating if you are.”
She placed her napkin in her plate. “Absolutely. Let’s get out of here.”
Justin motioned for the waitress then paid their bill. His heart pounded in his chest as he guided Brandy back to his car. Determining to ignore it, he opened her door then raced over to his side and slipped in.
Brandy placed her hand on his leg. He looked at her, and her grin would have battled the Cheshire cat’s for mischief. “Back to your place?”
Justin nodded. “Sure.”
He turned on the radio, and contemporary Christian music spilled through the speakers. He growled as he pulled one of his old CDs out of the glove compartment. The last thing he needed to hear was Third Day belting out about God’s love.
He started the engine. Brandy hummed along with the tune of one of his past favorite songs. The foul language in the lyrics surprised him. Had those words always been there?
Of course they had always been there. It wasn’t like someone sneaked into his car and changed the words of the CD he had put away in his glove compartment.
He glanced at Brandy. Took in the long, tanned legs. Brown hair spilled down the front of her strapless shirt. She winked as she started to sing the lyrics.
His stomach actually hurt now. Acid welled in his chest.
Something he’d eaten had disagreed with him. He pushed back the thought that he knew it was more than that. Stopping at the red light, he realized if he turned left he’d go toward his house. If he turned right, he’d head back to the gym. And Brandy’s car.
His spirit warred within him as he stared at the red light. He didn’t want Brandy. He wanted Megan.
But Brandy would be a nice diversion from the rejection he felt from Megan.
He wasn’t that man anymore. He’d been changed when he accepted Christ.
Didn’t he deserve a little fun? He’d lived his faith for months, yet Megan’s sister still looked at him as if he were the devil himself. Kirk believed Justin would take advantage of Megan.
Okay, so he apologized for that, but his initial response was not to trust Justin. Was living a life of faith really working for him?
The light changed, and Justin continued to stare at it. His mind and body warred about which turn to make.
Brandy pointed toward the windshie
ld. “It’s green.”
He sighed and turned. Within moments, he pulled into the gym’s parking lot. Confusion covered Brandy’s face. “What are you doing? I thought we were going to your place.”
Justin pulled his wallet out of his back pocket then handed her a business card. She shook her head. “I don’t understand.”
“Turn it over.”
She rolled her eyes. “You’re kidding me, right?”
“I wish my faith had been obvious to you earlier. I’m sorry it wasn’t. But I would love for you to join us at worship some time.”
Brandy released a disgusted breath as she opened the car door. “Gimme a break.”
She slammed it shut, and Justin waited until she’d gotten in her car and driven off before he left. He made his way back to his house then flopped down on his knees, resting his head against the couch’s cushion.
“God, You kept me from sin. I was so close. I wanted it, but You kept me strong. Thank You.”
He got off his knees, grabbed his Bible from the end table, and settled into his chair. He opened to Philippians. Even though he had memorized chapter 4 in its entirety, he wanted to read it again.
From the world’s perspective, Paul had everything going for him before Jesus halted him on that Damascus road. Justin smiled at his Bible, “God, when You stop a guy, You really stop him. You change his whole world.”
In the midst of that change, when pain, suffering, trials, and persecutions came along, Paul learned to be content. Justin would do the same.
He looked up at the ceiling. “I still love her, God. I still see her as my future wife.”
Peace swallowed him up, and Justin knew God was in control of all of it. He didn’t want Justin going around acting like a teenager, punching men who were smart enough to realize Megan was the most wonderful woman on the planet. He didn’t want Justin seeking out other women to fill a void that belonged to his future wife.
God wanted Justin to trust Him, so he would.
Chapter 28
I can forgive, but I cannot forget, is only another way of saying, I will not forgive. Forgiveness ought to be like a canceled note—torn in two and burned up, so that it can never be shown against one.
Wedding Song in Lexington, Kentucky Page 22