“Manage away.”
His hand brushed hers as he passed her the keys, and a current zapped her. She turned and climbed into the truck.
“We’ll have to decide about tomorrow,” he said, sliding in on the passenger side and ushering in his wonderful, woodsy scent.
She fumbled with the seat’s adjustment latch. “Huh?”
“Tomorrow. In the morning. When the doctor said I could drive.”
“Oh. Right.” She pulled the seat forward and released the latch. She hadn’t considered tomorrow. It was all she could do to survive tonight.
“The way I see it, you can drop me off now, go home, then tomorrow you can pick me up again, we’ll drive to Molly’s, and you can get the SUV.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
“Or...”
“Or?”
“You could sleep over.”
“I could sleep—” Face heating, she stopped parroting him. He’d probably said that last part half to irritate her. However, it also had the disturbing effect of making her feel guilty. She turned the key in the ignition, and the engine’s roar filled the pickup. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“No, I’m sure you don’t.”
She gripped the steering wheel. Couldn’t he let up for a minute? They’d agreed to a spring fling. If she thought he could live with that, her answer might be different. However, she knew as surely as she knew her own name that he needed more.
During the drive, she fought to remain distant, but an invisible line seemed to cast off him, hook her in the soul, and reel her in. By the time she turned onto Red Rock Road, tension hummed between them—part promise, part threat.
“Want coffee?” he asked as she pulled up to his house. “Or would you rather head back to Molly’s?”
She avoided his gaze. “That’s okay, I’ll come in.” She wouldn’t stay long—she couldn’t risk the temptation—but she couldn’t dump him on his doorstep with a fresh cast. He’d need help getting settled, and she’d volunteered, after all.
His eyebrows lifted, but he said nothing. She climbed out of the truck and fetched Sheba from the back yard. The dog hung her head and slunk toward him.
“It’s okay, girl. You’re forgiven.” He crouched, and the dog sniffed his cast. “Don’t make a mess in the back of my truck again, all right?” He scratched Sheba’s muzzle, his voice gentling. “Although it worked out for the best in this case. You should have seen that bear.”
Jess steeled herself against a lightning-quick image of Adam, boot in position as he waited for the bear to charge. Only this time she visualized a horrific outcome—the bear lashing out and striking him, gashing him, dragging him to the ground.
Stomach pitching, she concentrated on the house keys. After a moment, she succeeded in jamming the correct key into the lock.
She inhaled. She’d just see him settled. Thirty minutes at most.
As Sheba raced toward the kitchen, Adam sat on the chair in the foyer and bent to unlace his work boots. He groped with his left hand and swore. “Damn cast will take some getting used to.” It was a pain in the fricking butt.
“I’ll help.” Jess knelt and carefully slipped off his right boot. His skin warmed as she touched him, and he glanced at her sideways.
“I’m not an invalid,” he muttered.
“I know. But the doctor said to take it easy. I’m here. I might as well help you out a bit.”
He grunted. She could help him out a whole lot if he knew what was going on in her beautiful head. He could ask, but he didn’t want to push his luck—for once—or she might leave.
With a need bordering on desperation, he wanted her to stay. So he stuck out his left foot and let her tug off the other boot like a kid needing help from his mommy.
“There.” She brushed dried mud off her hands. “I’ll put on the coffee and build a fire.”
“A fire isn’t necessary.”
“You want to be comfortable, don’t you? But first the coffee.” She cut a trail ahead of him into the kitchen. Sheba at her feet, she fetched the coffee can from the fridge freezer and scooped grounds into a filter. “Do you have cocoa? I can make mocha instead of coffee.”
Adam withdrew the can of sweetened chocolate powder from a cupboard and handed it to her. If she wanted to play nursemaid, who was he to argue? Besides, he recognized all her hustle and bustle as a ploy to keep her distance from him.
But if she wanted to keep her distance, why was she here?
He filled Sheba’s food and water bowls, then set them in the laundry by her indoor sleeping mat. The dog wolfed down the kibbles with vigor. Stepping into the carport, Adam retrieved three puny chunks of firewood for the fire Jess insisted on building. His sore wrist ached beneath his cast. He might have to break down and take a painkiller.
Entering the house, he nearly collided with Jess. “Sorry.” Her nearness spiraled around him, an intense, compelling vibration.
As if sensing the connection and not wanting any part of it, she stepped back. “You shouldn’t be carrying that.”
“Like hell.” Her exasperated sigh reached his ears. Ignoring it, he strode past her. Sheba, nose buried in her bowl, peered at him but didn’t follow. In the great room, Adam dumped his tiny load onto the hearth.
Moments later, Jess appeared, carrying a larger load.
“Where’s the dog?” Adam asked.
“On her mat.” Jess stacked the wood, then knelt and scrunched newspaper from the basket flanking the fireplace set. “Sit down. I’ve built fires before.” She placed a crumpled ball of newsprint on the grate.
She spoke to him like he was too brainless to add one plus one. Kneeling beside her, he wadded up a second sheet and tossed it in. “Where? In the remote-controlled natural gas contraption you probably have in your swanky apartment?”
Her gaze narrowed. “What’s your problem?”
“You.” And he meant it.
“Me?” Dropping her newspaper, she stood.
“Yes, you.” He got up, arm throbbing. “The coffee, the fire. What are you up to, Jess?”
She flinched. “Why do I have to be ‘up to’ anything?”
“Oh, I don’t know. A few days ago you wanted as little to do with me as possible. Now you’re acting like an overzealous Girl Guide out to earn a new merit badge.”
She rammed her arms across her chest. “Would you rather I leave?”
“No, damn it, I’d rather you be honest with me.”
A crimson stain suffused her face. “I wanted to just do something for you, that’s all.”
“Why? To appease your conscience for dumping me?”
“I did not dump you. I—oh, what the hell?” Her hands scissored the air, voice rising. “Why can’t you accept what I have to offer, Adam? Why do you have to keep pressuring me?”
“I wasn’t aware you were offering, Jess. Sounds intriguing, though. What did you have in mind for the patient? A sponge bath?”
Her gaze snapped. “You know, sometimes you can be a real boor. That’s b-o-o-r, in case you didn’t know.”
Down and dirty. They’d finally lost their minds. But he wasn’t about to stop this train until it ran out of track. “One of my more endearing traits. And better than being a bore, in my opinion. That’s b-o-r-e.”
She glared at him. “This is ridiculous. I’m leaving.” Whirling around, she plowed into a chunk of wood that had fallen onto the carpet. “Damn it!”
“My thoughts exactly.” He balled his good hand into a fist at his side to prevent himself from reaching out to her. “I love you, Jess, but you’re so inflexible in your thinking it’s a wonder we ever got together in the first place. The more I talk to Molly or your mom, the more I think about this great life you supposedly have in Toronto, the more I realize it’s all a sham. You’re not happy living back east. You’re not happy with your globetrotting job. We have a chance to be happy, Jess, but you won’t risk taking it.”
She whipped around, hair flying in her face, bre
ath heaving. “You love me?”
“Damn straight!”
“Well, you have a strange way of showing it! You never stop pushing until you get what you want. Is that it, Mr. Perseverance-is-my-middle-name? I’m a challenge to you, aren’t I? To your damned determination and willpower. But this time it’s not working for you. You can’t fix me, Adam!”
“You’re right, I can’t. You have to do it yourself. Are you up to the challenge?”
“Oh, sure, turn it all back on me.” She jabbed his chest. “I could have lost you to the bush today. You could have been killed by that bear.” Her gaze glittered. “Do you think I’m happy about that?”
“That’s not the point.”
“Grief is a terrible thing, Adam. It eats away at you, bit by bit, until nothing’s left but a husk.” Her voice shook. “Why am I telling you this? You can’t understand.”
“Oh no? What makes you think so?”
“Because! I lost two people I loved more than anything—to those damn woods. And it ripped me up in here.” She pounded her chest. “People say they understand, but they can’t, unless they’ve experienced it.”
“Then here’s a surprise for you, honey. I know grief—I’ve lived it. Crysta was pregnant when she left me. With a baby she didn’t want. But I did.”
Her eyes popped. “Crysta died?”
“No. Won’t you listen? She left town, and I couldn’t find her for weeks. Finally, her mother took pity on me and told me where she was.” Initially, Priscilla Jenkins had vowed secrecy to her headstrong daughter. However, once she’d learned about Crysta’s wild partying, she’d called Adam in tears. “I’ll never forget that grungy Vancouver apartment block, the steep stairs leading to Crysta’s hovel. Only, when I finally caught up to her, she wasn’t pregnant anymore.”
“She had an abortion?”
Throat squeezing, he shook his head. “It was too late for that, but nature took care of things for her. She was seventeen weeks pregnant and hung over as hell when she fell down those damn stairs. Seventeen weeks, Jess.” Ten fingers, ten toes, the little heart pumping blood. If the miscarriage had occurred just three weeks later, his baby would have been considered stillborn, he’d discovered later.
“She’d been drinking and snorting coke. Partying every night, doing whatever she wanted, with whoever she wanted. Letting loose in every way she claimed that I and this town had prevented her from doing. She saw our baby as a burden. When she told me she was pregnant, she didn’t want me to want the baby, Jess. She didn’t want me to want her.”
“But you did.” Jess’s hand flew to her mouth.
He nodded. “I was raised by a father who couldn’t see beyond his own pain for years. Who dragged his family from one logging town to another before realizing he was tearing us apart. When Crysta became pregnant, yes, it was a surprise, but that didn’t stop me from wanting her and our baby, the stable lifestyle I’d never had.” He fisted both hands, the fingers extending from his cast clenching and unclenching. “I grabbed my chance with her, Jess. I grabbed it so hard I couldn’t hear her trying to tell me that she didn’t want what I did. Showing her the blueprints for this house was her wake-up call, seeing how Tim and Molly lived the last straw. She didn’t want a cozy little family life like Molly’s, so she took off.”
“And if she’d told you she didn’t want the baby? If you’d heard her?”
“If she’d agreed to carry the pregnancy, I would have raised our child on my own. But we never had that discussion. Not only because of her selfishness, but mine, too.” He stepped toward her. He yearned to gather her into his arms, absorb her hurt and make it his own, so she wouldn’t have to struggle anymore. He gentled his voice. “So, you see, honey, I do understand where you’re coming from. I won’t pretend our circumstances are the same, because they’re not. But I can identify, and I have moved on. Can you?”
“I don’t know.” Her shoulders slumped. “Oh, Adam, maybe you’re right about me, after all. Maybe there is something wrong with me.”
He closed his eyes for the space of a heartbeat. Damn it, he’d done it now. “Jess—”
“Maybe I have built a sanctuary for myself in Toronto, where no one can touch me, where I can be safe.” Her stricken gaze lifted. “Don’t you get it? Being alone keeps me safe.”
His heart constricted. She painted such a lonely picture. This time, he couldn’t stop himself from reaching out to her. The need to touch her was too strong.
He brushed her arm. “Come on, honey, you’re full of contradictions. Being alone keeps you safe? If you honestly believe that, why did you ask your mother to move to Toronto to live with you?”
“That’s different. She’s family. She’s my mom.”
“All right. So marry me. Then I’ll be your husband, and we’ll be family, too.”
Chapter Fourteen
“MARRY YOU? YOU’RE asking me to marry you?” Disbelief shone on her face, in her eyes.
“Yes, honey, I am.” Clasping her hand, he lifted it to his mouth and placed a soft kiss on her fingertips. “I love you, Jess, and I think you love me, too. Marriage is what I want with you.”
“But where would we live? You belong here, Adam, in this house, in this town, and I don’t know if I’m capable of—” Slipping her hand free, she sank onto a brass trunk near the fireplace and looked down.
He knelt before her. “I won’t lie to you, Jess.” He rested his good hand on her leg, above her knee. Her thigh muscle jumped beneath her jeans. “I’d love for you to move back here and live with me in this house.” She glanced up, and he smiled. “However, I can be flexible, believe it or not.” Please believe it. “I could move east, look for a job with a Toronto consulting firm. Or we could try Vancouver, Victoria, a small town on Vancouver Island.” He caressed her leg with slow, soothing strokes. “Honey, you mean so much more to me than where we are. Any major center, and I’d have to travel for work on a regular basis, but we’d figure it out.”
Her gaze swirled, revealing her tumbling emotions. “But Adam, you would hate the city. It isn’t fair to ask you—”
“Life isn’t fair, Jess.” He pulled in a breath. “Sweetheart, I know this is sudden. You don’t have to answer me tonight, or tomorrow, if that helps. Right now I think I could wait ten years for you to decide if it meant spending my life with you.”
Relief washed over her features. And something else. Hope? Love? He couldn’t tell, and suddenly it didn’t matter. She hadn’t shut him down or pulled away. For once, he’d said the right thing.
He rose up on one leg and kissed her mouth. “Stay,” he murmured. “Please stay with me tonight. In my bed. All night.”
Her lips trembled. “Adam.”
The raw need in her voice unleashed a corresponding burn within him. “No strings, no pressure, no decisions. Just stay.”
He pressed his mouth to hers again, and she leaned into him as if she were melting. Her lips parted and her tongue slipped out to tangle with his.
Silken honey. His lower body ached.
Tearing his mouth away, he tipped up her chin. Desire glimmered in her eyes. He wanted so much more.
He whispered, “Are you sure?”
She nodded.
“Then say it.”
“I’m sure.”
“Louder.”
She licked her lips. “I’m sure!”
It was enough. It had to be. His need for her would drown him if he didn’t find release.
Ignoring the twinge of pain beneath his cast, he urged her to stand, then led her upstairs to his moonlit bedroom. Cherishing her smooth skin beneath his hands, he helped her undress as best he could and endured the sensual torment of allowing her to undress him. She slipped his torn shirtsleeve off his cast, her movements slow and tender. Her honey scent wove around him.
Favoring his broken wrist, he lay with her on the bed. Wanting to touch. Wanting to move. Nearer. Closer. Instead, mindful of his cast, he surrendered the lead in their lovemaking. Murmuring seduc
tive words, he allowed her to set the mood and pace.
She complied. Shyly at first. Then bolder, freer. Avoiding contact with his cast, she feathered kisses onto his chest. His nipples tightened beneath her warm mouth.
Ah, Jess.
As she positioned herself above him, her long curls trailed sensation along his skin. Her eyes glazed with pleasure, anticipation, and the same heat that flared in him.
She shifted again, breasts bobbing above his mouth. He tugged one pointed tip with his lips, then circled his tongue around her nipple. She moaned, straddling him. Her sleek hips rocked against his erection.
Grinding his teeth, he reached for the condom box on the nightstand. However, Jess, without a word, stilled his hand and assumed that task for him, too.
Her fingers pressed the length of his heated flesh, infusing him with the need to possess her. She raised her hips and slowly sank onto him. His breath hissed from his lungs.
She pulled up then sank back down. Hot, wet, slick. Once. Twice. Torturing him.
He groaned and surged into her, fondling her breasts with his mouth and hands. She angled against him, pressing down. Deeper. Closer. So close. Her breath came in short gasps.
Suddenly, she arched with a cry, her inner muscles clenching as she climaxed. Thrusting into her, he released the full force of his love and passion.
Slowly, clinging to one another, they relaxed. He held her in the hushed quiet of the room until she fell asleep. Nuzzling her neck, he glided his hands over her, remembering every detail of their lovemaking.
Remembering it all.
Jess shot up in bed. Heart pounding, she glanced at the blue glow of Adam’s radio-alarm.
Nearly dawn. She’d spent the night. Her mother would be frantic.
Her feet met the cool wood floor before reality descended. At four-fifty a.m., her mother would be fast asleep. In Kamloops—at Jess’s Aunt Marion’s. In fact, probably the only person in the world having a conniption at this particular moment was herself. A grown woman of twenty-seven.
Where She Belongs (Destiny Falls) Page 18