by Jennie Marts
She stepped forward, extending her hand, not expecting the zing of feeling that shot up her arm as he took it in his. She nodded, unable for a moment to speak, caught in the spell of his warm smile and the abyss of his deep green eyes. He wore a brown felt cowboy hat, and sandy brown hair that was just a little too long fell across his forehead. She had the insane urge to reach up and brush it out of his eyes.
What was going on?
She did not reach out and touch strangers, and she hadn’t had an insane urge to do anything in years.
The spell was broken by a wet nose nudging her crotch, and she stumbled back at the dog’s invasive gesture. A strong hand reached out and grabbed her arm, steadying her body but ruffling every fiber of her composure.
“Duke, get down.” He grinned at her, and the bottom dropped out of her stomach like she’d just started the downhill descent on a tall rollercoaster. She wasn’t sure if she was excited or terrified. Or both. “Sorry about that. That’s just his way of greeting people.”
She laughed as she sidestepped another crotch sniff, blocking the dog’s nose with her hand as she reached down to pet it. “Hi, Duke.”
“I think he likes you.”
“I love animals.” She gestured to the furry bundle in his arms. “What do you have there?”
He stepped closer, right into her personal space, and she resisted the urge to step back. He tilted the bundle toward her, and she gasped at the small furry owl that looked up at her with wide black eyes. “It’s a young owl. I just found him caught up in the barbed wire fence in the south pasture. His leg is cut.”
“Oh no.”
He nodded at the house. “Come on in. I just want to take a few minutes to get some ointment on the cut and check him out.”
She wordlessly followed him into the house, noting the way he opened the front door then held it for her to walk through first. The farmhouse had obviously been updated inside, and was decorated in a cabin motif. Dark green sofas sat on either side of a huge stone fireplace, and pine accents gave the room an inviting feel.
“My dad’s always giving me a hard time for bringing home strays and wounded animals, but I can’t help it. I do believe in letting nature take its course, but I couldn’t just leave this little guy out there.” Levi walked into the large kitchen and set the owl on the counter.
She liked the way he spoke, his voice deep and slow. He told the dog to go to his bed, and Duke obediently lay down on a blue dog bed in the corner of the kitchen. He nodded to her. “Here, can you hold it while I grab some first-aid supplies?”
“Sure, I guess.” Like the dog, she obeyed his request, and cupped the small owl in her hands.
“He won’t hurt you. He’s still pretty worn out from trying to escape the fence.” He tucked the flannel shirt tighter around the owl, brushing her hand with his. Her heart beat quickened at the nearness of him and the brush of his warm hand against hers. “Be right back.”
She watched him leave the kitchen, and a warm flush spread up her neck as she noticed what a great butt he had. What was it about guys in jeans and cowboy boots? And when was the last time she’d noticed a guy’s rear end?
Her emotions were all over the place, and surprise filled her at the array of crazy feelings going on in her body. Perhaps the biggest surprise was the realization that she was not actually dead after all.
##
Levi applied ointment to the small owl’s cuts then set it in a dog kennel he’d found in the basement. Holly had given it a little water with an eyedropper then lined the kennel with the flannel shirt it had been wrapped in. The owl looked small in the kennel, but it was calm, and he didn’t think its injuries would take too long to heal.
He shooed Duke away from the kennel and studied his new student.
Something about Holly was familiar. Maybe it was just the way her eyes held the same wounded look of the hurt owl. He felt like he had met her before. Not exactly her, but a shadow of the woman that stood before him.
“So, I feel like we may have met before. Did you grow up around here?” he asked.
“Yeah, I felt like that too. I think I figured it out when you said your last name. I graduated from Pleasant Valley High, and I think we met at a party. You were older, so you probably wouldn’t remember me, but I went to prom with your younger brother, Dallas.”
That was it! She was the Ditzy Dog-napper! His brother had taken a crazy girl to prom that had ditched him that night to kidnap a dog. Their family had ribbed Dallas about being a worse date than a mutt, and dubbed Holly the Ditzy Dog-napper.
It was easier to think of her as the silly girl who’d ditched his brother than recall the memory of the first time he’d actually met her.
He’d been a senior when she was a freshman. It was the summer after graduation and his mind had already been on college. He hadn’t even wanted to go to the stupid party, but his friend had dragged him along. He remembered seeing her for the first time, a cute blonde with a spitfire spirit, who had a loud laugh and an easy smile.
He’d been sitting on the couch when she’d dropped down beside him, the beer in her cup sloshing onto his leg. She’d ignored the spill, instead asking him his name and declaring that she thought he was cute.
The slur in her words told him she was talking from beer bravado, so he’d laughed and told her he thought she was cute too. Before they’d had a chance to talk more, they were pulled into an impromptu game of Truth or Dare. She’d loudly declared Dare on her turn, and when her friend dared her to kiss the guy next to her, he’d suspected he’d been set up.
He remembered the way she’d thrown back her shoulders as if getting ready to take on the world. With a daring grin, she’d boldly placed her hands on either side of his cheeks and pulled him in for a fiery kiss.
Even with the setup and the taste of beer on her lips, it had been one helluva great kiss.
After the game, he’d lost track of her and didn’t see her again that summer. He’d left for college and figured she’d been drunk and probably hadn’t even remembered the kiss. The next thing he’d heard of her was the crazy story his brother told of getting dumped at prom by a crazy girl who had abducted a dog.
He looked down at Holly now and tried to see that wildly spirited girl from high school. This woman looked too thin, and there was no sign of that reckless bravery in the slight hunch of her shoulders. Her eyes held no spark of fun, but instead carried a deep sadness. “I remember you. I think it was a party at the Gregsons’ house.”
“Um, yeah. I think so. That party was my first introduction to beer, and I’m a little fuzzy on all the details of that night.” A faint blush appeared on her cheeks as she busied herself petting the dog. She did remember!
“You were one crazy chick. I thought Dallas told me you got married to a guy in your graduating class. Seems like he did the rodeo circuit. Tall guy? Bronc rider?”
She nodded, her eyes suddenly full of tears. She swiped at them with the sleeve of her sweater. “Sorry. I don’t talk about it much. Yes, I married Scott Gibson, but he died a couple of years ago. An accident during a rodeo.”
“Oh shit. I’m sorry.” He seemed to recall hearing the story of a local guy getting bucked from a horse and breaking his neck. It was one of those freak accidents that no one could have prepared for.
She waved away his concern. “I’m sorry too. I didn’t mean to cry. You just caught me off guard. I’ll be fine.”
“Are you sure you want to do the horseback-riding lesson? We can plan another day. I’d understand if it’s too hard for you to face a horse.”
She offered him a rueful smile. “Facing a horse is exactly why I’m here.” She pushed back her shoulders, offering him a glimpse of the girl he remembered. “My therapist has instructed me to face my fears. And I have become deathly afraid of horses. Scott had always planned to teach me to ride, but he never got the chance. So, I am going to learn to ride a horse.”
The corner of her mouth tipped up in a weak attempt at a sm
ile. She seemed so fragile, her thin frame swallowed up in a blue sweater that was a size too big. He imagined it had fit at one time, but grief had a way of taking a toll on a body.
The way she twisted her delicate hands in front of her touched his soul. She reminded him of the young owl, wide-eyed and fearful. Something in him just wanted to pick her up and cradle her against him, tell her everything would be all right.
But he barely knew her, and something told him she might not appreciate him going all fireman on her and picking her up.
“Okay, well, if that’s what you want, why don’t we get started? I’ll take you out to meet Nell.”
##
“Hi, Nell.” Holly touched the horse’s neck softly and looked into her gentle brown eyes. She seemed so big, towering over Holly as she stood next to her.
“Nell’s a good-natured horse,” Levi explained. “She’s older and really sweet. I use her a lot with kids.”
She liked the calm, easy tone of Levi’s voice. He seemed to sense her fear, and hadn’t pushed her or made her feel embarrassed for being afraid.
“You ready?” he asked.
She nodded, not trusting herself to speak as she swallowed back the lump in her throat. He held the stirrup out for her, and she lifted her foot into it. He moved behind her, gently cupping her elbow to help her up.
She could do this. One push and she would be up. She reached for the saddle horn. Nell took a step forward, emitting a huff with a shake of her head. It was just enough to startle her, and she fell back with an alarmed cry.
Her fall was broken by Levi’s muscled chest, and his arms came up around her. “You’re all right. I’ve got you.” His voice was soft and gentle, and his arms provided comforting support.
Her hand trembled as she rested it on Levi’s forearm. “I just need a minute. She startled me.”
“Take all the time you need. I’m right here.”
They stood for a moment as she tried to calm her breathing, matching it to Levi’s steady exhales. He stayed behind her, his stance relaxed.
He leaned down, his voice low against her ear. “Better?”
His lips so close to her sent her pulse skyrocketing again, but this was a different kind of fear. A fear that she was actually attracted to a man again. After all these years.
She was supposed to be facing her fears, and memories of Scott warred with her body’s obvious attraction to Levi.
Could thoughts of another man’s lips be a way of facing her fears? She was concentrating so hard on her fear of horses, but maybe her actual fear was more about moving on. And being afraid of letting go of Scott.
Was touching Levi and having his arms around her a betrayal to Scott’s memory? “I’m okay.” She let out a small sigh of relief as he stepped back from her, but also immediately missed the warmth and strength of his body. How could she have such conflicting thoughts?
“I have an idea,” Levi said, reaching around her to unsaddle the horse. “Why don’t we start off a little slower?” He took the saddle and blanket off and handed Holly a brush. “Why don’t we spend today’s lesson with you just getting to know Nell?”
He spent the next hour with her, patiently showing her how to brush the horse and put the saddle back on. Nell was patient as well, calmly enduring the lesson and gobbling up the sugar cubes Holly held out in her hand.
Levi brought over a small set of stairs and aligned them under the stirrups. “I use these with beginners. It makes it easier to get up into the saddle.” He climbed up the stairs and demonstrated how to get into the saddle. He held out his hand. She climbed the stairs and eased herself onto the saddle in front of him.
“I just want you to sit in the saddle for a bit. We’re not going anywhere. Just getting you used to the feel of being on the horse.”
His arms hung loose around her as he held the reins. She let herself lean against his chest. His thighs hugged hers, and she fought back the panic of being so close to him, in such an intimate position.
He seemed so solid, so strong. She drew from his strength, inhaling a deep breath and catching the delicious male scent of his aftershave.
She could do this.
She was sitting on a horse and nothing bad was happening. She was also touching a man, a very good-looking man whose muscled arms were resting easily against her hips. And plenty was happening with that.
Her stomach was doing flip-flops, and his breath against her neck was causing a stir of feelings that she felt had long ago shut down.
This was it. She was facing her fears. She was on the precipice of terror and excitement.
A small voice inside of her whispered that it was time. That she was doing the right thing. She didn’t know if the voice was Scott’s, her therapist’s, or her own inner conscience, but she was finally ready to listen. Ready to move forward. She just had to take that first step.
Chapter Three
A light snow was falling, and Levi tossed a bale of hay over the stall. It was Christmas Eve, but his thoughts had nothing to do with the holiday and everything to do with Holly.
He glanced at his watch. It was almost nine. She should be here any time now for her second lesson.
Her first lesson had gone nothing like he’d expected yesterday. He was unprepared for the extent of her fear at even being around the horse. And more than that, he was unprepared for the extent of his feelings for this woman he’d barely met.
Everything in him wanted to protect her. To shield her from the hurt that caused such pain in her eyes. His heart ached at the way her hands trembled and her body shook with fear. All he could do was hold steady and try not to spook her.
He’d spent years breaking horses, and recognized panic and fear in a stallion’s eyes. He saw that same terror in Holly’s eyes as she fought to overcome her fear of Nell and riding the horse. Using the same patience he would with a frightened or hurt animal, he offered her his strength and a sense of calm.
The problem lay in that as much as he wanted to protect her, he also just flat-out wanted her. The smell of her hair made him dizzy as she leaned back against him, and the pale length of her neck invited him to nuzzle there.
It took several rounds of repeating baseball stats in his head to control his yearning when she rested between his thighs in the saddle. He’d wanted to pull her to him, cradle her against his chest, but he knew she was frightened enough, and his own sense of preservation told him not to get involved with this woman.
He had enough on his plate with running this ranch and taking care of his dad. He’d been so glad that his dad had agreed to spend the holidays with his brother, even if it meant leaving him alone for Christmas.
Even without worrying about his dad, there was plenty to do with tending the animals, plus the town was expecting him to bring a tree in tomorrow for the annual Christmas tree lighting ceremony.
He did not need the distraction of a woman, especially a wounded woman who had a history of crazy behavior. This was not a fight he needed to step into the ring for. He scarcely knew her.
Except he did know her. Or he used to.
His mind had kept him awake last night with images of that young, daring girl in high school. The one who had so passionately given herself to him in a kiss. Was that girl still inside the frightened woman he’d held yesterday?
He didn’t know, and it was not up to him to find out. He didn’t need this and wasn’t interested. Period. Final answer.
As he snuck another glance at his watch, the quick tempo of his rapidly beating heart betrayed him when he heard the sound of her car coming down the driveway.
##
She was doing it. She was really doing it. She was riding a horse.
Holly smiled as she sat up straighter in the saddle and risked a glance around her. They had made a slow circle through the meadow, and Nell plodded slowly along as they headed back to the barn. The snow had turned thicker and covered the ground, turning the ranch into a winter wonderland.
Fluffy flakes clung
to Nell’s mane as the horse drew abreast of Levi on the back of a large black gelding. He turned to her, his face open and smiling under the brim of his cowboy hat.
Oh my. He was one hot dish of man-candy.
“You’re looking pretty good on that horse,” he said. “You okay?”
She nodded. She did feel okay—almost good, in fact. She was still a little shaky inside, but she was definitely making strides in facing her fear of riding.
Yesterday, she’d been a mess of conflicting feelings, but today she had more of a handle on things. She’d even gone so far as to attempt to flirt a little with Levi when he’d helped her get saddled up.
A flurry of sensations had filled her belly when he’d flirted back, touching her leg as he assisted her and laughing at a small joke she’d made. His laugh was deep, and she felt it inside of her chest.
He smiled at her now, and she felt a warm glow that she suspected just might be close to happiness.
Maybe she was just overwhelmed at the surge of emotions she was feeling. It had been so long since she’d felt anything at all. But something told her she was glimpsing a feeling that she’d hidden away for a long time. A feeling that she wanted to know again.
She smiled back, but her smile faltered as Nell stumbled on a tree root. The horse whinnied as she trotted forward, trying to regain her balance.
Levi had told her to trust the horse, that it knew the path. But instinct kicked in, and she cried out in fear as she squeezed the horse with her legs.
Obviously spooked, Nell took off at a gallop, heading for the safety of the barn. Holly screamed, dropping the reins and clutching at the horse’s mane. She leaned over, wrapping her arms around Nell’s neck, and held on as the horse bolted across the meadow.
Her eyes were closed tight. She heard Levi’s voice above the thundering of hooves as he yelled for her horse to stop. She felt his presence, and opened her eyes to see him galloping beside her, his body bent sideways, hanging off his horse as he reached down for Nell’s reins.