by J.M. Downey
Through clenched teeth, she said, “Let go of me.”
Keith threw her back against the door - making her head bang hard against it. Tears swelled in her eyes. Ashley focused on a painting of a red rose, letting her eyes focus. “It’s finally happening.”
“What?” Keith planted his hands on his hips.
“Remember.” She shook her head. “You remember. It was the day before your eighth birthday.”
Keith turned around and stared at the opposite wall.
She walked up to him. “You do.”
“I don’t remember anything,” he said in a low tone.
“Yes, you do. Remember hiding under the bed, because your mother, what was it, she smiled at some guy; just smiled! That day, you promised you would never be your father.”
Keith spun around. “I’m not him.”
“How long till you start hitting her?”
Keith grabbed his coat and flew past Ashley, slamming the door behind him. Ashley fell back against the wall. How long until he would?
Keith sat at a bar at one of his father’s hotels, spinning a shot glass on the red oak bar with a perfect shine. A full heat spread through him. How dare she? He clenched the glass. That whore. Laughter filled his ears and he looked to his side. A dark brunette with cropped short hair laughed at something the businessman said. She looked at him and smiled, batting her eyelashes. Did she think she would get more money from him? He looked away. Women should never cut their hair. He pushed thoughts of Katie’s long curly mane away. He couldn’t think of her now.
“Are you visiting New York?” asked a feminine voice. A tall woman with long straight blonde hair stood next to him, leaning on the counter. She wore a red dress that hung loosely on her skin, making her look classy. A slight rose mist floated from her.
“I don’t pay for sex.”
The woman chuckled. “You think I’m a prostitute.”
“You’re just the type of girl my father would hire to get a little extra from the business men.”
The woman raised her eyebrows. “Your father owns this place?”
Keith turned to the bartender. “Joe, do I pay for drinks here?”
The bartender put down the rag he held. “No, Mr. Wilkerson.”
“Why not?”
“Your father owns it.”
Keith turned back to the woman and slipped off the stool. “Come on.”
Keith rolled over and let his breath slowly slip from between his lips. Katie had no power over him. She’d better remember that. The woman ran a finger down his cheek.
“I guess you get all the girls for free, too.”
“Are you paid to caress my face?”
Her brown eyes narrowed, before she slipped from the bed, and made her way to her clothes. Once she left, Keith rose from the bed, and took a shower. The water fell hard on his back as the steam filled the room. He grabbed the soap and brought it to his chest, but stopped - inhaling the bay rum scent. Let her smell the other girl’s perfume. Let her wonder.
He returned to their apartment, and opened the bedroom door. Katie lay on the bed curled up. He kicked his shoes off, making them pound on the floor. She flinched. Good. He walked over to her, and placed a hand on her stomach, rolling her over onto her back.
“Hi,” he said. She forced a smile onto her tear-stained face as he sat down, leaning over her. Her wide eyes wavered. “Don’t ever do that again.”
“I’m sorry,” she said. He held her face firmly and kissed her lips softly, letting it deepen as her body trembled under him. She would never pull that trick again.
Katie lay in bed, staring at the wall opposite of her. Keith had left hours ago for work, after using her that morning. No, loving her. It was love like he did many mornings. She closed her eyes and images of last night filled her mind like they did every time she tried to rest. He seemed so different. Not the Keith she knew. She wiped a tear from her eye. Perhaps she had been wrong. She shouldn’t have angered him, but used her love to soothe him into her wish. Her phone rang, but the need to answer it didn’t register until she realized it might be Keith.
She rolled over and answered. “Hey,” she said, not even looking at who it was.
“How are you, Katie?”
Katie sat up and placed a hand on her forehead. It was Ashley. What did she want? “I’m fine.”
“Well, can you let me in? I know you’re home.”
“Oh, did you knock? I didn’t hear you.” Katie got out of bed and opened her front door.
Ashley smiled even though there were traces of moistness in her eyes. Something must be wrong. “Want to go to the park?” Ashley asked.
“Sure,” Katie said as she walked back into the apartment and grabbed her purse.
“Katie, you’re still in your nightgown.”
Katie looked at her gown. Her cheeks warmed. She returned to the bedroom she shared with Keith and came back five minutes later in a pair of blue jeans and a sweatshirt with her hair loosely in a ponytail.
A few pigeons plucked at seeds left on the ground, while a squirrel ran up a tree chasing another. Ashley kept looking at her face, so she tried to hide what she was feeling. It probably didn’t work. Her eyes felt so moist, so raw. How much had she cried last night?
“Are you really okay, Katie?”
Katie crossed her arms around her waist. “Keith and I just had an argument last night, but everything is fine.”
Ashley nodded. “What was it about?”
“Oh, I don’t even remember. It was silly. Every couple has arguments.”
Ashley leaned forward. “You still seem hurt by it.”
Katie forced a smile, and closed her eyes as tears filled them.
“It was no simple fight,” Ashley said.
A couple tears fell from Katie’s eyes.
“Did he hit you?”
Katie turned a sharp glance to Ashley. “Why would you think that?”
“Because I know he’s capable of it.”
Katie shook her head. “Keith would never hurt me.”
Ashley looked at the ground. “He came to my place last night.”
“He did?”
“Yeah.” Ashley stood and walked from the bench.
Katie jumped to her feet and chased after her. What in the world was he doing at his ex’s? Hopefully, just looking for advice. “Ashley, tell me about it.”
Ashley turned to her, tears streaming down her cheeks.
“I could lose Amanda over this.” Ashley pointed at her chest. “I don’t know why I’m speaking, except for the fact that I’m so sick of the control they have over the women in their lives. You know, she didn’t want to marry Brandon.”
Katie took a step closer to her. “I promise I won’t say anything.”
“How can I trust you?”
“We’ll share secrets. Keith would be so mad, if he knew I told you this.”
Ashley walked over to her and wrapped her arms around Katie. The scent of her floral perfume surrounded her. This girl held Amanda as a lover, but her as a friend. Katie snuggled her face into her shoulder - her touch soothed her rattled nerves and for a moment she felt the sense of security she had lost last night.
“What happened?” Ashley whispered into her ear.
“He just got mad and....” If she could just hide away. Katie covered her eyes, but the pounding sound rang through her mind. “He locked me in our room and....” Katie let the story unfold while tears rushed down her face. Ashley pulled her close, caressing her back, crying with her.
When she finished, Katie pulled from Ashley and stared into those exotic green eyes. “What happened when he came over?”
She bit on her lips. Please let him have just wanted to talk. Please Lord. She didn’t know what she would do if she found out he’d cheated on her.
Ashley took a deep breath and exhaled out in a smooth stream. “He wanted sex, Katie.”
Katie took a step back. “What?” She was lying. She had to be.
“I think he wanted to hurt you, to prove you have no power over him.” Ashley took her limp hands. “I sent him away. I promise you I did. I imagine he found someone else.”
Not one part of her wanted to believe Ashley. But it was true. She knew it. What did Ashley have to gain from telling her what so many had told her before? Keith slept around. Katie wrapped her arms around her waist. What was she going to do? She couldn’t stay with someone who disregarded their wedding vows. But the thought of walking away sent sharp stabs throughout her.
“Katie, you’ve got to be careful. You’ve to be.”
Katie remained silent.
“Katie, when I rejected him, he threw me back against the wall.”
Katie clamped her eyes tight. He would never do that to her. Never. Ashley wasn’t the woman he loved and maybe he just slightly shoved her.
“I’m sorry to debunk the image of your prince.”
“Do you know how many people he’s slept with?”
“It’s uncountable. He’s so used….”
Katie shook her head. He had lied to her. How did this all start? How had Keith just moved into her life? Right now it seemed like he had been there from the moment of her birth, he had ingrained so much of himself into her. There was never a thought that didn’t center on him. She had denied her faith for him. She looked up at the sky. Was God punishing her? “What am I to do?” she asked.
“I don’t know. You can’t leave him. There’s nowhere you can go he won’t find you. Wilkersons don’t let their women leave.”
“I actually believed he loved me.”
Ashley half smiled. “I don’t know if he loves you, but he’s definitely obsessed with you.”
A smile seeped across her face. At least he did want her, and her marriage wasn’t a show.
“Katie, obsession is dangerous.”
Katie focused on Ashley’s eyes. “I love him. Maybe I can help him.”
“He’s becoming his father, you can’t fight that.”
“But I have to try. I love him.”
“You will fail.”
Katie turned around and watched the children playing in the distance. A young boy with light brown hair kicked a ball up a slide while another young girl tried to catch it. She could do it. She’d find a way.
THREE
Keith leaned over her, kissing her, with his hands immersed into her hair. She wished he would just finish up, but he took his time caressing the curve of her neck with his lips over and over again. For the last couple weeks she had been walking around on her tiptoes, trying not to set off the anger she had seen him display. Their conversations were forced and every part of her cringed when he held out his arms for her, despite how good they felt. She would go to him, trying to soothe him, gently loving him; hoping her love would reach him. At night, she would read him chapters from her romance novels, showing how couples could work through problems, and she mentioned a marriage conflict seminar she saw an advertisement for in the newspaper. He had not shown interest in either. Was any of it working?
He stopped kissing her. Must be time for her shirt to come off. She raised her arms in the air, to make it easier for him. When she didn’t feel him touch her, she put down her arms and opened her eyes.
His arms were crossed over his chest; his brows were knit. “What happened to your touch?”
Katie blinked.
“It’s grown so cold,” he said.
“What are you talking about?”
“You just lay there, and it’s as if you’re gone.”
“I’ve always just laid here.”
“No, you used to caress my back, and say things like ‘kiss my ear a little longer’. Now you don’t.”
Katie forced a smile onto her face. He realized her feelings. She reached up to his cheek to caress it, hoping to see his baby blues fill with desire again, but instead he just turned from her.
“I’m sorry.” She wrapped her arms around him and laid her head on the back of his shoulder. He reached for her hands and squeezed them. She needed to try better – to be more loving. Kissing his back, she inched her lips to his neck. She’d take control. That should soothe him.
Keith stood and walked out of the room, leaving her on the bed.
Keith picked up the book one of the interns had left on his desk. The cover looked silly – a woman looking off into the distance while a young man stood behind her. Just some silly clean romance novel as Katie called it. But she loved these books. He looked at their wedding picture on his desk as he tapped the book. His anger had gotten out of control the other night, but she had no right. He clenched the book in his hands. But still he shouldn’t have gotten so aggressive, nor run to the nearest woman trying to prove he didn’t need her. Especially since he did.
Keith opened the book, reaching for a pen and wrote I love you. He would make her love him again. It wouldn’t be too hard.
Katie rolled from the bed and picked up her nightgown, slipping it over her body. Keith sat up and ran his fingers through his sweaty hair. She was supposed to be gone only a couple minutes, but she couldn’t help it when he flashed his smile and held out his arms for her beckoning her to his side. She had run to him like he was a long lost treasure while Shelly waited in their guest bedroom for her so they could whisper all night. She was visiting during her spring break. Another surprise from Keith.
Katie leaned against the door, letting her gaze roam over his sweaty muscular body. A strand of hair fell across his forehead, sending a spark of energy through her. He was so handsome.
“I’ll see you tomorrow morning, early.” He winked.
Heat spread through her as a giggle escaped from her lips. “I’ll awake you with my cold feet.”
He laughed as she slipped through the door and made her way back to Shelly.
The last couple weeks had been wonderful. He had been sweet to her, bringing her home gifts; not jewelry, but books. He even once brought her home a letter from a foundation to promote literacy in the schools, enabling her to give him a real smile. He had made a very sizable donation in her name. So what if he had a controlling nature? He was obviously working on it and she would continue to help him. They would both give a little, for the sake of their happiness.
Katie turned the bag over and let the pita chips fall into the crystal bowl. They would go well with the le bleu crab dip she had picked up earlier, for the slumber party. She looked at the clock. 9 p.m.. Amanda would be here soon for their small get-together. In front of her, her sister, wearing a pair of green silk pajamas, arranged several magazines on the coffee table. Tomorrow she would be leaving. A dull pain nudged into her heart. She needed to visit her family soon, but she didn’t have much time now that she was married.
The doorbell rang.
“Yay. She’s here,” Shelly said, sitting on the couch and bouncing her feet.
Katie folded the bag and dropped it in the trash before she made her way to the door. She opened it and took a step back, gripping the handle and half hiding behind the door. Ellie gave her a seductive smirk. What was she doing here? She wasn’t supposed to be included.
She kissed Katie on the cheek and said, “brought something for you.” She held up a six-pack of Smirnoff. Someone told her.
“Welcome.” Katie turned from the door and greeted Amanda. That girl better behave tonight, or she would kick her out.
“Hey Ellie,” Shelly said, embracing the girl, who twirled one of Shelly’s curls around her finger.
Katie crossed her arms. She could at least be less flirtatious with her sister.
The girls sat on the floor and joked about a movie they had watched. Ellie had set a drink in front of Katie, but she didn’t touch it. She leaned against the couch and watched her sister immerse herself into Ellie’s world. The girl laughed at jokes she barely got the meaning of, the hidden meanings clear to Katie. She’d have to keep an eye on Shelly tonight.
Ellie finished her first drink, laid the empty bottle down and made it spin until it stop
ped at Shelly.
Her sister started laughing. “What ya going to ask me?”
Ellie smirked. “Are you a virgin?”
“What do you think?”
Katie glared at Ellie, but she turned her gaze to the door as it opened and Keith walked in.
“Hey ladies,” he said. “Having a party?” He dropped his briefcase on the floor, and his coat right next to it.
Katie smiled, but he looked at Ellie. There was a wildness about her eyes. Keith nodded before he went to the kitchen. He returned with a beer and sat on the couch with his legs right behind Katie. She looked at him. He raised his eyebrows to acknowledge her right before he took a sip of the beer. He looked tired, there was a heaviness under his eyes.
“Katie, are you playing?” Ellie asked. Katie turned back to the group.
Ellie placed her hand on the empty bottle of Smirnoff and spun it, giving Katie a seductive smile. The bottle stopped in front of Katie, making her flinch. She turned to Keith who looked at the bottle with the tip of his beer resting against his chin. His eyes looked unsettled. What was he thinking?
“Katie, I have the perfect question for you,” Ellie said as she got on all fours, revealing the tops of her breasts, and crawled over to Katie. She sat about a foot from her. “Have you ever wanted to kiss a girl?”
Katie placed her hands on the floor behind her and leaned back. “No.”
“Keith likes to see girls kiss.”
Katie’s mouth fell open. She looked at her husband. He had just taken a sip from his beer, when she noticed the look in his eyes. A fixed look that was slightly wide, and full of a brightness. He bit on the side of his lip. She looked down at his free hand, which clenched the cushion of the couch. Ellie told the truth.
“Keith, want me to kiss her?” Ellie said.
Keith set his beer down on the table next to the couch, and got onto the floor. He sat right next to Katie, and leaned so his face was right in front of Ellie, blocking her view. “She’s off limits,” he said.
A smirk slid on her face. “Just like that fifteen-year-old girl.”