by J.M. Downey
Arther patted him on the shoulder. “We’ve all done this and come out fine.”
“Be a man, Keith,” his father said.
Keith’s body tensed as he curled his hand into a fist. He wanted to punch the man in front of him. His father chuckled, obviously realizing how he felt. He always did that, encouraging his anger, pushing it forward, but then forcing him to control it and use it to manipulate people. Maybe he liked what he saw.
Keith turned to Arther. “Have Sullivan keep an eye on Katie. I don’t like that Jeff. I know he’ll try something with me out of the picture.”
Arther patted Mr. Wilkerson on the back. “See, he’s already turning into you.”
A wry smile crossed Mr. Wilkerson’s face. “I want to see more.”
SIXTEEN
Katie leaned her head on the couch, and reread the poem, “Love’s Sweet Kiss.” She smiled, feeling a warmness spread through her. Keith had such a sweet kiss. It had been three days since she had last seen him and every part of her longed to be wrapped in his arms. How could love take complete control over someone?
Keith had kept his word and called every night, and they would talk for hours, losing themselves in each other’s voices, planning their lives together. She set the book down and picked up another book she was reading. The vibrations of her phone interrupted her. She picked up her phone and answered. She smiled closing her eyes, waiting for his smooth voice to soothe her. “Hey.”
“Hey, pretty thing,” Keith said in an almost quiet voice.
“Keith?” Katie sat up, and brushed a tendril of hair from her face away.
“Yeah.”
She put the book down. “Are you okay?”
“I’m just tired.”
She nodded. His voice almost slurred with the low pitch he spoke in like he dragged his words across a rugged surface. “Well, we don’t have to talk long tonight.”
“No, I really want to hear your voice. What were you doing?”
“I was reading.”
“Will you read to me?”
Katie looked down at the title of her book, featuring a girl in a bonnet staring at a barren field. Safe in His Arms. Not the book for Keith. She looked around and picked up the family Bible and opened to Matthew. Maybe right now would be a good time to start telling Keith about Christ. “Matthew 1:1.”
“If you’re going to read the Bible, don’t read something depressing.”
“Depressing?”
“What could be more depressing than a son sacrificing all for his father?”
Katie raised her eyebrows. If you say so. She thought of the Gospels more as bearers of peace.
She flipped through the pages, and found Psalms. She licked her lips and read, “I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the Lord sustains me.” The soft words blended in with his smooth deep breathing. After a while she stopped.
“Keith,” she whispered.
Only his breath answered.
He must be asleep, but it was not a peaceful sleep. “Goodnight, my love.” She hung up the phone.
She sat the Bible aside and reached for her romance novel, the shrill of the phone broke the silence. She bent her head to the side and reached for her phone. “Hey, Keith.”
“Why did you stop reading?”
“You fell asleep.”
“Katie, I find your voice very calming right now, so keep reading, please.”
“Okay, my love.”
She read to him, and in about five minutes, he fell back to sleep. Katie continued reading for another hour, until his breath became smooth. She blew him a kiss and hung up the phone. Maybe he would find the rest he needed.
Something was wrong with Keith. But what? He called constantly like he’d promised, but sometimes he acted normal, telling her about what he was learning, but then sometimes he was tired. Overwhelmed. He would make snarky comments if she asked something he figured she ought to know – or was angry with her if she didn’t respond exactly how he wanted her to. Katie lay down on the couch and looked at the black phone resting on the chipped coffee table.
Shelly had left earlier with Jeff for the church’s youth group meeting, but she had stayed behind since Keith always called around seven. She needed to be here for him in case he needed her.
Her stomach constricted. Maybe she should have gone. No. The preacher always said that Christians shouldn’t be so devoted to church that they neglected their family and Keith was family. She glanced at the clock again. It was 7:30 p.m. and he had not called. Maybe he was resting. He needed to rest.
Her father came into the room – his brows knit. “Hasn’t called yet?”
“No.”
“Well relax Katie. Something might have come up.”
“Hmm.”
Mr. Morris chuckled and left the room. Katie snatched her phone from the table and pressed the button for Keith’s number.
His voicemail picked up, so she left a message. Something must have come up. Keith was like the sun. He always showed up when he was supposed to.
Katie waited all night, but Keith never called. When she went to bed that night, she put the phone on her nightstand. The next morning, she sprang out of bed, and grabbed her phone to check the messages, but there wasn’t one. He hadn’t called. Tears filled her eyes. Why hadn’t he called? She needed him to. It was her only way to get through the separation. She wiped away the tear that had slipped down her cheek.
Katie waited all day, but never heard a word. It took intense begging on Shelly’s part to get her out the door and to the movies. Katie kept her phone on vibrate, trying hard to focus on the screen. Jeff sat next to her, but she scooted as close to Shelly as she could. That boy had no right sitting next to her, when the man she wanted was nowhere around. She ground her teeth together. She wanted to cover her ears and block out the sound of him, slurping his soda from his straw.
When they arrived home, Katie ran to her room, locked herself in and called Keith, but again all she got was the voicemail. She’d just leave him a message. Katie took a deep breath and let it out in a smooth stream. “Keith, I love you. Please call me.”
Days passed and Katie couldn’t stop crying and constantly checking the phone. She wouldn’t talk to anyone, and spent her time in her room staring at the ceiling, crying. She rolled over and buried her face into her pillow. A thought that wouldn’t leave her echoed through her mind. Keith didn’t want to be with her anymore, and he didn’t want to actually have to break up with her. It made sense. That was why he was short, that was why he hardly wanted to talk, and that was why he hadn’t returned her phone calls. Had he met someone new in London? But he had pleaded with her to remember his love for her before she left Connecticut, like he knew something was going to happen that would make her question his commitment to her. The London story must be a lie – a cover-up for what he was actually doing, but what could that be?
Katie picked up the phone. She couldn’t stand it anymore, just staring at the phone waiting for the littlest bit of vibration. She needed answers. Amanda would know and she’d better tell her.
He looked dead. The color had left his face, leaving just a pale yellow tinge. The handsome cheeks had shrunken, allowing his bones to poke through. Only his sweat matted hair and the small rise of his chest betrayed that he still lived. Amanda ran a hand over his head as another tremor swept through him. He was too far gone from the tranquilizers to even feel her touch. Would he respond if Katie was here? Amanda tears built in her eyes. At least he couldn’t see her cry. She looked at the picture on the ceiling featuring Katie and him kissing. Every now and then he would briefly open his eyes and focus on the image of his love.
Amanda’s phone vibrated. She picked it up. It was Katie. “Hey, Katie.” Her voice sounded too strained. She needed to figure out how to control her emotions.
“Where is he?”
“He’s in London.”
“No, he’s not. Why hasn’t he called me in a week?”
Amanda looked at Keit
h, letting one tear fall. He almost disappeared under the massive black comforters.
“Amanda,” Katie said.
“I don’t know. I just know he’s fine. He’s going to be just fine.”
“Amanda, if Keith wants to end things, he just needs to tell me or someone does.”
Amanda lowered the phone and let a couple tears fall before she held up the phone again. Her voice cracked. “Just hold on, Katie, everything’s going to be fine.”
“Something’s wrong with him?”
“He loves you very much. I’ve got to go now.” Amanda hung up the phone, and turned to Keith. She kissed his head. “She sends her love.”
Katie curled up on her bed, burying her face into the pillow and let out long deep sobs, releasing the emotions she’d been holding all week. The pain was so overwhelming, encompassing every inch of her. Her bedroom door opened, followed by the light steps of her sister. She sat on the bed, and caressed the curls that lay on her back.
“It’s okay,” she whispered.
Katie rolled over and faced the wall. She hated her family. Why couldn’t they just leave her alone? She wrapped her arms around her body, the body she had let Keith love for so many nights and she gagged, as she felt the filth of what they had done spread through her. “Go away.”
“Katie.”
“Leave me.”
The bed shifted and the sound of feet retreating down the hallway filled the silence. Katie squeezed her tear-soaked pillow. Was God punishing her because she hadn’t bent to His will? What a cruel way? To take away what she loved most in this world.
Katie curled up on the couch. Shelly had rented a movie and had insisted that Katie watch it with her instead of hiding in her room. Her phone sat on the coffee table, but it was turned off. No one was going to call, so why bother? Four weeks and not one call. Twenty-minutes into the movie, her father walked into the den, and he held out his phone for her. She looked at him. He had a half smile on his face, but his brows were bent down.
“Who is it?”
“It’s Keith.”
Katie sprang off the couch and grabbed the phone. She ran upstairs to her room, slamming the door shut and locking it. “What is going on?”
“I’ve been busy,” a quiet voice said.
She pushed her hair out of her face. “You liar.”
“Katie, I’m sorry.”
Katie sat on her bed and wiped some tears away. “Relationships are built on trust. What’s going on? You sound so sick.”
“I.” He paused. “I can’t tell you.”
Katie jumped to her feet, shaking her head. Did he think he could just call her when he wanted, expecting her to swallow everything he told her, just because she had let some things go in the past when his baby blues made her forget reason? No. She couldn’t take this. She just couldn’t. “Listen to me. I don’t want to hear from you then.”
“I need your support.” His voice broke. Was he crying? Keith never cried, but remained a strong tower, she couldn’t penetrate.
“I need you to trust me.”
“I….”
“Keith, consider us over. I’ll send the ring to your sister.”
“Don’t, don’t do this!”
“I love you.”
“I love you, too. So stay with me.”
“Bye, Keith.” She hung up the phone, and fell back on the bed, covering her face with her pillow, as the tears gushed from her eyes. Had she really just ended it? The words had just come out, but now there was no going back. She wouldn’t get on her knees begging for him. How could he treat her as if she didn’t matter? Calling her when he wanted. Not telling her what was going on. A pain seared through her chest. She grabbed the fabric of her shirt over her heart and clenched it. The pain was horrible, more horrible than when her grandmother had died. What was she going to do? Just let herself whittle away?
Her father’s phone kept ringing, but she wouldn’t pick up. He pushed the button for the number again, but the voice mail picked up. He cursed his father. This was his fault. Katie would have understood. He had so much power over her. But now she had slipped from his fingers. He called her phone but again the voice mail picked up. She wasn’t going to answer and he knew no one else to call.
He threw the phone against the wall. It broke into many pieces. Amanda sprang to her feet, wrapping her arms around him. “Keith, it’s okay. You’ll get her back.”
He pushed from her and pummeled the nightstand. The lamp and cup of water clattered to the floor. He spun around and screamed a curse, pressing down on his head.
The door flew open as two male nurses rushed to him.
Amanda jumped in front of him, her eyes wide. “He doesn’t need anything,” she pleaded. “His girlfriend broke up with him.”
He did need something. The one thing that always made him calm down, but she was nowhere around. Heat streamed through him, filling every inch of his body. Keith picked up a chair and threw it at the wall. But the heat didn’t release, only grew stronger. The two men rushed to him and threw him down on the bed. Keith punched back. One’s head flew back. The bigger man shoved his arms down as the other injected him with a dose of the tranquilizer. His chest rose and fell with his deep gasps as the drug seeped through him. Her eyes filled his mind.
“We don’t want you to hurt yourself,” one of the nurses said.
How could this man hurt him more than what his father had done? One-by-one, the muscles in his body relaxed as a stillness spread through him. Soon his eyes grew heavy but he wouldn’t close them. Instead he locked onto the picture of them kissing.
Katie rolled over and pulled the sheets down from her face. Her eyes stung. There must not be any more tears. The thought brought fresh tears to her eyes. Why couldn’t she just stop thinking of him? She closed her eyes and felt him all throughout her. If she could only see his face or smell his cologne.
She picked up her cellphone. What? She flipped through the caller ID and noticed that there were 40 missed calls. Keith had called every 15 minutes for quite a few hours. “My goodness.”
Her finger dangled over the button with a green phone on it. It would be so easy to dial the number and tell him she was sorry. But she couldn’t. Then he might always treat her badly. The phone shook in her hand. The phone number was unfamiliar. She shut her phone off. She couldn’t. She just couldn’t talk to him. If she did, she’d fold in an instant.
Katie didn’t sleep that night. When her tears subsided a little, she prayed that Keith would get himself straight, or least give her up. When it began to grow light out, she picked up her father’s phone and blocked Keith’s number from it. She rolled over on her side, and saw the koala bear sitting on her chair. The tears rose up in her again and poured down her face as her whole body ached. What was she going to do?
SEVENTEEN
Keith pulled up to the beach house raised in the air by concrete blocks. The light blue building almost blended into the clear sky line. The beach looked dead compared to the beaches of New York with its long boardwalks and various attractions. The only person on the street was an old man walking a black Lab. He parked under the house, stepped out of the car and took a long whiff of the salty air. At this moment he could go for some salt water taffy. Maybe Katie and he could find some later. But he needed to win her back first.
Two days ago he had gotten out of rehab, and after he’d let his father get a good look at him, he slipped away, flying straight to Raleigh. The man’s cold eyes and the snarl of his lips as he elaborated on why Keith looked like a washed-up street urchin were still burned in his mind. And he had laughed at how Katie had just tossed him to the side. But how could he keep her, if he couldn’t make her believe in the truth he wanted her to see? There was no way, he could convince her he had been in London, but he’d try. At least his father had told him where he could find Katie.
Keith walked up the long wooden steps and knocked on the front door but no one answered. He opened the unlocked door and walked i
nto the small living room, glancing around at the tan furniture with bright blue pillows featuring white sailboats. Seashells filled glass bowls sitting on tables and counter tops. Every inch of the place spoke of the sea, including the sea bark center-piece on the dining room table. What a quaint place. It was the kind of place that Katie would love.
“Katie.” He listened, but he didn’t hear anything.
He walked through the house to the kitchen and looked out a glass door. In the distance he could make out Katie as she and her sister played in the water. For the first time in a while a smile crossed his face. She was so beautiful – like a jewel glistening in the sun.
He opened the glass door and walked through it, making his way to the beach. The hot sand burned his feet as it flicked over his sandals. He got halfway across the sand, and stopped when Katie looked at him. He raised a hand in the air. “Katie.”
Who was that? She didn’t recognize the figure, although the voice muffled by the waves sounded strongly like Keith’s.
“Who’s that?” her sister asked, echoing her thoughts.
“I don’t know.”
The figure walked closer and shouted, “Katie.”
“Keith!” It was him.
Katie ran out of the water, fighting the strong waves, and ran to Keith, her heart pounding against her chest. He had come for her. Her love came to win her back. A shot of energy ran through her. He really did love her. She stopped right in front of him and studied his thin face, with unsteady eyes. He looked like he had been through hell and just came out. “You’ve lost so much weight.”
“Yeah, the food wasn’t that good in England.”
Katie tensed. He was still lying to her. “You know, I don’t believe you were in England.”