“How?” she asked against his chest. “How is it going to be okay?”
Matt shook his head. “I don’t know. But we’re not going to let him win. Maybe that’s how we break the cycle. Maybe we somehow stay alive, don’t give him what he wants.”
“Matt, what he wants is me.”
“Exactly.”
Shaking her head, she brushed the tears from his cheeks. “You don’t understand the power he has over me. When he brought me those roses? It was like my mind somehow rationalized choosing him over you until I no longer cared who you were.”
“Yes, that could be a problem,” he conceded, tipping her face up to look at him. “But it wasn’t really you that forgot about me, was it?”
“No.”
“And it was remembering me that broke the spell, right?”
A small sliver of hope shown through the darkness. “I suppose so.”
Matt grinned and she felt a warm glow deep within her heart. She loved that grin of his. “So, then all you have to do is think of me all the time and we win.”
Laughing, Ellie playfully smacked his arm. “You would like that, wouldn’t you?”
“Absolutely.” Leaning forward, he kissed her, slow and deep, gathering her up in his arms. Ellie let herself be absorbed in his touch, in the feel of his soft lips on hers, of his tongue in playing in her mouth. She loved the way the way they seemed to melt into one another, as if nothing else in the world mattered in that moment but the two of them.
“I’m not going to let anything happen to you,” he promised her, his hands pushing her shirt up over her chest and slipping it off her arms. “I’m going to keep you safe.” He lightly brushed his lips over the swell of her breasts, his fingers playing over her nipples beneath the light fabric of her bra. With expert hands, he reached behind her back and unhooked the clasp, letting her spill free in his hands. She gasped when he took her breast into his mouth and lightly grazed her nipple. “I need you to trust me.”
Unable to do anything else, she let him lead her to the bed where he eased her down, undressed them both, and stretched out beside her. His long, muscled body covered hers and she sighed against him when he slipped into the hot wetness of her. She clung to him, her legs wrapped around his waist as he softly moved in and out. “Trust me,” he whispered against her neck, kissing his way down to her collar bone.
How could she do anything but? It was amazing to think that it had only been a handful of days since she’d met him, but already, she couldn’t imagine her life without Matt McKinnon. She didn’t even care if it was her past life that was aching to be with him. He was her soulmate. She knew it from the depths of her heart. Every fiber of her being belonged to him and she never wanted to take it back.
In and out, he moved, his hands roaming gently over her skin as if he were memorizing every inch of her. Though the storm still raged outside, she moaned against him, exalting in the soft, languid pleasure he offered. The long, hardness of him filled her in a way no other man had and she trembled each time he thrust against her.
Was it Matt she had always been waiting for? Was he the reason she had always been too afraid to get close to anyone? The reason she had never before felt that pull of love that she felt the moment she saw him? Could she be brave enough now to allow her heart what it wanted the most?
Matt trembled against her, his hands reaching for hers, their finger entwining together. “I love you,” he whispered over her skin and Ellie felt a thrill wash over her. With one last shudder, she clung to him, moaning, and let herself fall.
CHAPTER 14
Elizabeth walked slowly toward the edge of the cliff, her bare feet treading over sharp rock and grass, but she didn’t care. She hardly even felt the cold slap of the wind as her long, white nightdress flew around her. She didn’t feel anything anymore. Not for James, not for Matthew, not even her tiny daughter, Amelia.
Sweet, beautiful, Amelia, she thought. She was perfect in every way. She was going to miss her the most when she was gone.
Tears flowed down Elizabeth’s cheeks as she stared out at the heaving sea. Waves crashed against the rocks below her, and part of her yearned to be among them. It was a part of her she could no longer fight.
Whatever Dabney had done to her had taken its toll. He had sought to control her, but he destroyed her instead. She no longer knew what she felt, whom she loved. She only knew that to love meant pain and she could no longer be part of it. Her mind had broken under Lord Dabney’s spell, and even the thought of her sweet baby girl couldn’t convince her to stay.
Unable to help herself, she screamed her rage into the wind. Why had he done this to her? Was her soul the price she must pay for his fortune? She used to laugh. She used to smile. She used to be the center of attention and she loved every moment of it. Now, she shied away from social interaction. She stayed shut up in her rooms, depressed from morning to night. She wanted to see nobody, and she didn’t. Except for when her husband called for her. She drank his potion, fell under his spell once more, and for a time, all she would think of was him. And yet, every night, she would wake yearning for Matthew.
Her poor, sweet love, Matthew. Oh, the pain she had caused him whenever she was under Dabney’s influence. She could see it in his eyes, feel it in his touch whenever they found a way to steal a few moments together. She couldn’t keep hurting him. Hurting them both. He knew what was happening. They both knew her husband was using some kind of dark sorcery to control her. They were certain he was evil, even if they had no way to prove it.
Glancing over her shoulder at Hargrove House, Elizabeth gasped for air, her heart hurting. Amelia was Matthews, she was certain of it. There wasn’t a trace of darkness within her. She was pure love and light, and Elizabeth could think of nothing better than to raise her child with the man she loved.
But that would never happen now. She only hoped they would both understand.
“Elizabeth!”
Turning, Elizabeth saw Matthew running towards her, his arms outstretched. He was still in his riding clothes and she wondered idly what could possibly have possessed him to come to Hargrove House late at night.
Reaching for her, Matthew held her shoulders, staring into her green eyes. “Elizabeth, my love, please, stop.”
Her heart breaking, she reached up and stroked a hand over his cheek. “I am a weapon he uses against you,” she told him, imploring him to understand. “I see him use me to cut you down, and each time his sword hits its mark, each time I see pain in your eyes, it hurts me, too.”
“No, my love, I can take it. I can wait for the time that we have together.”
But Elizabeth shook her head. “Don’t you see? It isn’t enough. It will never be enough. And now…now I no longer know what’s real. I cannot see the difference between night and day because it is always night for me. My heart is broken and cold, Matthew. The fire that used to live within me has gone out and I cannot serve him anymore. I cannot be his property. He may own my body and control my mind, but he will never own my heart. My heart, my soul, they belong to you. To you and to Amelia. But he will never stop trying to take them, and I fear he will take you both from me because of it.
“It must end,” she told him, wishing that weren’t the truth. Around them the wind howled, and thunder boomed through the night. “I cannot let him win. But please, please remember that no matter what dark magic he used to control me, my love has always only ever been for you.”
Any words he may have uttered were lost in their embrace as Elizabeth crushed her mouth to his in a passionate goodbye kiss. She poured every ounce of love and feeling she had left into that kiss, knowing she would never feel that way again. Matthew, too, clung to her as if he had finally accepted that this was the end.
Then he was viciously ripped from her arms and flung to the ground. Dabney stood over him, his sword pointed at Matthew’s chest, cold fury swarming over his face. “You dare take what is mine, you worthless excuse for a man?” Lighting lit the sky around
him and Elizabeth trembled at his hateful sneer.
Matthew, on the other hand, stared coldly up at his adversary. “She will never be yours.” Kicking out with his left leg, Matthew swept Dabney’s feet out from under him and stood, drawing his sword as Dabney righted himself once more. “Her heart has always seen only me.”
“Lies!” Furious, Dabney attacked, his heavy sword raining down blow after blow, driving Matthew back. But he wasn’t to be beaten so easily. He pushed back as hard as he could, parrying and blocking in turn. Dabney raised his other hand and pointed it at the ground, and lightning struck at Matthew’s feet, sending him crashing to the ground.
Dabney’s cruel laugh flew through the end. “This is the man you would leave me for?” he jeered at Elizabeth. “This pathetic, poor man who pales in comparison with me? This is who you prefer?”
Even from meters away, Elizabeth could feel his anger, but she forced herself to stand tall and stare him down. He would lose tonight, whether he knew it or not. If only she could keep him focused on her instead of on Matthew. “You cannot control me anymore, James,” she called over the wind. Behind him, Matthew was finally climbing to his feet, his hand on his sword. Dabney hadn’t seen him yet. “I do not belong to you anymore,” she told him. “And I never will again.”
Dabney’s lips curved in a cold, cruel smile. “You will not belong to him, either.” Without warning, he turned, and drove his sword through Matthew’s heart.
“No!”
With one last look at Elizabeth, Matthew clutched at his chest before falling lifeless to the dirt.
Everything that had been holding Elizabeth together broke. Every tenuous fiber of sanity tore apart as she stared at the fall body of her one true love. Nothing mattered anymore. Nothing was worth living for without Matthew. Feeling nothing but rage and pain, Elizabeth smiled triumphantly at the husband that was her enemy, wishing him an eternity filled with misery and pain. Knowing her death would seal his fate.
Then she threw herself over the cliff, into the rocks below.
CHAPTER 15
Ellie sat straight up, her heart pounding against her ribs in her chest. She could hear the rushing sounds of her own pulse roaring in her ears. Feel the crash of the waves against her bare skin; the water was icy cold. And the pain. Oh, the pain. Her body breaking as it hit the rocks below. But that pain was nothing compared to the heartbreak she had felt watching Matthew perish at her husband’s hand.
Elizabeth’s husband, she reminded herself. That wasn’t her. She didn’t just commit suicide. She was safe in bed, with Matt sleeping soundly beside her. Thank goodness, he was such a heavy sleeper, she thought. Otherwise, he would be having just as much as trouble believing all of this as she was.
Logically, Ellie knew it was just a dream, even if her dreams felt more like memories than visions. It hadn’t actually happened. She knew that. But oh, it felt as if she had died. Past life or not, she never wanted to experience anything like that, ever again.
Slipping from the bed, she crossed her arms over her bare chest against the cold, and fumbled through the dark for her bathrobe. Easing it on, she padded over to the bathroom and winced at the brightness of the light before gazing at herself in the mirror.
She looked horrible. Deep, dark circles sagged beneath her eyes in the soft lighting. Tentatively, she touched a finger to her skin. She looked as if she hadn’t slept in days. And, truth be told, it felt like she hadn’t. Every night, she was reliving somebody else’s life. A life, mind you, that had happened two hundred years ago.
Her Grandmother Victoria had really done a number on her life, leaving her this mess, she thought, surprised at her own bitterness. Stunned, she glanced at herself again. What was that? Yes, this whole thing with James was awful, and she hoped they found a way to stop it. She most certainly didn’t want to die. But it hadn’t been all bad. For the first time in her entire life, Ellie Fitzgerald had gone outside of the United States. That had to count for something. And, not only that, but she had gone to England of all places. The one country on Earth she had always wanted to go. She was now a homeowner of a gorgeous mansion, the same mansion that had been in her family for generations, in the beautiful town of Dover. It was where her mother had grown up, and had always been at the top of her list for English places to visit. What better way to finish her dissertation than to experience that world first hand?
And then there was Matt. If she had never come here, she never would have met him. She never would have fallen in love with the man she was nearly certain was her soul mate. Until him, she wasn’t even sure she believed in soul mates. One look at Matt McKinnon had changed all of that.
“Hey,” Matt said, leaning against the door frame of the bathroom. “Is everything all right?”
Ellie’s lips turned up in a warm smile, and she leaned over to give him a kiss. “Yes, everything’s fine.”
His eyes searched hers, a frown marring his handsome face. “No, it’s not. Come here.” Taking her hand, he led her to the bed, not letting go until she took a seat next to him. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
How was it that after only a handful of days, he knew her so well?
Grateful for the interest, and happy not to be suffering along, she relayed her dream to him. She stumbled at bit when she reached Matthew’s death, though her voice hardened when she informed him it was Lord Dabney that did it.
Matt listened with an increasing sense of seriousness. To his credit, he didn’t do much more than wrinkle his nose when she told him of how his own past life perished. Instead, he just sat there watching her speak, the wheels constantly turning in his mind.
“So, was that it?” he asked her, tapping a finger to his brow. “Dabney killed Matthew and you woke up?”
“Well, no,” she admitted, though she was rather reluctant to speak of her own death. He must have sensed it, because Matt gestured for her to continue. “After…after Matthew died, Elizabeth couldn’t stand the thought of being with Lord Dabney again, so…” Ellie swallowed hard. She could do this. “So, she threw herself off the cliffs.”
“Then the stories were true, how tragic.”
“I know. It’s awful. But she figured that since she was the object of his desire that if she died, he would somehow be lost too. I must say, it seemed to make much more sense in her head than it does mine. I have no idea how curses work, but it just seems to have been passed along to each generation. From what I can tell, when the next Hargrove woman comes of age, James shows up to see if she is his long, lost love; that is to say, me. If she’s not, all evidence indicates that he leaves her alone. If she is, well, she doesn’t live much longer than their meeting. Every time Elizabeth and Matthew are reincarnated they die. What?” she asked, suddenly self-conscious. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
Matt simply continued to grin. “I just love it when you get all scholarly like that on me.” Moving in, he laid a kiss on her lips, then slumped back against the pillows once more. “It’s just so damn sexy.”
Though she smiled at his charm, Ellie couldn’t shake the feeling that something wasn’t right. “Your sister said there wasn’t much time. What do you think she meant?”
Matt scoffed. “She was probably just trying to add some dramatic effect. You don’t know Phoebe like I do. She loves to do that stuff to the tourists. Says they just eat it up. Makes her a right foul git sometimes, if you ask me, but she has quite a few repeat customers, so maybe I don’t know what I’m talking about.”
Worry furrowed Ellie’s brow. “But what about the cards? She couldn’t have stacked the deck like that, could she?”
“Of course, she could. She’s a professional.”
“But would she?”
Matt thought a moment, before pursing his lips. “Well, no, probably not, especially after seeing how serious you were about the whole thing. But hey, don’t worry. We’re going to figure this out. I promise.”
“Yeah. I suppose.” Getting up, Ellie began searching for her clothes
.
“What are you doing?” he asked, sitting up again.
Ellie tugged on her jeans and threw a sweater over her head, before reaching for her boots. “I just a need a little air. I’m okay,” she assured him, and he sat back once more. “I just need to get away from this room and all things Elizabeth for a few minutes.” With one last, quick kiss, she headed for the door. “If I’m not back in half an hour, come find me.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Chuckling, Matt snuggled down into the covers and Ellie left the room, shutting the door behind her.
CHAPTER 16
The house was quiet. Almost eerily so. Usually, even when most of the staff were sleeping, there was somebody lurking around the halls for one reason or another. Tonight, however, she found the long, lavishly decorated corridors completely deserted.
Retrieving her coat, Ellie walked out onto the terrace and stared at the ocean. A cold wind whipped around her, sending her red hair cascading out around her shoulders. She loved the English coastline at night. It was almost magical, the way the waves crashed against the cliffs, and the white rocks of the cliff face gleamed in the moonlight. She could stand there staring at it for hours. She only wished she could do so without worrying whether she was going to make it through the night.
Walking out a bit further, Ellie clinched her coat tighter around her neck and leaned against the stone ledge of the terrace.
“Are you waiting for me?” a deep voice asked from out of the darkness.
Ellie jumped violently. She squinted into the night, trying to decipher where the voice was coming from, but she was unable to see so much as an outline of a body. “Who’s there?”
The man laughed coldly, and a tremble of fear played down Ellie’s spine. “Why, I’m insulted you don’t know, Elizabeth,” he said. She was certain he was getting closer. “After all, you are my wife.”
Stepping from the shadows, James stood before her, looking as handsome as he ever did in his long, brown coat. His dark eyes were so menacing at that moment that they were almost black. He was staring at her as if she were the canary he finally managed to catch. He just stood there; the cat, licking his lips.
Crush on the Alpha Bear (Alpha Bears Book 4) Page 107