by E. M. Moore
“If one of us displays any outright…affection…for you. It won’t be good.”
I nodded, completely understanding the predicament we were in. “Which also means taking out anyone who even threatens me is a no-no. I get it, Stephan. You guys don’t need to do that. I can take care of myself. I’ve been taking care of myself for a while.”
“We know that,” he said. “One of the things we wanted to do by bringing you here was to show you that it didn’t have to be just you. Now all this stuff has happened and you’re right back at it. It’s like it’s you versus the world again. It’s not supposed to be like that.”
I understood the helpless feeling completely. I stood, made my way around the table, and sat in his lap. “I know I’m not alone. See this?” I asked, lacing my fingers through his. “This lets me know it’s not just me. The cell phone? All those fun texts and voicemails? I know you guys are with me too even if you’re not physically with me.”
He didn’t seem one-hundred percent convinced, but there was a small tinge of relief in his gaze. Happy that he was at least settled for now, I went back to my seat and ate the rest of my breakfast. Afterward, Stephan handed me my cell phone and grabbed his car keys.
“It’s time?” I asked.
He nodded. “Don’t make any plans for dinner. If the guys get back in time, I’m sure they’re going to want to see you right away.”
My heart skipped a beat at the prospect. I couldn’t wait to see them all. “Okay, but let’s not go to that pizza place.”
His face dropped. “Really? You didn’t like it?”
“It’s not that,” I promised. “You guys were about to give that waitress a heart attack. Not that I blame her. That’s a lot of Ravana to take in one sitting.”
Stephan rolled his eyes and grabbed my hand. “Come on. I better take you back now before you act too cute. Then, there’s no way I’m giving up the extra time with you.”
* * * * *
Easy Saturdays as Samuel called it were only easy because there was no morning run or lawn calisthenics. There was still training in the gym and our usual obstacle course runs. Today, though, Samuel didn’t pair me up with Zeke. I almost wished he had because he was looking a little sore today, slower than he usually was. A smirk pulled at my lips. I hoped I had something to do with that even though I was sure it was probably Stephan who inflicted the pain, if anyone.
Shannon caught up with me after the last race. “Hey, how you doing today?”
I shrugged. “Fine.”
“Someone told us last night that you were going home with a hot guy…” she said, her voice trailing off, obviously wanting details.
I wanted to roll my eyes and tell her it was just Stephan Ravana, but the truth died on my tongue. Would people start asking questions if they knew Stephan took me home? I didn’t want to get him in trouble, nor me. I couldn’t very well lie though. Someone had to have seen him there. I went with the next best thing—a half truth. “I wasn’t feeling too well. Stephan happened to text me and say that he was coming back from The Council meeting early so I asked him to come pick me up.”
Shannon looked genuinely concerned. “I’m sure Evan would’ve driven you home.”
I shook my head. “I didn’t want to bother you guys. Everyone was having such a great time. I didn’t want to ruin it because of me.”
She smiled, untied the hair tie from around her hair, and put it back up in a bun. “You know, I wanted to talk to you about that. I had a fun time hanging out with you. So did Liv. We should do it again.”
I searched her face. She seemed nothing but genuine. I needed to remind myself that just because Zeke was a jerk, that didn’t mean that all the guards here were. “Yeah,” I said. “Cool.”
We were almost to the guardian building now when she said, “I almost forgot. Did you see the paper this morning? There’s a whole big article about The Council meeting and what it was about. The rumors are true, but it’s far worse than we thought.”
With all the drama last night, I’d completely forgotten to ask Stephan what the meeting was about. Why was it such a secret? “So, a vampire did fall in love with a guard?” I hedged.
She nodded and my heart twisted. Might as well get it over now. What kind of fate did I and the Ravanas have? She blew out a breath. “It’s sick. I almost can’t even say it. The worst thing they did was actually try and have a relationship, and now they’re facing the ultimate punishment.”
“What?” I asked, not grasping her meaning. “What happened?”
“They got pregnant,” she said simply, but sadness still laced her voice. “The Council voted for a forced abortion.”
My mouth dropped as all the twisted realities of the situation sank into my toes, making them feel like dead weights. I stopped walking.
“Allegedly,” she tacked on. “No one can say really. They’re usually pretty hush-hush about things that happen. I wouldn’t put it past them to do this though.” She stopped alongside me and shook her had. When she looked up, concern etched her features. “Ariana? You okay?”
I shook my head. “That’s just…wrong. So wrong. Why can’t the baby be brought up as a vampire? Feed the baby blood like they do in regular pregnancies? Why kill it?” Even as I was asking all these questions, my mind simply revolted at the idea. There was no way the guys had voted for this. Not my princes. They weren’t heartless.
Shannon shrugged. “No one can say for sure, but there’s speculation that this kind of incident would provoke the laws to be tested and perhaps amended. The old vamps don’t want that. They want everything just as it is. There are vampires, and there are guards. There are not half vamps-half guards. They’re acting as if it would be some kind of abomination.”
I couldn’t hear anymore of this. She must have had her story wrong. I told her I had to go and then ran to the guardian building. Last time I’d seen a newspaper, it was in the common room. Sure enough, there was one there. I grabbed it and ran to my room. Some of what was said didn’t make any sense to me. They made mention that the vampire who fell in love with the guard was rumored to be +20 years old. What did that even mean? He was twenty?
My phone buzzed and I ignored it, searching through the paper for any type of falsehood I could pick out. Did it definitely say that the Ravana princes were there? No. No, it didn’t. It just said that The Council had rumored to make an unprecedented decision based on the facts of the case. They would not let a law such as that be broken.
What kind of messed up world was I brought into?
Chapter Seventeen
The phone continued to buzz beside me until it was almost an incessant noise that wouldn’t stop.
About that time, I heard footsteps in the hall and then my door was flying open and bouncing off the wall. I looked up, not noticing until then that tears had begun to stream down my face. It was Connor who first stepped in, his face a mask of complete confusion.
“Is she okay?” Nic asked.
“I told you she was fine when I dropped her off this morning,” Stephan said, pushing through the other bodies in his way to see me.
Then, they were all piling into my room. Connor’s gaze dropped to the bed. My hands were shaking as I read the article over for the fifth time, trying to seek out its truths and dirty lies. They were dirty lies, right?
Connor closed his eyes. “Get in the room. Everyone. Shut the door behind you.”
All three of them blinked at me, noticing what I held in my hand. “It’s not what you think,” Stephan said.
Not what I thought? I wasn’t even sure what I thought. Did they have a hand in this?
No. No, it couldn’t be.
“It’s exactly what she thinks,” Christian said.
I peered at him. There was nothing but honesty in his eyes. It made me sick. “You guys…” I gulped. “…did this?”
“Screw you, Christian,” Nic said. He knelt down in front of me and grabbed one of my hands and placed it between his own. “No, we didn’t
do this. I promise you. Please look at me, Ri. Come on.”
I turned my head. Sorrow pulled at his eyes. “I want to know it all,” I told him.
He nodded and the rest of them made themselves comfortable in my small room. Christian sat in my desk chair, Nic stayed kneeling in front of me, while Connor and Stephan sat on the edge of my bed. “We didn’t get to vote,” Nic explained.
“But it’s true? Some poor woman guard is going to get a forced abortion because she fell in love with a vampire?”
My chest ached. I didn’t even understand fully why I cared so much. I had never wanted children. How could I have children? I couldn’t offer them a good life. I had nothing, barely enough for myself. I wouldn’t have brought a child into this world like that.
“When we’re old enough,” Connor said, “we’re going to bring a lot of change to The Council. They have no idea.”
“But this woman?” I said, bringing up the paper in my shaky hands. “She’s getting an abortion?”
Connor rubbed my leg, his touch still soothing despite the panic in my chest. It wasn’t them, I reminded myself. I knew it wasn’t because if it was, I wouldn’t even be able to stand Connor’s touch. “We’ll explain everything,” he promised.
With Nic still clasping my hand and Connor rubbing my leg, Stephan touched my knee and Christian leaned over to place his hand on my thigh. “There are things you don’t know.”
Already I was feeling calmer. I took a deep breath. “Let’s start small. What does +20 mean?”
“That one’s easy,” Stephan said. “Vampires who are turned before the age of thirty-five grow until they turn that age. Once they hit thirty-five, they never age further than that. Their body, their skin, everything, will never be older than thirty-five. +20 is everything after thirty-five.”
“So, the vampire who got the human guard pregnant is fifty-five?” I asked, doing the math in my head.
“In human years, yes.”
“Okay,” I said, relaxing even more. “I understand that part now. This guard and the vampire worked together?” I asked.
Nic nodded. “Yes, she was brought in to guard him when they were both young. The vampire-guard relationship is already a special one. I believe…” He looked at the other guys. “…neither one of them expected anything to happen.”
“A one-night stand?”
“Not technically,” Stephan said. He drew my attention and my heart almost broke in two. We’d kissed. I couldn’t imagine not kissing him again. Just from the briefest touch of his lips, I knew I’d never be the same. It would be that way with all the Ravanas. He seemed to sense what I was going through and his hand squeezed my knee tighter. “It’s just that they never intended to have the baby. I think they do love one another.”
“Sincerely,” Christian broke in. His soft touch on my thigh brought my attention to him. “It’s not illegal to have sex with a guard, per se.”
“Just having feelings with sex?” I asked, scoffing. “How can you police that?”
“Which is exactly why The Council was formed,” Connor said. “Some on The Council could care less if vampires and guards got together. Others? Not so much. That’s why we have the governing body like we do.”
“So, they’re going to kill the baby? This governing body decided that the best thing to do would be to kill an innocent child?”
Nic squeezed my hand while nodding. His face was furious. “I think even the couple is okay with that decision. At least, that’s what they’re telling The Council. Who knows what they’re really plotting.”
“And you guys didn’t vote?” I asked. I knew it in my heart, I just needed them to say it again and keep saying it until this whole thing was untrue.
“No,” was the resounding answer.
* * * * *
A little while later, I was almost back to normal. The guys had moved the conversation to me and wanted to look at the bruises on my neck and back. They weren’t happy, but held back their anger as best they could considering the circumstances. I didn’t know if I could deal with anymore drama today. I felt horrible for that woman guard. I could see myself in that woman’s place and it made me nauseous.
None of them let me be silent for longer than a few minutes. They kept me busy by asking what I’d been doing while they were gone. In turn, I made them tell me stories about their parents and what they did when they were at home. Once, when Connor was keeping me occupied, I heard Christian say to Nicolai, “Sometimes I wonder if we did the right thing by bringing her here.” He shifted his gaze to me and I pretended to be listening to Connor. “I wonder if we’ll ruin her.”
My gut clenched. I couldn’t bear to have them think that. Before I could say anything, Nic said, “We might all be the ruin of each other, but damnit…” This time I looked up and held his gaze. “It’ll be worth every terrifying second.”
I swallowed, slowly nodding at him. The tension in the room shifted and all of us stared at one another in turn. No matter what happened, no matter The Council or Zeke or any other future craziness that might seep into our lives, I would never give the Ravanas up. And they would never give me up either.
We were everything to one another.
Chapter Eighteen
That night, I had nightmares. It was the same old thing. The crunch of the metal, the glass shattering into thousands of tinkling shards, and the scrape of the car frame against pavement. I blinked again and again. Total black. My mom hanging upside down. Total black. Blood-red rivulets dripping from the wound in her head. Black. Red. Black. Red.
I sat straight up in bed, my heart pounding against my chest. My eyes searched the shadows, but it was just me in my small room at The Fort.
My princes had left a couple hours ago. They didn’t want to leave me, but what could we do? Staying at The Fort was my only option. Anything else would be too conspicuous, especially with what was happening in the vampire world right now. The last thing we wanted to do was bring attention to ourselves.
I tore the covers off and set my feet down on the floor. Every time I thought about that poor mother, I wanted to vomit. I understood that she and her vampire lover had broken the law, but that rule in particular was outdated, and just plain wrong. The princes needed to get on that Council and kick some of the older ones out. Change, that was what this world needed, and a healthy dose of it too.
My hand shook at my side, my nerves stretched thin. Tonight had been one of the most difficult in this world yet. The worst was when I actually thought the Ravanas had something to do with The Council’s decision. Sure, it’d only been a split second, but in that tiny fraction of time, my world shook at its core. I wiped a hand over my brow, a cold sweat dotting the clammy skin there. I knew what I needed. It was Sunday and I wouldn’t be getting a run in later. Sunday was the only day we got off at The Fort.
I wrenched my drab, Fort-issued pajamas off and grabbed the same outfit I’d come here in. It was practically the only thing I owned from the other world. It felt good to wear it if only because it was something so unrelated to the vampires. Other than the Ravanas, I was disgusted with this world right now and their ridiculous superiority.
Seething, I grabbed my keys off the dresser, locked the door behind me, and started toward The Fort grounds. Once I was out of the building, the fresh air helped a little. The night was still young. The moon hung high in the sky with a small breeze teasing at my chilled skin. I stretched for a few moments while looking up past the mesh sun-savior that helped the vampires walk around during the day in full blown sunlight. The stars twinkled, some of them almost winking at me from space. I supposed I could’ve calmed down by calling one of the Ravanas, but it felt good to go for a run again like I used to, keeping me grounded to who I was at my core. Whether I knew about the vampire world or not, I was still me.
Stepping forward, I started the jog along the same route Samuel ran us every single morning, making the big loop around campus. Soon, I only thought about my feet hitting the ground and
my breathing. I was only vaguely aware that I was coming up on my sixth and last loop. Finally working myself tired, hopefully enough to sleep until morning, I stopped near the tree I’d tried to escape from my first night here. I did a couple of arm stretches while glancing up at the limb I was dead set on walking out over and using as a launch pad to jump across the perimeter wall with. I smiled, realizing how ridiculous that sounded. I never would’ve made it.
Goosebumps spread over me and I turned on my heel. I gasped, recognizing the shadowy figure at the base of the tree. “You’re not out here for that again, are you?”
Startled despite knowing who it was, I clutched at my chest, then moved closer to Christian so I could punch him in the shoulder. “Don’t sneak up on people. It’s not nice.”
He moved out of the shadows, taking my lame punch like a champ, and showed off his perfected smirk. It wasn’t quite as rehearsed as Nicolai’s, but it was still good. As he came closer, my mind started to wander. I was no longer worried about him sneaking up on me as he came into full view. His gray-blue eyes never looked more tantalizing than they did in the moonlight, and once again, his usually dirty blond hair looked closer to Connor’s color out here in the dead of night. “You didn’t answer my question,” he said.
I lifted an eyebrow. “Do I really need to?”
He came closer still. It was easier for me to see now that he was very serious. I thought we were way past that. The intensity in his eyes subsided as a cooler, more unsettled look rearranged his features. He rubbed the back of his neck and gazed into my eyes. “I thought maybe with tonight’s news you’d want to leave. Especially when I said we’d done it.”
“What did you mean by that anyway? You guys didn’t vote. How could it be your fault?”
He shrugged. “Does it matter? We’re all a part of this world. If we don’t condemn it, aren’t we part of the problem?”
Always the serious thinker, I understood now the burden Christian carried with him because of this. So much so that he thought I would bail as soon as I had the chance. My heart hurt for him. “I don’t know what the answer is,” I said honestly. “What could you guys do? What could anyone do?”