André breathed a sigh of relief. “Gladly.”
“I’ll tell him you’re here,” Doc said, “but I fear he’ll be none too happy.”
“Pride goes before a fall,” she reminded them. Her hand came out to block the doctor’s entrance into Jake’s room. “I’ll tell him I’m here myself.” Her chin lifted. “I can match Lannigan stubbornness any day of the week.”
André grinned. “You are very brave, my little friend. I must warn you that he is not in the most sociable mood.”
Tess reached for the doorknob and turned it. “Good. Neither am I.”
Her heart pounded at the thought of finally getting to see the man she loved. She couldn’t wait one more minute. She slowly entered the gloomy room, her eyes trying to adjust to the dim light. Although the window was open a crack to let in some fresh air, someone had drawn the shade. Jake lay on the bed with his eyes closed.
Taking a deep breath, she let her gaze move to the area beneath the sheet where he was resting his injured right leg. Catching her breath softly, she bit her bottom lip as compassion coursed through her. Drawing a second deep, cleansing breath, she moved silently toward him, relieved to have the first shocking sight over with. She was glad she had been warned. He looked pale and beaten.
He had always been such a vital force, so tall, so proud, so very much his own man—and he would be again. The Lord was faithful. He had allowed him to survive, and now He had answered her prayers to reach him.
The task that lay ahead would not be a simple one, but she knew, now more than ever, that she would be his unending source of strength. She vowed to stay by his side, no matter what.
“Who is it?”
The familiar sound of his voice sent goose bumps racing down her spine. “Come to empty yore slop jar, sir,” she said in a soft drawl.
His eyes slowly opened. “Tess?”
She moved swiftly to his side. “Yes, my love.”
Taking his hand, she gazed into the depths of the most troubled hazel eyes she’d ever seen. For the briefest moment, she caught a glimpse of his intense pain.
“What are you doing here?” he whispered.
“Where else would I be?”
Heartbroken, she saw tears rolling from the corners of his lids. “Why…why did you come back now?”
“Because we are in love, and we should be together.”
“No.” He turned his head away.
She placed her hand on his cheek and turned it back gently but firmly. “Yes.”
“I’m going to lose my leg. I don’t want you to see me like this.”
“Listen to me, Jake Lannigan, a leg wouldn’t matter to me—do you understand? No matter what happens, even if someone chopped you into tiny pieces, that wouldn’t change my love for you.”
“Go back where you belong. I don’t want you here.”
“You can’t make me.”
“There’s nothing here for you now.”
“You are.”
Rolling to his side, he turned his back to her.
With a sigh she pulled a chair up beside his bed. It was clear he thought he’d given the final word. “All right. I’ll permit this maudlin act for a while longer. I know the accident has been a terrible shock, but I won’t let you roll over and die, Jake. Someday very soon we will have to get on with our lives.”
“Go away.”
“Not as long as there is breath left in my body.”
“Where’s Talbot?”
“Um, I think he and Echo are on their honeymoon. Europe. A two-month cruise. Very urbane.”
His head lifted ever so slightly from the pillow and he frowned.
“Go to sleep, grump. There’s too much to explain right now.”
He refused to answer.
And that was how they went on. For days Jake refused to speak or eat or bathe. And when the days had turned into a week, Tess finally began to lose patience with him. He was drowning in self-pity, and she realized she had to take matters into her own hands.
One morning at the beginning of May, she entered his room with a tray loaded with bacon, eggs, flapjacks, and hot coffee. The pleasant aroma drifted through the room as she set the tray beside his bed and stepped over to open the window. “Good morning, darling!”
He barely glanced at her before he rolled over and presented his back to her, just as he’d done many times before. Today, however, was going to be different.
She walked to the bed, lightly smacked him on the rump, and taking him firmly by the shoulders, she eased him over onto his back. After tucking a napkin under his unshaven chin, she brought the first forkful of eggs to his mouth. “Open wide.”
He refused, staring back at her with a stoic, silent resentment, but she calmly held the fork to his lips. When he opened his lips to complain, she quickly put the food into his mouth. At that point, he was forced to chew or strangle.
Before he could catch his breath, a forkful of pancakes followed, and then more eggs, and then a strip of bacon.
“You’re choking me!” he sputtered.
“I’ve given it serious thought,” she agreed, “and you’re not out of the woods yet, but if you’ll eat three more bites without me having to manhandle you, I’ll spare your life—today.”
“Miserable pest!”
“Oatmeal next?”
She heard his stomach growl when she brought another bite of pancakes to his mouth. “See how good this is? Mmmm.”
“Put more butter on those things,” he grumbled. “Hay tastes better.”
She smiled. “Put it on yourself.”
The next morning she carried a basin of water and fresh towels into his room. “Good morning, sweet thing.” As usual, she was met with stony silence, but she walked to the window and threw the curtains open wide.
Jake’s hand shot up to ward off the deluge of bright sunshine. “Don’t you have anything else to do but torment me?”
“No, I’ve made that my life’s goal.” She loomed over him menacingly. “Guess who gets to give you a bath this morning?” His eyes widened, and she almost laughed at the horror she saw in them. “The doctor tells me you refuse to do it yourself, so I’m thinking maybe I’ll give it a try. And that beard definitely has to go.”
“Over my dead body!”
“I’m not looking for trouble, but if you want it, mister, you’ve got it.” She reached out to unbutton his nightshirt. His hands shot out to stop her. She was surprised to find that his strength had not diminished much over the weeks of convalescence. He was as the doctor had said—strong as ten men.
“I would hate to floor you, lady.”
“Not half as much as I would hate to be floored.” She shoved his hands aside and continued with her work while he stared at her in disbelief. “What’s going on with the schoolhouse?” she asked. “Any progress?”
She knew he wasn’t going to answer her, so she thumped him gently on the ear and asked again, “Have you built a new schoolhouse?”
“King Davis burnt the old one to the ground the day you left,” he snapped.
“Well, good for King. Now you’ll have to build a new one if you haven’t already.”
Peeling off his shirt, she let her eyes linger momentarily on his broad chest before she dipped the cloth into the warm water and lathered it with soap. His hand moved quickly to block her efforts, and their gazes locked in a stubborn duel, but she refused to back down.
“You are not going to wash me.”
“You’re too sick to stop me.”
“I am not sick. I’m an invalid, and you’re not going to wash me.”
“You’re an invalid then. You can’t stop me. You can’t get out of bed. Once I’m through with your torso, then I have to wash your legs and your feet. Doc said so.”
His expression turned from irritated to wounded feelings. “I can get out of bed. I don’t happen to want to get out of bed.”
“Then you will have to endure being bathed like an infant every morning,” she said simply. “Yo
u’re not going to make everyone else suffer because you’re too lazy to wash.” She slapped the cloth to his chest with enough force to take his breath away. Her eyes openly defied him to stop her. “And if you don’t pipe down and let me get this over with, tomorrow morning I’ll start with your bottom first.”
A deep red color crept up his neck. “Where is André? Tell him to get in here!”
“André’s busy.” She was happy he was getting so riled up. It was the most life she’d seen in him since she’d arrived.
“Doing what?”
“Running my business, of course. Because you’re too irresponsible to do your job, he’s doing it.”
“You’re letting André do my job?”
“Well,” she shrugged, “someone has to see that Wakefield Timber runs smoothly.” When she went to draw the sheet back, he reached out to jerk it back angrily.
Steeling herself, she grabbed it back and hung on until she dislodged it from his deathlike clutch. Thrusting it aside, she saw the neatly bandaged leg he had been trying so hard to hide from her.
A tense silence fell between them. The sight was one she would gladly have forfeited, but she knew it was one more milestone that had to be faced. Willing her features to remain expressionless, she began to carefully clean around the bandage.
“It serves you right,” he accused.
“What serves me right?”
“Seeing my leg. Are you happy now?”
She realized he was embarrassed, and she ached for him. “I wish it was well,” she said softly, “but since it isn’t, we have to deal with it. If it can be saved, so much the better. But if you lose it, Jake, well, it will only make me love you that much more.”
“I don’t want your pity!”
She draped the sheet neatly back in place. Meeting his accusing gaze, her temper flared. “Pity! You think I pity you? On the contrary, you infuriate me! You pity yourself, Jake Lannigan! I’m here because I love you, not because I feel sorry for you.” She closed her eyes and fought to get her emotions under control.
She was met with silence again. After rinsing out the cloth, she lathered it up again and lowered her voice. “You might as well get used to me being here. I’m all yours. My hopes, my hurts, my fears, and most of all, my love. Now, I can wash the remaining area or you can. Which will it be?”
“If it’s washed, honey, you’ll wash it.”
She shrugged and flipped back the sheet. He grabbed the fabric and stared at her. “So help me, I’m getting out of this bed—”
“God helps those who help themselves, so I doubt that He has time to listen to an otherwise healthy man like you whine all day.” She met his gaze. “He has been very good to you, Jake. He’s given you a fine strong body and a woman who loves you more than anything on earth. You should be ashamed of the way you’re acting.” She picked up a container of cornstarch and opened it. “This will make you more comfortable during the warmer weather.” White powder fogged his head as she dusted away.
“Stop putting that girlish stuff on me! You read to Frank Kellier when he was injured! Why are you torturing me?”
“You are torturing yourself.” She gathered the basin and towels and walked out, leaving him to rant and rave for as loud and long as he wanted. But she smiled when she recalled that he remembered and apparently resented her visits with Frank.
When she entered his room the next day, he was sitting on the side of the bed waiting for her. He was cleanly shaven, and everything on his breakfast tray had been eaten.
“Good morning, my love.”
“Just leave the soap and water.”
“Sorry, I can’t do that.”
“I’ll bathe myself this morning.”
Her eyes locked with his. “Well, that must mean you’re feeling better.” Finally, he gave her a brief nod and then turned his back, but she didn’t dare smile. “Good.” She walked over to arrange the basin and soap before turning and straightening the bed. “Looks like your appetite’s returning.”
“I’m only eating to get enough strength to get away from you.”
“You couldn’t possibly eat that much.”
“Humph!”
“It’s a lovely day. Why don’t we go outside? A little sunshine will do you good.”
“How am I supposed to get out there? Crawl on my belly like a lizard?”
She turned to look at him. “What are those wooden things propped next to your bed?”
His eyes snapped fire when he reached for the sticks and then flung them angrily across the room. “Crutches! I’ll not use them!”
Tess calmly walked across the room, picked them up, brought them back, and stood beside his bed. “Think again.”
32
Days slowly passed, but Tess was pleased that eventually Jake began to regain his will. His pride was slower to heal, but she started to see small signs that it, too, would mend. They spent their mornings sitting in the sun talking while she sewed. Minor skirmishes inevitably erupted, but they came with less frequency now.
“You know, it really burns me up the way you keep doing that to me,” Jake complained.
“Doing what to you?”
“Jake, you’re going to eat—no, I’m not—yes, you are. Jake, you’re going to wash—no, I’m not—yes, you are. Jake, you’re not an invalid—Jake, use your crutches. What kind of a way is that to treat a man in my condition? Are you trying to humiliate me?”
Tess continued to sew. “Well, you’ve guessed it. The moment I’d heard you might lose your leg, I told Talbot I’d have to interrupt my wedding and come quickly so I could make fun of you. He was most understanding. Actually, he’s a swell person.”
He glanced at her. “I don’t find that amusing.”
“When are you going to stop feeling so sorry for yourself? You could be in worse condition. Look at poor Frank. He did lose a leg. What if you’d lost both legs in the accident? And while we’re on the subject of what’s amusing and not, I didn’t happen to find it very funny when I was the one involved in an accident. I was the one who lost her memory, and you told me I was the new schoolteacher. Ha-ha. Not funny.”
“I didn’t tell you that.”
“You didn’t bother to tell me otherwise.”
His eyes refused to meet hers now. “I’ve already told you I’m sorry for that. It was a rotten thing to do, and you have every right to be upset.”
“Jake, aren’t you the least bit curious about why I didn’t marry Talbot and decided not to sell Grandfather’s business?”
“No. It’s no skin off my nose if you wanted to sell and invest your money in ridiculous hat stores. The land is yours, not mine. And you’re not mine. I had that mixed up for a while.”
“You really don’t think I have a gift for making lovely hats, do you?”
“I refuse to comment.”
Ignoring him, she continued. “Well, I’m going to tell you regardless. I only knew my grandfather through the letters we wrote to each other. As you know, I left here when I was very small, and then I only saw him occasionally when I was a young girl.” She placed her newest creation in her lap. “I remembered how tall and lovely the pines were, but this land was worlds away from Philadelphia. Mother was in ill health most of her life, and we only made the long trip to visit infrequently. I grew up aware that Tip owned a timber business in Michigan, but I didn’t have the slightest idea what that meant.
“When he died I had already accepted Talbot’s marriage proposal. Because I knew nothing about running a logging camp, Talbot thought it best to sell the company and reinvest the money in my hat shops. Had I known what I know now, I would have willingly kept the land. I share your dream to replant the pines, Jake. I’ve seen what man is doing to the earth, and it saddens me.”
He stared off into space, but she knew he was listening. “I’m sorry I didn’t know. It might have made things different between us,” she said softly.
He slowly shook his head. “We would have never met if you hadn’t come
here to finalize the sale.”
“True, but sometimes I wonder if that would have made any difference to you. I can’t seem to reach you whether I’m Fedelia Yardley or Tess Wakefield.”
“That isn’t how it is.”
“You didn’t come to see me off that morning,” she said quietly.
“I couldn’t.” His voice turned oddly uneven.
“Why not? Because you were afraid it would hurt too much?”
“It hurt. More than you’ll ever know.”
“More than I’ll ever know? Are we ready to compare hurt? Because if we are, let me tell you how much I hurt all the months I was in Philadelphia. Every time the mail came and I didn’t hear from you, I hurt. Every time I thought about the way you let me go that morning without a fight, I felt incredible pain.”
“Do you think I wanted to let you go?”
“I don’t know, Jake. Did you?”
“You know better than that.”
“No, I don’t.” She gazed at him, her eyes pleading for the truth. “You tell me what you felt that morning.”
His face clouded. “I felt helpless anger and guilt for what I’d done. Suspecting who you were and not telling anyone. Hurt? Oh, I hurt, all right. The pain that filled my heart because you belonged to someone else was overwhelming at times.”
“I’ve belonged to you from the moment we met. How much clearer could I have made my feelings?”
“Tess, you weren’t aware that you were engaged to another man. I knew or strongly suspected. I should never have lied to you.”
She willed his beautiful hazel eyes to look at her. “Do you ever think about the good times we shared? We had a few.”
“Yes.”
“Often?”
“More than I care to.”
“I thought of you every day, every hour, every moment.”
His eyes shifted away again. “I had no right to take what belonged to another man.”
Tess sighed and turned back to her hat. “Talbot’s a good man. After the honeymoon, he’s bringing Echo back here to visit Waite’s grave. I got a letter from her this morning.”
When Love Comes My Way Page 24