by E. M. Moore
The door to the room opened again and a young man walked in. My jaw dropped. What the…?
I knew him. Well, not personally, but Alexander Short had just walked in the door. He was the front man for Turning Stone, a rock band back in the real world. He’d went missing a year ago. What the hell?
“Oh,” Natalie giggled. “You’ve been caught.”
Alexander glanced up at my face and laughed. “Guess so.” He came forward and held his hand out. “Alexander Rajyvik.”
I shook my head. “No. You’re Alex Short. You’re Turning Stone’s lead singer. You were all over the news.”
He nodded and held his hands up. “Busted. That was all well and good, but I’ve found my place now with Nat and Christopher.” He walked over to his wife and baby, putting his arm around her and caressing Christopher’s forehead.
“I’m sorry,” I mumbled. “That was so rude. I was just in shock, I guess. You know people think you’re dead?”
“Aren’t I?” he asked, his voice teasing.
Everyone laughed at that, even me. I could find the humor in this after all, but holy crap. Alex Short was a vampire now. He’d changed for Natalie. They had a baby. Wow. The real world would flip their lid if they knew what actually happened to him.
Isabelle’s fingers grazed my shoulder. “Let’s leave them alone, shall we, Ariana?”
I nodded, still dumbfounded. We walked from the room and Isabelle pulled the door closed after us. I looked back at it, still in shock. I didn’t know what surprised me more, the fact that Alex was a vampire, or the fact that someone I “knew” from real life was in this world with me?
I turned back around and pulled myself together. “I’ll have to apologize to them,” I said. “I don’t think I handled that well at all.”
Isabelle smirked. “It must be difficult for you,” she mused. “Even Alexander came into this world knowingly. You were, kind of,—”
“—kidnapped?” I suggested.
She brought her hand to her mouth to hide a smile now that we were out in the main room with all the other vampires. “Yes, I suppose so,” she said. She turned toward me. “You don’t look like you care about that though. Do you?”
“Not one bit.”
She smiled, then her gaze drifted over my shoulder. Peeking back at me, she said, “Nicolai is coming this way. He looks intent on talking to you.” She moved closer, her lips near my ear. “Please do be careful, Ariana. All of you.”
Then, she was gone. In her place stood Nic. He grinned down at me. “Did you and my mom have a good talk?”
I glanced around the room for her. Finally, I spotted her next to Gregor, her arm gripping his elbow as if she had been there the whole time. “We all need to talk.”
“She wasn’t mean to you?”
“No. Of course not. It’s just that I think— No, I know you guys have been holding back information from me.”
Shadows darkened Nicolai’s face. Thoughts of Alex Short turned vampire whisked through my brain as well as his mother’s cautionary words. War? Conflict? What was going on and why hadn’t they told me about it from the beginning? No wonder why Samuel had warned me that it didn’t matter what the princes wanted. Their safety was of the utmost concern. Especially if we were all headed into war. I hated to lose the spot to Zeke, but if he was truly the best person for the job, I should just back off. I could take some other station.
Even as I thought it, my stomach rolled. Then what? My mind shot back at me. See them only when you see them? What if they found women they wanted to be with and years from now, we’d all be at a party like this, and I’d have to witness Nic or Christian or any of them walking around with their wife and a baby in their arms.
“You don’t look good,” Nic said. “Ariana?”
I rubbed my temple, trying to push back the headache I could feel coming on. Nic reached out and then let his hand drop between us. I drew in a deep breath and let it out as I said, “You guys need the perfect guardian.”
“We do. And that’s you.”
“You need someone strong. And powerful. And—”
This time he did reach out and grab my wrist as reason after reason rolled off my tongue of why I wouldn’t be the best choice.
“We need someone fearless and brave. Strength doesn’t just come from physicality, Ariana. It comes from somewhere deep inside, from the knowledge that you must survive. You’re a survivor.”
I shook my head. Already I could see what my naivete would bring the Ravanas. I knew nothing of this world. Christian was wrong yesterday. I would be the ruin of them, not the other way around. And not because of our feelings for one another, but because I’d never be as strong as the guards who grew up in this world. It was too late.
“Whatever you’re thinking, just stop,” he said, his voice calm, yet stern. He looked around, his gaze almost pleading with the rest of the party-goers to leave so they wouldn’t witness the implosion that was about to happen.
“I should probably go,” I said.
His fingers tightened around my wrist. “I am begging you. Wait. Let’s go talk somewhere privately.”
“Where?” I asked through clenched teeth. We couldn’t even talk in public because we were all hiding something we shouldn’t be. I was already in too deep. Shannon had said before that the reason why guards and vamps couldn’t have relationships was because it complicated things. I saw that now. More than ever. “We’re in the middle of a party and we can’t even be honest with one another, Nicolai.”
His jaw ticked. “I know where your mind went, and I’m standing right next to you telling you you’re being ridiculous. The reason why you’ll make the perfect guard is because you do care. We’re stronger together as a team. A team, Ariana,” repeating it as if I hadn’t heard him the first time.
The world spun around me. Were we all just being delusional? I didn’t disagree with him, but I didn’t fully agree with him either. We had made this so much more complicated than it needed to be. I started to curse my stupid hormones, but it was much more than that. My feelings went deeper than how great all four of them looked in their tuxes.
Nic’s fingers started to peel off my wrist. I looked up to find Connor smiling at us. He pulled our hands away from one another and it was then I noticed the insincerity in his gaze. “What’s going on?” he asked through a too-wide smile.
“Ri’s having a meltdown and none of us can do a goddamn thing about it because we’re stuck here.”
Connor looked at me briefly. “She looks fine.”
Nic turned toward Connor. His happy facade dropped and he scowled. “I’m telling you—”
“Alright, chill. You okay, Princess?”
“I’m fine,” I said, my voice high and tight.
Connor and Nic shared a look.
“Really,” I said, but they weren’t buying it. I really just wanted to get out of here and think on my own. I was always sensible. If I could just get away and think this all through, I’d feel more confident in the feelings swarming around me.
“She wants to leave,” Nic said.
“You’re not having fun?” Connor asked.
“Really?” Nic said, and I thought for a moment he was going to hit his brother upside the head.
Behind us, the sound of metal clinking against glass reverberated through the room. I looked up to find Gregor in the center of the room tapping the ring on his finger against his wine glass which was filled to the brim with a deep red.
Not wine, I reminded myself. Blood.
They all turned and I tried to step away, but backed right into a hard surface. I swiveled on my heel and found Stephan standing behind me, his gaze lowered to mine. My breath caught in my throat again. He really pulled his fancy suit off well. He wore a dark gray tux, highlighting his emerald eyes as if there were flecks of green in the material. As soon as I saw him, my heart stopped. Poor, caring Stephan. He’d saved me, held me like I’d never been held before, and then gave me my first kiss. My lips
tingled just thinking about it. He blushed as my gaze dropped to his lips. “Ariana?”
I needed to get out of here. With them around, I would never make a sane decision. I needed to separate my brain from my heart for a few minutes. With them so near, that was impossible.
It was getting hot in here. A fierce rush of heat swamped my body as I stood looking at him. Gregor continued to talk in the background.
Stephan looked to Connor and Nic. “What’s going on? Where’s Christian?”
I leaned over to whisper to him. “Can you take me back to my room?”
“Of course.”
“Stephan!” Nic growled. “She’s staying with us until we can all find a way to just sit back and talk. Where the hell is Christian?”
“I’ll text him,” Connor said.
“I’m fine,” I pleaded, but none of them were listening anymore. They all absentmindedly clapped when the rest of the room did though they still kept their gazes on me.
Then, the whole room turned toward us. All the vampires smiled and clapped in our direction. No, not ours. Theirs, the princes. I stepped back out of the limelight and was able to sneak away. With the princes having to play to the crowd in light of whatever their father had said, I slinked off and found myself in the kitchen. I gazed around, then spotting an outside door, I went straight for it. As soon as the cool evening air hit my face, I breathed out, letting all the anxiety of the past few minutes escape my every pore. Freedom. Just for a minute.
I closed the door carefully behind me and made my way back toward the iron gate in the barrier wall. I pulled my phone from my purse and sent them a text telling them not to worry. I was safe, just needed time to think a few things over.
Had our feelings clouded our judgment that much? Why me? If they really wanted me, couldn’t they just turn me into a vampire instead of going through this whole guard training? My mind went around and around as I made way across the large lawn. It went from doubt to love to even thinking again that Zeke might actually be the best choice for them.
A hand grabbed mine and I twisted, managing to extract my fingers and whirling into a fighting position. After the last time Zeke had got the jump on me, I vowed it would never happen again. I punched out, moving toward the dark blur, but a hand caught mine. It wasn’t until my vision cleared—or was it until the vampire stopped moving—that I realized it was Nicolai.
“What the hell?” I said.
He smirked. “Shouldn’t that be my line? You did try and punch me. Nice one, by the way.”
“Whatever,” I said, pulling my hand from his grip and moving again toward the entryway back to The Fort.
“Whatever? Have we resorted into turning into a human teenager with a bad attitude?”
“I’ve always had a bad attitude,” I shot back over my shoulder.
“Damnit, Ri, quit walking away. I want to talk to you, but I’m sick of chasing.”
I whirled on him. Whatever he saw on my face, stopped him dead in his tracks. “You want to talk. Good. Finally. Why don’t we start with how you guys haven’t been totally honest? What’s going on in your world, Nicolai? Why is your mother telling me your lives are in danger? Don’t you think that’s something I should know. Not only because I care, but because I’m supposed to graduate from this,” I said, pointing at the Fort, “and become your guard?”
“I get it. You’re pissed. Do it. Be pissed. We didn’t want to tell you everything right away because we didn’t want to scare you off. We thought if we overwhelmed you, there was no way you’d stay.”
“I need to know everything. I need to know how bad this is and what we’re up against. What if I’m not the best, huh? What if you’re safer with someone else?”
He strode up to me and took my chin in his hands. I tried to slap him off, but he didn’t move. When that failed, I looked away. He was too close. I couldn’t think rationally anymore. He sighed. “Look at me.” When I didn’t, he said it again, demanding this time. “Look. At. Me.”
My stare found his automatically. It wasn’t fair that he had the ability to do that. There was something primal about it, something I couldn’t resist even if I wanted to.
His face softened and his dark eyes almost gutted me. “I’m sorry, okay? We never wanted it to seem like we didn’t trust you or even that you couldn’t handle it. We know you can handle anything, Ri. I meant it when I said there’s more to strength than just physical prowess. You, my sweetheart, are the strongest person I know. I want you by my side with my brothers. I don’t care if we’re fighting, arguing, risking our lives, or just at the pizza shop downtown having fun. You’re a part of us and nothing is going to take that away.”
“But we can’t,” I said, my voice breaking, reminding him what a fragile line there was between us all. We were in danger of putting all our lives at risk. Just one simple touch, just this, his hand on my chin could raise suspicions.
“We’ll find a way.”
“You’re being naive.”
He smirked, but it wasn’t playful, it was hard and sharp. “I’m being naive? So what? Maybe I am, but I’ll be damned if I just let you walk out of here without you hearing our side. We chose you for a reason. You’re everything we thought, and more.”
I shook my head. “I need to think.”
I tried to walk away again, but he held me back. “Think about what?” he demanded as he gripped my forearms. His tux jacket bulged, his muscles flexing beneath his sleeves. “What is there to think about? You feel this, I know you do. It’s the reason why you kissed Stephan and why you and Christian fell asleep in your bed. This is what raw feelings, raw emotions feel like, Ri. What more is there to think about?”
“Isn’t that the problem?” I asked, heat gathering behind my eyes. “What good is it doing us if we can’t even explore it? What good is it doing us if it complicates things? Above all else, I need you guys to be safe. I—”
“Above all else? Above all else, we need to be with you. We’re—”
“Stronger together. I know. You said that before.”
“Then believe me,” he said, his voice pleading. “We’ll tell you everything. We won’t ever keep anything from you again, but damnit, Ri, you can’t look at me like you want to leave anymore. You’re tearing me up inside.”
I looked away. His eyes were bright, shiny, everything that was complex was hidden there. “I don’t want to leave. That’s not it at all. I just wonder if it would be the best thing.”
“Stop thinking that. I don’t want to tell you you’re being stupid, but you’re being stupid.”
A tear escaped and slid down my cheek. I reached up to wipe it away. “I just wanted a minute. One minute to think by myself.”
He looked away, chewing on his lip. “I didn’t want to give you time to think about it and come up with the wrong decision.”
“The wrong decision?” I smirked, trying to relieve the tension between us.
“Yes, any decision that takes you away from us is the wrong decision. That much I know. I know it deep in here.” His hand curled around mine and brought it to his gut. There was nothing but rock hard abs under my fist. He pulled it closer, his stomach flexing.
I took a deep breath. His mother had said the same thing when she told me she knew something bad was going to happen, even made the same gesture toward her core. I’d usually chalk it up to being related, but they weren’t blood. It wasn’t inherent in them to act alike.
I dropped my head to his shoulder. I guessed some connections went deeper than that. Deeper than blood or family ties. All the anger, the hurt fell away from me. I reached up, my hands making their way along Nic’s fancy suit. They felt up his forearms, over his bulging biceps, and then to his shoulders. He stilled underneath me as I started to pull my head away to look at him. My mouth was dry, waiting in anticipation. What would I see reflected in his eyes? I held a breath in my chest and pulled even further away, his tux coming back into clear view in front of me.
The next thing I kn
ew, my feet were in the air and I was being pulled back. A scream caught in the back of my throat. My gaze latched onto Nic’s. Terror, complete and terrifying, stared back at me, echoing through me in his haunted gaze. Then, complete darkness.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Drip.
Drip, drip.
Drip.
My eyes felt as if they were sealed together with superglue. It was hell trying to pry them open. I fought through the drowning feeling, the pure wall of black in front of me. Somewhere, deep inside me, I knew that if I could just open my eyes. If I could just try hard enough.
I was just so tired, but not in the sense that I hadn’t slept in a while. This was overwhelming as if all I ever wanted to do again was sleep.
Drip.
Drip, drip.
I tried again, willing myself to open my eyes. I raised my eyebrows as far as they would go, but still, my eyelids wouldn’t budge. It was like swimming through a deep sludge. I kept moving, or trying to, but nothing came out of it. I fought through the haze, my fingers curling in on themselves. If I was awake, I’d be coming apart at the seams with the amount of energy I put behind just trying to get my eyes to open.
Do it, Ariana. Do it.
I tried to bring my hand up, thinking there may have been something covering my eyes. Why the hell wouldn’t they open on their own? I couldn’t even do that. No matter how much I willed my hands to move, they stayed at their sides.
In my head, I screamed in frustration, lashing out at everything. I couldn’t move. Couldn’t see. But my brain could function and so could my heart.
Nicolai. I’d been taken from him. I needed to know if he was okay. Where was he?
Damnit! Why couldn’t I just wake up?
In my head, I opened my mouth to scream and focused on moving just my one finger. I focused and focused. If I was awake, I’d be hoarse and out of breath from the scream that was only real inside my head. Little by little though, it started to work. Ever so slightly, I started to come up for air.