by Sam Crescent
Chris heard the pain in his father’s voice. For him to be talking so openly, Chris knew his father was on the verge of giving up.
“Then prove it to her by your actions. Your words have done more damage than they’ll ever repair. Show her with your actions what you mean.”
David nodded, and Chris knew he had no idea how to prove his love to Molly. “When was the last time you took her out to dinner?”
“Years. Actually, I don’t think I’ve ever taken her out to dinner. Not even on our anniversary.”
Chris shook his head at the older man’s stupidity. Over the years he’d seen the way his parents responded to each other, and he had thought that was love. What he’d seen was the love Molly held for her husband.
“Thank you, son. I appreciate it.”
“Don’t screw it up. I know what it means to hurt the woman you love.” Chris drained his glass and stood. He went to his bedroom and froze when he saw Cassie seated by his door.
“I wondered when you’d get back.”
“What does Blaze think of you waiting outside of his brother’s bedroom?” he asked.
She gave him a condescending look, which he thought was cute. “I’m making sure you haven’t hurt Erica in some horrid way.”
“We had fun. I took her out to dinner and then dropped her off home. We’re seeing each other tomorrow.” He let himself in, not surprised when she followed him inside. Befriending her was a big mistake. When he sat down and thought about it, Cassie was the only friend whom he trusted.
“No lip locking action or feeling up?”
He pulled his jacket off then turned to face her. “I’m sorry, but when did my private life become part of your life?”
“When you began meddling in my own life and I had no choice but to deal with it.” She sat down on his bed.
“You’re happier for my meddling. You’ve got Blaze, and that bitch, Francesca, is out of your life.”
“I know. I’m meddling because I think you’d screw up your own life.”
“Charming.” He couldn’t argue with her. When he was around Erica, he always managed to say the wrong thing.
“Where are you taking her tomorrow?” she asked.
“Picnic on the beach. I’ll need help preparing one for tomorrow.”
“I’ll help. I’ll get all the gossip from Erica, you know?” Chris knew. He liked the thought of Erica having someone to talk to instead of being alone. “Okay. I’ll leave you alone, but only because I need some sleep. I can’t wait to see how you are tomorrow.”
She was at the door ready to close it behind her. “Cassie?” She turned to him. “How have my parents been?”
“They’re always silent or shouting. Blaze Jr. tends to leave a room when he hears them. I think Blaze wants to leave early because of the shouting.”
Chris nodded, said goodnight, and watched as the door closed.
His father had so much stuff to make up for. They both did. At the thought of Erica, Chris cheered up and got settled into bed. Tomorrow he would begin the seduction he should have done three years ago.
Chapter Five
Monday morning, three years ago
Chris stared out of his office window. Staff were coming in and getting ready for the day ahead. He’d spent all weekend making love to Erica Black. He’d dropped her back home Sunday night. Her eyes had been filled with love for him. This morning, he’d driven by her house, hoping to catch a glimpse of her. The way she invaded his every waking thought scared him. No woman controlled Chris Sinclair. He loved women and discarded them.
He walked back to his desk and slammed her personal file shut. By the end of the day she’d be as far away from him as possible. Her virginity, her pleasure, would become a distant memory like so many others. Chris was determined not to turn into his father. A love-sick fool who stayed devoted to one woman. Molly suffered daily because of that bastard. Chris was determined not to suffer the same fate as his parent.
She arrived at the office at eight-thirty. Her suit was pristine, moulding to every delectable curve of her body. A body that he’d had the pleasure of awakening. She placed her bag by her chair, her jacket on the rail by the corner. Her computer was fired up. He’d observed her morning routine many times, and he knew she’d be entering his office shortly.
On time, a coffee cup in hand, she entered his office. A blush stained her cheeks, and a smile graced her lips. She looked so happy. His stomach took a dive. She looked so in love. He refused to believe he could feel the same. Love was for fools who didn’t know how to control themselves.
Her steps stumbled when she saw his face. The smile was replaced with concern.
His cup went to his desk. Her hand shook, which caused some of the liquid to spill over the rim. Chris cursed, making her jump more. She tried to clean the mess but only succeeded in spilling more of it.
“Stop,” he said. She paused, pulling away. He cleaned up the last of the mess. She stood on the opposite side of his desk, her hands twitching together in front of her. She looked terrified.
“I’m sorry.”
“Did I say you could speak?”
Erica shook her head. The golden strands were highlighted from the sunlight shining in his office. Chris wanted to reach out and touch the strands. The silky smooth feel of her hair as it glided through his fingers was still clear to him.
“I’ve decided it’s not working out. You’re going back down to handling the mail and delivering drinks to people. You clearly haven’t got what it takes to be working so high up the ranks. This will be effective immediately.” Chris knew he had to get her away from him. He wasn’t ready to give himself to any woman.
“What? I don’t understand?” She looked confused and heartbroken.
“You’re not working here anymore. Go back downstairs. Helen is waiting with your old badge. Your file has already been updated with your demotion.” He placed the file in the tray, sitting at his desk. In his mind she had been dismissed.
When she made no move to leave, Chris looked up. Her arms were wrapped around her stomach. Her tears were spilling down her cheeks.
“Was I not good? I thought this weekend.” She stopped, turning to look at the wall.
“Honey, this weekend was great, but did you really think anything would come of it? We had fun.”
“That was more than fun.”
Chris gripped the edge of his desk. He knew he was about to hurt her. “You’ve got a lot to learn about men, baby. This weekend was a bit of fun. I wanted to see what you’d look like with your legs wrapped around me as I sank into your cunt. I got what I wanted, and now I’m done. Deal with it. I’m sure it won’t be the last time you’re used for pleasure.”
****
Chris came out of his nightmare, gasping for breath. He recalled the words he’d spoken, the way he’d treated her after spending the best weekend of his life. Chris sat up in bed, checking the time. It was only four-thirty. The same nightmare had plagued him ever since he’d spoken the words to her.
Erica had become his whole world, and at the same time, she ceased to exist. He’d not taken any other woman to bed. For the tabloids he’d escorted beautiful models and actresses, but none of them went to bed with him. For the past three years the only loving relationship he’d had was with his hand.
He walked into his bathroom. Turning on the light, he glanced at his reflection. He looked like shit. The grey at his temples appeared more pronounced. Aging didn’t bother him as much as he thought it would. Being alone and old bothered him. He wanted a family with Erica. Splashing water onto his face, Chris cleared the last of his nightmare away. It was hard to do as he knew it was the reality of his life as well as the remnants of a dream. Pushing his thoughts back, he climbed back into bed. Thoughts of Erica and the picnic he had planned helped him to drift off to sleep.
Chapter Six
The following morning, Chris walked downstairs and saw his father burning something on the stove. Trent was reading a book whil
e John and Luke were texting on their phones. Blaze and Cassie were nowhere in sight.
“Where are the others?” he asked, grabbing an orange and sitting down at the table.
“David is attempting to cook mum breakfast. If she eats anything this morning I’ve got the ambulance on speed-dial,” John, his youngest brother, said.
“How many times have I told you to call me ‘dad’?”
Chris watched as John shrugged his shoulders, Luke smirked, and his father went red in the face. Molly walked into the kitchen several minutes later.
“What is that smell?” she said. A hand went under her nose.
“Your breakfast, mum.”Trent told her. Chris couldn’t help but laugh at her expression. She went pale then a shade of green.
She walked over to her husband. “Let me do that.” Chris watched her reach out, and her father scowled at her.
“I can cook some bloody breakfast without your interference,” David yelled.
The damage was done. Molly went paler, and Chris cursed. Luke and John stormed out of the kitchen, frowning at their father.
“Fine.Trent, would you like to go out for breakfast?” Molly picked up her bag, walking away from David.
“I’m making you breakfast, woman,” David said.
Chris shook his head. His phone in his pants vibrated.
“No. You’re making a mess and nothing edible. I’d rather get my own breakfast, thank you.” She walked out of the kitchen with her head held high.
Trent followed behind her. Chris checked his phone. It was a message from Cassie, letting him know the picnic was set up and in the fridge.
He grabbed the wooden basket, checking the contents when David threw all the breakfast things into the sink. The sound of broken glass echoed ‘round the kitchen.
“I give up.”
“Shouting at her when she was trying to help wasn’t your smartest move,” Chris said.
“Don’t talk back to me, Chris. Not now.”
Chris shrugged at him, lifting the picnic hamper onto his shoulder. “You’re not going to win her back like that. Maybe you really want to be alone.”
He left the house, getting into his car and driving off. He didn’t want to deal with family drama. Erica sat out on the front porch when he drove up. Ben was with her. Chris counted to ten before getting out. She wore a beautiful pale blue dress, the thin straps exposing her arms and the top part of her chest. The dress fell to her ankles. Her blonde hair was tucked into a clip at the back. She looked like a vision of purity.
“Hi. I didn’t think you’d show,” she said. The damage he’d done to her had caused this doubt. He would never give her a chance to doubt him again.
“I overslept, and then there was a family disaster.” The closeness between them was missing. He scowled at Ben.
“Why don’t you go and get your stuff, Erica? I’ll keep him company.”
Erica nodded, leaving him alone with the jerk. Ben closed the gap, standing close to him. Chris was a few inches taller, which added to his threat.
“You’ve hurt her before.” Ben snapped the words at him.
“Back off. I may be forty years old, but I can take your fucking ass and make you look like a baby,” Chris said. Growing up in a houseful of brothers had kept him at the peak of fitness.
“I don’t think you’ve got it in you.”
Chris saw Erica coming back out. “Let’s get something straight. I love Erica. I always have, but I was too stupid to say anything. I’m never going to hurt her. This is my last chance with her. Back the fuck off. I may be a businessman, but I’m a fucking mean ass fighter when I need to be.”
Ben stared up at him. Erica was putting on her sandals.
“She likes looking at flower and water gardens. Treat her right, or I’ll take you out.” Ben turned, embraced Erica, and left.
Chris watched him go before taking Erica and helping her into the car. “What was that all about?” she asked.
“I think your friend was protecting you. He promised to kick my ass if I didn’t treat you right.”
She chuckled. “That is so like Ben.”
“I thought you were dating him?” He got into his side of the car, starting up the engine.
“We were. Things didn’t turn out as we planned them. I thought we were going to the beach. We can walk from here.”
He smiled. “We’re going to a secluded part of the beach.”
“Yeah? What makes it secluded?”
“It’s Sinclair territory.” He pulled the car onto the road.
“How was your night?” she asked.
Chris thought about his nightmare. He knew he needed to talk to her about it. “It wasn’t good. You?”
“I slept fine. Why didn’t you?”
He overtook a van then pressed on the gas. “I dreamt about Monday morning three years ago.” She let out a gasp. The tension in the car built. “I know I shouldn’t bring it up.”
“Do you dream about it often?” she asked.
“Enough to lose sleep over.”
They drove in silence until he parked the car. He turned off the engine before turning to her. “If I could change what I said and did back then I would.”
“I know.” Her words were a mere whisper, and he struggled to hear them. He knew she didn’t believe him.
“I know you don’t want to talk about the past because it hurts. However, I need you to understand some things.”
He stared at her face and saw she’d gone pale from his words.
“I don’t want to relive the past, Chris. It hurt too much to live it then.”
“And while it is between us we can never get past it. Please, hear me out. Once I’ve explained some things if you want to go home, I’ll understand.”
Chris waited for her to nod her head. “I come from a fucked up family.”
“Who doesn’t?” He went on regardless of her interruption.
“My father, David Sinclair, is under the impression that we only love one woman. He married my mother when he was very young. She gave birth to Blaze, then to me, and during her third and final birth, she died bringing Trent into the world.” He stopped, recalling the pain of learning his mother was dead and the happiness of having a baby brother. “Trent came home, and dad turned to ice. He wasn’t the fun, happy-go-lucky kind of guy anymore. Anyway, years went by, and then my father met Molly.”
He paused to make sure Erica was up to speed. All the names of his family and the circumstances could be confusing, even to him.
“She was younger than my dad. She took care of us, and before we knew what was happening, my dad had married Molly.”
“This story isn’t that bad, Chris.”
“My dad has spent the last twenty-five years of his life with Molly treating her like she was second-best. Everything she does is not as good as his first wife. My dad died when my mum did. Molly has spent a great deal of time loving a man who refuses to love her back.” He stopped, licking his lips. “Four years ago, a blonde haired woman, with a sweet smile and wonderful laugh, walked into the Sinclair building looking for a job. Three years ago, a very stupid man broke her heart because he was too afraid to give himself over to love. I don’t want to make excuses, Erica. Watching my parents and Molly and seeing what love did to them, I saw it as nothing but poison, an excuse people used to hurt others. I’m not excusing what I did or said to you. What I’m saying is, now I’m wiser, and I swear I’ll never do anything cowardly again.”
Chris got out of the car, grabbed the picnic and shut the door. He leaned in the open window. “I understand if you don’t want to come. I’ll give you a few minutes, and if you want me to drive you home, come and tell me.”
****
Erica stared at his retreating back. His story was sad, but everyone had a fucked up family. She knew she couldn’t stand being near her relatives. What she needed to remember was that everyone was affected by their families’ events differently. Chris had been affected because of what he’
d seen. She needed to respect that.
Rubbing her hands down her legs, she thought about the happiness she’d felt with him when she was with him. When they were alone, he had become a man she had grown to love. She still loved him. Her feelings would never change. Part of living life was putting your heart on the line. Sighing, she unbuckled her seat belt. If she went to him and asked to be taken home, she’d turn out like her mother. A bitter woman with nothing left of her other than a shell that she plied with drink. Opening the door, Erica knew she was determined not to turn out like her mother. She followed the path he’d taken. He sat on the blanket he’d laid out. Items from his basket were spread out around him. He was looking out at the ocean giving her time to gaze at him.
She sat down next to him on the blanket. Her leg rubbed against his. For several moments neither of them spoke. No one needed to say any words. They lay together, side by side, with the beach and ocean in front of them. No one was around to ruin the moment for them.
His hand went around her back, resting on her hip. The heat of his touch felt like he was touching naked skin.
“I want us to try,” she said, turning to him.
“Then we’ll try. I want you to meet my family.”
Erica laughed. “We’ll try, meaning taking things slowly, and you want me to meet your family, which is the complete opposite.”
“I love it when you prove the statement about blondes.” She knew he was teasing, and she slapped him on the chest.
“That was cruel.” He lay down, taking her with him. She gazed at the clear blue sky and the sun shining down on them.
“I’m not going anywhere this time, Erica. I want you to meet my crazy-ass family. You might run away when you meet them.”
She chuckled. “If that’s the case, you’d better meet mine.”
“I didn’t know you had family.”
“What? You thought I’d fallen out of the sky like some alien or something?”
“Or something.” He laughed. “You never talked about them, so I figured you’d lost them.”